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Friday August 13th 2004
Tequila: Isn’t it great that we have the whole evening to ourselves? Like, we’re running the show tonight and we have all this power and authority.
Emerald O’Connor: Don’t you always have that? Where is Shane anyway?
Tequila: He called earlier. He said he couldn’t make it as something came up. I’m sure he’s signing in a huge star like Hulk Hogan to beat the crap out of Star, wouldn’t that be just magical?
Emerald O’Connor: Except he’s a male?
Tequila: Please he’s a bigger queen than…the Queen of England.
Emerald O’Connor: What?
[Tequila shrugs as Emerald begins to spin again. In the corner is a large television set and the camera zooms in on it as we see Laura in the ring with Austin Mack as they both plant chairs in the ring and we head into the opening.]
[“Unintended” by Muse plays as we see various shots and some new editions including Charmion and Free Fall’s stage stunts before we crash into the arena for fireworks and cheering. The camera pans around the arena and we see such signs like “Make DU Anime Porn!” “Amanda – Marry Me!” and “Christine’s A PIRNF!” are some of the Japanese crowd’s best work on coloured cardboards. We cut to ringside where we see JLT smiling and Leah rolling her eyes with duck tape around her mouth.]
JLT: Hello and welcome to Exile everybody coming at you live from Saitama in Japan as part of our Japanese tour! We’ve been having a great time in the Far East so far and we have two more dates left! You’re joining us on Rockstar Entertainment and NAO1 respectively. I’m JLT, as always, and I’m joined by Leah tonight!
[Leah makes muffled sounds.]
JLT: But because Leah has the mouth of vermin, tonight I have taped her mouth shut and because of Leah’s racist comments last week our show has been cut so there has been some major changes to tonight’s card but don’t fret! We still have one hell of a show for you tonight!
JLT: We see Laura and Icenique battle in an ‘Anything Goes’ match to determine which diva will make the stipulation of their match at Massacre in the Orient in two weeks time. Icenique and Laura have ignited DU with their feud in recent weeks and their flame doesn’t seem to be bowing out.
JLT: We also have a triple threat match between Razor, Mya and Yuku Shiro. Yuku sees this as a preliminary match and is once again part of the ever-developing ‘power struggle’ between the stables of DU. Dark Inferno, the Occult and Star and Razor are all set to clash in the centre of the ring tonight!
JLT: And to bring us to our most hyped event, as it is Friday the 13th we have an ‘Oh The Horror’ match but details of that match have not been unveiled. Each team will represent a horror star and we will find out the real answer to Jason versus Freddy. There are four teams clashing on the unluckiest day of the year.
JLT: And Caitlin Fairchild is tackled by Ashley T. Bopper but first of all we have Faith Clarkson take on Kennedy in singles action. Shane hasn’t arrived at the arena but our president has not been located except from phone calls. I wonder where he is.
[JLT then turns and pulls off the duck tape off Leah as she screams.]
Leah: Ouch! You bi-
JLT:Here’s Laura!
[Laura is seen in the ring as Austin Mack sits down on a chair, Laura is handed a microphone by ring announcer John Roe and stands on her folding chair with a smirk on her face.]
Laura: What I’ve witnessed recently is so f*cking disgusting! All I use is a few foul words and suddenly the FCC want to ban me? Dee Snuts parents named her horribly 20 years ago when that reference didn’t exist yet she’s tried to ban? Yet Icenique can go out, have raves, get drunk and she’s totally fine! So because of the lack of authority and punishment around here right now, I’m going to be holding a sit down protest until something is done about Icenique!
[The sounds of Bon Jovi are heard as Emerald and Tequila walk out onto the stage, Tequila snatches the microphone from Emerald and shouts at Laura.]
Tequila: Laura! You get out of that ring right now or else I’ll come down there and make you leave! You have a choice, leave now or forfeit your match later!
Laura: I signed a contract for that match, you can’t do anything about it honey! Come and get me b*tch!
[Tequila tosses the microphone to Emerald who tries to grab her. Tequila runs down the aisle and slides into the ring, Laura leaps off the chair with a clothesline taking her down before picking her up and executing her powerbomb ‘Perfection’ finisher as Tequila lies on the ring canvas in pain. Laura smirks as Emerald rolls her eyes and walks backstage.]
JLT: I guess Laura is going to stop the show for a while! She’s showing no signs of moving!
Leah: Ooh, aren’t you predictable!
Debutants Match
[Kennedy is in the ring getting her boots checked by the arena when “I’m A Slave 4 U” by Britney Spears plays as Faith Clarkson is led to the ring on a lead by Sexy Amanda. The Dark Inferno member keeps a lock on her slave until when they reach the bottom Faith pulls Amanda into a lesbian kiss and slides into the ring.]
JLT: Okay, maybe they like being the slaves now?
[Once they are both legal, Faith cheap shots Kennedy with a slap and cockily dances in front of her but Kennedy fires back with an even bigger slap which sends Faith falling to her butt as Kennedy pushes her forward grabbing her neck and ramming her head constantly into the mat until the referee has to pull her off. Faith rolls to her feet and runs towards Kennedy but Kennedy launches with a spinning heel kick which turns into a leg drop once Faith is on the floor, as Kennedy is shaping up to be impressive in her debut. Kennedy grabs Faith by her hair and throws her into the corner, chasing after her with a clothesline trapping Clarkson between the turnbuckle and her arm, but Kennedy then props up Faith onto the top rope. The debuting diva is then grabbed by Faith’s arm and is forced away from the turnbuckle and into the canvas with a spinning DDT. Faith gets up with a smug look as she poses to the crowd. Faith then pulls Kennedy to her feet and starts to shout in her face]
[Kennedy has had enough and the Danish decides to hit a European Uppercut to the blonde taking her down to the mat with a shocked look on her face as the camera focuses in on her wide eyed shock until Kennedy’s foot comes into view stomping away on the head of Faith before she is picked up by Kennedy and taken down to the mat in a front face drop from a piledriver position. Kennedy poses to the fans as Faith slowly gets back up to her feet, Kennedy raises her arms above her head as she gets ready for a gymnastic maneuver as Faith rises fully to her feet Kennedy leaps forward springing up into a handstand with her feet landing on Faith’s shoulders and around her neck. Kennedy then uses her grip around Clarkson’s neck to rolls underneath Faith’s legs and pulls Faith face first down to the canvas as her head hits the mat before she bounces over into a roll landing spread eagled. ]
[Kennedy takes this opponent to signal for the crowd as she leaps onto the top rope before launching back off with a twisting leg drop as Faith screams out from the impact and holds her neck coughing as she scrambles for the ropes to get some air. Kennedy takes this to her advantage as she runs to the ropes with Clarkson still lying idle, she then dives over the top rope and Faith’s body and as gravity pulls her to the floor she elbow drops the top of Faith’s head and neck area as the Danish clutches her head and rolls back into the ring. Kennedy climbs onto the apron and raises her arm to the crowd as Faith rises on the other side breathless and still holding her neck, Kennedy leans back holding the ropes firmly in her hand jumping into the ring using the rope as her trampoline push, Clarkson counters Kennedy for the first time in the match as she dropkicks the Kennedy’s gut sending both women back down to the mat. ]
[Faith seems to have broken a nail as she sucks on her finger while getting Kennedy in a front face lock position, she poses to the fans as they boo her she waves them off and taps Kennedy’s back, just as she is about to move to execute the DDT, Kennedy counters into a northern lights suplex, she gets up to her feet and brings up Faith with her. She slams Faith into the corner and nails a few kicks to the midsection keeping Clarkson in the same position and immobile, Kennedy poses for her signature move as the fans rise to their feet while the stripper takes position opposite the corner.]
[Kennedy leans back on the rope and leaps into the ring with a coast to coast dropkick which she slams into Faith, who then falls on top of the slave, but Faith has fallen across the shoulders of her opponent and consequently, into a pin as the referee knows his rule book by heart and sees this, he starts the count.]
[1]
[2]
[Kennedy just gets her shoulder up but barely, as she tosses Faith off her, Faith stumbles to get to her feet using the other turnbuckle to steady herself. Kennedy uses the ropes to climb to her feet and begins to walk towards Clarkson, Kennedy then pulls her into an inverted DDT. Kennedy covers.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
John Roe: Here is your winner…KENNEDY!!!
[Kennedy gets up and celebrates her debut win. Sexy Amanda slides into the ring and kicks Faith in the stomach as we head into a commercial break.]
[Backstage we see Kristin putting ice into a cup of water at the world famous drinks table. Kaci Russell appears with her title around her waist with a plastic knife and pokes it into Kristin’s back. Kristin turns around holding her back and frowns at Kaci.]
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: What was that for?
Kaci Russell: Oh just some taste of your own medicine. You stab me in the back, I stab you. That old saying.
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: Kaci, I ne-
Kaci Russell: I’m not going to listen to you Kristin! How dare you do that! I thought we were friends! We were sisters! But you went and ruined it, so at the pay per view you will have to make a choice! It’s either me or Katrina!
[Kaci turns and walks away as Kristin Wallace makes a sad face and walks off in the other direction. We cut back to ringside.]
JLT: Tough love from Kaci!
Leah: YAY!
JLT: What?
Leah: Kristin needs a good slap.
Ashley Interviews...
["Wannabe" blares over the arena's sound system and Ashley emerges from
behind the curtain, dressed in denim short shorts and a pink baby doll tee
with "DU" written on it. Her hair is in pigtails. She skips down to the
ring, where her set is being adjusted. She climbs into the ring and takes a
mic.]
Ashley: Hi everyone! Tonight's guest is none other than the seven-foot
wonder...Caitlin Fairchild!
["Beautiful" by Creed hits and Caitlin comes out, her arms raised in the
air. She goes to the ring and climbs in, posing before sitting across from
Ashley. A ref hands her a mic.]
Ashley: Hi Caitlin! Welcome to my show.
Caitlin: A pleasure to be here, Ashley.
Ashley: How do you like it here in DU?
Caitlin: It's another rung in the ladder of success, you know? Just another
path in my career. It's good to be here. The divas are great, I like it
here.
Ashley: Good, good. So...who's your favorite celebrity?
Caitlin: Uh...I don't know...
Ashley: Then who's your favorite boy band?
Caitlin: None, really...who's yours?
Ashley: Hm...I don't know...there's just so many.
[Ashley ponders for a second and then scowls.]
Ashley: I'm the one asking questions here!
Caitlin: Sorry...but it's just that this interview is going nowhere.
Ashley: Your point?
Caitlin: Just ask me more questions about wrestling.
Ashley: What's your favorite move?
Caitlin: Hm...either a pile driver, or a death valley driver.
Ashley: Oh...are those hard to do?
Caitlin: Not really.
Ashley: Are any of them hard?
Caitling: Kind of. Want me to show you an easy one?
Ashley: Sure!
[Caitlin stands and picks Ashley up. She hoists her interviewer in the air
and puts her into an airplane spin. Instead of dropping her on the mat,
Caitlin puts Ashley down.]
Caitlin: That was an airplane spin. Not exactly the hardest move ever, but
it certainly shocks the opponent.
[Ashley reels a little and makes it back to her seat.]
Ashley: Whoa.
Caitlin: Yeah, it's basic, but it's disorienting.
Ashley: Will you show me some of the tougher moves?
Caitlin: I don't want to hurt you...but maybe we can get some footage of a
few of them?
Ashley: Sure, let's get some clips on the video wall.
[The video wall shows a ladder match from Caitlin's days in VSE, where she
knocks her opponent out with a reverse death valley driver onto a steel
chair. The camera goes back to the two women.]
Ashley: Ouch, that looks brutal.
Caitlin: Yeah, that was the night I defeated the VSE World champ, The Dawg.
Good match.
Ashley: Oh?
Caitlin: You could just hear his body give in. It was incredible. It's a
comforting feeling to know that you've put someone in an incredible amount
of pain.
Ashley: ...oh. Yes. Well...I think we're out of time...
[Ashley looks frantically at several crew members who just shrug.]
Caitlin: I do love that pain. It's empowering to hold someone's life in your
hands in the ring. You should consider being a wrestler. We could bulk you
up a bit and you could be a definite powerhouse.
Ashley: This is AShley T. Bopper signing off...see you next week...
[Ashley stands and practically runs out of the ring and into the back.
Caitlin stares into space dreamily, still talking.]
Caitlin: Ahhh, the good old days of wrestling...when injuries were real and
blood flowed like wine...You know, Ashley, you could really do some damage.
What do you say? You could be my protegé. Ashley? ...Ashley?
[Caitlin snaps out of it and looks around for Ashley. She growls and slams
down the mic, leaving the ring in a hurry.]
[Lacy is seen leaving the office of Shane Rockford, she is dressed in her ring attire and has a grin on her face. She shakes her arms in excitement and then walks down the corridor past Star and Razor as the camera then focuses it’s attention on them.]
Star: Rock, paper, scissors?
Razor: I don’t know how to play that game really. I don’t what covers what, what chops up what, it’s complicated. Let’s flip a coin.
Star: Great!
[Star pulls out a coin from her pocket and places it on her finger, she then flips it and it lands as her hand then covers it.]
Razor: Heads you face Kaci, tails I do.
[Star unveils the hand and shows the coin to Razor.]
Razor: Damn it! The coins hate me! But now you get to bring back the Unleashed Champion for us!
Star: I know! But you got a better deal, remember our plan?
Razor: Oh yes I do!
[Star and Razor then high five as we fade out to a commercial.]
[We cut to a limousine which shows Nyssa drinking and pouring champagne and Shane Rockford is next to her in a suit. She offers him some but he refuses and an “Live” image appears as Nyssa winks at the camera and moves near to Shane as the camera goes dead. We cut to Tequila watching backstage with an ice-pack on her head and wide eyes.]
Standard Match
****Coming Soon****
[‘Freak out’ hits the arena as Tara Lee walks to the ring in a long black dress.]
Tara: Baby, Yuku please come here.
JLT: Does she realise Yuku wants to kill her
Tara: Yuku, I know you can hear this. Will you please come here?
Yuku’s climbs into the ring with an evil look.
Tara: You said I had to choose.
Yuku Shiro: That's right....So WHO do you choose?
Tara: I choose YOU!
Tara: What you say now?
Yuku stands there smiling with her arms folded as the crowd erupts. Tara stands there with her arms open waiting to embrace her wife, but Yuku doesn't make a move.
Tara: Yuku... I pick you
Leah: What the hell is that Devil Bitch waiting for?
JLT: Beats me...I thought this was what she wanted.
[Yuku walks up to Tara grabbing her by her face looking into her eyes as the crowd erupts. Yuku looks into her eyes with an intense look as Tara looks at her nervously. Yuku whispers something into Tara's ear causing her eyes to grow wide. Shiro then kisses Tara in front of everyone.]
Leah: Whoa...HLA in the ring....this is what the fans paid for.
JLT: Gross. What did Yuku whisper in her ear? |
