|
Friday August 20th 2004
Shane Rockford: Laura! How nice it is to see you this evening, you’re looking like the usual trash you do. And your boyfriend, or whoever the hell he is, looks like his usual boy band teeny bopper self.
Laura: What the fu-
Shane Rockford: Oh Laura, I wouldn’t interrupt me. I’m your boss. Considering how much I helped you and talked you through Icenique and making things cleaner around here, do you not remember our phone conversation? I said I would take care of it and then I hear about you holding a protest and disrupting my show!
[Laura looks at Austin and rolls her eyes.]
Shane Rockford: So because of that, I’ve decided to ban you from the arena tonight. So if you and your little boy toy here want to try and assault Icenique before your match at the pay per view, then I’m afraid that’s not going to happen. I tell people, don’t walk over me, listen to me, but what do they do? Disobey me. You only have yourself to blame Laura.
[Shane turns as Austin tries to go for him but his bodyguards interrupt and the DU President walks into the arena. Laura then mutters.]
Laura: That son of a b*tch!
[The traditional opening begins for Exile as the haunting ballad of “Unintended” by Muse fits the haunted opening featuring scary shots of Lilith, Yuku Shiro and Mya which are sure to give young children tuning in hoping to see a re-run of a cartoon, nightmares forever. We cut into the arena where green, black and grey pyros represent the colours of Exile’s “flag”.]
[“Baby Phoney Persian!” “Dana Dameson Rocks My World!” and “I need Razor to trim my wood” are some of the suggestive signs from the audience which have been translated into English at the bottom of the screen. We cut to the announcer’s table where Leah has two chopsticks hanging from her nose, JLT looks at her and rolls her eyes.]
JLT: Welcome everyone to another edition of Exile! We’ve coming at you live from Kyoto, Japan with an electric crowd just waiting to get their hands on tonight’s shocking megawatt action! I’m Jamie L. Tyland, and I’m joined as always by the indescribable Leah.
Leah: Yes, I actually get to do an introduction this week. This is our final Exile in Japan, it’s the penultimate date before Massacre in the Orient and boy are we excited! We’ve got a fabulous card for you tonight featuring the top stars Divas Unleashed has to offer.
JLT: Yes, that’s right Leah. Good girl. Our main event sees a match fit for a grandstand as Caitlin Fairchild, Mya and Icenique all collide in a triple threat match. We just learnt Laura was banned from the arena so Icenique can rest easy! Caitlin Fairchild still is hunting for Lilith’s blood and Mya hopes to prevent that as the Demon Goddess prepares for her biggest match to date!
Leah: Yes, that will be in nine days time but tonight Lilith takes on Azrael in singles action. Azrael hopes to win the Tag Titles on Sunday 29th, and Lilith hopes to win the Unleashed. Isn’t that fitting? In yet another stable-war encounter tonight as The Occult battles Dark Inferno.
JLT: Yep and teams are a focus of our show because the friendship-fading Bod Squad take on Star and Razor who are now going by the name of ‘Natural Born Killers’. Razor will hope to dig in her blades and leave an everlasting mark on the media girls to aid Star in victory at the pay per view. See, teamwork is the key in tonight’s show!
Leah: Lauren Langley and Erica Lopez team up to take on reigning tag champions Pain and Pleasure! With bondage, whips and Sexy Amanda being a dominatrix behind closed doors, well, in my opinion. They get to take on another person who likes to dress-up in the form of Lauren and her once baby-sitter Erica! Ta-da!
JLT: Chester McNugget sees his first in-ring action in DU when he teams with his girlfriend Mystika to take on new divas Xara Xenia Xenos and Kennedy in tag team action. After X walked out on Mystika last week and cost her the match, will she be able to co-exist with Kennedy?
Leah: We’ll have to find out. We have singles action as Bloo takes on Athena ahead of their gauntlet and a debutants match between Candy and Keiko “The Dragon”. Lilith is on Ashley and we have an excellent show for you!
[In the parking area a limousine pulls up and out from it steps Kaci Russell handcuffed to a guard. She walks past Laura who is gathering people and they are writing on signs and struts into the arena with a smirk on her face.]
[The camera cuts away from the arena to the dressing room door of current Askai Champion, Athena. Stepping into view is a Diva not seen for quite a bit.]
[Summer Sanders.]
[She taps on the door and listens for a response, after a moment of silence she quietly opens the door and steps inside. After a few quick moments, Summer reappears with the Askai belt in hand.]
Summer: Look at what I got. Look at what I got. Ha-Ha-HaHa-Ha.
[Loni Persian steps into view and smiles as Summer hands her the Askai belt.]
Loni: You little thief.
Summer: Hey! You were the one who said go in there and get it.
Loni: True, but you are still a thief. Come on let’s go.
Summer: But why did you want the belt?
Loni: I believe it is not only time for me to come back from my……
[Loni glances down at her heavily taped wrist.]
Loni: My little accident, but I think it is time I finally made an impact. Let’s go.
[Summer and Loni walk away as the camera cuts back to the arena.]
Debutants Match
***Coming Soon***
[Reiko Hinamoto is backstage when Bloo suddenly comes from behind with a blue piece of wood. She slams it into her back at the Japanese diva hits the floor, Bloo then begins to stomp on her when the lights suddenly go out and resume seconds later seeing Reiko drenched in blue liquid and writhing in pain.]
[We then cut to Krysta Taylor standing with Yuku Shiro.]
Krysta Taylor: I’m backstage with Lady Devil Fist: Yuku Shiro, it’s a rare moment to actually get her to agree to express her views. But Yuku, what are your thoughts heading into Massacre in the Orient and taking on four other women for the Unleashed championship?
Yuku Shiro: My thoughts are with the odds lessoned...it's going to be near impossible for the so-called Unleashed Champ to weasel her way out with the title this time...that belt was mine at Demonology, and it's going to be mine at Massacre of the Orient, and nothing..not her, or two other pack rats are going to do anything to stop me.
Krysta Taylor: While I have you with me, and I know everybody wants to hear about this, what happened with Tara in the ring last week?
Yuku Shiro: (Smiles.) Nothing but her realizing that she's giving up a good thing in me, and now I have to re-educated her...now she must earn the right to be with me...now...how she choose to do that...you'll soon find out. (Smiles deeply.) But then again...some of it you won't find out...you know...for FCC purposes.
Krysta Taylor: Okay, better keep that to yourself then. I’m not getting sued again. So what are your words to the people in the ring with you on Sunday? You’ve got Kaci Russell defending, her partner Katrina, their rivals Star and also the mother Lilith. Any final words on them?
Yuku Shiro: Yeah...I got a couple...to Lilith...you maybe the so-called Goddess of Hades, or whatever gutter you dragged your wretched hide from, but in that ring I rule bitch, and like at Demonology you're going to find that painfully clear when I send you back down to hell where you belong...there's only room for one Queen Demon Bitch...and THAT'S me...as for Katrina...did you learn from last time Hamburgulars don't win big titles...the only thing that you're going to win is a chance to have a matching nose like your pathetic husband after I'm done breaking yours...after for Star all I have to say to you is that your era is over, done, finished it's time for you to accept the fact that your sunset is forever, and in its place this the eclipsing Inferno I intend to spread upon DU...at Massacre of the Orient you will not only see your chances of regaining the DU title dashed away, but you will befored to kneel before the true and rightful champion...me.
Yuku Shiro: And as for Kaci Russell, what more can I say about you...I've beaten you over, and over, and over again, and at Demonology you stole the Divas Unleashed title from me, and that crime deserves the highest punishment, which I plan to deal to you in spades. Not only will you have the shortest title reign here in Divas Unleashed, but a crippling one, as I plan to put you out of commission permenantly. At Massacre of the Orient it's going to be not just a Massacre, but a slaughter, a blood bath, and an annihilation of the Divas Unleashed Champion Kaci Russell at the hands of the Destined Champ Yuku Shiro, and after I crush you like the BITCH that you are, when you're laying in a pool of your own blood with one eye barely open looking up at me...you will know not to ever...ever challenge me...AGAIN.
Krysta Taylor: Yuku, thank you! Back to you lesbians at ringside!
Standard Match
JLT: Bitch!
Leah: Jamie! You said a swear!
[ Athena steps onto the apron, turning and gesturing one last time to the crowd. As her back is turned, Bloo lunges at her, knocking her off the apron with a hard hit to Athena’s head! Athena falls to the floor and Bloo climbs out of the ring after her, kicking her while she is down. Bloo grabs her in a waistlock, lifting her to her feet, apparently going for a German suplex, but she can’t get Athena up, who struggles against her, before breaking her grip, and twisting around her, grabbing her and throwing her down to the ground with a vicious chokeslam. Athena locks Bloo in a headlock on the ground, but Bloo tries her hardest to power up to her feet. Athena backs up, ramming Bloo’s head into the ring apron, and sending her back down!!! ]
[ Athena takes advantage of Bloo’s pain, whipping her into the steel steps. Bloo hits the with a sickening clang, and isn’t given a second to recover, before Athena is back on her, lifting her and ramming her head into the steps. Athena rolls Bloo back into the ring, and reaches under the ring, rooting around, before picking up a chair and climbing back into the ring.]
[ The referee gets in the way, keeping Athena from using the chair, but with the distraction, Bloo recovers, blasting the chair into Athena's face with a perfect dropkick. The chair falls to the mat, as Athena drops to her knees, holding her face. Bloo takes advantage by grabbing Athena by the head and dropping her to the mat sheadfirst in a DDT. But before she can react, Athena quickly goes into action and picks Bloo up in a powerbomb, despite her bloody face!!! She then throws Bloo down with such force, that she goes through the RING CANVAS!!!! The crowd looked on absolutely shocked as the referee checks Bloo's fallen body, and then gives the match to Athena through count-out!!! ]
JLT: Oh. My. God.
Leah: Ugh, that means we’ll have to go backstage and then for ten minutes of adverts while we repair the ring! Bloo! You’re such a pain in the ass!
JLT: I’m sure she’s in plenty of pain! It looks like she won’t be able to compete in the gauntlet!
[The camera cuts backstage parking area as Athena storms past the production van, looking thoroughly agitated that her Askai Title is missing. As Athena storms off into the direction of the dressing rooms, Loni and Summer step from behind a parked car.]
Loni: Oh Atheeennnnaaaa.
[Athena stops and turns around, staring in disbelief. Not at Loni and Summer, but at the Askai Title across Loni's shoulder. Loni slowly strides slowly over towards Athena and slides the belt off of her shoulder and stares absently at it. Folding the straps under, Loni hands the belt to Athena who snatches it away from her. Summer walks beside Loni.]
Loni: Don't worry, I wasn't planning on keeping it forever.
Summer: Yeah.
Loni: I just thought you should no just how easy it is to lose something special.
Summer: Yeah, special.
Loni: Even something as easy as your precious Askai Title.
Summer: Yeah, your Askai.....
Loni: Summer shut-up!
Summer: What? I was trying to build the mood you know. Emphasize what you were saying.
Loni: Ya-eeeaaaahhh. You sound more like one of those stool pigeons in a bad gangster movie. You know the ones who always get shot in the end.
Summer: Oh.
Loni: Now as I was saying to you Athena. I........
[Loni glances over her shoulder to make sure Summer isn't going to parrot her.]
Loni: I wanted you to know, that you have something that I want and come hook, crook, or a 1,2, and 3. I will get it. You can count on it. Let's go Summer.
[Loni walks away with Athena glaring at her back, Summer steps in front of Athena and catches her attention.]
Summer: Yeah.
[Athena draws back for a punch, but Summer quickly scurries off next to Loni. The camera focuses on Athena's face etched with anger and then cuts back to the arena.]
[Mystika and Chester are seen walking backstage. Krysta Taylor approaches them with her shirt unbuttoned, a smile on her face and a microphone in her hand. Mystika shoves her out of the way as she and oddball boyfriend Chester stand near and begin to talk.]
Mystika: Chester, I know you’re nervous about our match. But I have trust that you and I will work as a team, did you see what X did last week? She doesn’t know what team-work means. That way we’re going to be victorious tonight and we can go to the spa again, if they let us back in.
Chester McNugget: Shh! The government could be listening…
[Mystika sighs when suddenly from behind comes Xara Xenia Xenos with a chair to the back of Chester, Xara then points to Mystika and shouts “Your next!” before running to the ring. Mystika kneels down to tend to Chester.]
-Commercial Break-
January…February…March…April…May…June…July…August.
The diva will reign supreme.
For 30 days.
For 720 hours.
For 12, 0000 seconds.
For 1 month.
Diva of the Month will be unveiled. September’s Queen will be crowned.
Presented by the Fook Twins.
Diva of the Month September. Massacre in the Orient 2004.
Standard Match
JLT: We just saw Chester attacked by xXx backstage. Chester is able to compete but that has riled up Mystika who is in the ring right now with Chester as she wants to get this started as soon as possible!
Leah: Waste of energy in my opinion. What can Chester do, I mean really, he’s such a dumbass.
[Mystika and Chester McNugget are in the ring. Chester stands on the outside as Mystika smiles as “Heaven’s A Lie” by Lacuna Coil and Kennedy walks out shortly followed by Xara Xenia Xenos behind. Mystika then slides out of the ring and prompts X to run down the aisle, Mystika slides back into the ring and out the other side as X stops and laughs to herself.]
Leah: I wasn’t aware we were running the women’s metres. I know Japan won the marathon but come on!
[Kennedy enters the ring as X climbs onto the apron, Mystika slides back in and the referee calls for the bell. Kennedy ties up with Mystika locking her into a headlock, Kennedy then runs to the ropes and Mystika pushes her away and counters with a Japanese arm drag which gets a small pop. Kennedy then heads toward Mystika but she catches her off guard with a drop toe hold.]
[Kennedy gets to her feet and attacks Mystika with some punches to the face before whipping her to the ropes, Xara kicks her in the back slowing her down greatly as Kennedy executes a Samoan drop to Mystika as Chester complains to the referee. Kennedy finds her feet and picks up Mystika whipping her to the corner, tagging in X. Xara and Kennedy then double team Mystika slamming her into the canvas with a double suplex. X then kicks Mystika’s head before dropping and applying a naked choke, the referee tries to pull xXx off but finds it hard so gives her to the count. 1…2…3…4…X released the hold at the last second and pulls Mystika to her feet flipping her onto her butt and kicking her in the back.]
[X pulls Mystika to her feet and whips her to the ropes executing a powerslam on the return and covering. Xara only gets a two count and pulls the lady from Death Valley to her feet, X then kicks her in the mid-section and executes a flowing DDT. X then accidently trips backwards hitting the referee in the face sending him down, X gets to her feet and looks on in mock shock. She then suddenly turns and spits blue mist into the face of Chester who falls from the ring caught off guard.]
JLT: Where the hell did that come from?
Leah: Maybe she has a rare medical condition? Kind of the like Linda Blair in the Exorcist!
[Xara then walks to the corner and takes of the padding on the top buckle. She then pulls Mystika to her feet and whips her to the corner but Mystika counters sending xXx into it. Mystika then clotheslines X down, Kennedy enters the ring and Mystika tries to clothesline her but she ducks but Mystika nails a mule kick to her face sending her down. Mystika then heads to her corner and stops to find Chester’s face drenched in blue. This distraction allows X to come from behind pulling on her hair as she and Kennedy execute a spike piledriver.]
[The referee finds his feet and X tells them they made a tag so he allows Kennedy to remain in the ring. Kennedy picks up Mystika and whips her to the ropes attacking her with a shoulder block on the rebound, Kennedy then runs to the top rope and positions herself but Chester shakes the ropes near her making her fall down onto her groin.]
JLT: Xara is such a cheater, it’s good to see them get a taste of their own medicine!
[Mystika climbs onto the top rope and executes a superplex driving Kennedy into the canvas. The two divas lie as the fans begin to clap as each team crawls to their corner, Mystika gets to Chester first as the fans cheer. Xara leaps from the top rope into the ring but Chester clotheslines her into the canvas. Xara gets back up and is found downed once again by McNugget and his steal arms. Chester then picks up Xara lifting her above his head and chucks her from the ring onto the outside.]
[Chester then walks up to Kennedy grabbing her by the hair and pulling her into the ring by it, he holds her hanging by her hair as Mystika smirks. Mystika then launches into her gymnastic superkick “Kiss of Death” finisher making Kennedy hit the ropes and land on her front.]
JLT: Mystika is on fine form tonight! She’s getting revenge!
[Xara crawls back into the ring and low blows Chester while the referee isn’t looking, she then does it three more times to make sure. The referee then pushes Mystika out of the ring but she protests and then eventually grabs him into a kiss. Xara drags her opponent of to the corner. Climbing to the top turnbuckle she drags her opponent up with her. Using her strength she lifts her opponent into a Gorilla Press and launches them into the ring. Which is about a 13 foot drop.]
Leah: Whoa! Look at the strength of Xara Xenia Xenos!
[Kennedy then finds her feet and clotheslines Mystika over the top rope before she launches onto her with a somersault. The referee then sees X leap from the top rope with a body splash and cover.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
Krysta Taylor: Here are your winners…XARA XENIA XENOS AND KENNEDY!!!
[X gets up with a smirk on her face as Kennedy slides back into the ring. She and X shake hands and raise each other’s arms as Chester is pulled out of the ring by Mystika who then grabs a microphone.]
Mystika: Xara! xXx! X! Cheater! Whatever the hell you’re called! This isn’t over, at Massacre in the Orient it’s going to be you and me in a singles match! No disqualification! If you think you’re the only one who can cheat around here then you’re wrong!
[Mystika shoves the microphone down into the floor making a large crack sound as Xara has a huge smile on her face, she points to Mystika and the two stare each other down.]
[Backstage Lauren Langley is seen with Erica Lopez standing in Shane Rockford’s office. Lauren has a doll in her hands but Erica ‘The Hammer’ Lopez addresses Shane who sits at his desk.]
Erica Lopez: Shane, last week Lauren was almost intentionally hit by a car. So before we sue your ass for compensation, we decided it would be best if we could to a deal ourselves. If you grant us a little something, we won’t sue.
Shane Rockford: Fine, what is it?
[The camera cuts away as Erica and Lauren look at each other smiling. Elsewhere we cut to the ring where Nyssa is standing dressed casually with a microphone in her hands, the Japanese crowd gives her a mixed reaction.]
Nyssa: As many of you didn’t see last week. I was having a meeting with Shane Rockford in his limousine to discuss our daughter, when the dumb Asian driver decided to press some buttons, lock us in the limo and give us a tour of the crap that is Saitama!
[“Shape” by the Sugababes play as Tequila runs down the aisle and slides into the ring spearing Nyssa to the canvas. Tequila begins to slap Nyssa as the two begin to roll around on the canvas, security runs to the ring and pulls the buxom blonde off the Cuban cutie. Tequila is the handed a microphone as security stand between both women.]
Tequila: You know what Nyssa! I’m tired of your horseshit! At Massacre in the Orient I’m proposing a match! I’m tired of being branded dumb and a slut so I’m going to prove it to you that you shouldn’t underestimate me! If I win our match at the pay per view, then you must retire from wrestling forever!
[Nyssa smiles and Tequila frowns.]
Tequila: And hand over full custody to me and Shane for his daughter you stupid whore!
Nyssa: Oh you think you can make all this demands and I’m going to be scared sweetie! No, you’re very wrong there! If I, ME! If I win the match then you have to pay two million dollars in child support and abandon all power you have in Divas Unleashed!
Tequila: Sounds good to me!
[Tequila then lunges at Nyssa but the security hoists her out of the ring as Nyssa stands annoyed as she watches her rival being carried up the ramp.]
JLT: So the claws are out and have sunken themselves into some very high stake stipulations!
Leah: Tequila’s dumb but I know she’ll regret this decision, as will Nyssa. Both are caught up in the anger, but the match has been signed for Massacre in the Orient! We have Nyssa versus Tequila and I can’t wait.
Tag Team Match
JLT: We have Erica and Lauren taking on Hope and Faith next, but we just saw Erica proposing something with Shane Rockford and I’m wondering if we’ll find out what that was tonight!
Leah: I hope so! As when else can she say it?
JLT: Loads of other places?
Leah: I hate you!
[“I’m A Slave 4 U” plays as Sexy Amanda walks out with Hope and Faith, walking to the ring and stepping in with them on leads chained to dog collars. Sexy Amanda then unchains them as they try to kiss her but she pushes them away and pulls out a microphone.]
Sexy Amanda: Considering you two lost your match last week to Lilith and Caitlin Fairchild, by losing you face me for the tag team championships. But considering that it isn’t fair to have a normal match, I’m proposing we repeat history with a mud-wrestling match. Me and Azrael versus Hope and Faith Clarkson, and considering you are my slaves. It’s mandatory. I-
[Erica Lopez’s music hits as she walks out onto the stage with a smirk on her face with Lauren Langley at her side.]
Erica Lopez: Wow, that sounds so boring Amanda. When I take on Jade for the Rockford State Championship, it’s going to be a Japanese school girl match. Me and Jade will be tied at the head by one of our pigtails and wrestle each other, but I can’t wait to beat the crap out of the lesbian nymphs in the ring right now!
[Erica drops the microphone as the boxer and teenager run towards the ring. Hope and Faith get ready as Erica slides in first, the champions try to double clothesline but Erica ducks hitting the ropes and leaping back with a double clothesline of her own. Sexy Amanda joins the commentary team.]
Sexy Amanda: Oh dear, my poor slaves. I can’t wait to see them get their asses kicked, loosen them up before I steal their titles.
Leah: Hey Amanda! I love you so much! You’re my favourite wrestler! You’re just awesome!
JLT: Ugh, kiss ass!
[Lauren grabs Faith from behind and whips her to the corner following it up by a clothesline and then bulldogging her to the centre of the ring. Lauren gets to her feet when Hope flattens her with a clothesline, Erica comes from behind with a sleeper hold but Hope leans forward sending her over and then kicks her out of the ring. Faith also rolls out of the ring. Hope brings Erica to her feet and nails some uppercuts before applying a headlock, Erica shoves Hope to the ropes but Hope comes back with a spear. Erica manages to fit her way back to the ropes with some harsh right hands. Hope gets up and stares at Amanda before tagging in Faith.]
Sexy Amanda: What’s she looking at me for? I’m not going to help her win.
Leah: No, because you’re too fabulous. Just sit there, you look amazing.
JLT: Oh seriously.
Leah: What? Jamie? What! Don’t be acting because you’re jealous of our guest, I know I am.
Sexy Amanda: Thank you Leah.
Leah: My pleasure. And may I add that you should have totally dethroned that skank Britney Spears as FHM’s sexiest woman. As you are truly gorgeous. Amazing beauty.
[Sexy Amanda is seen smirking as Faith and Hope double kick Erica and suplex her into the canvas. They then pull her to her feet as Hope hoists her high above her head and then drops her onto Faith’s knee. Faith then begins her up and pulls her up into a full nelson and slams her into the canvas, Faith then begins to stomp on her. Faith the kneels down and puts Erica in a front face lock before climbing onto her back and putting her in an armbar.]
[Lauren Langley heads into the ring and kicks the back of Faith’s head, Faith gets off her cover and turns around when Lauren flattens her with a spinning heel kick. Lauren picks her up and executes a powerbomb onto her when Hope Clarkson leaps from the top rope onto her and Erica with a cross body.]
JLT: Why can’t we employ better referees to keep control of these matches! |
