Leah: Hey everyone! Welcome to the FWAs pre-show, coming up we’ve got exclusive interviews with the divas who are kind enough to talk to us. You know how it is, some divas are so far up their own asses and think they’re too important to do interviews.

[Leah looks angry and shakes her head but her producer signals to her and she stands up straight.]

Leah: For all you gays out there, we’ve got fashion as you’ll get to see all the dresses the divas are wearing and you can your little homo friends can gush about them. From what I’ve seen tonight, there’s not that many fashion disasters which is quite a tragedy, I was hoping I could walk up to someone and point and laugh but I guess not.

[Leah looks sad and turns around, looking at the people behind her as they pose for pictures and sign autographs for the fans.]

Leah: This whole thing is very E! tonight and my partner for the evening is that slut Krysta Taylor. Apparently Krysta has someone boring for us. Great, a nice way to make everyone switch off on the first five minutes and I bet I get blamed for it!

[Leah shakes her head as the camera cuts to Krysta Taylor standing with Amanda Kauffman. Krysta is dressed in a fabulous outfit and smiles smugly into the camera, Amanda waves at the fans who call her name.

Krysta: Thanks, you bitch. I’m standing by with Amanda Kauffman who’s nominated tonight for the “Best ‘I Need A Personality’ Award”. How are you doing tonight?

Amanda: Pretty good... Wait a minute what award am I nominated for again?

Krysta: “Best ‘I Need A Personality’ Award” which is quite accurate in my opinion.

Amanda: Very funny. (swears under her breath)

Krysta: Last year you were nominated for “Best Female” and “Best Team”, you won neither. Do you think you’ll win tonight?

Amanda: If that is the only award I'm nominated for tonight then let's hope not.

Krysta: You don’t even know your nominations? Most divas would know when they agree to an interview, wow you’re an idiot. So you know Paris Hilton is here tonight? Are you looking forward to meeting your twin?

Amanda: How many times do I have tell you stop comparing me to that blonde bitch Paris Hilton?

Krysta: Well considering you have no personality, it’s the only thing people can remember you for. Where’s your little cousin anyway? The one who loses like all the time? Has body dysmorphia?

Amanda: You mean Shayla? She's NOT my cousin. She's my adopted sister.

Krysta: See, you think people care about your family but…it’s like, *snore*.

Amanda: Whatever...

Krysta: Right, so besides all of that. What are you looking forward to tonight?

Amanda: Not really. You've really ruined the moment of being here by saying the only award I'm nominated for.

Krysta: It is though, did you not look at the nominations? You’re the one who’s supposed to know, I’m just feeding off my earpiece and having to pretend to be nice to you.

Amanda: Thank you for pretending to be nice to me but knowing what you're nominated for ruins the surprise.

[Amanda walks away looking angry as Krysta looks totally confused, Krysta then looks into the camera as the show cuts to Leah who’s chuckling. Leah then rolls her eyes as Krysta shrugs to the camera.]

Leah: Yeah, don’t worry Krysta. We all know she’s an idiot. Anyways, I’m going to be leaving this little area. No, not because the cameramen are all ugly and fat, but because I too am going to intergrate with the divas. So let’s go back to Krysta once again because she’s got some bimbo with her!

[The camera pans to see JLT standing and posing for pictures, standing shyly as she smiles coyly. KibbyD stands pouting for the camera, posing for a picture with her dog DaisyD and Paris Hilton who poses with Tinkerbell, the duo smiling and pouting. The camera cuts to Krysta once again who’s standing next to Aphrodite who pouts the camera, wearing a stylist yet sexy outfit. Aphrodite smiles and blows kisses to the camera and Krysta gives her a dirty look.]

Krysta: I’m here with Stripped Champion Aphrodite who’s nominated in many categories tonight including “Best Comedy Performance” and “Best ‘I Don’t Just Wrestle, I Sing And Dance Too!’ Award”. So Aphrodite, do you think you’ll win in your categories?

Aphrodite: Can Shark eat people? Of course I'm going to win both my awards tonight Crusty..I mean Krysta, I mean like come on now..those women like are totally pathetic and nobody can beat me.

Krysta: You’re the type of woman that would let her boyfriend beat her. So, what are you wearing tonight? Did you blow anyone famous to get a gown? Details?

Aphrodite: No darling, I didn't blow anyone..unfortunately all the guys were in a parking lot earlier banging some girl with the last name Taylor and first name starting with a K..I can't recall, I have a bad memory. But anyway this cutesy dress was made by Donna Karen, she is a friend of mine you know cause I was like a famous model before, Although what would you know about style since you look like you stepped out of a garbage shoot. Now don't feel bad Krysta, at least you look better than Star Jones.

Krysta: If I’m Star Jones then you’re Rosie, that’s worse. So who are you looking forward to meeting tonight star-wise? We have a lot of stars here, they’re not all that big but they look A-list compared to your Z-list presence.

Aphrodite: Ummm well, I'm looking to meet your crack dealer..and your pimp of course sweetie, just so I can tell them to put their bitch on a leash!

Krysta: Any last words for your non-existent fans watching?

Aphrodite: Yes..yes. One, I love all those super cute teddies that you send me and the love letters are nice too. Oh and word of advice (looking at Krysta) Stay away from crack heads!

[Aphrodite then blows another kiss into the camera as Ruby pulls her away, Krysta folds her arms and frowns. The camera pans over the red carpet once again as Tiger Lily stands smiling, dressed fabulously, she waves to the fans and poses for the camera. The camera then cuts to Leah who’s standing next to one of the hosts, Katia, who’s wearing a green dress.]

Leah: I’m her with one of the hosts for this evening, Katia. You’re nominated for a bunch of awards too so it’s probably going to be a good nice for you. It’s funny because Middle Eastern people don’t really ever get anything good happen to them except for smallpox, it’s nice you’re different. How are you feeling? Are you nervous?

Katia: Smallpox? Is that what you have now..or is that just your natural skin? Anyway Leah, I am really excited to be hosting the awards this year since the previous hosts lacked everything that I possess..and that's class and elegance! And to answer your question I am far from being nervous..I'm just looking to dominate the stage and bring home all the awards.

Leah: You’re performing tonight as well. Do you think you’re going to be overexposed, I mean you’re hosting, you’re nominated and you’re performing. I’ll be looking for my vomit bucket, do you think the fans will do the same? Plus can you even remember all the stuff you’re supposed to?

Katia: Now Leah, quite the contrary my dear because everyone all over the world are excited to see more of me, since I have been away conquering the world with my musical talents. Children, women, men and old people are nothing but thrilled that I am going to be all over this show doing what I do best..Be Fabulous!

Leah: You’re nominated for a few awards including “Best Feud” and the most pretigious award of the night, “Best Female”. You’ve got some stiff competition in that category including your co-host Felicity. Have you gotten along with Felicity during this whole thing or can we expect a bitchfight and some blood?

Katia: You know I should have really been giving the awards now instead of having to wait for this show to being, I mean all those women are just going to whine and bitch about losing in the first place. I am the Best Female and I deserve to have the best feud too after having to deal with Casper for almost a whole year..do you know the therapy I went through? And as for Felicity, I have no problems with her..as of yet, but I told her that if she fucks up I was going to slap her around the stage.

Leah: Speaking of slapping, in your performance, are you having dancers? What can we look forward to from your performance? Are you going to pull out the Shaznay Lewis backhanded bitchslap?

Katia: Yes, I will be having dancers in my performance and they all ready been prepped to know that if they fuck up I will have them all executed!

Leah: So are we going to see lots of clothes changes from you as well? You seem to have an array of outfits all the time, you seem to spend most of your time changing than anything else. Why don’t you show up in like some hotpants and knee-high leather boots instead of all this gown crap?

Katia: If I wanted to be like the common folk Leah, I would dress like you..But no honey, I have far too much class and style to be caught dead wearing something off from "Walmart" This dress that I have was custom made by my personal friend Roberto Cavalli and yes dear there will be a lot of dress changes throughout the night.

Leah: That ho Victoria Beckham will upstage you anyway, no matter what “ROBERTO” has designed you. He’s so crap anyways. I asked him to do my dress and he said no? How rude is that! Do you have any last words for the people watching? Like why they shouldn’t turn off the TV at the site of you?

Katia: Because If they don't I will personally execute them!

[The camera then cuts to Krysta Taylor standing with an angry look on her face, next to her are Blonde Ambition with Carley and Courtney wearing matching pink dresses and Mistress standing behind them. Krysta sighs into her microphone.]

Krysta: I’m here with the most idiotic people in the federation, Carley and Courtney Monroe. Idiots, you’re nominated for “Best Team”, “Best Feud”, “Best Comedy Performance” and “Best Breakthrough” tonight. How does it feel to be up for so many awards?

Carley: Well it’s just Fantabulous too be for so many awards. I just hope we have enough space in our room! We’ve got my diva of the month award and and other cool stuff in there.

Courtney: I'll put my awards on my nightstand or above my bed, We are very excited in fact I almost peed my pants on the way over here!

Krysta: The fans have been voting for a month for these awards and four nominations is a lot, you have a bigger chance than most people to win. Do you think you’ll win tonight?

Carley: Duh! We’re like the Blondest and Ambisionest oooh ooh and the most funziest team in DU. Everybody’s gonna vote for us!

Courtney: Who's more Funzie than us? Nobody! that's why everyone is gonna vote for us, The Pink Revelution has begun!

Krysta: There’s a lot of stars here tonight, there’s a few blondes like yourselves. Who do you think you’re most looking forward to meeting?

Carley: Ummmmm…I dunno (big grin)

Courtney: I wanna meet the Pussycats dolls! they have that great song "Don't ya wish you're girlfriend was funzie like me?

Krysta: Now, you’re outfits are ridiculous. What caused you wear such a monstrosity? Did your stylists play a cruel joke on you?

Carley: Our Nana made them for us you big meanie!

Courtney: Yeah! Take that back you big meanie! Don't listen to her nana, we LOVE our dresses! You should be ashamed for hurting our nana's feelings!

Krysta: Do you have any last words for your fans or anyone watching at home tonight?

Carley: I got two words for ya!...THINK PINK!!! (giggles)

Courtney: Yeah Think Pink!! Remember Pink=Peace! Bye-bye!

[Krysta turns to the camera and then looks around angrily, she then puts her hand to the camera and begins to yell at her producer for making her do the interview. The camera then cuts to Blonde Ambition skipping down the red carpet before cutting back to Krysta who has grabbed Tiger Lily for an interview, she's wearing a cute dress.]

Krysta: I’m here with Tiger Lily who’s nominated for a few awards tonight including “Best New Female” and “Best Breakthrough”. How are you feeling tonight Lily? Nervous? Excited? Constipated? AIDs-ridden?

Tiger Lily: Hi Krysta! I'm super psyched to be here, it's fun looking at everybody's dresses! I'm bit nervous too, my stomach is all bubbly and I peed twice before I came here. But hey, even if I don't win, at least I have great shoes.

Krysta: Yeah, let’s talk about your outfit. Most people here are wearing these long gowns and dresses but you’ve decided to go with something more fun and summery. Why? Did you get your seasons wrong?

Tiger Lily: Well, I really liked this dress when I saw it. It kind of reminds me of summer because it's cute and flirtatious. Plus, I really like the way it makes my legs look.

Krysta: So what do you think of your chances tonight? You’re a huge favourite with the fans and it is the fans who make the difference and give out the awards, do you think you’ll win tonight?

Tiger Lily: Um, I hope so because I really like winning awards. I don't know if my chances are so good, but I guess we'll see.

Krysta: You’re also performing tonight, can you give us any details on that? Are you looking forward to it?

Tiger Lily: Oh my gosh, it's going to be so much fun. I don't want to give too much information but I promise it's going to be awesome! We're all gonna look so pretty in our cute dresses!

Krysta: Is there any stars you’re looking forward to meeting tonight?

Tiger Lily: Yeah, I can't wait to meet the Pussycat Dolls. I really like their music and I think it'll be fun hanging out with them. I'd also like to meet the Sugababes as I am singing one of their songs tonight. I hope they approve!

Krysta: Do you have any last words for your fans watching?

Tiger Lily: Yeah, I hope everyone has fun watching the show tonight. It's going to be good, I promise! Also don't forget to root for me at Nuclear Pussy in a few weeks, it'll be really exciting! Think pink, y'all!

[Lily smiles into the camera as Krysta shoots her a look, Lily turns and heads back into the crowd, joining her fellow Blonde Ambition members. The camera cuts to Leah, who stands with Dirty Inc. who are wearing an array of nice dresses. Latrisha is dressed in an elegant gown, Envy is dressed well,and Avery is wearing a nice pink dress.]

Leah: I’m here with Dirty Inc, they’re not nominated for any awards tonight but they’re performing. How does it feel to be at the FWAs?

Avery: I feel so fantas-

Latrisha: Shut up whore she was talking to me! I feel great.

Envy: ........

Leah: Great, you’re dressed quite well. I thought you’d turn up in hot pants and bondage for some reason, did you have a really good stylist that you paid with sloppy seconds or did you pick your outfits out yourself?

Envy: .......

Avery: Yes, what the Madame said. Were elegant and shit. Totally.

Leah: You’re performing tonight and there’s a lot of mystery surrounding the performances, can you give any hints on what we can expect from you tonight?

Latrisha: Oh, well let's just say that Dirty Incorporated is going to rock the show. I had my stylist also coordinate our attire for the performance, so we'll look great there too. It's going to be great, absolutely great.

Avery: Yeah, what she said.

Envy: My toe hurts.

Leah: I hope it’s not your camel toe. There’s a few stars here tonight besides the fabulous divas of DU. Is there anyone you’re looking forward to meeting?

Latrisha: Dita Von Teese, I really love that woman. She's gorgeous.

Avery: I'm looking forward to Miss World 2006. I think I'm gunna chug a rock or two at her. That druggie.

Envy: Paris Hilton...

(Latrisha gives her an evil stare)

Envy: Oh no, Paris... She isn't showing up. Um, Dita Von Tesse.

Leah: Well good luck with your performance, it’s going to be car crash TV, I bet. Do you have any last words for your fans watching?

Latrisha: Yes. To all of my groupies, please adjust your seats as close to the television as you can, and prepare to suck some major clit!

[Leah looks shocked at the camera as Latrisha smiles and walks away, with Avery and Envy following her. Leah stares at Avery and smiles as Avery looks back at her. The camera pans over the red carpet, fading into to see Tequila posing for the cameras, pouting and flipping her hair while she smiles. The camera cuts to Krysta Taylor standing with Felicity, who's dressed in a classy dress.]

Krysta: I’m here with one of the hosts tonight, Felicity. She’s nominated with me in the “Best Bitch” category even though I’m totally going to own her, and she’s in some other categories as well like “Best Feud”. The show’s approaching and soon all eyes will be on your saggy boobs, are you nervous?

Felicity: For starts, I didn't even have to resort to the amount of masking tape that you did, and no I am not nervous, I am used to performing for the fans of Divas Unleashed, and I know tonight they are here to see me wint Best Fued and Best Female. Not Best Bitch, I'm to adores for that, must have been a typo that caused me to end up in that category

Krysta: You are a bit of a bitch. So seeing as you’re an anti-social ho, how has it been working with your co-host tonight, Katia? Have you gotten along with her or can we expect a catfight tonight? What do you think of her? Huh?

Felicity: You can't fight in these dresses, unless you want a night of wardrobe malfunctions. That's not what this night is about, it's about paying tribute to the rest of the Divas ... and me

Krysta: So you’re up for a few awards, you’re hosting and you’re performing. People will be sick of you. What do you think your chances are for the awards? Do you think you’ll win or did you blow someone to ensure you win?

Felicity: It's possible I could win, we all know I am a top diva.

Krysta: Did you bring your brat of a baby to these awards? Shane and Tequila are here and they don’t have her. Have you abandoned her again?

Felicity: A Divas Unleashed event is no place for children, she's home with her grandfather ... who better not be giving her Jolt cola again.

Krysta: Yeah, drugs already? So do you have any words for your fans watching?

Felicity: That to stay tuned, because my star is only going to keep rocketing!

[Felicity then smiles to the fans who cheer for her and walks away as Krysta shoots her a dirty look. The camera fades into Crystal Hilton wearing a daring outfit as she smiles and waves to the fans before it cuts to Leah who’s looking slightly scared next to Lilith, who’s wearing an unusually revealing dress.

Leah: I’m standing by with Lilith and I have to say, what the hell are you wearing? I would have never expected you to wear something like that. I can see your boobs!

Lilith: I know, it’s revealing but I like it. It’s been turning heads and I like that. It’s classy and it’s nice to wear something like this, it’s only once a year.

Leah: So you’re nominated in the most prestigious category “Best Female” among others, what do you think your chances are?

Lilith: I don’t think I will win. This is a popularity contest and I’m not popular enough to win. I don’t need an award, I already have the Unleashed title and that’s enough for me.

Leah: So what stars are you looking forward to meeting tonight?

Lilith: I don’t know, nobody to be honest. I’m just here to have a good time and enjoy the show. It’s really weird that you get these people who you don’t know shouting your name. It’s like who are these strangers? I’m not into the fame game as much as other people are but I’m really enjoying my time on the red carpet.

Leah: Okay, didn’t ask you that but you have nice boobs so I’ll let you off. Do you have any last words for your fans?

Lilith: Continue to be evil and support me. Evil will conquer the world, invest your love in Satan and Satan will love you in return.

Leah: Okay, nice little preaching there, you fundamentalist. Now go and get your boobs some more.

[Lilith stares at Leah for a while and walks away, returning into the sea of people. Leah then sighs and looks around. The camera fades to see Dame Barbara standing with her family, she waves to the camera and poses with Bethany. The camera then cuts to Krysta Taylor who smiles into the camera.]

Krysta: That was all we could fit into this pre-show and the FWAs are heading your way right now! There's going to be a frenzy to get inside now, typical. People always leave things to the last minute, anyway, thanks for joining me and my boobs and that other bitch, Leah. It's great a show, here's the FWAs! Enjoy the show!

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<-Feminity Wrestling Awards 2007->