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Friday April 8th 2004
Tequila: Ladies & Gentlemen, welcome to Exile!
[The crowd cheers, as a cable lowers into the ring.]
Tequila: Being as not everyone has the chance and money privileges to watch Divas Unleashed PPV’s, they won’t be able to watch as Katrina & Star battle it out on Sunday in England. I found that to be unfair. So tonight, I am changing the scheduled handicapped match between Mya, Katrina & Star… into a triple threat ladder match!!!
[“Like A Virgin” by Marilyn Manson starts to play and the vignette opening credits roll. We see all the champions raising their belts in a sequence before bursting into the arena where the fans are on their feet screaming and chanting as the show opens.]
[The traditional display of pyrotechnics ballroom dance with each other, panning around the audience we see such signs as “Jake's my daddy!” “Why? Star? Why?” and “I got drunk with Tequila last night!” are seen in the audience. We then find ourselves on the lap of commentators Renegade and JLT.]
Renegade: Welcome to Exile ladies & gentlemen, and as we just witnessed, Tequila is back and taking charge of things, making Divas Unleashed the most just place in the world! She should make everything right and give me a lap dance.
JLT: Down boy, but like you said, Tequila is back and had changed tonight’s scheduled handicapped match, into a full triple threat ladder match! I think she just has it out for Star because she associates herself with Shane.
Renegade: Wouldn’t you have it out for her also? That match will be off the charts! Speaking of ‘off the charts’, did you see what Yuku has been wearing lately?!
JLT: Yes I have, and although slightly demented, Lady Dark Fist will be facing off against Crystal & Kaci in a tag team match, with Princess Vittoria as the guest referee, which I’m sure doesn’t please Yuku as she spit in Vittoria’s face last week.
Renegade: Not to mention Emerald is on her side… she’s feisty!
JLT: Also tonight, Jake Wild’s newly formed “Team X” debuts against Kamikaze and the dark duo of Lilith & Lelenya as each vouch for a chance to become the contenders for Unleashed Tag Team Titles.
Renegade: You know Tara’s not too pleased with the chance of Nyssa gaining a shot against her, because they’ve been wanting to kill each other! Even tonight, Tara plans on making mince meat of Selena!
JLT: Selena is a great wrestler! I think she’ll be able to overcome Tara’s hissy fit.
Renegade: You know whose really pissy? Askai Champion Laura. She hates everyone! She gets the chance to cuss her lips off as she squares off against Bianca & Mystika, in a triple threat match.
JLT: I’ve noticed that Pandora & Mystika don’t get along very well…
Renegade: Pandora’s backstage!
[“Hip Hop Star” by Beyonce plays as the fans rise to their feet with their fingers sticking up and holding up their ‘Star Sucks’ signs. Out struts the Unleashed Champion with her hair tied back and a smug look on her face, she looks pleased with the reaction she receives. She walks down to the ring ignoring the fans attempts to attack her and climbs into the ring with a brown envelope.]
JLT: This has become an almost weekly event for Star, coming to the ring at the top of the show.
Renegade: Hush, she’s about to speak.
[Star’s music dies down as she takes a microphone from a crew member. In the ring behind her is a table, with two leather seats and the ring mat has been furnished with red carpet.]
Star: I have a dream. That men, women and children of whatever races can come together in unity. I stand here today outside the Lincoln Memorial in hopes of making my dream come true.
[Star then wipes a fake stray tear.]
Star: Good times, good times. I’m out here because I am the only woman who is adored by both DU and 3WL, I’m going to play Bill Clinton and make peace! Yes that’s right! I think I should be the new president of Haiti! Yeah, that’d be cool. My own country!
Star: Without further ado, I would like to invite Shane Rockford down to the ring to get these historic proceedings underway.
[“Faint” by Linkin Park begins to play as Miss Rhiannon struts out in a long green dress with a frill at the end complete with high heels. She has her hair curly and falling down to her shoulders as it appears the Golden Goddess has undergone a classy transformation. Star frowns as the diva climbs the steps and walks into the ring with something in her hands.]
Star: What are you doing out here?
[Miss Rhiannon is inaudible but she manages to say “I’m going to sign for Shane!” even though Star looks confused she agrees.]
Star: Please welcome from 3WL especially, Sara.
[“All Eyez on On Me” by 2Pac plays as Sara walks out with what looks like a pissed expression upon her face. She hastily walks down to the ring and refuses a microphone offered to her by Star. Sara grabs a pen and searches the document. She finds the spot where she needs to sign and signs her signature. She then looks Rhiannon up and down with raised eyebrows before leaving the ring in silence heading up the ramp.]
Star: Quicker than I thought it would be. But thanks Sara, now Rhiannon do your part of the deal. However you plan to…
[Miss Rhiannon then walks forward and bends over to the table, she picks up the pen and looks at her other hand which is now seen as a credit card. Rhiannon matches the signature, forging it live on national television before standing up and handing Star the document.]
Star: There you have it ladies and gentlemen! Peace has been signed with 3WL! DU and 3WL are allies!
[The fans begin to boo harshly as Star raises the document above her head. “Freaking Out” by Adema interrupts again as Katrina walks out to interrupt Star who rolls her eyes as Rhiannon looks semi-scared. Katrina walks out dressed casually, with her green hair tied back and Star’s belt her in hands. She puts a microphone to her mouth.]
Katrina: What a wonderful owner we have, he can’t even be bothered to come to the ring and sign a piece of paper. I’m so glad we dropped that sewage on him last week, how did you manage to scrub that out Star? It looks like you still have some in your hair…
[Star looks shocked as her eyes grow wide and she begins to shout insults toward the Unleashed Champion.]
Katrina: But you know the real war was never between 3WL and DU, it was the divas against the power. Maybe we should pull our own liberation operation, and Star considering I have your belt I think it’s only right that I make our match a little bit special.
Star: How do you have any right in making matches?
Katrina: I have your belt. Doesn’t that make me the champion? Unless you want me to throw it in the trash? Or off a bridge? Or under the tracks of a train? Or..
Star: I get the point! What did you have in mind, whore?
Katrina: Oh I was thinking my specialty match, the one that I’m undefeated in and I think I’m the Queen of? How about a ladder match at Rule Britannia!
[The fans cheer for this announcement as Star looks shocked. She begins to argue with herself before she cuts in on the cheering with her reply.]
Star: Okay I’ll do it! But first you have to give me back my belt! Otherwise you lose the shot all together!
[The fans go wild for this revelation but “Money, Power, Respect” by Lil’ Kim plays and Kristin Wallace walks out with a trashcan in front of her. Katrina grabs the can and dumps the belt in it as Star’s eyes pop out of their sockets. Katrina then tosses the trashcan on the floor as the Bod Squad’s theme continues. Katrina and Kristin walk backstage as Star shakes her head with an infuriated expression.]
Renegade: Now where have I seen that before?
JLT: We’ve just learnt that Star and Katrina will face off in a ladder match at Rule Britannia! This should certainly spice things up a bit! Not to mention that 3WL and DU have agreed to be allies!
Renegade: Where have I seen that before?!
JLT: I don’t know!
Debutants Match
Renegade: Selena debuted last week when she got a face full of blood at the hands of Lilith’s nails and lost due to that, but this week the black beauty is taking on Miss Felicity.
JLT: Miss Felicity’s debuting this week too, will she have beginners luck?
Renegade: I hope she’s hot. I’ve heard all women with “Miss” in front of their name are easy too, Miss Tara Lee, Miss Rhiannon…
[Selena’s music plays, Selena runs to the ring in her red, white and blue wrestling attire and then slides under the bottom rope and then jumps up onto the turnbuckles and raises her fist into the air.]
John Roe The following contest is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, from Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, at a weight of 135lbs…SELENA!!!
[Selena climbs down from the turnbuckle and waits for Felicity’s arrival. Music starts to play on the PA system but the debutee is going to take the traditional ‘from behind’ debut. Felicity jumps over the barricade and slides under the bottom rope coming from behind with a clothesline to Selena as the referee calls for the bell.]
[Felicity then brings Selena to her feet by her head and whips her to the ropes. Felicity then lies down as Selena hops over and on the rebound of the ropes Felicity takes her down with a flying neckbreaker, Felicity then drops to a quick cover.]
[1]
[Selena kicks out sending Felicity off her body as both women get to their feet. Felicity runs towards Selena but Selena ducks her clothesline attempt and grabs her from behind driving her down into the canvas with a bulldog. Selena gets up and bounces to the ropes coming off with an elbow drop to her grounded opponent. Selena then picks up Felicity and hits her in the face with some forearms before whipping her to the corner. Selena charges at her with a running splash and connects with it. Selena then props up Felicity on the top rope and slap her across the face.]
Renegade: Selena’s going for a high risk move, I don’t think that’s a very good idea!
[Selena climbs up and poses for the fans, she then puts Felicity into a suplex position but Felicity manages to counter with some shots to the face which send Selena stumbling to keep her balance. Felicity hits her once again and Selena falls backwards but lands on her feet. Miss Felicity jumps off the top rope with a missile dropkick which connects with Selena as both women crash to the mat.]
[Selena is first up surprisingly and waits for Felicity to rise to her feet, Felicity turns around as Selena charges. Felicity counters with a kick to the face which stuns Selena, Felicity then tries another kick but Selena catches it and nails a dragon screw sending Felicity near to the corner.]
JLT: Mighty quick feet on Miss Felicity that shot come out of no where!
[Miss Felicity climbs to her feet resting in the corner. Selena runs towards her and leapfrogs over Felicity to land on the top rope and pushing Felicity to the ring at the same time. Selena poses and twists to try to execute her Selenahurricanrana finisher. She lands on Felicity shoulders and bends down towards the ring.]
[Felicity manages to counter though as she puts both her legs around Selena’s arms and prepares to drop Selena on her stomach and completing her ‘Style Clash’ finisher which she does slamming her opponent into the mat. Felicity then rolls over to cover.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
John Roe Here is your winner…MISS FELICITY!!!
[Felicity rises to her feet and raises her arms above her head and poses on the turnbuckle as the fans give her the reaction she wants. Felicity then catches sight of the stage area and her facial expression turns to that of confusion.]
[On the stage stands Jake EB Wild wearing a black suit and his hair gelled. He smiles and winks at Felicity before walking backstage, Felicity shrugs it off and poses some more.]
JLT: Miss Felicity picks up a victory but what an effort by Selena, what a match! It was back and forth, I’d like to see them wrestle again.
Renegade: Prediction was true, she was hot. Both women are actually, but what was up with Jake standing on the stage? We’d heard he was going to return but he was wearing a suit!
JLT: Beats me, probably wants to recruit Felicity for his latest porno movie.
[Laura is pouring herself a drink at the infamous drinks table. She’s by herself as Dee Snuts walk up from behind with a smug look on her face; she then reaches across Laura for a canned beverage as Laura sighs.]
Dee Snuts: Hey Laura. This the highlight of your day?
Laura: No?
Dee Snuts: Really? Considering how boring you look and how sleepy your matches are, I’m amazed you actually find yourself entertaining…
Laura: Shut up you c*nt! You should lick my cl*t! I’m so much more entertaining than you’ll ever be, in fact, just to prove how damn boring you are! I’m going to whip your whore ass and see if the fans are still bored then! You bitch!
Dee Snuts: Jeez, calm down. Don’t have your period or anything?
Laura: Did I tell you to talk? In fact to prove how entertaining I really am, me and Pandora, at Rule Britannia, I think it’s going to be a “Jump London” match! That’ll put your shitty dog collar crap to shame! The fans will see you coming down the aisle and use it as their toilet break!
[Dee’s eyebrows rise with an alarm look composing upon her face. Dee raises her hand to hit Laura but from behind comes Mystika with a porcelain dog bowl to the back of Dee’s head smashing it into pieces as Dee falls to the floor. Mystika then pulls a dog lead from her pocket and grabs Dee by the neck. She wraps the lead around her throat and then Mystika begins to pull her along the dirty floor by the lead. While cooing at her.]
Mystika: Come on Dee, come on, there’s a good bitch, come on!
-Commercial Break-
Standard Match
["Fuck Wit D" by DMX plays and Dee Snuts walks out on stage, posing for the crowd as the cameras flash.]
John Roe: Ladies & Gentlemen... the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making her way to the ring from San Jose, California... weighing in at 109 pounds... DEE SNUTS!!!
[Dee runs and slides into the ring, as the opening horn for "Powersurge" blares, the arena lights dim and upon the first "clapping" sequence about 12.5 seconds, a huge blast of purple and pink pyro goes off at the top of the entrance ramp. As the smoke from the explosion clears a figure can be seen standing in the smoke. As the horns resume at about 18 seconds, the figure comes out from the smoke and we see it is Laura.]
John Roe: And her opponant... from Oshkosh, Wisconsin... she is the Divas Unleashed Askai Champion... LAURA!!!
[Laura makes her way to the ring with a cocky smirk and a cocky swagger in her step, doing so in the middle of the ramp so that way no fans can make any contact with her and within 15 seconds has gotten to the ring, where upon she dives into it headfirst. Once back on her feet she climbs to the second rope of the closest turnbuckle and poses herself with her arms in the shape in an "L" and takes in the fans' reactions towards her before getting down and sprinting to the turnbuckle directly diagonal from the one she was on, gets on the second rope there and poses with her arms in an "L" again. This leaves her to be jumped from behind by Dee Snuts, who leaps behind her and takes her down to the mat with a reverse DDT! She pins!]
[1]
[2]
[Laura kicks out, as the crowd reels from the immediate shock from the early pin. Dee gets to her feet in fighting stance as Laura gets up with a bewildered look on her face, obviously shocked at what Dee just tried to pull.]
Renegade: Whoa... Dee Snuts getting better and better eh? You know the FCC is hating this match. Look at Laura!
[Laura begins cussing her head off as the *beeps* take over the sound on the television as the crowd cheers. Laura and Dee begin circling each other, shouting obscenities. Laura then grabs Dee by the hair, saying "you bitch!" before flipping Dee into a suplex. Laura covers, but Dee quickly kicks out before a pin goes down.]
[Laura pulls Dee to her feet again, and Dee suddenly hooks Laura onto her shoulders and delivers her death valley driver, the DeeVD out of no where! Laura's head bounces on the mat as Dee celebrates, and the crowd seems shocked at Dee begin able to shake Laura. Dee poses in the corner as Laura gets to her feet, and as Dee readies for "The Beatdown", running with her spear ready, laura dodges out of the way and throws Dee's face right into the turnbuckle! Dee stumbles backwards and runs right into Laura's "High Hurdle" enzigauri kick! Dee lies motionless as Laura covers.]
[1]
[2]
[Dee kicks out! Laura gets frustrated by this and stomps her feet, cursing Dee's kick out. Laura's eyes light up suddenly in the middle of "clit", and pulls Dee up to her knees. Laura signals for her finisher "Perfection", as the crowd boos. Laura lifts Dee to her shoulders and begins spinning for the jacknife powerbomb, when Dee reverses with the Deecanrana!!! Laura spins to the mat and right back up to her feet, and Dee nails a HUGE "In Yo Mouth" superkick!!!]
JLT: Go ahead... say it.
Renegade: Laura just got DEE SNUTS IN YO MOUTH!!! Thanks... I needed that.
[Dee pins and Laura grabs the ropes.]
[1]
[2]
[Dee pulls Laura's hand off the ropes]
[3]!!!
John Roe: Here is your winner... Dee Snuts!!!
Renegade: She won?!?
JLT: SHE WON!!!
[Dee stands up slightly stunned as Laura sits up, with a pissed look on her face, cursing and swearing to no end. Laura suddenly gets up ready to attack Dee, who slides out of the ring, as the two divas flip each other off, with the black strips covering their hands.]
Renegade: That was awesome! Let's cut backstage to Krysta Taylor before the FCC kicks us off the air!
[We cut to Krysta Taylor standing with a smile on her face with her hair in a perm and her breast still covered since that incident. Next to her stands Kaci with an anxious look on her face, and dressed in her ring attire.]
Krysta Taylor: Thanks, Renegade. I’m here with the Pinnacle of Perfection Kaci Russell and last week we saw Emerald’s vicious assault on her in which Kaci lost Gabriel’s baby due to that assault. Were you upset by that?
Kaci Russell: I was pleased and pissed. Pleased because I’m no longer carring any more devil spawn, but pissed considering I’d become attached to the baby. But make no doubt about it, I’m going to get Emerald for what she did!
Krysta Taylor: Will this be at Rule Britannia?
Kaci Russell: Of course it will, and I’ll make sure it’s a clean one-on-one match that’s for sure.
Krysta Taylor: What about tonight, you team with your worst enemy Kristin Wallace?
Kaci Russell: I’m not happy about that and I can’t say we’re going to get along because we’re not. I’m going out there to win, I’m picturing Emerald and Mya’s head on the others even though they are my friends.
Krysta Taylor: Do you think you’re going to win?
Kaci Russell: What kind of question is that? I’m the Pinnacle of Perfection and do perfectionists ever do something other than perfect? They don’t.
[Gabriel yanks Krysta Taylor out of the way making her fall to the floor as Kaci’s eyes narrow. Gabriel smirks at her and winks, until he grabs her by the throat and pulls her into a kiss. Kaci pushes him away and slaps him.]
[Mya and Emerald come from behind with Gabriel causing the distraction. Emerald begins to stomp on her as Mya pummels her head with punches. Emerald then puts Kaci in the sharpshooter as Gabriel kneels down in front of Kaci who’s face is that of pain. Gabriel then kisses Kaci once more as referees try to separate Emerald from her submission.]
The Dahl House
Renegade: Seems like Kaci and Emerald will face off at Rule Britannia, but if that’s the case than Emerald’s got herself a lead already attacking Kaci two weeks in a row!
JLT: Not to mention that Gabriel planted a lip lock on her while she was down. He’s out of prison as we’ve just seen. I hope Kaci isn’t hurt as we’ve got that big tag team main event later.
Renegade: That we do Jamie, but right now the sexilicious Brandy Dahl is in the ring.
[“Doll Parts” by Hole are playing as Brandy stands in a short white dress with a microphone in front of her. She smiles as the crowd applaud for the set of the Dahl House, Brandy nods to them as her show name blazes across the screen.]
Brandy Dahl: We’re back with the Dahl House, and after last week’s dramatic exit by Crystal I hope we have a more relaxed show. I have a very special guest joining me today, she happens to be one half of the tag champions, please welcome, Tara Lee-Shiro!
[“Bitch” by Meredith Brooks plays as Tara Lee walks out wearing a black robe. She sheds it to reveal a pink cat suit traditionally as she bump and grinds her way down the aisle to the ring. She climbs onto the apron shaking her ass before climbing into the ring to join Brandy.]
[Brandy shakes her hand. When Tara turns and waves to the crowd Brandy wipes her hand on her dress and sits down as Tara sits opposite her resting into the leather seats.]
Brandy Dahl: Welcome Tara, it’s good to have you here.
Tara Lee: It’s good to be here, anything for publicity.
Brandy Dahl: Right. Well how does it feel to finally be a champion after months of trying to get a belt?
Tara Lee: Wow, welcome to last month. Get some new questions Brandy.
Brandy Dahl: Oh okay, well what about your relationship? Divorce?
Tara Lee: I ought to slap whoever started that rumor. I’m going to prove tonight when we team together, that there is no rift or anyting in our married life. We’re super-happy in our married life. I’m a lesbian, you know, it was hard coming out to…my sister.
Brandy Dahl: Speaking of your sister, she’s disappeared, why did she go? Where even?
Tara Lee: No comment.
Brandy Dahl: Wow, talk about your difficult reputation. So-
[Brandy stops talking as the arena fades to darkness. The fans scream as “My Immortal” by Evanescence plays as a spotlight casts over the entrance way, Pandora walks out with her hands on her hips. The lights resume as the music cuts with Tara challenging Pandora to come to the ring, from behind comes a masked woman dressed in pink clotheslining her to the floor. The masked woman then right hands the defenseless Brandy and then grabs her by her neck tossing her over the top rope to the floor.]
Renegade: Is that Nyssa?
[Pandora walks down to the ring and watches as the newly identified “Nyssa” picks up a leather chair and slams her down onto the back of Tara, Nyssa then tugs on Tara’s cat suit and pulls it down off the diva leaving her in her bra and panties. The masked Nyssa then spits on her as the fans boo, before rolling out of the ring to join Pandora up the ramp.]
-Commercial Break-
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