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Friday October 27th 2006
[We cut into the Halloween decorated arena as the fans have risen to their feet and hold up their infamous signs. The camera cuts to the ring which has now had Krysta Taylor's face imprinted on the canvas. The camera then cuts away and pans around to the arena to catch some of the fans handywork. The director picks out the best, “Katrina, you can take off the mask now!”, “I want to row in the Monroe's oceans!” and “Happy Hallowe'en!” are just a select few. The audience cheer as we pan around the audience once more before we cut to JLT and Leah at ringside. JLT is dressed as a mummy, with bandages wrapped around her head with blood stains while Leah is dressed as Michael Jackson, with a titled hat and red face mask and a suit.]
JLT: Happy Halloween ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to a very scary edition of Divas Unleashed Exile! There's no tricks here, just two hours of treats! We have a wonderful show lined up for you tonight to celebrate the funnest holiday of the year!
Leah: Too bad you're not dead for real!
JLT: Leah, you can't speak with that mask on your face! Take it off!
Leah: No! I'm not showing my nose to anyone! Anyway, let's discuss the matches. We have more tournament goodness as we see Vixen and Tracee Nguyen take each other on in the main event for a spot in the semi-finals! Vixen really wants the gold but Tracee's been too distracted by the arrival of Keira to give the tournament her all!
JLT: That is certainly some interesting family drama! We also have Katrina and Jennifer Collins tangling for the honour of advancing, and I think Katrina wants to win this tournament to complete her title collection! Jennifer is also anxious to proceed, how great a first month for her would it be if she won the title?
Leah: A very good month! We've got Felicity taking on Askai Champion Tiger Lily too! Felicity's been trying to break into acting while Lily has just been pure chilled out this last week! I can't pick a winner that match, I just hope they destroy each other!
JLT: That is a tough match! We've also got Noriko Lee and Lilith tangling, Lilith has been a roll since she had that makeover and Noriko Lee appears to be on the way up even more so! She broke a curse last week by defeating Summer McCoy for the first time!
Leah: Speaking of Summer, she'll be teaming with Shayla and Aphrodite in the 'blonde' team to take on the 'ethnic minorities' team of Maya, Yuku and Crystal Hilton in a pumpkin babies match! I can't wait for that! I can't imagine what chaos there's going to be in that match!
JLT: The Monroes take on KibbyD in a "Wicked Watches" match, that should be very interesting! All the ditziest women in one ring! Armed with broomsticks! What could be better?
Leah: Everything, frankly!
JLT: Don't be rude!
Leah: Oh shut up. Go whore yourself out for some candy.
JLT: I don't want no candy!
Leah: Then you're a selfish bitch.
JLT: I'm going to have to fired one day!
Leah: Hey! Don't hate!
Unleashed Tournament Quarter Finals Match
JLT: To kick things off we have “The Demon Goddess” Lilith, tangling with the “Genuine Purrfection” Noriko Lee in a tournament match. This should be very interesting to watch, I think Noriko surprised people when she defeated Summer McCoy last week!
Leah: Yes, I didn’t know she actually had talent. Lilith will put her in her place though. I mean, come on! Some silly Los Angeles pseudo-Asian taking on a sassy black woman from New York? No contest.
JLT: A sassy black woman from New York? That doesn’t sound like Lilith.
Leah: Oops, I got her mixed up with Mo’Nique. Oh well, my point still remains! Noriko is no match for her!
JLT: Well, I wouldn’t count her out so easily. Both women want to win the ultimate prize in the Unleashed Championship and I’m sure they’ll both be trying their hardest to proceed tonight!
[“Alone In My Room” blasts into the arena as the fans rise to their feet, awaiting the arrival of the Demon Goddess. Lilith walks out onto the stage and frowns, looking around at the audience. She’s wearing a black and green wig and has a pumpkin bucket in her hand. She walks down the aisle and rips the wig off her head and throws it aside. She then realizes she’s holding the pumpkin bucket and flings it into the audience.]
John Roe: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and the quarter-finals of the Unleashed tournament. Introducing first, hailing from Hell, at a weight of 252lbs, she is one half of the DU Tag Team champions...LILITH!!!
[Lilith climbs into the ring and looks around the arena, licking her lips and throwing demonic stares with her eyes. She stands awaiting the arrival of her opponent. “Duality” by Slipknot begins to play on the PA system and the arena drops into darkness. Noriko Lee then struts out onto the stage, holding a torch with flames coming out of the top.]
[The lights resume as Noriko is wearing a long flowing black dress and a mask of Lilith’s old pre-surgery face. Noriko’s hair is wet and sticks to her and she has painted her skin green. Lilith looks shocked as Noriko begins to walk slowly to the ring.]
John Roe: Her opponent, hailing from Los Angeles, California; at a weight of 113lbs...NORIKO LEE!!!
[Noriko climbs onto the apron and looks around the arena, mimicking Lilith. Lilith stares at the mask the Californian is wearing and snarls. Noriko climbs into the ring as Lilith immediately runs towards her, attempting to nail her in the face with a big boot but Noriko ducks. Lilith turns around as Noriko nails in the mid-section with a karate kick. Lilith keels over as Noriko pulls her into a DDT position and leaps into the air.]
[Noriko attempts a swinging DDT but Lilith manages to counter and shoves Noriko forwards. Noriko lands on her feet and swiftly executes a soccer kick to Lilith’s groin. Lilith stands unphased by the attempted low blow.]
Leah: At least we know she’s not a man!
[Lilith grabs Noriko’s leg and pulls her forward, grabbing her by the throat and hoisting her onto her shoulders. Lilith then begins to spin around with Noriko on her shoulders and executes a TKO, slamming her into the canvas. Lilith rolls Lee over for the cover, hooking the leg.]
[1]
[2]
[Noriko kicks out.]
[Lilith then sits up with a demonic smile on her face, she walks towards the corner and begins to climb to the top rope. Noriko, however, has managed to find her feet and chases after Lilith. Lilith turns to face the ring but all of a sudden Noriko lunges at her and grabs her by the head and drives neck over the top rope. Lilith bounces back into the ring holding her neck.]
[Noriko runs towards Lilith and leaps towards her, targeting Lilith’s arm and taking her down into the canvas with a Fujiwara arm bar. Lilith lies on her back as Noriko stretches her long arm, Lilith writhes in pain on the canvas as Noriko’s lip hint of a smile. Noriko leans back and applies more pressure.]
JLT: Lilith could tap out, Noriko has that submission firmly locked in!
Leah: Look what she’s doing now!
[Noriko then begins to nip at Lilith’s wrist with her teeth, spoofing the Demon Goddess’ own wrist biting. Lilith scowls as Noriko sinks her teeth into her black skin, the referee asks Lilith if she submits but Lilith refuses to answer. Noriko continues her pressure on the hold but eventually the referee demands that she break it up.]
[Noriko releases the arm and stands, she runs to the ropes as Lilith lies on the canvas. Lilith slowly gets up on her hands and knees when Noriko bounces back from the ropes and plants both feet in Lilith’s face with a running dropkick. Lilith flies backwards to the ring and holds her face, as Noriko quickly scales onto a cover.]
[1]
[2]
[Lilith gets her shoulder up.]
JLT: It’s funny the height difference between these two women, it’s almost like David and Goliath.
Leah: Both of them suck anyway, no matter how tall they are.
[Noriko tries to pull Lilith to her feet by her head but her shaved hair is hard to get a grip. Noriko whips Lilith into the corner and follows up with a running spear. Noriko glances at the signapore cane that lies under the turnbuckle and nods. She scales Lilith and begins to nail her in the face with a 10 count punch. Noriko reaches five punches to the forehead when Lilith suddenly grabs Noriko into a powerbomb position and walks forward. Noriko counters with a hurricanrana, dragging Lilith into the canvas.]
JLT: Noriko is really taking the fight to Lilith, I bet she didn’t expect her to put up a fight.
Leah: Well she is Asian.
JLT: What does that have to do with anything?
Leah: A lot, Jamie. A lot.
[Lilith and Noriko then find their feet, Lilith then runs towards Noriko and clotheslines her into the canvas. Lilith then looks down at her old face mask that Noriko is wearing, Lilith then snarls and drops to her knees, and begins to tug on the mask. Noriko frantically tries to keep it on but Lilith manages to rip it off and then looks shocked. She looks down at Noriko Lee who is actually Ryoko Kazami. Lilith looks puzzled.]
JLT: What?! Ryoko was wrestling?! Where the hell is Noriko?!
Leah: I don’t know but I love a good piece of deception! Noriko just went up in my estimation!
JLT: There’s the real Noriko!
[The real Noriko crawls out from under the ring and then quickly picks up her Singapore cane from the corner, she turns back to the ring with it in her hands. The referee immediately runs over to her but she waves him away, Lilith finds her feet and turns around as Noriko swings with the cane. Lilith manages to catch the end of the cane and pulls Noriko forward. Lilith grabs Noriko by her throat and launches her into the air, Noriko drops the cane and tries to free herself but Lilith slams her into the canvas, landing on top of the cane.]
[Lilith covers Noriko for a cover.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
John Roe: Here is your winner and advancing in the tournament…LILITH!!!
[Lilith stands with a smile on her face, she looks around the arena and licks her lips as the audience boos her. Lilith walks of the ring, as Ryoko crawls over to Noriko who lies on the canvas, her face buried in her hands. Lilith then stands on the bottom of the entrance ramp, she holds her arms out in a ‘T’ position and lets out a thundering scream.]
JLT: Well, who knows what the hell happened there! Ryoko was pretending to be Noriko and it looked like it backfired big time! Lilith is through to the next round of the tournament, you never know, she could very well take on her own partner Katrina!
Leah: That would be a match made in heaven!
[We cut backstage to see a large room of the arena decorated with Halloween-style objects. There are large carved pumpkins scattered everywhere with candles lighting up their spooky faces, cobwebs hanging from the ceiling and various zombies and monsters hanging on the walls. There’s a buffet of creepy food, such as eyeballs, fingers and green liquid.]
[There are tons of divas in the room, as a zombie-dressed DJ plays the music and the divas dance, with glasses in their hands, enjoying the Halloween party. The costumes are varied from school girls to old ladies, ghosts to militia, Jackie O to Karen O and so on. Krysta Taylor makes her way to the stage, and stands on top of it, dressed as Marilyn Monroe for the Seven Year Itch. She smiles to the audience as the music cuts and Krysta speaks.]
Krysta: Hey everyone! Welcome to our Halloween party! Try not to throw up on each other or I will charge you for the cleaning bill. I’m dressed as Marilyn Monroe, of course, I’m much more of a woman and sex goddess that she is. I just want everyone to have a great time tonight celebrating Halloween!
[The party cheers.]
Krysta: And by good time, you know I mean wake up with a person of indeterminable race who looks horrifying like Big Foot and the fear that you may be pregnant with his baby! Yay!
[Summer McCoy and KibbyD nod in approval, like that's happened to her before. Crystal Hilton shoots them a surprised look.]
Krysta: So I have a treat for you tonight. I know that you are all dying to get into my pants and you all want to screw me but you know, I’m the owner while Shane’s not here. It’s not allowed. Although to be honest, he’s probably screwed all of you. Hello Felicity!
[Felicity smiles back at Krysta and holds up her middle finger to her. Krysta giggles back, snarling]
Krysta: One time was it? Should have used protection. Anyway, I’m going to re-create Marilyn Monroe’s iconic scene to get this night started. Holly, are you ready?
[Holly stands on the stage, dressed as a pink teletubbie, and nods to Krysta. Krysta then drops her microphone and Holly presses a button as a gust of wind sweeps from underneath the stage, lifting up Krysta’s skirt as she tries to keep it down with a look of joy on her face.]
[The audience is horrified as Krysta is not wearing any underwear, and the wind reveals everything about her that you can find in adult films, the crowd look stunned and silence fills the air. Holly then presses the button to switch the wind off and Krysta smiles, wiping hair from her face.]
Krysta: That was strangely refreshing.
[We open up in the arena as ‘Shake Ya Tail Feathers’
hits and Carley and Courtney rush out dressed in pink
Blonde Ambition shirts, pink shorts also now sporting
pink caps. Both hold Megaphones. Courtney stops at the
end of the aisle while Carley who aside from a
megaphone is also holding a couple of party hats,
rushes around to the commentary table where she hands
JLT one of the party hats.]
JLT: Ooh, this looks so fun.
Leah: They better not off-
[Carley offers Leah a party hat too. Leah smiles through gritted teeth and accepts it.]
Leah: Thank you, retard.
JLT: Don’t be rude, party hats are fun! I wonder what they’re for?
[Carley smiles and goes to stand next Leah in order to
put the hat on anyway, then facing Courtney whose
still the by the aisle brings the megaphone up to her
mouth.]
Carley: HEY COURTNEY ARE YOU READY TO SHOW EVERYONE
OUR NEW BLONDE AMBITION MEMBER!!!!
Leah: [blocking her ears] OWW! WHY DO THEY NEED A MEGAPHONE!
Carley: [still holding the megaphone up turns to Leah]
WHAT’D YOU SAY?
[Leah winces at the volume of Carley’s voice and just
sulks.]
Courtney: [Holding the other megaphone] YES I AM
CARLEY. I AM READY AS A FREDDY!
Carley: RIGHT LETS GET STARTED!
Courtney: YEAH!! LETS GET THE PARTY STARTED!!
Carley: ..SHE IS THE BLONDEST AND…um…THE AMBISIONEST.
JLT: A nice butchery of the English language as usual by BA, you have to love them.
Leah: I want them to STOP DISPLAYING THEIR HORRID RETARDEDNESS AND SHUT THE HELL UP!
Carley: THAT’S WHAT I SAID ‘THE AMBISIONEST’
Courtney: YEAH WHAT ARE YOU DEAF? SHE SAID
AMBISIONEST!! GEEZ AND THEY SAY WE'RE SLOW!
Carley: YEAH! THE TOTALLY PINKEST MEMBER TIGER
LILY!!!
[The lights cut off for a few minutes when they come
back on the ring has been done up in pink from the
ring ropes to the canvas. Carley has now rejoined her
sister at the aisle where we see Mistress leading a
blindfolded Tiger Lily whose also similarly dressed,
towards them she then whips off the blindfold.]
Carley/Courtney: [still using the Megaphones] TA DA!
[At that moment pink balloons and confetti begin
falling from the ceiling.]
Tiger Lily: [taking the mic being offered by Mistress] Thank you! Thank you! I’m so glad to be here! Let me just say that it is such an HONOR to be with you lovely ladies tonight! I just know that we’ll do great thing, you’ll see! Watch out, America, because soon Blonde Ambition is gonna take over the WORLD!!!
[Tiger Lily giggles and Carley and Courtney then rush into the ring followed by Mistress and Tiger Lily and all four begin doing
The Monroe’s over blown victory dance.]
JLT: Tiger Lily has joined Blonde Ambition!
Leah: Kill me now.
Wicked Witches Match
JLT: We have the first ever “Wicked Witches” match next to celebrate the fantastic holiday that is Halloween! We get to see Carley & Courtney take on KibbyD in a handicap match. We’ll have broomsticks and we already have a large cauldron over there, and with the Monroes involved, I dread to think what hijinks this is going to lead to!
Leah: Well, all witches are supposed to be ugly and they got that right with this match. KibbyD’s face could sink the Titanic, did you see her plastered all over LA when her movie came out? Those billboards sure caused some accidents.
JLT: Like the Eva Herzigova accidents when people were so mesmerized by her in underwear they kept crashing their cars?
Leah: Yes but at how bitch-ass ugly that girl is.
JLT: Well, let’s hope there’s some witchcraft in this match and we see some good magic in the ring. KibbyD seems to have the disadvantage in this match but the Monroes have the disadvantage in life being so retarded so it’s all good.
["Shake ya Tail Feathers" by Nelly plays as smoke pours out of the entrance and strobe lights flash. Soon Courtney comes out piggy backing Carley both wave to the crowd, both have their trademark big grins on their faces. Upon reaching the ring Carley slides off Courtney's back and both slide into the ring going to opposite corners where they wave to the crowd and shake their rear ends to the phrase 'shake ya tail feathers' both then meet in the center of the ring and remove their sunglasses and raise their arms into the air as pyro goes off behind them.]
John Roe: The following contest is a "Wicked Witches" handicap match. Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California; at a combined weight of 230lbs, Carley and Courtney...BLONDE AMBITION!!!
[The fans rise to their feet with cheers and whistles as the cameras now move to the view of the entrance ramp as Fighting over Me plays loudly over the PA system. Various model shoot captures are shown over the video screen of KibbyD as they then move on to show her and her dog Daisy also. Some in ring action captures of her wrestling. She flips her long blonde hair with her left hand as she holds her dog Daisy with her right hand. The ditzy KibbyD blows kisses to the fans and begins to walk down the ramp while tagging the fans of her hands along the way. When she reaches the ring she slowly walks up the steel ring steps and makes her way onto the ring apron. KibbyD holds onto the ring ropes then swings her hair and very slowly stepping under the middle rope. KibbyD then prances around the ring blowing kiss and then exit the ring to hand Daisy over to the timerkeeper and enter back into the ring and awaits her opponent.]
John Roe: Their opponent, hailing from Houston, Texas, at a weight of 120lbs, accompanied to the ring by DaisyD...KIBBYD!!!
[Carley and Courtney giggle in their costumes. KibbyD steps forward in her rope, she glances over at the Monroes and smiles to the audience. Kibby then lets the rope glide down her shoulders to reveal her costume, an American-flag inspired bikini. She has knee-high leather boots on and twirls for the audience as the male fans cheer her. The camera cuts to Carley’s face which is scrunched up in absolute horror. Kibby then smiles and blows a kiss to the audience, parading herself around the ring.]
Leah: Why does she act like everything she does is apart of a photoshoot? KibbyD is a prostitute for Halloween!
JLT: That bikini really doesn’t leave anything to the imagination, especially when she appears to have got, well, excited.
Leah: Yep. Girl’s got some nipple erections right there.
[Kibby then turns to the Monroes who stand in their pink fairy costumes, their fluffy tutus at their side. Carley then begins to twirl and Courtney presses a button on her costume which causes her wings to flash with pink and white lights, Courtney stands with a mean look on her face. Carley then begins to applaud herself.]
Leah: I like fairies. Especially the tooth fairy, when I was back in the projects I used to pretend I was asleep and wait until she came, with her little bag of money, and then I’d mug that bitch!
JLT: That’s not very nice!
Leah: It’s called survival.
[Kibby then turns to the Monroes as the referee calls for the bell. Both sides run towards each other with Kibby nailing a double clothesline to knock Blonde Ambition down. Kibby then slides out of the ring and picks up a wooden broomstick, she slides it into the ring. She skips to the timekeeper’s table and picks up her dog, DaisyD, and gives her a kiss on the forehead. Kibby then puts her down and walks backwards to the ring.]
[By this time, Courtney Monroe has found her feet. She eyes Kibby and then leans back on the ropes and flies over them, catching Kibby with a plancha on the outside of the ring. Courtney then smiles and applauds herself for nailing the move. She heads to the large cauldron with steam coming out of it and peeks in. Courtney then gasps, as she sees dead frogs and newts floating around in the green liquid. Courtney then scowls and leans in, picking up an eyeball. Courtney then begins to scream loudly and tosses the eyeball into the audience.]
Leah: Was that an eyeball?!
[Suddenly from behind comes KibbyD, who runs towards Courtney and shoves her forward. Courtney screams and falls into the potion, as a large splash flies up. Kibby begins to chuckle as Courtney is heard screaming. Kibby slides into the ring as Courtney Monroe cartwheels towards her, Kibby ducks out of the way.]
[Kibby pulls Carley into a DDT but Carley rolls out of it and pulls Kibby into a clothesline. Carley then smiles but her smile is wiped off when suddenly a large crash is heard and Courtney Monroe has knocked the cauldron on it’s side and climbs out, covered in green goo. She stands and begins to cry loudly, Carley rolls out of the ring and stands in front of her. Courtney opens her arms for a hug but Carley rejects her, not wanting to get the goo on herself, and Courtney begins to cry even louder.]
Leah: This is so hilarious.
JLT: Leah, she’s really upset! |
