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Friday March 26th 2004
[The credits roll to Marilyn Manson’s “Like A Virgin” and the divas grace our screen. As that ends we recap of Gabriel getting arrested and Mya setting the mother’s day party on fire before bursting into the arena. The signature pyros explode as the fans rise to their feet jumping up and down from the adrenaline rush.]
[Such signs as “3WL Sucks!” “Katrina – Career Suicide” and “I got Tara pregnant” are caught by the camera while circling around the arena. The sea of multicoloured card bright up the arena until we cut to the announce team.]
JLT: Welcome to another edition of Exile coming at you live tonight from Montana. I’m JLT as always, and I’m joined by Renegade to bring you the finest of commentary for what is expected to be an explosive show.
Renegade: That was a pun if I ever heard one. Last week Mya set fire to party backstage, and we hope everyone is okay but we still don’t know. We’ll find out tonight if anyone did receive any injuries, emotional or physical
JLT: DU will be getting physical with 3WL tonight too. Sarah Stiles challenged Crystal and Kaci to this match where they’ll team with their partner of choice, Bianca. I’m more concerned about where Star’s loyalty lies though, she’s teaming with her 3WL partner Latrisha Lamarte and she’ll be wrestling against us! That match is sure to make history tonight.
Renegade: I want to know what Shane thinks of it, but no doubt we will. Speaking of Shane, he’s shoved Katrina into a match against former Unleashed Champion Mya to see if she can beat a former champion. The Queen of Pain has a lot to prove to be taken seriously by Star.
JLT: Mystika and Laura won in a tag match last week, but now they face off against Pandora and Yuku Shiro. Pandora will challenge Laura for the Askai Championship at Rule Britannia, with Yuku Shiro’s transformation as of late it’d be interesting to see how she fairs as a partner.
Renegade: Dee Snuts and Mystika face off at Rule Britannia, but before then Dee will take on her former rival Tara Lee in singles competition. We learnt that Dee and Joel were an item and saw Tara’s manager Jenna Jameson get attacked last week. Anger-filling from both divas, it should be taken out in the ring.
JLT: We’ve heard that Jenna Jameson won’t be returning again due to that assault. We’ve also got four young hopefuls trying out for a contract as Diamond and Lilith team up against Eva and Selena in our opening bout.
Renegade: Don’t forget Brandy Dahl prays for a successful interview with Crystal, as the Femme Fatale on the Dahl House. Shane Rockford is in the building tonight and 3WL’s Sara is at ringside.
JLT: Only on Exile…
[“Hip Hop Star” by Beyonce plays over the PA system and the fans rise to their feet to give the Unleashed Champion a verbal thrashing. Star walks out in casual attire of a white top and black pants, her championship belt across her shoulder and a smug look resting upon her face. She then raises her belt above her head and laughs as she walks to the ring slowly.]
Renegade: We don’t have to wait for answers after all; Star looks like she’s going to do it right now!
[Star walks down to the ring slapping away some of the fans’ hands who try to grasp her. Star then shoots a look to Sara who smiles and waves at her before climbing into the ring and requesting a microphone. It is obliged and the boos grow louder as the music dies down. Star tries to speak over the crowd but finds herself not heard. The fans finally stop actually wanting to her what their champion has to say after all.]
Star: That’s right, you know you better shut up. I have news, important news and I don’t need your lazy asses screwing up my announcements and air-time. Many of you saw I attacked Crystal with my fellow 3WL members last month, and this was the result of a hard-fought decision I had come to.
Star: In this whole war, invasion, feud, whatever the hell you want to call it between DU and 3WL, I’ve decided that I will be joining 3WL and representing them against the fight against this company.
[The fans then boo loudly again making Star in audible but Sara stands up with a standing ovation applauding Star as a few other closeted 3WL fans do in the arena. Star rolls her eyes and demands the crowd shut up.]
Star: You know I hate this god-damn state! You people jump to judgements too quickly, I have to explain my decision dumbasses. Now Sarah Stiles and I do not see eye to eye and to be perfectly honest, I don’t like her but we’ll have to co-exist tonight. I have my girl Latrisha on my side, and we’re the Platinum Pair of 3WL.
Star: I’m only doing this for two reasons. The first being nobody in DU has any respect for me, they want to see me die to quote a certain media whore so why be in something nobody wants me to be in? Secondly, 3WL is my foremost federation and I want to remain loyal. Like the nice person I am-
[The fans begin to laugh at her comment.]
Star: Get a life!
[Star continues.]
Star: Me and Shane Rockford are still best buddies though. Because I would rather see all the people he and I despise in Divas Unleashed go to a grotty demise. I have the best of both worlds. I’m undefeated in DU so this invasion should be a walk in the park.
[Sara is shown nodding along. “Money, Power, Respect” by Lil’ Kim interrupts as the fans booing changes to cheering for the signature music. From backstage walks Kristin Wallace in a white dress with her hair up in her traditional ponytail, as the superbitch has a microphone in her hand and she seethes at Star in the ring.]
Kristin Wallace: Star, you’re so disloyal! You talk about loyalty? I’m loyal! I’ve stuck by my clients and this federation from the very beginning, in fact, I even bought this federation with your best buddy. But you know, I have no grudge against 3WL, just because they have no imagination and no creativity doesn’t mean they suck? It’s not their fault they employ untalented washed-up pieces of crap like you!
[The fans agree with the Bod Squad manageress’ comments as Star gets angry and drops her title challenging her to come to the ring.]
Kristin Wallace: Star, I’m not as stupid as to come down there and step into the ring with you. I’m not a trained wrestler. But you know you’ve really overlooked myself and Katrina. So much so you have no clue where she is do you?
Star: Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
[Kristin smiles and shakes her head.]
Kristin Wallace: Star dear, you really have no idea how clueless you really are…
[Star rolls her eyes as Sara begins to yell at her. From behind comes Katrina with a clothesline to the back of the head. The Queen of Pain then begins to boot Star before scooping her up and kicks her. Katrina then twists Star into a vetrebreaker for her “Royal Pain” move and slams Star into the canvas. Katrina then stands over Star and slaps her before grabbing her title and leaving the ring with it. Kristin applauds as the Bod Squad head backstage.]
JLT: Do you think Katrina has a habit of stealing titles?
Renegade: She’s a New Yorker, they have their own pick pocketing army. Katrina proved to Star she shouldn’t be underestimated. Star is totally out of it in the ring, did you see that top just ride up when-
JLT: I didn’t, the Queen of Pain also embarrassed Star in front of Sara too. Kristin Wallace is so conniving with the distractions, no wonder all her clients are successful.
[In the ring Star is being helped to her feet by some referees and we see Sara looking concerned. We then fade away to a vignette hyping up Star and Katrina fighting for the Unleashed Championship at Rule Britannia.]
Debutants Tag Team Match
Renegade: We’ve got a tag team match next between four new divas. Selena was scheduled to wrestle last week but Alexandra was a naughty girl and didn’t show up for her match.
[Selena’s music blasts over the PA system sung by Meredith Brooks. Selena runs to the ring in her red,white and blue wrestling attire and then slides under the bottom rope and then jumps up onto the turnbuckles and raises her fist into the air. With Eva following behind.]
John Roe: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a tag team contest, introducing the first team, at combined weight of 278lbs…EVA AND SELENA!!!
["Haunted" by Evanescence plays over the PA system and the arena fades to darkness. A red strobe falls over the stage and Charmion emerges from under the stage and a circle of fire on a crucifix gagged at the mouth and arms. Lilith also comes out of the fire with three husky dogs on one lead. Charmion's limbs are all dressed in black ribbon as Lilith walks to the ring with the three dogs and Charmion following behind.]
John Roe: Introducing their opponents, first from Cherry Falls, Hell, at a weight of 166lbs and to be accompanied to the ring by Charmion. She is…LILITH!!!
[Lilith climbs into the ring as Charmion takes hold of the dogs and the music dies down. The two other divas seem shocked at her appearance, but Eva is shoved forward by Selena. Lilith picks up Eva onto her shoulders and up into the air by her arms, Selena runs towards Lilith but she gets her foot up with a boot to the face.]
[Lilith then drops Eva on her shoulder and thrusts her forward with a body slam. The Divatron then shows Diamond lying on the floor backstage with her hair ruffled and covering in metal equipment. Lilith smirks as she sees the image.]
JLT: I’m guessing Lilith took out her own partner?
[Lilith picks up Eva and tosses her over the top rope as Lilith’s daughter Charmion gives her an evil stare before chasing her around the ring with the dogs. Selena watches as the dogs capture Eva knocking her to the floor as she picks to kick them away. Selena turns to the ring where Lilith claws her face making four scratch marks which then begin to bleed.]
Renegade: Ouch, Lilith has some sharp nails!
[Lilith then kicks Selena in the gut and Lilith gets her opponent into the air with a stalling suplex. When the blood has rushed to the opponent's head enough, Lilith released her hold sending her opponent head first into the canvas as Lilith grabs them on the way down dropping to her knees and forcing the collision of head and canvas. Completing her “Hellish Nightmare” finisher. Lilith then straddles Selena lying forward and chewing on her wrist.]
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[Lilith then manages to draw blood and wipes it on her finger, she then tastes it and looks satisfied. Charmion pulls the dogs off Eva and allows her to slide into the ring away from the morbid group. Lilith then walks up the ramp backstage with the dogs howling behind her.]
Renegade: Is it me or Lilith slightly weird?
JLT: Slightly? I’m sure all the divas are running scared. If I ran into her on a dark alley I’d keep on running!
Renegade: Now backstage we hear that Krysta Taylor is bringing us another exclusive.
Renegade: Now backstage we hear that Krysta Taylor is bringing us another exclusive.
[Backstage we catch Krysta Taylor in a less-revealing top after her breast-baring incident. Her long blonde hair flowing and her fake tan evident as her hands are pale compared to her orange forearms. Next to her stands Dee Snuts who’s in her ring attire, with a smug look on her face. Behind her is Joel, who’s standing over his new girlfriend.]
Krysta Taylor: Thanks, Renegade. I’m standing here with Dee Snuts and Joel. Dee, why did you attack Mystika last week?
Dee Snuts: The biatch has been getting on my nerves. She comes out every week, talking the crap with nothing to back it up. She needs a slap, she blasted me from the beginning and it felt good to whip her ass.
Krysta Taylor: Are you and Joel now an item? Are the rumours true?
Dee Snuts: Don’t you listen to what I say, biatch? Of course we’re an item. We have things in common, mainly getting rid of Mystika. He’s my new manager, yo’ see Mystika don’t want him, but Chester can have her, she’s damaged goods.
Krysta Taylor: So are why are you going after Mystika? Why not let bygones be bygones?
Dee Snuts: That biatch doesn’t deserve that belt. At Rule Britannia me and her are going to face off fair and square. But it ain’t gonna be no ordinary match, no, no, it’s going to be a dog collar match. I’ll parade her around like the dog she is.
Krysta Taylor: Interesting. I think that’s a first. What are your thoughts going into a match against Tara Lee next?
Dee Snuts: That girl has issues. I’m going to make quick work of her though. Mystika better pull up a chair and witness what this Puerto Rican Princess can do!
[Dee Snuts turns and walks away from Krysta who says ‘thanks’ after her. Joel then gives Krysta a look and up down before following after Dee. Krysta Taylor smiles and nods to the camera.]
Krysta Taylor: Back to you Renegade.
Standard Match
Renegade: Thanks Krysta. She is so hot, did I tell you she had the whole package?
JLT: You did, last week, right before you had an orgasm. If you cast your minds back to October you’ll remember the furious feud between Dee Snuts and Tara Lee, and now, they face off once again.
Renegade: Remember that Tara dyed her hair grey last time? That was evil…
[“Bitch” by Meredith Brooks plays as Tara Lee-Shiro runs out to the fans slapping their hands on her way to the ramp. She climbs onto the apron and wiggles her ass before getting into the ring.]
John Roe: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a singles match, introducing from Raleigh, North Carolina, at a weight of 128lbs, the Pure Touch…TARA LEE-SHIRO!!!
[“Fuck Wit D” by DMX plays as Dee Snuts walks out and runs to the ring with Joel following her. She climbs into the ring and kisses Joel before climbing the turnbuckle.]
John Roe: Introducing her opponent, to be accompanied to the ring by Joel, from San Jose, California, at a weight of 109lbs, she is the Puerto Rican Princess…DEE SNUTS!!!
[Dee then sends Joel out of the ring and the referee calls for the bell. The two divas lock up with Dee getting Tara in a headlock but Tara counters and pushes Dee to the ropes. Tara lies on the floor as Dee hops over before Tara changes her position to make her legs monkey flip Dee over her on a rebound from the ropes.]
[Both women get to their feet as Dee spears Tara into a corner and begins with some lefts and rights to her. Dee then props Tara on the top turnbuckle and heads to the opposite corner. She runs at her but Tara counters by leaping off with a Hurricanrana taking Dee down to the canvas.]
[Dee gets up and begins to yell at the referee. Tara comes from behind with a back drop attempt but Dee manages to flip out of it and land on her feet. Tara turns and is met by a spinning heel kick from the Puerto Rican Princess. Dee then scoops up her rival and slams her in front of the turnbuckle, Dee then climbs to the second rope and launches off with a leg drop.]
[Dee then climbs back to her feet with Tara’s hair in her hands. She whips her to the ropes and flapjacks the Pure Touch into the ropes making her guillotine herself, Tara Lee-Shiro then turns and swings at Dee but she ducks and clotheslines Tara over the top rope. Dee then walks over to the referee and begins to flirt with him. Meanwhile on the outside Joel executes a DDT onto the padded floor and rolls Tara back into the ring.]
[Dee finishes her flirting and covers the lesbian.]
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[Tara kicks out as Dee rolls her eyes and picks up Tara; she then tries to powerbomb Lee-Shiro but Tara counters by landing on her feet. Tara then punches Dee across the face which dazes her, Tara then picks her up into a fireman’s carry and begins to spin around with Dee on her shoulders before dropping her on her back. Tara uses to the ropes to steady herself.]
[Tara then runs to the ropes in hopes of using a ground attack but Joel grabs her foot making her fall to her front in the ring. The referee then accuses Joel as Dee makes her way to her feet as does Tara. The two lock up with Dee getting the upper hand and shoving Tara to the corner. Dee then parts Tara’s legs and signals for her signature move “The Kitty Lick Lick”.]
Renegade: We’ve seen this before…
[With the move being illegal Joel climbs onto the apron to distract the referee. Dee gets up a full head of steam and begins to run towards Tara Lee, but Mystika slides into the ring and blasts Dee over the head with her belt sending Dee backflipping from the shot. Mystika then untangles Tara and walks up the ramp with a smile on her face.]
[Tara leg drops Dee and scoops her up. She puts her in a front face lock and executes her “Lee DDT” but manages to keep her lock. She then turns and lifts Tara to her feet. Tara Lee-Shiro then kicks her in the gut and puts her head between her legs.]
JLT: We’ve also seen this before…
[Tara hooks both of Dee’s arm and nails her “Sweetthing” finisher pedigree sending Dee into the canvas. Joel is still talking to the referee so Tara grabs him by the collar and pulls him into a kiss. Joel is shocked and Tara slaps him sending him falling to the floor.]
[Tara then runs and jumps onto a cover.]
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John Roe: Here is your winner…TARA LEE-SHIRO!!!
[Tara gets out of the ring and raises her arms up in the air. Joel climbs back into the ring and holds Dee while swearing. Tara walks up the ramp pleased with her victory, she waves to the fans before disappearing backstage.]
Renegade: Tara picked up the victory tonight. No Jenna though.
JLT: Thanks to Mystika, she got some revenge tonight on Dee. Did you see that belt shot? It was furious!
Renegade: Thanks Krysta. She is so hot, did I tell you she had the whole package?
JLT: You did, last week, right before you had an orgasm. If you cast your minds back to October you’ll remember the furious feud between Dee Snuts and Tara Lee, and now, they face off once again.
[We cut backstage and see Pandora staring upwards at something. We can’t see what exactly due her mask covering her facial expressions. The camera pans in the direction of where the Mystery Within’s head is titled. We see Yuku Shiro sitting on a barge in the ceiling, her legs either side of it with the shadow blocking her crow-looking face. She just stares at the red pole underneath her.]
Pandora: Hey Yuku.
[Yuku doesn’t reply.]
Pandora: I’m Pandora. I’m going to be your partner tonight, I’m looking forward to working with you. It should be great to represent our home country. The Land of the Rising Sun, we’ll show these Americans.
[Yuku still doesn’t reply. Maybe it’s because her jaw is broken or the fact she’s too concentrated on her mind.]
Pandora: So I’ll see you in the ring then.
[Yuku remains silent.]
Pandora: Cool…
[Pandora then walks off shaking her head and muttering “freak” to herself. We then cut to where Laura is watching Pandora on the scream and laughing. Meanwhile Mystika is pacing up and down, she speaks.]
Mystika: Can you believe Dee Snuts? I just hate her! What gives her the right to say who I will defend my title to and in what match! And Joel too, he just can’t leave me alone! Why is it whenever I get something good going it always ends up like this?!
Laura: Don’t worry about that c**t. We need to focus on our match against those bitches tonight. Dee can go f*ck herself and then bite my clit. I have Pandorachu to deal with, that whore’s on crack. It’s f*cked up!
[Suddenly Chester begins to scream as we pan to where Laura’s personal trainer Maurice is beginning to hump his leg with his tongue wagging. Shaneo hides his head down as Laura gets even angrier.]
Laura: Maurice you bastard! Get your f*cking d*ck off the retard! What the f*ck are you doing?! What the hell is wrong with you?!
[Maurice stops and leaps off and composes himself as Laura’s outburst continues.]
Laura: What the f*ck has gotten into you?! That’s it! You’re barred from ringside! I can’t have you screwing up my god-damn partner’s boyfriends, literally. All right you f*ck?
[Mystika looks shocked as her mouth gapes open. Laura then brushes herself down from the outburst and turns to Mystika with a smile on her face. Maurice begins to cry and runs out of the room.]
Mystika: Ohhh…wait, do you have Tourettes?
Laura: No, why?
Mystika: Just wondering.
-Commercial Break-
Tag Team Match
[Back from the commercial break we see Pandora standing in the corner with Yuku Shiro making her entrance. John Roe shouts her name as the fans give her a mixed reaction as she crouches in the corner with her facepaint darkening her under the lights.]
Renegade: We’re back and we’ve got Laura and Mystika teaming up against Pandora and Yuku Shiro. Pandora and Mystika have had quite the history in 3WL, and Laura and Pandora are facing off at the pay per view.
JLT: I’m sure both Laura and Pandora both want to get ahead in their encounter. They’ve worked well as a team before so that gives each other an insight to each other.
[“Party Hard” by Andrew WK blasts into the arena as Laura walks out with her Askai Championship around her waist and Mystika with her Rockford State Championship around hers. Chester and Shaneo stand at their sides. Both divas then undo their belts and hand them to their male counterparts. They then run to the ring.]
[Mystika slides under the bottom rope and heads for Yuku Shiro in the corner launching into her with some punches while Laura and Pandora roll around on the floor with them both trying to get and upper hand. The referee yanks Pandora off of Laura and sends both women to the apron. Mystika and Yuku start it off with Mystika whipping her to the ropes and back body dropping her.]
[Mystika picks up Yuku and nails a neckbreaker to her from behind. Mystika then tags in Laura. Laura and Mystika then grab each other’s arms and clothesline Yuku down to the canvas together. Laura tries to get her in a leg lock but Yuku sends her boot into her face. Yuku then gets to her feet and rushes to the top turnbuckle, she then waits for Laura to turn.]
[When the Queen of Wrestling does Yuku flips into the ring with her “Northern Lights Smash” finisher taking Laura down to the floor. Yuku then gets up and walks out of the ring and up the ramp as Pandora looks confused. Pandora then climbs to the top rope herself and moonsaults onto Laura making a cover.]
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[Mystika comes from behind pulling Pandora off by her foot. Pandora gets up and spears Mystika into the corner. Pandora then begins to thrust her shoulders into Mystika, she then backflips and tries another thrust but Mystika moves allowing Pandora’s shoulder to collide with the ring post. Yuku Shiro has disappeared backstage as it looks like it’s turned into a handicap match.]
[Mystika pulls Laura to her corner. Laura gets up dazed and tags in Mystika who climbs into the ring. Pandora is holding her shoulder and Mystika runs towards her. Pandora counters though and grabs Mystika’s head shoving her over the top rope straight into the ringside companions Shaneo and Chester and they all fall to the floor.]
[Pandora then climbs to the ring apron as all three of them slowly get to their feet. Pandora runs along the apron and flips forward into the threesome sending all of them down once more. Pandora then picks up Mystika and begins to ramp her head into the barricade on the outside. They head over to the commentary table as Laura flies over the top rope with a body splash sending them down to the floor.]
JLT: Bodies are flying everywhere!
[Pandora and Laura then get to their feet. Laura then picks up the ring bell and swears at Pandora, but Pandora manages a dropkick to the bell sending it into Laura’s face and making a ‘ding’ sound. Laura then falls to the floor unconscious. Mystika comes from behind with a shot to the back and pushes her into the apron. Pandora’s head jolts backwards though and collides with Mystika’s.]
[Mystika holds her head as she rests standing in front of the announcers table. Pandora then slides into the ring and runs to the ropes, she bounces back and hops onto the top rope with a springboard flying spear into Mystika. The duo then crash through the announcers table on top of each other as the commentators fall of their chairs too. The referee exits to the outside of the ring and tells John Roe something.]
John Roe: Due both women being counted out and not able to continue, this match is a draw!
[Shaneo then kneels down near Laura and we see Chester McNugget humming the tune of teletubbies while lying on his back. Mystika and Pandora then lay upon the rubble of the demolished table.]
-Rule Britannia Vignette-
[“You Give Love A Bad Name” by Bon Joni plays as Emerald O’Connor walks out in ring attire. She poses to the fans who cheer her and walks to the ring with a focused look on her face, and her blonde hair swaying. She climbs into the ring and waves to the fans.]
Renegade: What is Emerald doing out here? She’s not in action tonight…
JLT: Well she’s getting a microphone. Maybe she wants to wrestle.
[Emerald then speaks into the microphone with the hint of seriousness and anger in her voice.]
Emerald O’Conner: Shane Rockford, you call yourself a boss?! You get your ass down to this ring and pay me the damages from that fire last week! I suffered a burn on my foot! I want my compensation! It’s not my fault if you employ murderous psychos!
[Emerald waits but there is no reply from the ring entrance as the fans agree with the Irish native.]
Emerald O’Conner: Okay, okay! I can understand you don’t want to pay me any money, but you sure as hell owe me an apology! Especially since you issued me a threat too! I could have you arrested if you don’t answer my calls!
[Emerald then lets the microphone rest at her side as she rolls her eyes staring at the entrance-way which has no movement.]
Emerald O’Conner: Come on-
[“The Watchtower” by Cult of Luna plays as Mya walks out and the fans boo her wildly, she walks to the ring quickly with her head downcast. She stomps her way up the steal steps then hopping into the ring. She looks up at Emerald and snatches the microphone from her hand which looks like it hurt the Irish diva.]
Mya: You listen to me Emerald, dear. I have business to attend to, I don’t have a care in the world for that fire. It shows a woman of my calibre should be respected, and I deserve attention. If I don’t get it, I’ll have to make people give it.
[Emerald’s eyebrows raise in a “are you kidding?” look. Mya then turns to the entrance way.]
Mya: Kaci! I know you’re back there! Come out here now so I can give you the ass kicking you deserve! How dare you claim this baby is Gabriel’s! How dare you have my dearest friend arrested! Get your ass out here now!
[Surprisingly “Time Is Running Out” by Muse plays and Kaci’s entrance plays as the fans cheer for the pregnant diva. Kaci walks out in casual attire laughing at Mya in the ring and shaking her head, with her ‘bump’ now more evident. She struts to the ring and climbs into the ring. She is handed a microphone from one of the crew member and her music dies down.]
Kaci: How dare I? I’m shocked I didn’t do it sooner. You’re all alone now Mya. Gabriel’s going to prison I’m certain of it. I mean he drugged and raped me? Serious charges, he’ll be fresh meat for those bears in there. Abandoned again huh Mya?
[Mya then slaps Kaci hard across the face making Kaci hold her face in shock. Mya then shouts in the microphone.]
Mya: You’re a liar! You’re a whore! There is no way that baby is his! You’re a coward too, you had to get your mother to call the cops not you! What kind a woman are you? Plus I know for a fact if you’re keeping the baby it doesn’t qualify as rape. So those charges aren’t so serious honey.
[Kaci looks a little uneasy as she raises her arm and slaps Mya across the face returning the favour. Kaci then snatches the microphone that Mya is holding as the two tycoons come face to face.]
Kaci: Oh Mya! Even if he is my lawyer is one that make sure he is locked up in jail for a very, very, very long time. You’ll be dead before he gets out! But I don’t care about Gabriel! I’ve got bigger fish to fry, and I don’t need some manic depressive has-been trying to get some attention to interfere with my business! Get a life!
[Mya looks shocked and then that turns to very angry. She tosses the microphone to the floor as Kaci removes her jacket and it looks as if the two are about to lock horns and the fans cheer. Emerald still stands in the corner with a smile on her face.]
[Kaci then slaps Mya once more but the Anti-Hero comes off with some punches back to the face backing Kaci up to the ropes. Mya then whips Kaci to the otherside of the ring but before she can meet the ropes she is met by a harsh clothesline from Emerald O’Connor. The fans are stunned and begin to boo as Emerald and Mya begin to pound the pregnant diva with their boots. Emerald then exits to the outside of the ring and grabs a chair.]
JLT: What the hell is this?!
[Mya picks up Kaci and drives her into the canvas with a dangerous DDT making Kaci flip to her back. Emerald then stands over her with the chair in her right hand, she then bring the chair over Kaci’s stomach and begins to thrust it down onto the bump of the pregnant superstar. Mya looks on with a pleased look and even starts to applaud.]
Renegade: Has Emerald joined Shane?!
[Emerald continues with her fury of driven chairshots leaving Kaci rolling in the ring clutching her stomach. Emerald gets up and smiles, she then hugs Mya as Bon Jovi replays and the Emerald Jewel exits the ring smirking from ear to ear.]
JLT: I’m sure that has caused permanent damage to Kaci’s baby, this was just a big set up!
[Paramedics walk to the ring with a stretcher as one of them begins to move Kaci who is still writhing in pain and repeating “oww” over and over again. We cut to a commercial break.]
The Dahl House
Renegade: Ladies and gentlemen, during in the break we saw Kaci being taken away in an ambulance.
[We to a ‘during the break’ segment where we see Crystal looking concerned along with Bianca as they watch their tag partner being hoisted in the ambulance and the doors shutting. The sirens sound and the vehicle drives away.]
Bianca: What are we going to do now?
[Kristin Wallace enters looking happy.]
Kristin: Did you see how great Kaci looked?
Crystal: She was almost dying from pain!
Kristin: Precisely! Oh wait, I better go call Oliver. I need to comfort him, you know, as I’m such a great girlfriend! Yes, I really am a saint.
[Kristin walks away as Bianca rolls her eyes.]
Bianca: That bitch has no idea.
Crystal: I have to go get interviewed, but you start looking for partners! We can’t let 3WL win tonight, especially on our home turf. I’ll be in the ring. Remember, choose wisely.
[In the ring Brandy Dahl is dressed in a white dress and diamond earrings. She is smiling and standing at her usual spot in front of camera C3 like a news reporter or a journalist. “Doll Parts” by Hole plays.]
Brandy Dahl: Now I’m very excited about my next guest! Not only is she content with being a former champion, author, musician, trend-setter, but now she’s going to make history too! She’ll be the first person on my show not to be in any way related to Mystika! So please welcome, the Femme Fatale, Crystal!
[“Brackish” by Kittie plays as the alcoholic makes her way out to the ring rather fast. She climbs into the ring looking up at the ceiling. She shakes Brandy’s hand and takes a seat. She then quickly turns and sticks her tongue at Sara and then turns back with a smug look.]
Brandy Dahl: Crystal, how are you? This is the first time I’ve had you on the show, actually, the first time we’ve met.
Crystal: didn't I raid this wreck before? The awful color tones and that cheap blush look familiar. Oh wait! They told me to be nice! *ah-hem* Sure thing Gin!
Brandy Dahl: Let’s talk about 3WL, everybody is dying to know what’s happening. How do you feel about the attack last week, especially coming from Star? Your old foe?
Crystal: Well... Star's one that has been known to switch personalities quickly. Remember whenever she didn't have what it took as a nice girl to defeat Mya... so then she allied with her? The fact that she attacked me & sided with her old "homies from H-town" isn't surprising. As for the 3WL women... they remind me of ants. They all follow the leader. Kaci & I started a revolution... they follow our lead. Like mindless ants.
[Sara’s eyes narrow at ringside.]
Brandy Dahl: Anyway, you’re in action later and I have a lot to get through. Your book is doing well, how did you get the inspiration to write it?
Crystal: Well... one night I was watching Divas Unleashed esteemed "Profiling" on Mya. It was then that I realised, if Divas Unleashed ever wanted to do a "Profiling" on me, then I would need alot more than a crummy half hour. So one night, I set the alcohol aside, and wrote... and wrote... and wrote... and two days later I had a finished copy & the DU Merch board on the phone.
Brandy Dahl: Are the rumours about you being a lesbian true? You kissed Kaci at the FWA’s, and a lyric in your upcoming album mentions lesbianism? Plus I don’t see any man on your arm.
Crystal: AH! Lesbians! Dear god they are everywhere! I'm going to start an ALA... Anti-Lesbian Association. They are giving a bad name to straight drunken college girls who turn a few tricks for the men's enjoyment... oh wait. I'm a spokesperson for GLAAD too... damn public obligations! ... *ah-hem* Gays are equal parts of the community, and should be granted marriage rights because gay men can do my eyebrows better than I can. As for the Kaci kiss... and the man on my arm...I have to stay single, simply because men in the wrestling world are stuck up air-heads... and Kaci's my lesbian lover on the side whenever the media shifts to Kristin. *gasp* Have you seen Johnny Depps ass? Hot right?
Brandy Dahl: Not really. I think he’s kind of hit the shits recently.
Crystal: Wait... shits... what was I suppose to do? Something with shit. Shits? Shits!!! Holy hell I have an appointment with a potential drunkard! Look Gin! It's a hord of lesbians wanting your sweet ass!
[Crystal suddenly gets up off her chair knocking over the coffee table and scrambling from the ring holding her head. Brandy gets up confused and a large frown upon her face, Crystal runs backstage as Brandy sighs.]
JLT: Another failed interview? How many more can this woman have?
Renegade: I’m sorry but she can’t cut it. I say to get a replacement, though Brandy is kind of cute. Unlike that horse Natalie Hernandez. |
