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Friday August 6th 2004
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: Are you sure I did the right thing? I’m not. I feel like I’ve cheated her or something. I don’t want to fall out with her on this! It’s not fair! We’ve been friends for so long now!
[Tequila spits out her pink bubble gum and it lands on the roof of a sports car they are standing next to.]
Tequila: I think you are. Look at me. Shane has dabbed his nib into loads of ink pots yet am I mad? No! You have to take life lightly! You can’t worry sweetie, you’ll get wrinkle lines! We can’t have that now in your condition.
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: I know, I’m so happy I’m pregnant.
Tequila: I meant ginger but whatever.
[Emerald buts in.]
Emerald O’Connor: Well how about you judge how she reacts to what you’ve done, and then go from there. There are ways out of this, there are loopholes you know. Anyway let’s head into the arena, the shows about to start.
[Kristin nods and follows Emerald. Tequila walks along with her handbag making a loud screeching noise along the sports car next to them, Emerald jumps around and sees Tequila has her keys pointing outwards and has scratched half the paint off this expensive car.]
Emerald O’Connor: Tequila! You dumb idiot!
[The credits begin to roll for the new show as “Unintended” by Muse plays and we see the now traditional opening for Exile as the international show begins it broadcast. In the arena fireworks and pyrotechnics wow the Japanese crowd who are probably seeing their first wrestling show in the mountainous town of Kinki. In the arena the fans have red and black letters of the Japanese alphabet and numbers like “1, 2, 3” in a row but mainly unidentifiable. We cut to JLT and Leah at the commentary table.]
Leah: I just noticed, everyone in this country hardly has a clue what we’re saying! I can make fun of them and won’t have a clue! Learn how to drive you stupid Asians!
JLT: Leah, they have subtitles. On the video wall and at home, so they are probably ready to pound on your right about now. On a happier note welcome to Exile everybody coming to you live from the region of Kinki, Japan! Yes, it does exist!
Leah: [giggles] Kinki. God what a name, I swear I knew the Japanese were funny but not that funny! Anyway I’m going off the script, tonight we have a whole host of great matches for you! I’m particularly looking forward to the main event where Mystika and Laura team up to battle Katrina and Icenique and after last week’s golden showers slash poop fest, I’ve bought myself a plastic wet-suit just to be safe.
JLT: That should be an interesting match. We also have another tag team match when current tag team champions take on Caitlin Fairchild and Lilith of all teams. Pain and Pleasure are in the slavery of Sexy Amanda too, which you could say was “Kinki”.
Leah: Touché. Erica Lopez challenges Razor for her contender ship over the Rockford State championship in singles action later on tonight. Last week they fought in a four-way but that wasn’t enough as Erica felt cheated, now they fight once again this week and remember dearest viewers, these two claim to be friends.
JLT: Speaking of our Rockford Champion, Jade takes on Reiko Hinamoto in singles action hoping to test if Reiko is worthy of joining Dark Inferno. Dana Dameson and Lacy go one on one and we also have a triple threat debutants match to start the show with.
Leah: I can’t wait to see all the new divas all sweaty and nervous, speaking of which, spotty and needing Ashley T. Bopper is in action trying to tackle Kaci Russell on her new show, which is blandly called “Ashley Interviews”! Don’t miss it.
[Krysta stands in the ring with the spotlight on her while the crowd cheers. She smiles and waves before putting the microphone to her lips. The video wall comes to life as the fans give a mixed reaction to see Nyssa sitting with the background of Miami with a smirk on her face.]
Krysta Taylor: Joining us live from Miami is Nyssa, hello Nyssa!
Nyssa: Hello Krysta it would say its nice to have you here in my home but then I'd by lying
Krysta Taylor: Okay then, moving on to my first question, what were you doing here last week?
Nyssa: I was there for one reason and one reason only, as you know when I joined DU I became involved with Shane Rockford I used him to get what I want like I did every other man in my life. Anyway this lead to me becoming pregnant and so I brought Shane’s daughter to meet her daddy.
Krysta Taylor: I’m sure that’s a lie. So you’re saying that you’ve had Shane’s baby in only two months? Is that possible? Surely you weren’t wrestling when you pregnant?
Nyssa: no I had Shane’s baby in nine months you stupid bitch, When Nyssa became masked it wasn't me wrestling I medically able to so I got someone to fill in
Krysta Taylor: So who was it?! Surely that’s illegal.
Nyssa: How is it illegal? I mean with half the things that go on in this federation I'm surprised more of us aren’t like Kaci and to answer your question my sister Vittoria wrestled she was the one who had the buried alive match with Yuku Shiro while I sat in Miami 8 months pregnant
Krysta Taylor: Okay. Don’t be so moody. So let me go back to my original question, you being out for almost a year, why did you decide now was the right time to come back and basically try to ruin Shane’s relationship with Tequila?
Nyssa: Simple Tequila is a bitch but she loves Shane and I thought what would hurt Shane more than having his precious Tequila mad at him.
Krysta Taylor: Will we see you again in DU? Or was it one of those “look what you can’t have” visits?
Nyssa: That is all up to Shane isn’t it but personally look to be seeing me sooner rather than later cause I got some unfinished business.
Krysta Taylor: On that Nyssa, I’ll say thank you for joining us.
Nyssa: Yeah, whatever, get the f*ck out of my face!
[The video wall goes black as Krysta exits the ring and struts up the aisle, we cut to JLT and Leah.]
JLT: Nyssa’s so lady-like, don’t you think?
Leah: She need’s a good slap.
Debutants Match
[From the ring we cut backstage to see Krysta Taylor standing with a black eye from last week’s assault and a smirk on her face as she holds the microphone close to her. She smiles as Jade stands next to her with her title belt around her waist. Sakura stands next to her and Jade stands in her kimono ahead of her wrestling match.]
Krysta Taylor: I’m backstage with Rockford State Champion Jade and some woman who nobody really cares about, at least not I anyway. Oh wait, my producer’s telling me it’s Sakura! I’m sorry! I think Hope Clarkson burst out some braincells last week. Anyway, Jade, why did you request a match with Reiko Hinamoto?
Jade: Krysta you’re bad at your job. I picked Reiko take on because she is a youthful new athlete who I thought is a good addition to DU. She would also be a good addition to Dark Inferno, our stable.
Sakura: Yes, Kristin. She will be a great addition. I don’t think we need to explain ourselves to you either, for all I know this could be a set-up by you and your Playmates. You can watch and drool on the monitor as we’re heading to the ring.
[Jade and Sakura walk off as Krysta shrugs, we cut to the corner where Mya is standing with a smug look on her face as she watches the Japanese lesbians walk past. The shadow falls over her making her concealed as she walks back into the shadows and darkness.]
JLT: I wonder what Mya’s up to?
Standard Match
[ "Tank" by Yoko Kanno begins to play.The lights dim and replaced with green lighting. "Alright it's time to blow this scene. Everyone get your stuff together. 1,2,3 GO!" Jade walks down to the ring in her green kimono. Then strips it off in the center of the ring. Revelaing her sexy outfit. ]
[ M1A1 blasts over the P.A. system as the crowd jumps to their feet. A Japanese flag is shown on the video screen, and a quick explosion of fire comes off the stage. Reiko comes out onto the stage and the crowd marks out to another fire explosion. Reiko walks to the ring, not looking away from the ring ahead of her. She jumps onto the ring apron, and quickly climbs in. ]
[ As Reiko slides into the ring, Jade immediately begins stomping on her. The referee separates the two and Reiko gets to her feet. The referee charges Reiko, and Reiko takes her down with a drop-toe hold. Reiko immediately jumps to her feet and is quickly followed by Jade. Reiko delivers a quick kick to the midsection and delivers a quick piledriver. Reiko goes for the pin and the ref begins the count: 1...Jade powers out of the pin. ]
[ Jade gets to his feet first and lifts Reiko up. she presses Reiko over his head and tosses her to the ground. Then locks in Jade Lock. Reiko writhes in pain stretches for the ropes. After several seconds, Reiko manages to reach the ropes. Jade gets to his and stands, waiting for Reiko. Just as Reiko struggles to her feet, Jade positions himself in front of her, then kick...wham...a DDT! With Reiko on the ground, Jade mounts the nearest turnbuckle. she leaps off with a top-rope elbow drop, but Reiko rolls away and she gets nothing but mat. Reiko gets to her feet as Jade lays on the ground in pain. She climbs to the top of the nearest turnbuckle, then comes off the top with a frog splash and holds on for the pin. The referee begins the count: 1...2...Jade gets the shoulder up. ]
[ Jade pulls Reiko up and hooks her for a suplex, but she counters with a few shots the stomach followed by a powerful short clothesline. Reiko smirks as she folds the ladder up and lays it on the mat, she then forces Jade up, setting her up for a power bomb. Reiko then lifts her up, holds her...THUNDER FIRE POWER BOMB! Jade's back dents the rungs of the ladder, the fans flinch at the noise. Reiko grins once again, and calls for the move one more time. she gets Jade in position...she's up...but Jade begins flailing about and slides down Reiko's back! Reiko turns around...Portrait of Pain onto the Ladder! The fans roar! Jade slowly moves around on the mat, she makes her way to her feet, she lifts the ladder up as she sets it up underneath the belt once more. She attempts to climb it as she falls to the mat exhausted. ]
[ Jade gets up, Reiko also gets up. Jade begins with hard rights as she takes her over to the nearest corner and sets her up top, preparing for the Death From Above. Jade goes to climb up as well, but Reiko revives and nails her in the face, knocking her off to the mat. Reiko then climbs up to the top, and executes a perfect flying elbow drop! she doesn't go to climb the ladder however, instead she prepares to hit the Shining Wizard and launches off onto Jade with a cover.]
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[3]
[Lacy is seen leaving the office of Shane Rockford, she is dressed in her ring attire and has a grin on her face. She shakes her arms in excitement and then walks down the corridor past Star and Razor as the camera then focuses it’s attention on them.]
Star: Rock, paper, scissors?
Razor: I don’t know how to play that game really. I don’t what covers what, what chops up what, it’s complicated. Let’s flip a coin.
Star: Great!
[Star pulls out a coin from her pocket and places it on her finger, she then flips it and it lands as her hand then covers it.]
Razor: Heads you face Kaci, tails I do.
[Star unveils the hand and shows the coin to Razor.]
Razor: Damn it! The coins hate me! But now you get to bring back the Unleashed Champion for us!
Star: I know! But you got a better deal, remember our plan?
Razor: Oh yes I do!
[Star and Razor then high five as we fade out to a commercial.]
Standard Match
[Dana Dameson stands in the ring ahead of her match, she is in her ring attire with a smile on her face as the short diva waves to the crowd. “Respect” by Aretha Franklin interrupts and Lacy struts out with a smirk on her face.]
Lacy: Dana, I just come back from the president’s office and I decided that because it’s standard matches for everybody tonight, and we are in farmland. I decided that it would be fitting if I, Lacy “Pig” Williams wrestled in a pig sty match. So if you don’t mind following backstage and we cut to a commercial, I’ll show you what I’m talking about.
[The camera pans backstage to a wooden pigpen filled with hay and pig slop and a few Arkansas pigs moving around the pen. The Camera pans up to show Dana and Lacy outside of it both looking disgusted]
[Dana refuses to get in so she tries to fight before entering the ring. She rushes up to Lacy and Jumps her. Lacy begins to try and push Dana off but isn’t successful and rakes Dana in the eyes Lacy gets up and spears Dana into the pig pen with Dana landing hard in the slop Right before lacy land on top...Dana kicks her in the stomach
Lacy stumbles backward Lacy looks pissed and runs at Dana Dana sees her coming and trip her...slamming her to the floor Lacy holds her face slow to rise
Dana rushes to her and slams her head back to the floor Dana then slams herself on top of lacy]
[ Lacy moves outta the way at the last second Lacy trips Dana making her fall forward
Lacy begins to hit Dana's head off the pigpen floor before grabbing a bale of hay Lacy hits Dana over the head with it knocking her to the floor Dana flips over and grabs lacy. They roll around the pen. grabbing and pulling each other hair Lacy pulls a huge lump out and goes for a pin]
1
2
[Dana pulls out and shoves a bunch of hay in her face...covered she punch lacy in the stomach Lacy doubles over Dana start to straggle her but instead goes for the pin]
1
2
[Lacy kicks out at the last second and is completely filthy Dana kneels down and covers lacy face with her mouth and nose with hay she goes for the pin again]
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2
3
[In the parking lot we see Erica “The Hammer” Lopez talking to Lauren Langley. Lauren has changed into casual clothes whereas the boxer Erica remains in her ring attire ahead of her upcoming match.]
Erica Lopez: So did you agree?
Lauren Langley: If we can play dress-up?
Erica Lopez: Yes, we can play dress-up!
Lauren Langley: Then it’s a deal.
[The newcomers shake hands when commotion is heard nearby. A woman is heard shouting as Lauren and Erica walk around the parking lot to find Icenique yelling at her car. Erica taps her on the shoulder she turns around trying to punch but restrains herself.]
Erica Lopez: Are you okay?
Icenique: No! Laura! Look what she did to my car!
[The camera pans to see the scratch mark left earlier by a certain blonde. Icenique then puts her finger to it and kicks the door making a dent.]
Erica Lopez: Don’t damage you’re car, we’ll help you find Laura!
Icenique: Great! Thanks! Let’s go!
[The trio head into the arena before breaking into different directions looking for who they thought was the culprit Laura. We cut back to the announcers table.]
JLT: They’re at it again! I bet Tequila’s locked herself in a dark room now, or is hiding after seeing that.
Leah: Why? Laura did it!
JLT: No she didn’t!
Leah: Yes she did! Icenique said so and that girl is never wrong.
Standard Match
[Razor is backstage holding an ice-pack to her forehead and cursing under her breath at the blondness powers that be. Yuku Shiro smirks and chuckles as Razor walks past her, Razor then stops and turns hitting Yuku in the face with her ice-pack making her hold her head in surprise and then Razor rams her head into the wall several times before kicking her into a locker room. Razor sneers.]
Razor: Welcome to your worst nightmare! You messed with the wrong bitch!
[Razor then pulls the door shut and picks ups a lead pipe and locks the locker room door as Yuku heard screaming muffled threats to Razor as she walks away with a smile on her face.]
JLT: What is it with people getting locked into rooms now? Is there some kind of fetish going on or something? I don’t think Yuku will be able to get out of there judging by that size of the pipe!
Leah: And the innocent bystander who does let her out will be ripped to shreds!
Ashley Interviews...
[The ring is set up in the same pink furnishings. "Wannabe" hits and comes skipping down the ramp. She runs into the ring. She grabs a mic and
squeals into it. The system screeches and the audience covers their ears.
She calms down, smoothing out her pink Backstret Boys shirt.]
Ashley: This is truly an event to remember. I will interview one of the best
and brightest in wrestling. I will interview the sole person to have locked
lips with any of the Backstreet Boys. I will interview the only lady to make
me want to move to America. Ladies and gentlemen....KACI RUSSELL!
["Dumb" by the 411 plays as Kaci and new hubby Wade come down to the ring.
The fans cheer the power couple on. The two climb into the ring and Kaci
hugs Ashley quickly before taking a mic and sitting down. Wade stands behind
his wife.]
Ashley: Oh. My. God. Kaci, you are just so amazing.
Kaci: Haha, aw, thanks!
Ashley: No, really. You are....my hero. You're so pretty and smart and sexy
and you've been with the Backstreet Boys in more ways than one...
Kaci: That was a long time ago, Ash.
Ashley: In my Backstreet Boys fanfiction--it's 28 chapters long and
growing--the girl, Ashley, is a backup dancer for them, and she, like, falls
in love with AJ and then, like, she moves on to the next boy. And then,
like, they kick her out, but she and Howie have this undying love and they,
like, have to sneak around 'cause the other guys hate her.
Kaci: That's...that's nice, Ash. It sounds like a good story.
Ashley: Yeah, it is. Well, that's what my friend from Australia says and
she, like, met Kevin once.
Kaci: Kevin's a sweet guy.
Ashley: Yeah, he, like, totally is. Ohmygod!! I went to a Backstreet Boys
show once and, like, Kevin totally waved at me!
[Ashley squeals and giggle madly. Kaci rolls her eyes and looks back at
Wade, who pats her shoulder encouragingly.]
Kaci: Wow, that's...some story, there, Ash.
Ashley: So, like, tell me. What was it like to be a dancer for BsB?
Kaci: It was okay. But that's a part of my life that's behind me now. I'm
looking to the future, ready for bigger and better things. I mean, I've got
a great husband, the Unleashed title, and a great company to work in!
Ashley: Yeah, sure. But have you ever seen their (giggle) undies?!
Kaci: Uh...yeah. I have. Why?
Ashley: Do they wear boxers or briefs?! TeenBop said they wear boxers and
TigerTeen said they wear briefs, but BopStars said they wear boxer briefs.
[Kaci grits her teeth and scowls, but shakes it off and answers the little
British teeniebopper.]
Kaci: Kevin wears boxer briefs, Nick wears boxers, Brian wears briefs, Howie
wears briefs, and AJ doesn't wear anything, okay?
Ashley: I just KNEW it! That AJ is SUCH a bad boy! So which one's your
favourite?
Kaci: None of them.
Ashley: Oh come on, just pick one!
Kaci: No...I can't pick favorites here, Ashley. I'm married.
Ashley: He won't mind! Pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase, just one?!
Kaci: NO!
Ashley: Come onnnnnnn, pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?!?!
Kaci: Alright fine! I pick Lou Pearlman!
[Ashley stares at Kaci in disgust. Wade starts to laugh hysterically and
then covers his mouth. He walks away from Kaci, trying to stop his guffaw.]
Ashley: Like, ew. Come on, Kaci. You have much better taste than to pick
big, fat, ugly Lou. |
