Friday January 7th 2005
Don Haskins Center, El Paso, Texas

[As we fade in for the first DU show of 2005, we cut to the parking lot of the Don Haskins Center in El Paso, Texas. The cold January air of this hour sweeps through the steel poles and barriers, there are highlights in the distance as a limousine pulls into the parking lot. We've started many Exiles with this mystery.] [The stretched white limousine comes to a halt as the driver steps out in a black chauffeur outfit, he pulls the back door open and out steps Star with her Unleashed Championship upon her shoulder. She smiles and looks around as the fans nearby begin to boo her, Star rolls her eyes and struts into the arena.] [We cut to a vignette which shows the matches from Dead to the World, the title changes and the dilemas put forth during the pay per view. It shows Faith Clarkon shockingly begin handed the Stripped Championship, Jade regaining her Rockford State belt while Diva 69 downing the newly named “Widow Makers”, and of course Star earning her second Unleashed Championship.] [The black and white flashback ends. The beginning of Exile's new introduction begins with the sounds of Muse's “Hysteria” take us into a brand year of DU's mainstream show. We see a flurry of fast-paced, high-flying and powerful-punches before it comes to a close with quick shots of the champions before the Exile logo is impaled onto the screen.] [We cut inside the arena, green and black pyros ignite and set off in an explosion from the top of the videowall and the 'X' entranceway. The fans leap up and cheer in excitement, we pan around the arena and see some of the signs they have made especially for tonight.] [“Bianca Is Hot!”, “Lilith is hot shit” and “Mother dear, I'm not actually your son. I'm a lesbian.” are a few of the supportive, and dellusional signs hosted by the crowd this evening. We cut to JLT and Leah, Leah is dancing her chair.] Leah: I'm a hot chick, you better do me nice and smo- JLT: We're back! Leah: It's a great song? So dirty, like you. Anyway, welcome back to Exile! Yes, it's a brand new year, it's 2004! Damn, I meant to say 2005. I'm still in the habit you know? JLT: This is not starting out too well, I'll take over. Welcome to Exile, we're coming at you live from El Paso, Texas at the beginning of our Texan tour! It's 2005, and we have a mouth-watering line up for you this evening! As we've mentioned, 4 out of 5 of the championships changed hands at Dead to the World so that means we have a lot of drama all rolled over into the cauldron of tonight's show! Leah: Is my singing annoying? Because I don't find it annoying. You can't blame me because Lil' Kim has this nasty, but funky, song can you? Oops, it seems our producer is "this" close to firing us! The drama! We have a great line-up of matches for you, our main event sees brand new Unleashed Champion Star team with the mighty horsepower of Ferrari to take on the very rabid Kaci Russell and slightly freaking-me-out-a-little Indigo! JLT: Kaci has been very rabid recently, I said it before, she's almost animalistic. Indigo is still a power-machine and Star is still as arrogant as ever. I just want to see how Ferrari fairs in the match, she's up against some heavyweights, I hope she doesn't buckle under pressure. Also on tonight's card, we have the match between Felicity and Bianca White which should be a very interesting encounter, that's for sure! I can't wait to see that one, especially since Bianca White and Felicity have dubbed 2005 as "their year"! Leah: Well, we'll see. We have a battle royal match which sees Azrael and Keiko Yoshimato, both oriental, and both Katrina and Laura who are a little crazy, all fight off for the chance to have a shot at a title of their choice. If Keiko wins, that means she and Pain & Pleasure will have a total of four wishes! Now, that's just not fair! JLT: Well, it probably is considering she has to beat three very tough opponents to get a shot? Speaking of shot, or more precisely Bloo and Tina Marie Romero, they'll both be facing off against one another in singles action. Bloo and Tina are both on the rise here, and whoever gets a victory tonight will be sending their 2005 career rolling! Leah: Let's just hope we don't end up getting “Bloobathed” or something. 2004 was not the chance to shine for Kate Sims and Trishelle Bryant after they were the very latter part of the year and were either too late to make an impact or had injuries lurking over their heads. Julie and Jessie seemed to have formed an alliance, not a tag team partnership, but an alliance that has worked well. JLT: That's true. In a submission match, Lilith and Mystika collide once again, to determine which one will be able to tap out to the torture first. I can't wait for this, I want Chester McNugget and Lilith to hook up, wouldn't that be fabulous? Leah: Who are you? Anyway, yeah it should be a great match. You weirdo. Our first match of the evening is a debutants match in which we'll see Alice Malice, Ciara Demillo and Roxy all fight it out in the center of the ring. As it is a new year as we'll talked about to death, one of these three women will get the year into full swing as well as their careers! JLT: Yes, just think any of these women could be the next Hall of Fame member! Ashley is back with the very thought-provoking Laura, that should be a very interesting edition of her show. We've got interviews with Faith Clarkson, and whoever Krysta can manage to pull! And Leah, I have to ask, what is that? [JLT points to a machine next to Leah. It's bright purple, and has white levels on it with a red arrow. There is an open palm on the top which is sticking out forwards.] Leah: Oh that, that's my Slap-O-Meter! JLT: You're what? Leah: My Slap-O-Meter! You see, because my catchphrase is “She needs a good slap” then I thought what better way than to develop my own slap of meter. You see, once I raise the arrow the hand gets further back and then when I push the button it slaps! So the higher the level, the harder the slap! JLT: Great? [After the opening montage and JLT and Leah announce that night's card of festivities the lights go out in the arena. ] Leah: What the hell? JLT: I don't know, did the arena forget to pay their light bills this month. [The song Use Your Fist, Not Your Mouth by Marylin Manson plays.  The crowd as well as the announcers thinks it's the arrival of the Clarkson family, instead a tall man is standing on the rampway and begins walking down to the ring.] JLT: Who the hell is this? Leah: Don't you watch our promo's that's Hope Clarkson's older brother.  I'm sure he's here for vengenace after last year the Clarkson's invaded his family's farm and burnt it to the ground and killing all of Hope's own family.  JLT: I do remember.  I also remeber he almost took Hope, Faith, and what you would call the PIRNF, Christine out of action here in DU.  The Clarkson's were only doing what they felt right.  They got their vengeance.  They sent there message. Leah: Isn't he dreamy? [The man walks into the ring and snatches the microphone out of his hands.  He then stands center ring holding what appears to be six steel sakes in his other hand, which he throws down by his feet.] Christopher: For those of you people who don't know who I am, or have yet to see the videotapes, I'm Christopher Clarkson.  I'm the older and now only surviving brother of your beloved diva here, Hope Clarkson.  I've come out here to night to ask the rest of those divas out in the back for a favor.  But first a little trip down memory lane. [The video wall comes to life and it shows the night Hope, Faith, and the rest of the group invade the Clarkson family farm and burned it to the ground with Ariel, providing the massive fire a dragon can produce.  As the footage plays Christopher speaks.] Christopher: Now as you can see here I'm a victim of arson, murder, and property damage.  This is the kind of people all you sick and twisted fans praise.  This is your current Stripped Champion and her whore of a wife and friend's means of a good time.  They destroyed my home!  For the last few months, I've been living with an uncle of mine and we've been strategizing, and there isn't anything I can do to them, except become a manager of one of those divas in the back.  One of you ladies or GROUP of ladies can help me out. JLT: This is crap!  He forgot to mention he started this sibling war! Leah: Shut up!  Let that man speak! Christopher: For anyone back there, that is tired of seeing those Clarkson's, Keiko the oriental bitch, Bloo whom I know for a fact now is hanging with them, and that mother figure who can't hear her own children, Christine, then I can help you.  You want to take them all out one by one, I've been scouting them all for months.  I know what makes them tick.  I can tell you all their weaknesses, and I can help you destroy them all.  All I ask in for in return, is the gift of vengeance so my parents don't die in vain!  I want the heads of all the of them, Hope, Faith, Christine, Keiko, Bloo, and that dragon Ariel on these stakes.  I want their dead bodies lying in this ring, and their blood washing down ringside like a river!  It's that simple I want them dead!  I want them roting in the ground forever!  So I ask you, any of you in the back...who will answer my call, who will help me aide me in my quest to destroy my sister, and her demonic friends? JLT: He's the PIRNF around here, not Christine. Leah: He's perfect!  He's gorgeous, and I can't wait to see who comes out here! They'll get an instant “Mega-Huge Bitch Slap!” that's the highest level! Debutants Match Alice Malice v Ciara Demillo v Roxy JLT:LT: Next up an important match as we see three new divwiahs debut in the hopes of getting their career off to a very successful start. We've got Alice, Roxy and Ciara. Leah: These women need to gain confidence and then they'll be a force to be reckoned with! [Alice appears on the video wall backstage, she lies on the floor and looks to be unconscious with a lead pipe lying next to her with blood on it, and red blood on her forehead. The fans give a mixed reaction but cheer once the bell is sounded. Roxy and Ciara circle each other, with Ciara nailing punches to the face. Ciara then whips her to the ropes, she nails a back body drop but Roxy gets back to her feet and clotheslines the Goddess down. Roxy then applies a headlock to Ciara, with Ciara pushing her to the ropes once again but with Bryant holding on to them this time as Ciara lands on her back from an attempted dropkick. Roxy then runs forward grabbing the legs of Ciara and flipping over into a cover.] [1] [Ciara manages to kick out.] JLT: Roxy is playing a strategy tonight, she knows Ciara, they’ve had enough history and experience of one another. Roxy wants to try and take her out earlier. Leah: Oooh. [Roxy gets to her feet and whips Ciara to the corner, she follows up with a spear. Roxy then props her up on the top turnbuckle and executes a frakensteiner sending Ciara into the ring. Roxy then tries another cover but Ciara has her foot on the rope.] [Both women climb to their feet with Ciara getting an advantage by sweeping the legs away from Roxy, Ciara then straddle her and begin to pummel her with lefts and rights. Roxy shoves her off and both women get to their feet, Ciara kicks her in the mid-section and tries to nail a butterfly powerbomb but Roxy counters sending Ciara over the top and landing on her back.] JLT: Roxy has really come into her zone in this match, great moves from her. [Roxy then picks up Ciara from behind into an electric chair drop, slamming her opponent into the canvas. Roxy then lifts up Ciara leg and slams it into the canvas, Roxy then tries to cover.] [1] [2] [Ciara kicks out, Chester looks on from the outside with concern. Roxy then runs to the ropes but the suddenly re-appeared Alice grabs her foot, this gives time for Ciara to counter. Roxy runs towards her with a clothesline but Ciara ducks and nails an uppercut.] JLT: The power of thy flower. [Roxy then falls to the ropes but Ciara grabs her into her hanging armbar leg scissors finishing move slamming her into the canvas. Ciara then covers, with Alice helping her by placing her feet on the ropes.] [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here is your winner...CIARA DEMILLO!!! [Alice Malice slides into the ring and she and Ciara exchange stares.] JLT: Well this was a rather impressive bout. I can't wait- [ "Drama" by L7 suddenly begins to blasts throughout the arena. The fans in the audience rise to their feet, but remain silent not knowing who to expect. Roxy, Ciara, and Alice stare up at the ramp in confusion as well. ] JLT: I wonder who this is. Leah: I think I may have a clue. JLT: Oh really? [ A white cloud of smoke begins to billow ontop of the entrance ramp as red and white lights flash throughout the arena. Suddenly the name "Miss Perfect" appears on the screen in scriptive letters. The fans begins to roar loudly as the Dirty Deity, wearing her traditional crimson red shorts and wife beater emerges from the back with a microphone in her right hand. She struts around the top of the ramp, listening to the crowd cheer for her. ] JLT: It's Miss Perfect! I knew she signed with the company, but she isn't schedule for this Exile. Leah: Apparently she's decided to make her presence known. [ Alice, Roxy, and Ciara stare up at Miss Perfect as she blocks their exit from the ring. ] Miss Perfect: I certainly wasn't expecting this kind of applause...But I suppose you DU fans know greatness when you see it. Leah: Great yet another snob. [ Mp smiles brightly as she continues to strut on the top of the ramp. ] Miss Perfect: There have been alot of rumors as to why I decided to join Divas Unleashed. Tonight, I'm going to reveal the truth...I wasn't scheduled for a match, but I was supposed to have a tiny little segment with some interviewer in the back. Yes supposed to, but that just didn't sit well with me. You see Miss Perfect loves attention, and I felt that a tiny little interview just wouldn't do me justice! I've wrestled and defeated world class athletes that most in DU would fear facing. I've won more championships than most of these girls will ever see in their lives. I am a legend in my own right, but I'm here to start a new path...I've heard many good things aboot Divas Unleashed, so I decided to start on a clean slate...None of those championships or victories will matter here. I'm going to start from the bottom, just like Foxy and Ciara, two pathetic untalented women standing around the ring now. The difference between me and these women though, is that I'll actually amount to something. [ The crowd boos slightly, catching onto what the Canadian is saying. Around the ring Ciara and Roxy frown up, not liking what Mp is saying either. On the ramp, Miss Perfect begins to slide on a pair of short black leather gloves and drops the mic on the ramp. She begins to walk down the ramp with her black knee high boots, cracking her knuckles as the crowd watches her every move. Suddenly as Alice tries to walk up the ramp, Mp grabs the rookies shoulder. She speaks into Alice's ear with a slight grin. Alice smiles brightly as she listens to Mp's plan and walks up the ramp quickly. Perfect on the other hand walks down the ramp eyeing Ciara closely. ] JLT: I don't think I like the way things are going right now. What is Miss Perfect planning? Leah: I have no idea, but did she talk about herself in the third person a few seconds ago? [ Ciara prepares herself, expecting the worse. Roxy on the other hand walks up the ramp, realizing Perfect isn't hunting her. Suddenly at ring side Miss Perfect extends her hand to Ciara for a handshake. Ciara stands there for a moment confused. ] Leah: Maybe this was just the Canadian way of saying hello or something. JLT: I don't think so. Miss Perfect is rumored to be one sadistic SOB. [ Ciara eases up on her emotion and shakes Miss Perfect's hand. Mp raises her arm in the air as the crowd cheers in approval. Roxy slowly makes her way up the ramp, still watching the events happening ringside. Seeing that everything is fine she shrugs her shoulder and continues walking up the ramp. Suddenly at ring side, Mp brutally clotheslines Ciara onto the floor. She grabs Ciara by the hair and irish whips the young star into the steel steps. Roxy hears the commotion and turns around but is hit in the head with a wooden bat hard. Alice is seen standing above Roxy with a sick grin on her face. The crowd begins to boo, watching as the assault begins. ] JLT: Oh I knew it! [ Alice continues to hit Roxy with the weapon as Mp slides Ciara into the ring. She irish whips Ciara against the ropes, looking to go for a side slam. However, Ciara locks her feet around Mp's head and hits a rana on her attacker. The crowd cheers as Ciara grabs Mp by the hair throws a punch. Mp blocks the blow and headbutts Ciara in the face. She kicks Ciara in the stomach and places her head inbetween her legs. Before Ciara can counter Mp lifts her over her head and powerbombs Ciara onto the mat with a sick thud. ] Leah: Why are they doing this? JLT: Seems like Miss Perfect gets off on hurting others. As for Alice well, the name says it all. [ Alice drags Roxy down the ramp and tosses the blonde into the ring. She stands over the two fallen wrestlers as Mp slides out of the ring. She looks underneath the apron and lifts something silver over her head for all to see. Suddenly the crowd boos loudly as they recognize the steel stapler in her hand. ] JLT: These two women are going too far. Someone needs to stop them. [ Mp slides back in the ring and sits Ciara up, jerking her head back. She then slams the stapler into Ciara's head repeatedly, causing blood to trickle from her forehead. Alice laughs loudly as Mp hands her the stapler and lifts Ciara up once more. She places Ciara up on the top turnbuckle and climbs up to the top rope herself. She locks in a full nelson hold and leans backwards, brutally ddting Ciara onto the canvas. ] Leah: This is disturbing...I can't believe Alice and Miss Perfect could do this. [ The crowd continues to boo as Mp slides to the outside once more. Alice grabs Roxy up and irish whips her onto the ropes. She clotheslines the blonde onto the mat hard and continues to laugh sickly. Mp grabs a steel chair from outside the ring and slides back in watching Alice closely. As Alice turns around Mp slams the steel chair into her forehead. Alice is stunned, and stumbles back a few steps. Mp takes another hard swing and knocks Alice onto the mat. She places the chair around Alice's right foot and climbs to the top rope. Suddenly she leaps off the top rope and jumps onto the chair, crushing Alice's ankle. Alice screams out in pain as she realizes she's been tricked. ] JLT: How deceptive, Miss Perfect was just using Alice all along! Leah: That's what Alice gets for trusting her. [ Mp grabs the chair from around Alice's leg and hits a recooperating Roxy in the back with it, making sure the blonde stays down. The crowd begins to throw a few things in the ring as Mp signals for a microphone. The ring announcer hands her one hesitantly and she struts around the carnage with a sadistic smile. ] Miss Perfect: As I said before, Miss Perfect loves attention. What I neglected to mention was that I also love destroying other people's careers. Let this be a lesson to you three to stay out of my way while I'm in DU. Also let this be a lesson to the rest of you in the back. The Dirty Deity's here, and you're all screwed... [ She drops the mic once more as "Drama" by L7 plays throughout the arena once more. She leans over and picks up her stapler, wiping Ciara's blood on her white t-shirt...Another sick smile crosses her face as she slides out of the ring for the final time. The audience boos loudly and begins to chant negative comments towards her as she walks up the ramp. Finally she disappears behind the curtain and paramedics begin to rush down to the ring. ] JLT: I can't believe what we just saw here. Who does Miss Perfect think she is? Leah: I have no idea, but there are way too many crazy women in this company as it is. [Lights go out in the arena yet again this time tonight, and like before Marylin Manson's Use Your Fist, and Not Your Mouth comes on in the PA.  Of course the crowd getting confused thinks, Christopher Clarkson is coming out again.  However when the lights come back on instead of a man, it's a dragon carrying four women standing on the ramp.] JLT: Well now that's something you don't see everyday.  Ladies and gentlemen watching at home.  I present to you the ancient dragon Ariel, and alongside her back are Hope Clarkson, The Stripped Champion Faith Clarkson, Chrisitne Lockhart and Keiko "The Dragon" Yoshimato. Leah: Yeah, yeah, yeah.  Why couldn't it had been Christopher, he's better to listen to! That and he was so... JLT: Oh look, all those ladies have raided the set of I Dream of Jeanne.  The all look like genies. Leah: Way to put that together there. [All the ladies get in the ring with Ariel poised outside and with all the crowd around her, she seems quite calm, in fact she leans her head in for some of the kids along ringside to pet her. It was then the three wrestlers of the group begin to belly dance.  Christine who has the microphone asks to cut the music.] Christine: Hello DU and welcome to what has already been an exciting card for the new year!  Now instead of going on and on with speeches that you all don't want to hear, let's get down to business.  Now over the last month we've seem to piss of the resident lady in charge of this group.  In that month you've seen the last of Pain and Pleasure as a team, at least until we can figure out how to get them back.  However Keiko won a match which entitles all of us here including the lovable dragon at ringside a wish.  It's time we collect, so Jaguar Yoshiko get your butt out here and grant us our wishes. [“Nine Tailed Demon Fox” by Toshiro Masuda plays in the arena and out walks the head of DU.   She has a scowl on her face as all those women in the ring are not amongst her favorites in the world right now.  Ariel lets out a low growl and a warning flame as Jaguar enters the ring.  However, the president keeps her cool and enters the ring.] Jaguar Yoshiko: Alright, let's get this dreadful deed over with.  We've got a show to do here, and you know the stakes.  You can't wish for Pain and Pleasure to be a team again, and no wishing for more wishes BS. [Hope grabs the mic and stares down the interim president of DU.] Hope: Oh there's a lot of things I could call you right now.  In fact I think the censors would break that little beep button before I was through with you.  I've thought a lot about my wish, in fact now that Faith is Stripped Champion she had to change hers.  My wish is simple, a one-on-one match with the Unleashed Champion.  Granted I may not be in the same league as the Pinnacle of Perfection or between now and then the new Unleashed Champion if Star would happen to lose her title, but at the next PPV, Nuclear Pussy 2, I want to challenge the Unleashed Champion to a match of the champion's choosing.  I will show you that this alley cat can scrap with any woman here, even the child eating Queen of Hell if need be! [Keiko then grabs the microphone and smiles. ] Keiko: Greetings my fellow Oriental Queen.  Last month I went to your office and begged for this day.  However looking at you I wished I just scared you with my sword rather than look the fool. I first want to tell you what Ariel's wish is. Jaguar Yoshiko: What could a dragon possibly want? Keiko: Well I don't know if you've studied mythology, but back in the days of kings, queens, and knights, dragons were hunted.  However back then humans didn't understand that the dragons were put on this Earth to protect than destroy.  This dragon, until I found her had been in hiding for centuries.  She's actually a 500 year old dragon.  And well she wants to avenge her dead ancestors.  So we've decided to gather two of the worlds most annoying celebrities as knights and well let Ariel have their way with them.  And those two celebrities are Pauly Shore and Roseanne.  We figure Ariel can feast of the corpse of Roseanne for quite some time, and well with Pauly, I think we are doing the world a service. Jaguar Yoshiko: And your wish? Keiko: I had to think long and hard on my wish, Of course you denied all of us the wish we wanted, but Christine, has an ulterior motive in her wish.  For me however there is one woman I think who is my equal in fighting and honor, that is your current Rockford Champion Jade.  I want her in a match for the Rockford State Title.  A two out of three falls match.  After all a woman of her grace is up to that kind of a challenge.  [Next it was Faith's turn to speak.] Faith: Well, Jaguar you already really granted a wish for me by making me the Stripped Champion.  After all in a recent poll the fans voted me the sexiest Clarkson, so naturally me having this title around my waist, well...I'm by far sexier than that Icenique ever was....oh and no offense baby on that sexy comment. Hope: None taken, after all I get to do to you, what the fans..well some...can't.  Sleep with you of course. Faith: Anyway, since I'm a Champion, and there is so many people who are worthy of holding this belt, my wish is to have a battle royal for the #1 contender for this belt.  A ten woman battle royal.  Now I trust you to pick ten lucky ladies to battle it out, and then at NP2 that lucky woman will face me for the Stripped Title, but I must warn the winner...I may be a good little girl, but I will do whatever it takes for me to keep this title. [Next the mother figure of them all, Christine steps up to the mic.  She smiles at Jaguar.  Jaguar however still remains calm and showing no fear as she looks at the former wrestler/now manager's eyes.] Christine: You think you're so smart don't you.  Thought you had us backed in a corner.  You obviously don't know us.  That's were we come back.  You of all people should know to never back a woman into a corner, they come out fighting mad.  Each woman here tonight, and dragon came up with a reasonable wish, and per the conditions you have to grant them, along with this one.  You may of split up Hope and Faith as a team, but you did not split up our family, not by a long shot.  In studying the tapes and the terms of the wishes, I found myself a little loophole.  You said and I quote, the team of Pain and Pleasure was no more. Jaguar Yoshiko: Get to the point Lockhart! Christine: I'll take that as a yes.  [Christine gets right in Jaguar's face.  Their foreheads are touching. They lock eyes, the fans grow silent waiting to see what will happen.] Christine: I would love to throw you around this ring.  Make you experience pain that you have never received.  My only regret is that I didn't get two wishes, because I would of used that second wish to do just that, in fact I may not need that wish before too long.  However, in your own stupidity you left yourself open for this.  My wish is that you grant Keiko to team with Hope and Faith at any time for a tag match, and here's the other ticket, Keiko can switch back and forth between Hope and Faith...for I give you The NEW Pain and Pleasure...simply called The Family.  Now Jaguar the ball is in your court, grant our wishes, before you become a woman in a considerable amount of burning pain.... [Jaguar just stares blankly through her sunglasses at Christine, she nods and she turns back to the backstage area. She steps out of the ring and walks up the ramp, Christine looks at her fellow Family member's confused. Jaguar then finally turns with her microphone.] Jaguar Yoshiko: You get your wishes. -Commercial Break- [We cut backstage where we see the door of Jaguar's office, the interim president's name is on it in blue. Katrina and Lilith stand outside it, with their backs guarding the door and Kat's left hand holding it shut. There are noises coming from the inside as it seems chairs and other metallic objects are being recklessly thrown against the door. There are some shouting, and the two Occult members look in either direction to check for anyone approaching, or any suspicion rising.] JLT: I bet Pain and Pleasure are sorting out Jaguar now... [The noise stops. Katrina and Lilith exchange looks between each other, there is a knock at the door behind them as Katrina removes her grasp on the handle and steps out of the way. Jaguar is pushed out in a wheelchair, with rope tied around her chest, arms and legs, Yoshiko is being wheeled out by Gabriel. Katrina, Lilith and Gabriel then begin to run down the hallway, Mya then steps out from the office. She looks in both directions before following her stable.] JLT: Was that just Mya?! Leah: Where are they taking Jaguar? I haven't been paid, I need my paycheck? Hello! JLT: Knowing the Occult, poor Jaguar is going to be tortured worse than we can ever imagine! I feel sorry for her. Leah: Why? She's a bitch? JLT: So are you? Leah: Hey! Standard Match Bloo v Tina Marie Romero JLT: We've got Bloo and Tina Marie next, this should be interesting. I would if Tina ends up getting covered in paint, the Mafia will place a bounty on Bloo's head? Leah: Please, let's not turn this into gangster land. I'm only allowed to grant one wish, on this, the day of my daughter's wedding. Give me a break! [There is the bell, and this match is underway. The two combatants circle the ring as they size each other up. Tina Marie taunt’s Bloo. The crowd boos her, and soon they lock up tightly with each other. They are both fighting for the advantage in this intial lockup. Tina Marie begins to back up the Japanese towards the far turnbuckle. Once there the ref immediately lays down a count, and there to break up the tie up. Tina Marie slowly begins to loosen her grip to step away as the ref steps in between them. Tina Marie takes a few steps back. Bloo not happy in the least bit with this predicament begins to verbally abuse Tina Marie!] Leah: The verbal abuse, I will not accept this, especially today, on the day of my daughter's wedding! [Tina Marie lets the comments roll off her back, and then dares her opponent to lock up with her once again. Bloo looks around the crowd with a dirty look. She rubs her hands together and takes a step out again. The 2 circle each other once again. Once again they lock up.] [Tina Marie looks as if she will get the upper hand once again in this lockup. They both drop to a knee, and back up again jockeying for position. Then out of nowhere Tina Marie is thrown viciously to the mat and hard! Obviously cheating on the behalf of Bloo. She goes to follow it up with an elbow drop. No one is home. ] [Tina Marie goes to hit a leg drop with same results. Both of them quickly get to there feet. Tina Marie, makes kissy faces at Bloo. The crowd laughs and then Bloo rushes her opponent. Tina Marie is on top of things, and takes her down with a headlock takeover. Once down, Tina Marie wrenches in with the headlock. Bloo screams out in pain, and squirms around attempting to get free of the hold. Eventually she gets her lower half up. And her hands on either side of Tina Marie. She hops around a bit, and flips over, and takes a headlock on Tina Marie!] JLT: Bloo's very athletic, she's definetly improved during her time away from the ring. She's been putting in the training. Tina's becoming sharper too. Leah: Soon she'll be in the same league as Razor. Oh I'm good! I'm writing that one down. [Now Bloo begins to wrench in the hold now! She slowly begins making her way to the her feet, and all the whole digs in the hold. As she begins to try to take control of the hold, Tina Marie begins to elbow the sides of Bloo. And she begins to lose up the hold, she guides her to the ropes, and shoots her off, The rebound catches her with a shoulder. The crowd begins to cheer. Tina Marie takes off the opposite ropes. Bloo rolls, and Tina Marie leaps over her. Tina Marie hits the ropes again, and Bloo catches her with an arm drag, and follows it up with a BIG back elbow, and then a cover for a pin! Tina Marie up at 2. The communist picks up her opponent, and hits her with a few European uppercuts that rock her! Tina Marie is knocked loopy! Bloo is in control much to the crowd’s dismay. She whips her off the ropes, and catches her with a perfect powerslam. Bloo keeps the hold, and hooks the leg for an another pinfall attempt.] [1..2– Tina Marie quickly kicks up.] JLT: Tina Marie’s not a quitter. [Bloo picks up Tina Marie, and shoots her to the ropes, Tina Marie comes at her with a body scissors/wheel barrow position, which she quickly turns it into version of an arm drag. Tina Marie begins to fire up! Tina Marie begins to down take down her opponent with several quick clotheslines! She follows it up with a big slam. The crowd is on its feet by the comeback of Tina Marie! Bloo slowly staggers to her feet, Tina Marie strikes quickly with a spinning neckbreaker! Tina pins putting her feet up on the ropes.] [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here is your winner…TINA MARIE ROMERO! JLT: Tina Marie pinned Bloo! Leah: I will be nothing but happy, on this, the day of my daughter's wedding. [We see Ferrari walking into the arena, obviously arriving at the Don Haskins Center. She is about to enter when suddenly Indigo ambushes her and shoves her against the wall, her front and face being pressed up against the brick and Indigo wrapping a fist around her neck. Jackman standing behind her watching.] Indigo: It's tough luck you got paired with Star tonight, I intend to make an example of you so that nobody ever wants to align with Star. You could be stupid and team with her, or you could make the right choice of turning around and getting the hell out of her. It's up to you. [Indigo knees Ferrari in the ribs sending her to her feet, Jackman smiles and he and Indigo slowly back up. Ferrari then lets out grunts of frustration and looks up to see her partner for the evening, and Unleashed Champion Star standing there with a grin of disappointment on her pretty face.] Star: You know my dear, if you're going to me my partner you better tough up? Ferrari: What's your damage? Why didn't you help me bitch?! Star: Let me remind you, I'm the Unleashed Champion, I'm the franchise of DU. I'm the Queen, I'm even going to have a coronation next week to celebrate my fabulousness, and you should be concerned about having my back. Ferrari: Go f*ck yourself! [Ferrari gets up and storms off, slamming the arena door behind her. Star's cell phone begins to ring as the Goddess' smile increases, she answers the call.] Star: Hello?...you made it! How's your suite? Really? So you're on your way? Tonight yeah. Okay. See you tonight my dear. [Star hangs up and smiles to herself, she then follows Ferrari into the arena as we see Indigo watching from the shadows with a look of discomfort on her face.] JLT: See who tonight? Leah: Me of course. That's half the reason people tune in, and come to watch these events. It's all because of me you see. I'm pleased at Indigo, she's representing! JLT: So you're from the ghetto now? Leah: Don't be so racist. I'm just saying Ferrari needs a good slap. [Leah raises her Slap-O-Meter and slap is unleashed onto the air. She giggles.] [Austin Mack is seen in Jaguar's office, looking at the turned over desk, smashed picture frames and pens scattered everywhere. He shakes his head, a woman is standing next to him, who he refers to as Lacey. Katrina walks into the room, and mocks shock with putting her hands on her chest.] Katrina: What happened? Austin Mack: Jaguar seems missing, I think she's either really, really mad, or the Clarksons abducted her? I don't know yet, I was going to introduce Lacey here. She's my new assistant. [Lacey waves at Katrina, with a clipboard in her hand.] Katrina: Well actually Austin, I've got some news from one of the workers backstage. Apparently someone has abducted Jaguar! I don't know, but that means your the new president while she'll gone! Austin Mack: Seriously? That's sweet, but also really sh!t. Katrina: I know, I just can't believe it! It is just SO shocking! [Katrina shrugs and leaves the room as Austin mutters things to Lacey which she notes down.] JLT: Queen of Fake, not Pain! She and the Occult snatched Jaguar earlier! I don't know where the heck they took her, but come on! How fake can you be? Leah: That fake? We have an update anyway, I was supposed read it out in the last match but I was, ahem, fondling myself. Yeah, apparently they loaded Jaguar into a van and drove off. Mya was driving. Which is just terrible isn't it? JLT: Why would they take her? That is just terrible. Leah: No, not that took her. That's fine. I mean, that she's British. Those are such bad drivers, they drive on the wrong side of the road! I hope they don't end up smashing into a 18-wheel lorry that's carrying illegal immigrants from Mexico! The rotten Latino piganas! El yeaho! JLT: You know, El Paso are mainly Latin, you're just insulting the whole of the fans here? Leah: I lova Mexicano! Ehyo! Standard Match Jessie Lockhart & Julie Foxx v Kate Sims & Trishelle Bryant [All four women are waiting in the ring when the sounds of a familiar tune plays. The fans cheer and applaud, rising to their feet as they see the familiar face on the video wall. “Baby” Loni Persian and her manager Summer Sanders walk out, with Loni having her Askai Championship neatly tucked around her waist. She smiles at the reaction of cheers, and addresses the people in the ring.] Baby Loni Persian: Hey everybody, it's so great to be back in DU! I'm not back full time though, I'm still a little injured and I called up Jaguar last month after I saw Faith Clarkson walk out of the ppv with a brand championship! So, I thought rather than be stripped of my belt, I'd set up a “Persian Empire Tournament” which features the people who I think are the best suited for my belt! [The fans cheer.] Baby Loni Persian: So, I've chosen eight contestants, seven matches. But you see ladies, I've actually canceled your match. Instead I've decided that because Jessie showed the most enthusiasm from what I've seen in her in DU, her team will qualify for the first round. In other words, she and Julie win this match! But, that's only because of the lack of interest from Kate and Trishelle, which proves you never know what surprises are around the corner! [The ladies in the ring look at each other puzzled, with Kate very annoyed at losing.] Baby Loni Persian: I'll be back next week, but sorry ladies and gents, this match is officially canceled and my tournament has officially begun! [Summer and Baby smile at each other, they exchange hugs and walk backstage leaving a confused arena behind as they head backstage.] [We cut to Laura walking down a hallway. She is wearing a red silk shirt with black dress pants. It looks very nice on her. After a walking a few more feet, Laura turns and looks at a door…Laura stands there, staring at the door. The camera backs up to show the door. On the door there is a sign that says: “Mr. Mack, Enforcer of Fair Play. Knock or Your Ass is Fired.” Laura takes a deep breath, and knocks on the door. The door swings up, and Laura is greeted by not Austin Mack…but, instead a rather young lady, around the age of 19. She is dressed in a black vest with a white long sleeved shirt underneath, a black skirt, nylons, and three inch black stilettos.  She also wears black horned rimmed glasses and her long brown hair is pulled into a bun on the back of head. The lady is very attractive. Her emerald green eyes stare at Laura. Laura looks at her…see recognizes the face but, can’t place the name.] Lady: (Excited) Laura! Come on in! (She puts her right index finger to her lips.) Shhhh, Austin is on the phone. He was expecting you, he shouldn’t be long. Laura: Geez, really? (Looks at the lady) So how've you been....uh…? Lady: Lacey, Lacey Ryden you know my – [Just as she is about to finish her sentence you hear the phone hanging up. Austin wearing a white button down long sleeve shirt, and a black and gray tie speaks up.] Austin: Brother, you know her brother. Lance…We all worked together in CWA. You remember Lance don’t you? [Lacey looks to Laura waiting for her answer to Austin’s question.] Laura: (rolls her eyes upwards to think while speaking softly to herself) Lance...Ryden... (Starts biting her lower lip as well).....um..... (Looks straight ahead and lets go of her lower lip)...it...rings a bell----I remember seeing this kid here back then. (Points to Lacey) Austin: (Austin tilts his head.) This young lady is Lacey Ryden. And just like me some comes from an athletic family. Don’t let the look fool you…she is very athletic, and has very pretty eyes. (Lacey grins, as Austin chuckles a bit.) I am sure we will all see this at some point in time. As will the rest of DU. Anyway, Lace is my new personal assistant. I told Lance I would look after her if something happened to him. Laura: Did I SAY she looked like a sissy? Austin: (Sighs) you….You missed the WHOLE point in that statement. As par the course you misunderstand me. Look this isn’t about Lacey. (Austin looks confused.) There is something that we need to discuss….as far as you and I, and this whole thing between us Laura…I – Laura: (Before Austin can finish) There is a "you and I?" Let me tell you somethin' motherf*cker.....there IS no "US." I don't know what fantasy world you're in, but here on Earth we are two separate entities. [Lacey gets this worried look on her face.] Austin: ...That’s why I called you here Laura. You don’t understand. I am trying …you know…I think you are still thinking about the whole thing with Erica. That, I took care of. And there never was anything there I promise. Laura: And there never was anything HERE! (points back and forth between herself and Austin) Why did you think there ever was!? [Austin raises his eyebrows, and sighs.] Lacey: Laura, please just hear him out, he isn’t trying to be an asshole… [Austin looks at Laura, and then to Lacey….he knows there is about to be trouble.] Laura: (Laura turns to Lacey and flips her off) Right now, f*ck you. (Turns back to Austin) What's the point of all this anyways? Austin: That’s it! (Austin stands up) Take your over inflated ego, your stupid red shirt and get the hell out!!! There obviously was NO point in this….(Just about to sit down, he stops himself and pauses for a quick second. He smirks) oh, and before I forget…that shirt makes you look fat! Laura: Oh....that's mature. How old are you again, 12? Thanks for wasting my time. I really appreciate it. (Turns to Lacey) Nice seeing you again! (She leaves in a huff then) [Austin plops down in the chair.] Austin: Well…that went over like gangbusters….. Lacey: You didn’t have to call her fat Austin….That was pretty stupid. Austin:(Throws up his hands.) Bah! Lacey: So what now? [Austin looks at the phone quietly.] Austin: I make a phone call and get someone else to talk with her. Someone I know Laura will listen to… [We cut backstage to Krysta Taylor who is wearing a helmet and we see her pink lips sticking out in a pout. Faith Clarkson stands next to her, with her Stripped Championship over her shoulder and Christine standing next to her. Krysta, with her top unbuttoned, speaks muffled and unclearly.] Krysta Taylor: I. Am. Wearing. This Helmet. As Last Time. I interviewed. The Clarksons. I Was Assaulted. This Time. I Have Protection. [Faith and Christine exchange glances and Christine nods. Faith then pulls the helmet off Krysta's head and the blonde screams and tries to escape, Faith chucks it to the floor as Krysta pulls out a brown paper bag and begins to blow into it.] Krysta Taylor: Okay, I've calmed down. Now, Faith as much as you are an, well, I don't know? Lesbian? Yeah, anyway as much as I'd like to interview you tonight I can't. You see our new president is Austin, and since he's taken over while Jaguar has been taken for a ride [Krysta winks at the camera, proud of her pun], he's decided to cancel your interview! Faith Clarkson: Why? Krysta Taylor: Don't ask me. I don't make the rules, I just break them. Faith Clarkson: Then break them and interview me? Krysta Taylor: No? [Faith Clarkson has a look of frustration on her face, she turns to Christine who rolls her eyes and nods to the side. The Family members wall off and Krysta smiles content with herself, she wipes her forehead. Christine suddenly darts back into the shot and shoves Krysta making her fall sideways to the floor with a thud. Christine then walks away.] Krysta Taylor: I'm going to sue! I'm going to sue! You big fat PIRNF! Battle Royal Match Azrael v Katrina v Keiko Yoshimato v Laura ******************COMING SOON******************* -Commercial Break- [A sweaty Azrael is seen leaving the locker room that has Pain and Pleasure crossed out, and sprayed in “The Family.” and Azrael smiles and nods to Amanda who stands outside the room. We cut backstage into Mystika's locker room. She is preparing for her match, she finishes adjusting her ring attire. Ino Hinata sits staring at the back of Chester's head as he sits content in front of a specially-placed television, tuning into the Teletubbies and cheering as their stomachs light up as transmitters. Mystika breaks the silence, sighing.] Mystika: I'm going to make myself look pretty. [Mystika walks into the bathroom, she closes the door and locks it. Ino then suddenly leaps from her chair, she picks up a chair and plops Chester on the back of the head with it making him fall to the side. Ino then drags Chester but his armpits into the nearby closet (not that he's in the closet) and shuts the door. She locks it with a key, and then puts the key in her bra.] [Ino then switches the television to the TV Tokyo channel and begins to watch some animé. She rests her feet on the chair she used to assault Chester, and acts normally. Mystika exits from the bathroom.] Mystika: Wait, where's Chester? And WHAT are you watching? I told you, no anime! I hate it! Ino: ...slut? Mystika: Ino! You only choose to speak English when it works for you. Where did Chester go? Ino: Mexico? Mystika: Seriously? Oh, I told him not to go there! I can't look for him now? I have a match. He won't be at ringside, that's not fair. It'll just be use, against Lilith's cheats! Ino: ...slut? [Mystika sighs, and picks up her cell phone and begins to dial numbers. We cut to the commentary time.] JLT: Can you believe that? Mystika's room gets the BBC! That is so typical, I'm the one who is on the show all the time, for 2 whole hours! And yet, for all my work, what do I get? Fox! Leah: What happened to your ethics? Chester just when missing, well not missing, evil Ino just made it look like he went south of the border! Hello? JLT: Right now, that does not matter. I will write to Jaguar, or Austin, or Shane, or Tequila and demand I get the BBC! Fox just cancels everything, NBC is good for what? Nothing! CNN is boring, I demand the BBC! Leah: Me too! Standard Match Bianca White v Felicity JLT: Here we are Leah, Bianca and Felicity are set to go toe to toe in only a matter of seconds. I'm pretty excited, this should be a good encounter. Leah: Yeah, I tend not to like either women. So it's nice to see two people I hate get the living daylights kicked out of them! JLT: Well, good for you? [Bianca waves to the fans while making her entrance. A few seconds later the sounds of classic American rock plays and Felicity makes her entrance, her entrance video is a montage of Ferrari's video and some moans over her rock entrance.] Leah: You know when artists cover songs, and they turn out really bad. Like Britney Spears did? Well oops, Felicity's done it again! JLT: Nice pun Leah, is that you're new prerogative? Leah: No, puns are toxic. [Once they are both legal, Bianca cheap shots Felicity with a slap and cockily dances in front of her but Felicity fires back with an even bigger slap which sends Bianca falling to her butt as Felicity pushes her forward grabbing her neck and ramming her head constantly into the mat until the referee has to pull her off. Bianca rolls to her feet and runs towards Felicity but Felicity launches with a spinning heel kick which turns into a leg drop once Bianca is on the floor, as Felicity is shaping up to be impressive in her debut. Felicity grabs Bianca by her hair and throws her into the corner, chasing after her with a clothesline trapping White between the turnbuckle and her arm, but Felicity then props up Bianca onto the top rope. The debuting diva is then grabbed by Bianca’s arm and is forced away from the turnbuckle and into the canvas with a spinning DDT. Bianca gets up with a smug look as she poses to the crowd. Bianca then pulls Felicity to her feet and starts to shout in her face] Leah: Bianca is looking sexy when she's angry. You know I bet if you were in a porno movie, you know home made, then she'd just totally slam the camera in your face numerous times, you know? JLT: Huh? Leah: Oh! You claim to study journalism at college and all you say is “Huh?”, well you're very qualified for the job. I'll just bow down in your greatness shall I? [Felicity has had enough and the blue-chipper decides to hit a European Uppercut to the swear-mouth taking her down to the mat with a shocked look on her face as the camera focuses in on her wide eyed shock until Felicity’s foot comes into view stomping away on the head of Bianca before she is picked up by Felicity and taken down to the mat in a front face drop from a piledriver position. Felicity poses to the fans as Bianca slowly gets back up to her feet, Felicity raises her arms above her head as she gets ready for a gymnastic maneuver as Bianca rises fully to her feet Felicity leaps forward springing up into a handstand with her feet landing on Bianca’s shoulders and around her neck. Felicity then uses her grip around White’s neck to rolls underneath Bianca’s legs and pulls Bianca face first down to the canvas as her head hits the mat before she bounces over into a roll landing spread eagled. ] [Felicity takes this opponent to signal for the crowd as she leaps onto the top rope before launching back off with a twisting leg drop as Bianca screams out from the impact and holds her neck coughing as she scrambles for the ropes to get some air. Felicity takes this to her advantage as she runs to the ropes with White still lying idle, she then dives over the top rope and Bianca’s body and as gravity pulls her to the floor she elbow drops the top of Bianca’s head and neck area as she clutches her head and rolls back into the ring. Felicity climbs onto the apron and raises her arm to the crowd as Bianca rises on the other side breathless and still holding her neck, Felicity leans back holding the ropes firmly in her hand jumping into the ring using the rope as her trampoline push, White counters Felicity for the first time in the match as she dropkicks the Felicity’s gut sending both women back down to the mat.] JLT: Bianca seems to be taking control of this match once again, she's trying to prove herself not only the fans, but to herself. Leah: She's so selfish. [Bianca seems to have hurt her hand as she shakes her hand getting Felicity in a front face lock position, she poses to the fans as they boo her she waves them off and taps Felicity’s back, just as she is about to move to execute the DDT, Felicity counters into a northern lights suplex, she gets up to her feet and brings up Bianca with her. She slams Bianca into the corner and nails a few kicks to the midsection keeping White in the same position and immobile, Felicity poses for her signature move as the fans rise to their feet while the stripper takes position opposite the corner.] [Felicity leans back on the rope and leaps into the ring with a coast to coast dropkick which she slams into Bianca, but Bianca has fallen across the shoulders of her opponent and consequently, into a pin as the referee knows his rule book by heart and sees this, he starts the count.] JLT: This could be it! Thanks to our alert referee... [1] [2] [Felicity just gets her shoulder up but barely, as she tosses Bianca off her, Bianca stumbles to get to her feet using the other turnbuckle to steady herself. Felicity uses the ropes to climb to her feet and begins to walk towards White, Felicity then pulls her into an inverted DDT. Felicity covers.] [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here is your winner...FELICITY!!! [Felicity gets out of the ring and walks up the ramp, she looks back at Bianca with a grin and heads backstage having started her year off well. Bianca gets up from the canvas in frustration and slaps the referee. We cut to Jamie and Leah.] JLT: What is with her? Leah: I know! Some people just need a slap. Bianca, over here! -Commercial Break- [Backstage Austin has set up a new desk with a bucket for a chair, and ironing board for a desk outside of Jaguar's office and has taped off her actual office with ducktape. Bianca White walks along, and stares at Austin with confusion. She addresses the new interim president.] Bianca White: I don't want to know what happened in there, or why you have a desked marked president. But as 2005 will be the year Bianca White becomes the glittering star of Divas Unleashed, I decided what better way than to have me and my team-mate Tina Marie Romero take on the tag champions at the pay per view? Austin Mack: What's with the hard-ass attitude. As a matter of fact I was planning to inject some more passion into the tag division, and as the Enforcer of Fair Play I need to just discover some new talents. Bianca White: Do we get the shot or not? Austin Mack: Calm down, I'll give your shot, but it won't be on your own. Now, if you don't mind I have work to do? [Bianca rolls her eyes and walks in the opposite direction. We cut. We're in the parking lot where Christopher Clarkson is seen speaking to someone through black tinted windows, he smirks and then walks away. He pushes the cameraman down and wee see him entering the limo with the mystery person and pulling out of the arena.] JLT: I wonder who he was talking to? Leah: The President? JLT: Do you ever stop being sarcastic? We also just learned that Bianca White and Tina Marie seemed to have earned themselves a title shot against Diva 69. Austin hardly paid attention, are you sure he knew he was giving it to them? Leah: Well, he's about the middle distance on my meter. Slap! Submission Match Lilith v Mystika ***************COMING SOON**************** [We cut backstage and see Tina Marie Romero locked in a grapple with Sexy Amanda as the two fight backstage, Amanda manages to get the upper hand for a short while before slamming Tina into a wall. Amanda then nails Romero in the face with a kendo stick that mysteriously lays nearby and walks off pleased with herself. Holly Wentz is then carrying coffee, and slips on the broken shatters of the stick and falls spilling coffee all over Tina and herself. She begins to sob.] Leah: Damn Holly, take coffee lessons, you do that every week! JLT: Tina and Amanda just had a fight backstage? Why was that? We only reached them half way through, I wonder what happened? Leah: Here comes Ashley! ["Wannabe" hits and Ashley comes out, wearing pink pleather pants and a pink baby tee with "Mrs. Timberlake" written on it. The crowd gets on their feet, cheering loudly for the teen queen. She struts down the ramp to her set and climbs up the ring steps. she gets in the ring, parading around with her arms raised high. She waves and grins, finally settling into a chair. An assistant hands her a mic and she thanks him.] Ashley: 'Ello, 'ello, loves! This is the first show of Two-Double Oh-Five and I am excited! The Backstreet Boys are making a new album, Lance may go into space, and Britney's married off so I get Justin all to myself. Eeeee! [She beams at a camera.] Ashley: For the first guest of 2005, we have someone who Mum would never let me have sleep over. Please spread her legs and bite her...well...you know...Laura! ["Powersurge" blasts over the arena's PA system and Laura emerges from backstage, her arms making an L above her head. She gets a large pop and makes her way down to the ring. Once inside, she circles the ring once and sits down across from Ashley.] Ashley: Welcome to my show, Laura. Happy New Year. Laura: Thanks, Ash, it's great to be here. Ashley: You've been in DU for almost a year. How do you like it so far? Laura: Admittedly, it's been fun.  I've had a few times where I've had my blood boiling, but it's been a pretty good trip here so far. Ashley: Ahh, and that's how to do it. Now, it says on this handy card Austin Mack gave me that you hail from Oshkosh, Wisconsin, and your last boyfriend was....six years ago? [Laura snaps her head in Ashley's direction, a cold glare in her eyes.] Laura: What?! [Ashley flips through her cards, fidgeting in her seat.] Ashley: Ummm....so...about your catchphrase, "Bite My"--You know--where did that originate from? Laura: Does that card really say that? Ashley: Umm..what card? Laura: The card in your hand. [She lunges towards Ashley and grabs her question cards and begins scanning them.] Laura: Goals... [She flips the card to the side and scans the next.] Laura: Catchphrase... [She also flings that one aside, as well, then scans the next.] Laura: Oshkosh...rich family...perfectionist...relationships--It does! [Laura looks up at Ashley.] Laura: This card says that and you really ask me about that?  What the ffff*ck is wrong with you!? [Ashley squirms in her seat and glances nervously from side to side.] Ashley: Umm...well...I guess this is a good time to tell you that we have a surprise for you this evening. [Laura crosses her arms over her chest, still steaming.] Laura: Now what? Ashley: Think of this as a small 'This Is Your Life' bit...we've got someone from your past who helped you get to where you are today. He loves you, he misses you...here he is...Maurice! [As Laura looks on towards the entrance ramp, sure enough, out emerges her trainer from nearly a year ago, the still apparently "other-sided" Maurice! Dressed in, what is for him usual, nearly skin-tight leather training suit, Laura looks on with a mixed reaction of shock and anger as Ashley just stands and smiles.] Laura: What the f*ck....what the Hell is THIS!? [Maurice waves at various audience members in attendance that remember him as he makes his way to the ring, entering the ring eventually and causing many men to shudder and guard their eyes as his bending over to enter the ring winds up leaving very little to the imagination. He walks over to the in-ring setup and gets a microphone. After doing a couple effeminate gestures towards Laura, he finally verbally greets her with his semi-feminine voice.] Maurice: My, my, my, my Laura----we’ve gained a little weight, haven’t we? I can see you haven’t stuck with our program. Laura: Why are you here? [Maurice gives a short, sissy laugh.] Maurice: Oh, Laura, you are so silly! I am here today because this is the start of a new beginning for you! After all, you have a chance at going on to bigger things starting today and hey, I was there with you when you won your title last year. Maybe you and I together again can win you another championship! [Laura can only get a look of disgust on her face. Just the mere image of having to be with Maurice again is apparently making her sick to her stomach.] Laura: I would rather drink a gallon of Ipecac syrup than spend any more time with you. Maurice: Heavens knows you need a way to lose that weight. [He gives another small, sissy laugh.] Maurice: I kid, I kid. But honestly–-it’s good to see you again. [He steps towards Laura and wraps her in a hug, causing Laura to begin squirming, yet she can’t break the hug as much as she tries.] Laura: HELP! HELP! For all that’s good, somebody help me out here! [Within seconds, there are stirrings in the crowd. Somebody is making their way to the ring! Someone is answering Laura’s call for help! Shoving past other fans and security, this person makes their way over the security rail. The person quickly slides in the ring, made more impressive by the fact they are limping and using the aid of crutches. Laura sees the fan in the ring and moves so her back is facing the camera, with Maurice still latched on in his hug. Looking behind Maurice we now get a clear glimpse of this fan, who is no ordinary fan! It’s Laura’s pal Kendra Wecker!] Ashley: Ladies and gents, it appears as if Kendra Wecker, Laura's longtime gal pal, is here to help her out! [Kendra throws one of her crutches off to the side and grasps the other with both hands. She crouches in an attack position, sizing up the shot on Maurice. The fans know what’s coming as Kendra charges--------CRACK!! The crutches slams over Maurice’s head knocking him down, but also accidentally the upper portion of the crutch catches Laura’s head, knocking a few steps backwards. With Maurice down, Kendra walks over to Laura, and the two high-five. The friends head to the back, Kendra consoling her angered friend.] Ashley: And, erm, such concludes another Ashley. Cheers to all, and to all a good...beatdown with a crutch? ["Wannabe" plays as Ashley heads up the ramp and to the backstage area. The shot changes to Shayla Walker watching the segment on a backstage monitor.] Shayla: Ha! Ashley can't even finish that pathetic show of hers. Some journalist she is. All her show brings is destruction and pain. [She turns her back to the monitor and stares off, scowling.] Shayla: Someday, I'll show YOU pain, Ashley T. Bopper. [The camera shows her menacing face before fading into a commercial.] Tag Team Match Ferrari & Star v Indigo & Kaci Russell JLT: We've come to our main event of the evening. Ferrari and Star, have had a rough partnership just based on tonight, the same with the team of Indigo and Kaci who fought a war in a cage at Dead to the World! Leah: I'm sure Star is feeling extra confident after her coronation too! That was fun, and it should be a good match. Star has to win, it will look bad if she loses just a month and a half after winning her belt, doesn't it? JLT: Well, not to Indigo and Kaci! [The partners discuss who’s going to start the match, as the ref signals for the bell. Star and Kaci decide to start the match off. Indigo and Ferrari get to their respective corners, as Star and Kaci advance on each other. The two lock up and Kaci ends up pushing Star back into a corner. The ref gets in between them, making them break the hold on each other. Then, Kaci slaps Star, hard. Star tries to get out of the corner, as she holds her face, but Kaci keeps her there, laying some chops across her chest.] [Kaci grabs Star and whips her into the other corner. She follows through, hitting Star with a clothesline and then grabbing her and nailing her with a bulldog. Kaci gets up, stomping on her a few times. Then, she drags her over to her corner, tagging Indigo in. She gets in the ring and they both grab Star, bouncing her off the ropes, hitting her with a double clothesline. Kaci gets back to her corner, As Indigo picks Star up. Indigo then under hooks both of Star arms and nails her with a butterfly powerbomb. She goes for the pin, but only gets a two.] JLT: Indigo wants this match to be over quickly, or she's just a keen pinner. Leah: Or maybe she's wearing down our champion, did you happen to think of that? Honestly, some people. [Indigo argues with the ref, stepping over Star. Star takes this opportunity and rolls Indigo up into a school boy. She only gets a two count as well. Indigo quickly gets up form it and starts to stomp Star, rather mad that she tried for a pin. Indigo brings Star up to her feet and whips her into the corner, hard. Star steps out of the corner, holding her back, only to have Indigo knock her down with a running calf kick. Indigo tries for another pin, but gets a 2 count yet again.] Leah: Damn it. 3 is a magic number! Not two! [Indigo argues with the ref again, and Star takes this opportunity to starts to crawl over to Ferrari. Ferrari reaches out for the tag, but Indigo grabs Star, before she can get any further. Indigo picks Star up and whips her off the ropes. Indigo goes for a back body drop, but instead Star kicks her in the face. Then, Star picks her up into a scoop slam position, drops her down onto her feet and slams Indigo down with spinning neckbreaker.] Leah: This could be it, the ice-breaker! Both women need to get to their corners! JLT: Yes, but I don’t think Star has the energy to! [Both woman start to crawl to their respective corners. The fans get behind Star, but Indigo gets to Kaci first, tagging her in. Star ends up jumping for the tag and gets it, bringing Ferrari into the ring. Ferrari climbs into the ring, much to the fans’ approval. Kaci charges at Ferrari, but Ferrari knocks her down with an elbow to the face. Indigo tries the same thing but gets knocked down with a clothesline. Kaci gets back up and tries to punch Ferrari, but Ferrari catches it and slams her down to the mat with a snap suplex.] [Then, Ferrari gets back up, bounces off the ropes and nails Kaci with a running senton but the Pinnacle rolls out of the way. Kaci tries to spear but Ferrari turns it into a spinning body/arm drop. Ferrari goes for the pin, but Indigo breaks it up. Indigo picks Ferrari up, by her hair and tosses her, slamming her down onto the mat, using only Ferrari’s hair. Indigo wipes a few strands of hair off her hands. The ref tries to get Indigo back to her corner, but all that happens is Star nails Kaci from behind, knocking her out of the ring. Star waits for Indigo to get up and then vaults herself over the top rope, hitting Kaci with a body press.] [Back in the ring, Ferrari waits for Kaci to get back up . When she does, Ferrari does a cartwheel into Kaci’s path and nails with a. Ferrari goes for a pin and only gets a two count. Ferrari brings Kaci to her feet and whips her into the corner. Ferrari goes to follow through with a clothesline, but Kaci grabs the ref and puts him in the corner. Ferrari backs off as Kaci gets behind her. Ferrari turns around as Kaci goes for a superkick. Ferrari gets out of the way and the ref gets nailed with it.] JLT: These referees should have this large bubble around them, then they won’t get hit and knocked out. I mean, one little bump from behind and they’re dead. [Ferrari moves behind Kaci, but Indigo nails Ferrari from behind, sending her to the mat. Then, Star gets back into the ring and tries to hit Kaci with a clothesline. Kaci ducks it and Indigo hits Star with a jumping calf kick. Kaci takes this opportunity and slides out of the ring, grabbing a chair at ring side. Kaci slides back into the ring, as Indigo picks Ferrari up. Then, the fans starts to cheer as Star picks up a chair. She slides into the ring, as Indigo picks Ferrari up. Indigo holds onto Ferrari, as Kaci looks like she’s about to hit Ferrari with the chair.] [Kaci tells Star not to get any closer or she’ll hit Ferrari with the chair. Kaci fakes going to hit Ferrari, as Star moves forward and swings for her with a fist but Russell shoves her out of the way. Then, Kaci looks like she’s actually going to hit Ferrari, but Star grabs the chair right out of Kaci’s hands from behind. Star throws the chair over to Ferrari who dropkicks it into Kaci. Star kicks her in the stomach and plants her with a DDT. Meanwhile, Ferrari gets out of Indigo’s hold and gets behind her. Then, Ferrari hits her with a running clothesline.] [Ferrari waits for Indigo to get back up and then clotheslines her over the top rope, both of them going to the outside. Back in the ring, Star has gone to the top rope, Kaci laid out on the mat. Star signals to the crowd and performs the Ravishing Revolution. Kaci moves out of the way though, sending Star right into the mat. The ref now starts to regain his composure, getting up out of the corner. Kaci goes for the pin, but the ref has no idea its going on, as he tries to recover from the superkick.] [Kaci gets off of Star, complaining to the ref. Then, Ferrari gets back in the ring, waiting for Kaci to turn around. When she does, Ferrari hits her with a Ferrari Bomb finisher. Ferrari, being the legal woman, goes for the pin. The ref sees this one and starts to count.] [1] [2] [3] John Roe: The winners of this match, by pin fall…FERRARI & STAR!!! JLT: Star and Ferrari picked up the win in a close match, I’m guessing Ferrari did have her back! [Star raises her title belt above her head, she smirks and then looks at Ferrari as Indigo attacks her with a clothesline from behind, Indigo begins to pound on Ferrari's body as Jackman joins in from the side. They stomp on her as Star slides out of the ring and begins to make her way out of the ring and up the ramp. She stops half-way and motions for someone to join them. Felicity?] JLT: The match is over Indigo, you lost, deal with it. What is Star doing? Leah: I wonder who that is? [Suddenly a woman rushes from backstage and past Star, she slides into the ring and takes the rising Kaci down with a clothesline. Indigo and Jackman then back away in fear and slide out of the ring, Star walks down to the ring and slides in as her rivals slide out. The woman helps up Ferrari.] JLT: Is that? Shelly? Leah: Who? JLT: Shelly the Bod? I think it is! Don't tell me Shelly has decided to crash this party! [Shelly and Indigo then exchange stares from the ring as Exile comes to a close with a fade.] Brought to you by Rockstar Entertainments Epilogue Thanks to Ally, Aaron, Donte', Nea and everybody else for their great contributions to tonight's show. I hope we kicked off 2005 in fashion, and that you enjoyed the show. Some matches I'm STILL! waiting on, so I will add them when I get them. But if you want to know the winners without reading the match, just contact me and I'll let you know. Thanks for reading. And Happy Birthday Ryder! -Card Subject to Change-