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Friday April 21st 2006
[We cut into the Greek arena as the fans have risen to their feet and hold up signs. They leap up and down excitedly as the show begins, and their big chance to appear on historic television has arrived and the first DU show in Greece. They thrust their signs into the air, trying their hardest to get them onto the camera. The director picks out the best, “Keiko Is Our Hero!”, “China Loves DU!” and “China Wants Chyna!” are just a select few. The audience are ecstatic. We pan around the audience once more before we cut to JLT and Leah at ringside.]
JLT: Hello everyone and welcome to Exile, we're coming to live from the wonderful city of Beijing, China, which is steeped in history and tonight we hope to make some more! I'm JLT and I'm joined by my lovely friend Leah as always, aren't you excited for tonight Leah? I know I am!
Leah: Yes, this is the part where we all act all hyper and everything so I'm very excited.
JLT: We've got a fabulous show for you tonight as Chimera will find out her opponent for BB-BB as there's a fatal four way between Icenique, Katia, Mystika and Vixen to determine the number one contender for the Unleashed Championship! That match is wide-open, I sure as hell can't predict a winner!
Leah: Neither can I, I just hope they're not foreign, which means I want Icenique or Mystika to win! That should be an exciting match but we've also got Yuku Shiro taking on Felicity in a hardcore match, that should be one exciting encounter as the two have been feuding ever since Felicity was eliminated by from the battle royal by Yuku!
JLT: That's right, and if you're reading this instead of scrolling down to the matches then you win a cookie! YAY!
Leah: We also have the Rockford State Championship on the line in a gauntlet match as Crystal Hilton, Quinne, Scratch Cat, Keiko and RIOT, Amy Rose and Suzie Woods all battle it out for the coverted belt! We'll be crowning a new champion for sure tonight!
JLT: That's right, we also have Katrina teaming with a mystery partner to take on Blonde Ambition, Katrina has been hunting the blondes since her tag title chances were defeated when Carley and Courtney picked up the belts! That should be one to watch, I wonder who her partner is?
Leah: Probably someone historic like the Queen or something, we also have Chimera and The Unibrow fighting it out in the ring and much much more! I'm so excited, I may have even wet myself!
JLT: Wow, how gross!
Leah: I'm kidding, sheesh!
Standard Match
[Iron Asian Beauty bounces off the ropes but comes back with a front flip and dropkicks The Unibrow sending both women crashing hard to the mat! Yuku Shiro gets back to her feet nursing her arm, while a stunned Unibrow rolls to hers. Shiro then goes for a toe kick to Unibrow’s gut, but she catches Iron Asian Beauty leg, only for Yuku Shiro to go for an enzuigiri to Unibrow's head, which Unibrow ducks releasing Shiro’s leg, and as Yuku turns around The Unibrow brings her down with a short-arm clotheslines to the mat. Unibrow grabs Yuku’s injured arm and applies an arm bar a.k.a the Uni-lock. The referee checks for a tap out, but Shiro screams NO!]
Unibrow grabs Yuku by the hair who’s clutching her sore arm, and goes for another short-arm clothesline, but Shiro this time DUCKS spins around kicking Unibrow in the ribs, hits a Jumping Round House Kick, and levels her with a leg sweep! Dr. Doomsday goes ballistic as the veteran pulls the Stripped Champion to her feet, slaps on a front face lock of her own, and hits a jumping Tornado DDT on Unibrow plowing her head first into the mat! Iron Asian Beauty gets back to her feet, runs off the ropes and hits a moonsault on to The Unibrow. She holds on for the pin as the makes the count. ...1 ...2 Unibrow manages to escape.]
[Shiro gets to her feet, and grabs the Stripped Champion by her hair pulling her up signaling for the Life Hammer just as Dr. Doomsday jumps on the apron to distract the referee. This gives Unibrow the chance she needs to land a vicious illegal mule kick to Shiro pelvis area to double the Legend over; she then spins around, and grabs Shiro’s outfit going for the Schoolboy a.k.a Uni-Girl; Dr. Doomsday tells the referee to do his job and count, which the referee does diving to the mount ...1 ...2 but Shiro somehow manages to kick out shocking everyone. Unibrow looks at Dr. Doomsday with shock unsure what to do, as he tells her to finish Yuku off. With a could of kicks to Yuku’s head Unibrow pulls Shiro to her feet bounces off the ropes, and goes for the Uni-Kick only for Shiro to side step it, grab her by her hair, and drive her hard to the mat for the Reverse X-Factor. Dr. Doomsday jumps on the apron going ballistic again, only for Yuku to rush him and nail him with a right knocking him off the apron to the floor. As a stunned Unibrow stumbles with glass eyes to her feet, Yuku pounces on her locking on the dragon sleeper from behind, and hoists her into a reverse vertical suplex position. The end is near as she cradles the leg closest to her, and kicks her legs out from underneath her and delivers the Life Hammer. The referee dives for the count as Shiro rolls her up for the pin…1…2….3.]
Winner - Yuku Shiro
[“Shake Ya Tailfeathers” plays and Carley comes out down the aisle dressed in in a pink T-Shirt with ‘Carley-ness’ outlined in white on the front, She’s also wearing her trademark pink short shorts. She’s carrying a shirt cannon in one hand and waves enthusiastically to the crowd with the other. Once in the ring she puts the cannon down and requests a mic.]
Carley Monroe: Hiya fans! Carley-ness has totally hit China! WHOOOHOOOO!!!!!
[The fans give a big face pop.]
Carley Monroe: This is so fantabulousy awesome, this is my first time here in China and and me and my sissy Courtney totally love it!
Leah: I have a headache already.
JLT: Aww, I like them, they’re so perky. It’s great.
Carley Monroe: Um so anyways since this is my first time here I brought all my fans presents. Like your own Carley-ness shirts, like the one I’m wearing and and like the one the queen of pain…and the queen of meanies Katrina agreed to model for me!
[A photo shopped image of Katrina appears on the Video Wall, it shows Katrina wearing a ‘Carley-ness’ shirt her hair up in pig tails and she’s got a goofy smile on her face. Seeing this the crowd packs up laughing while Carley stands there with her hands on her hips looking pleased with herself.]
JLT: You have to admit that is funny!
Leah: Only because I don’t like Katrina!
Carley Monroe: Oooh I almost forgot to mention. All the shirts comes in the most awesome colour in the world PINK!!!! So you want it come and get it!
[Carley picks up the cannon and begins firing shirts into the crowd who begin fighting enthusiastically over them.]
Leah: Carley needs to get the hell out of the ring! She is so annoying! Firing t-shirts into the crowd?! You’re a tag champion, not a cheerleader!
[Carley notices Leah yelling at her but can’t hear a word she’s saying so she just assumes that she wants a shirt too and fires the cannon at her but the shirt smacks her right in the face.]
JLT: Ahahahahahaha!
Leah: SHUT UP JAMIE!
Carley Monroe: Uh oh!
[With that Carley drops the cannon in a panic and flees the ring scampering off to the back.]
[The scene is the backstage area of the Olympic Stadium in Beijing. The doors from the parking area open slowly, creaking- and fresh new diva Tiger Lily walks through. She has her red duffel bag slung over her shoulder and is wearing a yellow sundress, the same kind that she usually wrestles in. She is wearing her headphones and bangs her head relentlessly to the music.]
Tiger Lily: [Singing] Girls just wanna have fuuuun….They just wanna….they just wanna…..they just wanna…
[She walks in jamming to Cyndi Lauper’s 80’s Hit “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” until she turns the corner, where she almost runs into a janitor mopping the floor. She jumps when she sees him.]
Tiger Lily: WAHH!! You scared me.
Janitor: I’m sorry miss, but please be careful I just mopped this floor.
Tiger Lily: I’m sorry?
Janitor: I said, “please be careful I just mopped this floor.”
Tiger Lily: I can’t hear you. I have my headphones on.
Janitor: Then take them out so I can talk to you.
Tiger Lily: I can’t hear you. I have my headphones on.
Janitor: [Yelling] I JUST MOPPED THE FLOOR! UNDERSTAND?
Tiger Lily: I don’t like the parking garage that I’m in. It’s such a long walk to the locker room. I want a closer parking lot, like the VIP one where Tequila gets to park. I wonder if they’ll let me park there? If I ask nicely? Do you think so?
Janitor: No, I don’t think so, but you could always ask them anyway.
Tiger Lily: I can’t hear you. I have my headphones on.
Janitor: I SAID YOU COULD ASK THEM!
Tiger Lily: Nevermind. I’ll just ask them.
Janitor: You do that.
Tiger Lily: I can’t hear you. I have my headphones on. ANYWAYS, I’m going to go get ready. Goodbye, janitor friend.
[Tiger Lily waves to the man and walks off. She makes it about two feet before she slips on the wet floor, and her iPod player goes flying.]
[*CRASH*]
Tiger Lily: Youch!
[Tiger Lily looks around and notices that her headphones flew off. She clears some phlegm in her throat.]
Tiger Lily: Darn, right at the good part of the song too!
[She gets on her knees and begins to collect her things. With the camera focused on the floor a pair of feet wearing two fabulous red pump heels come into view. Tiger Lily notices them and begins to stare at them obsessively.]
Tiger Lily: Holy Gucci...
[The camera pans up to show Krysta Taylor (with a new hair color!) standing with a microphone in hand. She grimaces at the girl on the floor.]
Krysta Taylor:...And you must be the new girl...
Tiger Lily: Hi ya. You caught me at a bad time.
Krysta Taylor: Whatever. Shane Rockford told me to get an interview from you. Can you hurry up please? I have to go kill the stylist that made my hair this color.
[Lily examines Krysta’s new ‘do.’ She agrees that the new color is repulsive.]
Tiger Lily: Eww...what happened to your hair?
Krysta Taylor: My stylist, that’s what happened. I should’ve suited the little imp.
Tiger Lily: Yeah, I guess. But, I think you were probably right to not press charges. It would have been irresponsible for you to try to suit your stylist since you clearly weren’t maimed. Besides, the legal system is already overwhelmed with frivolous lawsuits that bog down the entire system and keep more important matters from being tried. It's clearly an abuse of the system stemming from the very fact that it's based on the principle that every person has the right to be heard, no matter how stupid the claim is.
Krysta Taylor: .........
[An awkward silence ensues for a few moments. Krysta Taylor stares blankly and is clearly struggling to keep up since she has never before had to mentally follow a stream of word flow. Finally, Tiger Lily let’s out a slight chuckle.]
Tiger Lily: Well, I think I have a match right now. Bye!
Krysta Taylor: .......
[Krysta rolls her eyes as Tiger Lily skips away, putting her headphones back in. Krysta then sighs and begins to play with her hair, twirling a red strand in her finger. We cut back to ringside.]
JLT: Tiger Lily looks to be fun! I think I like her!
Leah: Yeah, well I used to like Lindsay Lohan, think how wrong I was there. Tiger Lily seems too much of a smart-ass but she might make up for it in the ring, so for now, Leah reserves her judgment!
Standard Match
[Both women come to the ring ready for action. xXx gets an advantage by kicking Lily before the bell rings, Xara then whips Lily to the ropes and nails an elbow to the face before stepping on Tiger's chest and heading to the turnbuckle. Xara exposes it and brings Tiger to her feet, trying to whip her into the exposed turnbuckle but she reveres it, sending Xara into it. Xara bounces out and Tiger Lily nails a DDT, Lily then covers for a two count.]
[Tiger Lily then heads to the top rope and tries to nail a moonsault but xXx rolls out of the way. Xara then nails a stiff knee shot to the face and whips Lily to the ropes, Xara then tries to nail a sidewalk slam but Lily counters it into a headscissors takedown but Xara counters that and executes a Russian leg sweep. Xara then tries to apply a dragon suplex but Lily rolls out and pulls Xara into a backbreaker.]
[With her opponent is down on the mat, Tiger Lily ascends to the top turnbuckle. With a quick gesture to the crowd, Lily springs off the top rope, and performs a perfect somersault in mid-air before crushing her opponent with a frog splash, or as she calls it "Summer Lovin'". Lily covers Xara for the three count.]
Winner - Tiger Lily
[“Faint” by Linkin Park hits the PA system as the fans rise to their feet and give a mixed reaction to the entranceway. Shane Rockford struts out with a smug smile on his face, dressed in a stylist black Armani suit. On his arm is his girlfriend Tequila, whose wearing a revealing red dress with her hair flowing, she twirls and pouts to the fan. As the couple make their way to the ring, Tequila looks up at Shane adoringly.]
[He helps Tequila into the ring by pulling down the ropes and steps in, giving a glance to the fans in the front row as he’s handed a microphone. He smiles and looks around the Chinese arena, as Tequila stands with her hands on her hips. Shane brings the microphone to his lips and addresses the crowd.]
Shane Rockford: You know, it’s great to be here in China. It feels like we’re accomplishing something by holding a show here, especially since China is a place of prosperity and growth. China and Divas Unleashed have a lot in common in that respect. I think we’re at a time in DU that we’re establishing new superstars. In the last month, we’ve seen Crystal Hilton capture the Rockford State Championship only a few weeks after her debut, Quinne has become a solid title after making an impact, we’ve seen Vixen become a Unleashed championship player, we’ve seen the formation and the domination of Joshi Revolution, and even tonight we’ve seen the debut of Tiger Lily.
Shane Rockford: It’s obvious that DU is the place to be right now, we’ve got a lot of fresh blood. Now, I didn’t come out here tonight to inform you all of how happy I am about the state of this company. I came out here to make an announcement, I’ve thought long and hard about it and with assistance from my lovely girlfriend Tequila, I’ve come to a decision.
[Shane Rockford pauses for few seconds as anticipation builds in the audience. He then clears his throat into the microphone and poises his lips.]
Shane Rockford: Next week at Bitch Bitch Bang Bang, we will see a fatal fourway for the Unleashed Championship. Chimera will defend her championship against the number one contender Katia AND against Icenique and Vixen.
[The fans cheer as Shane smiles. Tequila raises an eyebrow.]
Shane Rockford: I know Katia won the title shot fair and square but after the events of Nuclear Pussy III, which I have not forgotten, and the shambles that was the main event, I’ve decided book this match as an insurance policy. You see, if one of our divas chickens out, then we have a back up. It’s a win-win situation, for them, and for me. Plus, it’s very rarely done that a fatal fourway for the Unleashed Championship is put into place, and I think this match will turn out to be a very good encounter, so you fans can thank me for putting on an awesome showcase for you.
[Shane takes a bow as “Faint” continues to play. The fans give him a mixed reaction as Tequila walks up to him and runs her hands over his jacket and winks at him as the golden couple exit the ring and begin to walk up the ramp to the sounds of Linkin Park. We cut to the commentary table.]
JLT: Whoa! Shane just announced that it’s going to be a fatal fourway at BB-BB, can you believe that?! I’m even more excited to see that pay-per-view now!
Leah: I know, I’m sure Katia is pissed off at this news, haha, serves her right! She’s too arrogant for my liking! She’s worse than Beyonce and Mariah combined, and that’s some achievement!
Handicap Match
[Amanda comes to the ring to find she's been deserted by her partner and starts the match alone with Noriko Lee. Amanda nails a DDT and a fisherman's suplex to Noriko and covers but RIOT breaks up the count. Amanda slides out of the ring and begins to look under the ring apron but Noriko Lee hops over the ropes, landing on the apron and nails an Asai moonsault to Amanda on the outside.]
[Noriko tags in RIOT who charges towards Amanda but Amanda leapfrogs over her and runs to the ropes. Amanda nails a flying lariat to take the big woman down to the canvas. Amanda then locks in her Bytch Tamer submission onto RIOT as RIOT tries to crawl for the ropes, Keiko eventually flies into the ring with a missile dropkick to the face of Amanda to break the hold.]
[Keiko tags herself in and Amanda whips her into the turnbuckle. Amanda tries to follow it up with a running clothesline but Keiko nails Amanda in the face with an uppercut, Keiko then pulls Amanda into her "Gagger-plex" finisher and covers for the three count.]
Winners - Joshi Revolution
[Keiko and her stable then kick Amanda out of the ring to the outside as Keiko stands in the middle of the ring. Keiko brings a microphone to her lips after waiting for her music to be cut, as Keiko begins to talk, suddenly Amanda comes from behind with a chair to the back of Keiko' head. Amanda then nails RIOT in the gut and hits Noriko in the head with the edge of it. Amanda slams the chair across RIOT's back and leaves the ring, heading up the ramp with a smile on her face.]
[We cut backstage into the office of Shane Rockford. Shane’s sitting at his desk, leaning back in his leather chair with his hands behind his head, watching live streaming feed from the arena on his wide-screen television. Tequila sits on the edge of his desk, her legs crossed and sipping a glass of white wine.]
Shane Rockford: You know, I’m thinking of giving Felicity a title shot at BB-BB.
Tequila: You’re what?
Shane Rockford: Against Crystal Hilton, over the RS title, I think they’d put on a good match.
Tequila: Shane, no, we’re not giving that slut a title shot.
Shane Rockford: Don’t call her that, she’s the mother of my child remember? You have to be respectful and get along, you don’t want me to pick between either of you and I’m not going to. You need to get over this grudge.
Tequila: Yeah well, you need to keep it in your pants. Don’t give her a title shot. Ever.
[After several moments of silence pass by, there is a knock at the door and the door is pushed open by Katrina and an attractive man walk in. Tequila puts her glass down and stands smiling as Katrina and Tequila exchange air kisses, Katrina then gives a dirty look to the president Mr. Rockford.]
Katrina: Shane.
[Shane scowls as he sits up and Katrina turns to Tequila with a smile on her face.]
Katrina: Tecky, I want you to meet Mr. Alexander Dominguez.
[Tequila and Alexander shake hands as Tequila smiles at him. Katrina then clears her throat and turns to Alexander, speaking softly.]
Katrina: Oh, I just remember I left my purse in our car, can you be a darling and go fetch it for me?
Alexander Dominiguez: Sure.
[Alexander leaves the rooms as Katrina watches him leave, Katrina then turns back to Tequila with a wide smile as Tequila raises her eyebrows. Katrina then shakes her head and speaks flatly.]
Katrina: My ex-husband would never do a thing like that.
Tequila: Well, it looks like you’re a smitten kitten.
Katrina: Oh no, we’re not dating. We’re just friends. Kristin had to take care of baby Matthew, their grandparents couldn’t baby sit and like they’re sure as hell not going to let the jailbird watch him. He’s just keeping me company.
Tequila: And he just happens to be a cute man who puts a sparkle in your eye?
Katrina: Well between you and me, after seeing those broken nose pictures, he’s a lot more attractive than any superheroes ever were.
[Tequila giggles and bites her top lip from saying anything as Katrina suddenly glances at the clock on the wall and turns back to Tequila with a shocked look on her face.]
Katrina: I didn’t realise that was the time, I have to go and prepare for my match. One which will hopefully not involve Krysta Taylor in any shape or form and hopefully not involve Carley Monroe trying to embarrass me and shooting t-shirts at people.
Tequila: Bye.
[Katrina leaves the room and stands in the corridor as Tequila resumes her position on her desk. Shane shakes his head and rolls his eyes at his girlfriend and Tequila smiles to herself.]
JLT: It looks like Tequila was right, Katrina is a smitten kitten, she looked happier than I’ve seen her in a long time.
Leah: That’s because she’s been doing the green stuff. Remember when her hair was green? I thought she was like a giant blunt coming out.
[We cut backstage to see Carley and Courtney Monroe walking together backstage. They’re both wearing the t-shirts Carley was firing into the audience earlier, and they have their tag team championships around their waists. Suddenly a woman leaps in front of them and both women scream and look at the woman in shock as they look horrified.]
[In front of them stands Charmion in disguise, she’s wearing a black wig and has a long purple trenchcoat. Her face is painted bright purple and she holds a sphere in her left hand. She addresses the Monroes, speaking in a slow voice. Blonde Ambition listen intently.]
Charmion: I am Mistress Ping Pong. Here in China. It is good luck if you get your palm read before a big event. It will bring you power, love and money. If you are interested, I can take you to Madame Elsa, free of charge!
[Charmion then begins to flick her fingers in a spooky direction toward the Monroes who gulp. They then both nod and Charmion smiles. Charmion then puts her arm around Courtney and opens a locker room door, as mist flows out of it. Courtney walks into the room as Carley tries to follow but Charmion slams the door shut on Carley before she can enter.]
Charmion: Sorry. One woman at a time.
[After several minutes, thuds are heard coming from the locker room as Charmion smiles sheepishly at Carley and begins to whistle. A large bang hits the door as the knocks and thuds continue, Carley frowns.]
Carley Monroe: Hey! It doesn’t sound like a palm tree reading is going on in there!
Charmion: Oh, that’s because, ummm, Madame Elsa is, umm, accessing the spirit world, yeah, that’s it, she’s accessing and summouning the spirits.
Carley Monroe: Ohhhh!
[The sounds continue to get louder as the door is tried to be pulled open. Charmion pulls back on it, putting her leg against the wall to stop it from opening as Carley hums happily. Carley then shouts.]
Carley Monroe: Wait a minute! Palm trees don’t have spirits!
[The noise stops and the door is opened as Lilith walks out with a smile on her face. She looks at her daughter and nods as Carley gasps, she pushes past Lilith and walks into the misty room as the camera follows her. The camera sees Courtney Monroe lying on the canvas with blood on her face as Carley begins to scream.]
JLT: Lilith just assaulted Courtney Monroe! Courtney looks like she’s hurt! I wonder how that will affect the tag title match next week?
Leah: Ha! That’s all I’m going to say.
Tag Team Match
[Crystal and Quinne start out the match, with Crystal whipping Quinne to the ropes and nailing a spinebuster. Crystal then nails a leg drop and covers for a two count. Crystal whips Quinne into the corner. Quinne nails a foot to the face of Crystal, Crystal stumbles backwards and Quinne nails a springboard dropkick. Quinne then covers for a two count and tags in Felicity.]
[Felicity and Quinne whip Crystal to the ropes and nail a double flapjack, Felicity then picks up Crystal and attempts a powerbomb move but Crystal reverses it with a back body drop and tags in Scratch Cat. Scratch runs into the ring but gets nailed by a clothesline from Felicity, followed up by a standing moonsault.]
[Felicity then runs to the ropes but Scratch Cat nips up and nails her with a spinning heel kick. Crystal Hilton runs into the ring which prompts Quinne to protest as the referee restricts her, Felicity tries to double clothesline them but they duck and nail the Canadian across the head with a double chick kick "The Last Meow" as 'SC' covers for three count.]
Winners - Feminine Felines
[Feminine Felines head up the ramp with Stephanie Sullivan leading them away, Crystal Hilton has the Rockford State Championship over her shoulder as Scratch Cat looks back at the ring. Crystal then stops and picks up a microphone from the floor and asks for the music to be cut.]
[Felicity and Quinne both look on from the ring, exchanging glances at each other. Crystal then speaks into the microphone as Stephanie taps on her shoulder, Crystal shrugs her away as Scratch Cat looks at her partner.]
Crystal Hilton: You know ladies, you put up a good fight. I’m impressed. Actually, I’m so impressed that I want my first Rockford State title defense to be one with strong competition, I want to prove that I deserve to be the champion. So, if you ladies will accept, how about a triple threat at BB-BB?
[Scratch Cat scowls as Stephanie taps on Crystal’s shoulder to reconsider, Quinne and Felicity then look at each other. Felicity then is handed a microphone from a stage hand and brings it to her lips.]
Felicity: I accept that challenge.
[Felicity turns to Quinne.]
Felicity: Do you?
[Quinne nods her head and smiles. She extends her hand to Felicity in a handshake which Felicity returns and both women turn to Crystal who smiles on the ramp. Crystal then brings to microphone to her lips.]
Crystal Hilton: I’ll see you ladies in the ring.
[“Roses” by Outkast begins to play as Crystal Hilton heads up the ramp with her Feminine Felines crew. Quinne and Felicity then leave the ring together, with Felicity walking up the ramp with a smile on her face and Quinne following her up the entranceway.]
JLT: Well, wasn’t that just lovely? It’s nice to see such friendly competition between divas. |
