Friday January 9th 2009
Bobcats Arena, Charlotte, North Carolina

[We cut into the arena and the fans are on their feet, cheering, thrusting their signs into the air. The theme to Exile blasts over the arena, as the camera pans away from the stage, over the ring, over the commentators and into the cheering crowd. The camera then pans around the arena to see the signs held by the fans, with the signs in an arrange of colours and messages. The director of the show picks out his favourite: "TEQUILA ROX", "Meggie <3!" and "DU + NC = Heaven!" are just a select few. The audience cheers as we an around the audience once more before we cut to JLT and Leah at ringside. They smile at the camera.] JLT: Welcome to Exile, we're coming to you live from North Carolina for the first episode of 2009! This promises to be a great year for us, are you looking forward it Leah? Leah: Whatever. Another year of this? Damn it, if I didn't have my Gucci to pay for I would have quit ages ago. JLT: That's not the attitude, be happy! Leah: k, I'm happy. Not. JLT: We're in the hometowns of Tequila and Meggie tonight, that's cool, although Tequila hasn't shown up yet! Leah: I heard she's too busy being autotuned and airbrush, she can't make a public appearance without special effects. JLT: Well, let's hope she gets here soon! I heard she's coming in a limo and is making a grand entrance! Leah: Ugh, I am so not looking forward to that, unless she goes A over T down the aisle, then I'd brighten up a bit! That would be TV gold! JLT: It would not, you're so cruel! Leah: Cruel but fair. Debutants Match Mercedes Vargas vs. White Lightning JLT: Our opening match is showcasing two new women, we’ve got White Lightning and Mercedes Vargas making their debuts! I’m excited for this, I always love watching the newbies. Leah: Why? So you can undress them with your eyes? JLT: No, I like to see what they can offer to Divas Unleashed. It only takes one woman to change the whole dynamic of the place, and it could be these women, you never know! Leah: Whatever. Mercedes is from Argentina, that’s reason enough to support her. I love foreigners. You know who else was from Argentina? El Che. JLT: Oh, so you have been reading that book? Leah: Slowly but surely, slowly but surely. ["Face to Face" by Siousie & the Banshees starts from the PA system as Mercedes appears on the entranceway, hand on hip. Cheers, boos and catcalls soon greet her. Oblivious and yet satisfied with their reaction for several seconds, she flips her long hair, then makes her way to the ring. As she reaches the apron, she climbs to the turnbuckle, then turns her head back to show a determined expression-perhaps a message that her opponent will be in for a tough fight.] John Roe: The following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Buenos Aires, Argentina; weighing in at 148lbs…MERCEDES VARGAS!!! [The fans are looking towards the back, as the light above the ring have started to dart between the deep colours of fuchsia and gold. As expected “Don't You Want Me” by Human League starts to play out over the sound system. Everyone suddenly cheers, as dressed in an every sex outfit the girl from Romford that calls herself White Lightning steps out from the back, with a flirtatious look about her as he gives a innocent wave to the onlooking fans.] John Roe: And her opponent, hailing from Romford, Essex; at a weight of 134lbs…WHITE LIGHTNING!!! [The referee calls for the bell as the two debutees begin to circle each other. White Lightning then quickly steps towards Mercedes but Mercedes leaps into the air with a roundhouse kick out of no where, a move she calls the ‘Coup de Grace’. Lightning hits the mat, holding her head as Mercedes stands with a smug smile.] JLT: That was a coup indeed, I didn’t see that coming! Leah: Neither did White Lightning, she would’ve ducked otherwise. [Mercedes brings White Lightning up to her feet but Lightning shoves her backwards and begins to nail her with rights and lefts to the face, causing Mercedes to stumble backwards. Lightning then grabs Mercedes by the arm and attempts to whip her to the rope but Mercedes pulls Lightning towards her.] [Mercedes then short-arm clotheslines Lightning to the mat and then grabs her feet, attempting to lock on a submission but Lightning boots her away. White Lightning then nips up to her feet and whips Mercedes into the corner. Lightning follows up with boots to the stomach, causing Mercedes to slide down to be resting against the bottom turnbuckle, and Lightning then begins to choke her with her boot.] Leah: White Lightning is vicious. Although I’m not too cool with the fact she’s called WHITE Lightning. I mean, what’s wrong with BLACK Lightning? Huh? HUH?! Damn racists… JLT: Shut up, you fool. [Lightning grabs a chunk of Mercedes hair and pulls her forward, lying her on her stomach in front of the turnbuckle. Lightning then climbs up and sits on the top rope before leaping off, driving her boot into the back of the neck of Mercedes and completing her ‘Essex Heel’ move.] Leah: Them Essex girls must be hardcore. Is that how they behave? JLT: I think Mercedes should count herself lucky that Lightning doesn’t have ten-inch nails and wrestles in white stilettos. Leah: I love how the viewers will get none of this. JLT: It’s pitiful. [White Lightning then stomps on Mercedes back and rolls her over onto her back, and proceeds to climb to the top rope once again. This time, she leaps backwards with a ‘The Star Jump’ moonsault but Mercedes rolls out of the way and Lightning smacks into the canvas.] Leah: That had to have hurt! [Lightning rolls over onto her back, holding her stomach, as Mercedes quickly runs to the ropes, she leaps onto the second rope and springboards back with a leg drop connecting to Lightning.] [Mercedes then attempts a pin.] [1] [2] [White Lightning gets her shoulder up.] JLT: White Lightning’s putting up a fight, she wants a victory on her debut! Leah: Argentina vs. Britain, huh? This is just like the Falklands War! JLT: How is it in any way like that? Leah: Look, it is, okay? [Mercedes brings Lightning to her feet and whips her to the ropes, Lightning bounces back and attempts to execute a headscissors takedown but Mercedes catches, holding Lightning and dropping her across her knee with a backbreaker.] [Mercedes then stomps on Lightning, willing her to get up, and she does. Mercedes and Lightning tie-up, with Mercedes slipping behind Lightning with a waistlock but Lightning drops to her knees and slips between the legs of Mercedes to stand up behind her. Lightning then grabs Mercedes neck and pulls her down into the canvas with a reverse DDT.] Leah: That’ll crank your neck alright. JLT: Nice move from Lightning, she looks like she wants to fly now. [Lightning then heads up to the top rope and perches, waiting for Mercedes to rise to her feet. The Argentine stands, rubbing her neck and turns to face Lightning as she leaps forward with a hurricanrana but Mercedes blocks the move.] [Mercedes then manages to move Lightning’s body to hold her in a torture rack-style position before executing a inverted death valley driver “Black Rose Overdrive” move to slam Lightning into the canvas.] JLT: Wow! Impressive! [Mercedes covers.] [1] [2] [3] Leah: Vargas wins! John Roe: Here is your winner…MERCEDES VARGAS!!! [Mercedes stands with a smile on her lips, and poses to the audience, her former model background coming in handy for post-match celebrations. Lightning lies on the canvas, being checked by the referee, as Mercedes’ theme music plays into the arena.] JLT: Mercedes picks up the win, I think she’s one to watch! Leah: VIVA LA REVOLUTION! [The sounds of Aqua’s “Barbie Girl” fill the arena as the Divatron comes alive with video footage of the ladies of Blonde Ambition…Carley, Courtney, Tiger Lily, and Mistress. Suddenly the screen flashes pink and the words “Blonde TV” appear on the screen as a blonde wig drops from the top of the screen and lands on the “T”.] [The scene then fades into what appears to be the inside of a recording studio as the words “In the studio with Blonde Ambition” flashes across the screen. Carley, Courtney, and Tiger Lily are standing in the studio, each with headphones over their ears as they look over the sheets of music in front of them. Their producer John Fields and their manager Mistress are standing on the opposite side of the glass, ready to record.] Producer: Okay, this is the Blonde Ambition album, take one…track three…”Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” Lily: OMG, you guys I’m so excited for our new album coming out. Aren’t you? Carley: Totally excited! It was sooo cool to sing the Femmies last year! Courtney: I know! In front of everyone in the world! espically mom and dad and Nana! I can't believe we're gonna have our own CD! [Lily reads the sheet music in front of her, trying best to memorize them.] Lily: Hey…do you guys think that we should warm up a bit before we record? Courtney: Pig-aro, Pig-aro, pig-aro! Lily: Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do! Carley: Mee-mee-mee-mee Producer: All right…ready? Lily: Ready! Carley: As Freddy! Courtney: That Freddy he always ready for what I haven't found out yet. But I'm ready! [Their producer then begins the track as the opening of the song “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” begins to play into their headphones. The girls follow along to the music and bounce their heads to the beat as Carley gets ready to belt out her first line…] Carley: “I COME HOME IN THE MORNING LIGHT, MY MOTHER…!” Producer: Cut, cut, cut… Carley…you don’t have to scream the lyrics, the mic already amps up your voice. Carley: Ummm ok Mr. Producer person Producer: Got it? Good. Alright, this is take two, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”… [The music starts again as the girls get ready to record. Carley looks a bit shaken from being cut off by the meanie producer and eases softly into her lines.] Carley: [in a quiet whisper] “…I come home in the morning light…my mother says when…” Producer: CUT! Carley, Carley, Carley…I need you to sing a little bit louder this time…I couldn’t even hear you over the music… Carley: Right-a-roonie Mr. Producer Person Producer: Alright, take three, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”… Lily: Hey Carley, just pretend that we’re driving around and singing in the car like we did last time! Courtney: Yeah! it's always so much fun singing in the car! go for it Sissy! Carley: Oooooh well why didn't you so! Okie dokie I got now Mr. Producer Person [The producer switches the track on for a third time and the opening sounds of Cyndi Lauper’s hit flow through the speakers once again.] Carley: “I COME HOME IN THE MORNING LIGHT, MY MOTHER…!” [Carley returns to shouting her lines again but this time the producer chooses not to cut her off, having done so a few times already. Mistress can be seen dancing around to the music in the studio as the producer look completely annoyed and grumbles to himself…] Producer: This is going to be a LONG night… Singles Match Codi Leigh vs. Didgitz The Bell rings as Codi and Didgitz circle each other as the fans chant, "Gimmie your go Didgitz! And Who‘s Codi?" Both ladies take a moment to look over the crowd before going back to circling each other. They finally go in and lock up. Didgitz strikes first with an arm wrench, Codi let's out a yell and then reverses it into an arm wrench of her own. Didgitz fight back with a reverse arm wrench as Codi reverse sending Didgitz flipping unto her back. Codi checks her arm as she looks at Didgitz, she then goes for an elbow drop but misses Didgitz. As Codi lies on the mat Didgitz walks over and picks her up she then sends Codi to the ropes and fires back with a nice clothesline sending her back to the mat. Didgitz positions herself on top of Codi as she begins to punch the young diva-star in the head added a little more aggressive pain unto her. JLT: Well I do think this match is off to a good start. What about you Leah? Leah: You know what I think you are ri…wrong. Do you think that Didgitz chick could be the next Crystal? JLT: Hilton? Leah: What other Crystal would I be talking about they are both kind of chubby. JLT: Well there is… Leah: No one lets do our jobs please. Back inside the ring Didgitz get off of Codi as she picks her up by her hair and slings her into a corner. Didgitz smirks as she runs towards her but meets the turnbuckle as Codi moves aside. Codi then slides Didgitz up for a school girl for a count. 1.. Didgitz kicks out of the move as, Codi goes for the attack. As Didgitz tries to work her way back up Codi gives her a boot to the back which knocks her right back down. She goes to lift Didgitz to her feet but Miss Didgitz fight on the way up with a left elbow, then a right, then another left until Codi back off. Codi holds her mouth as she looks at Didgitz, she flips her hair as she moves back to middle ring as does Didgitz. The ladies stare into each other eyes as Didgitz slaps her for looking at her the wrong way. Didgitz and Codi lock back up as Didgitz takes Codi for a vicious neck beaker. Didgitz then returns the stomps to the back to Codi delivering hard stomps to the back of Codi. She turns to the could and smirks as she runs and kicks Codi in the gut flipping her on her back Codi rolls slowly out of the ring in pain holding her stomach. Leah: I was thinking, these girls are some pretty mean sisters. JLT: Well both girls have worked this match pretty well, but we have not crowned a winner yet. Leah: Yeah, Yeah…my money is on the Crystal want-to-be. JLT: I’m not betting you if that what your thinking. Outside the ring Codi lies on the floor gripping her stomach from the hard kick to the stomach by Didgitz. Didgitz exit’s the ring herself as she stands over Codi talking trash to the fallen Diva. Didgitz get in a few slaps before grabbing Codi’s hair pulling her up and smashing her head into the fan barrier. Didgitz does the same thing again but doesn’t let her fall to the ground but slams her face unto the ring apron twice and then delivers one hell of a suplex to her body on the outside of the ring. Didgitz enter the ring only to exit again, to break the ref count. JLT: Didgitz must see opportunity in this match. Because she is making this one A-List match-up. Leah: Why does it have to be A-List. Lets give Kibby some air time and say D-list of a match up. JLT: Oh whatever. Codi tries to crawl away from Didgitz but Didgitz catches her by the legs and drags her closer to her. She then picks her up half way only to toss her body unto the steel stair making her back and head hit just about every step. Codi lets out a loud scream as it happens that fills the area. Didgitz then kicks her in the face which moves her from the stairs back unto the floor. Didgitz then grabs her again and tosses her back into the ring. Didgitz slides in and goes for a cover. 1.. 2... So Close to a three count Didgitz came to but Codi used everything to break it up. Didgitz looks shock as she stares at the ref. Codi seizes opportunity as she kicks Didgitz in the head twice and then uses both legs to kick Didgitz in the stomach knocking her down to the mat. Codi rolls to the ropes as she staggers up. Didgitz get up as she attacks Codi with a knee to the mid. Then she goes for something that looks like a DDT. Codi, reverses the move and pushes her down unto the mat. Codi then puts Didgitz in a headlock hold, Didgitz having alittle more stamina uses her strength and energy to stand but Codi put her back on the mat with a elbow to the back. She then runs and uses the ropes to add her speed, she then drops down on the neck of Didgitz with a pretty nice leg drop. JLT: Leah did you see that? Leah: What did I miss. JLT: Hello were you not paying attention to the match. Leah: Um…no, I just got a text on my phone…I’m being sued. JLT: Really? Leah: Hell No! Now are you paying attention to the match? JLT: Your just one mean lady. All of a sudden, a tall blonde woman steps into the ring from the crowd. The referee immediately calls for security to enter the ring but she ignore him. Didgitz doesn’t see the woman approaching from behind, as she spins Didgitz around and boots her in the face. The woman then picks up Codi Leigh, she pulls her into a pedigree position before lifting her up and powerbombing her into the canvas. JLT: What the hell? Who is that? Leah: DU’s version of Nicole Bass by the looks! Look at that jawline! She could sink the Titanic with that jaw! The referee calls for the bell to signal a disqualification, leaving the match winner-less. The woman then stands and smiles briefly to the audience before quickly making an exit backstage, as Didgitz sits up, holding her jaw and calling for medical attention. [The scene takes a turn backstage, as we see rounding a corner, the darkness of a mysterious figure, until coming into the light and we notice that it was just meggie. Her perma-tan blending in with the darkness, though she still looks hotter than any of you bitches. At least she thinks so. We see Meggie stepping forward not in her regular wrestling attire, but instead in a nice white dress, and a pair of red shoes to match the stretch belt wrapped around her waist accenting the dress with a little color. As she turns the corner she pauses, before she looks upon her manager David Fraley, who smiles her way. She gives him a grin as well, and then she begins to speak. ] Meggie: Sorry it took me so long to get here. I had to stand and talk to those blonde bitches for nearly an hour. The Lipstick Hags or whatever they’re called. Did you bring me what I asked for? [David lifts a bag that has all the elements of just what Meggie wanted, and she grins walking over to him and grabbing it. ] David: What exactly are you going to do with it? [He asked now staring in anticipation. She turned cutting a glare in his direction.] Meggie: Did you just question me you little son of a bitch? Don’t ask me anything unless I tell you to. You won’t be told anything you don’t need to know. [She walked over to him gripping a free hand in a particular area, making him grasp as she squeezed tightly to his privates area] Meggie: Now tell me you’re sorry for being such a bad boy and that you still want to keep your job. Or you’ll go back to being jobless. We‘ve made you and your brother quite the killing, to just do we ask, haven‘t we? [He nodded now giving her an apologetic look.] David: I’m sorry now please just let go. [ Meggie gripped tighter for a moment, making the boy almost cry before she released it and now staring at her hand and turning her nose up at it.] Meggie: The things I do to humiliate other people. [She said with a shrug now pulling david along behind her, with the bag still in hand of the mysterious items.] Meggie: Now come Davey boy. You and I have work to do. [She spoke before the two walked off scene.] Tag Team Match Katie Kooper & Trish Newborn vs. Makaze & Tracee Nguyen JLT: It’s rare we get two champions teaming up, and this week we have Makaze and new Askai Champion Tracee Nguyen teaming up to take on Katie Kooper and Trish Newborn! Leah: This should be fun, I quite like Makaze. I can see myself in her. She has no qualms about shanking a bitch out, and neither do I. JLT: I think this will be a good insight into who might challenge for either one of their titles, Katie already has a victory over Makaze, and if Trish can pull a win over Tracee tonight, she might just slingshot herself into Contendership! Leah: It’s almost like we planned it! JLT: Almost! ["Watch Me Shine" by Joanna Pacitti blasts as Katie comes up jumping around to the ring. She gets into the ring, climbs the top turnbuckle raising her arms. Then jumps down getting ready for the match.] John Roe: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from The Bronx; weighing in at 140lbs…KATIE KOOPER!!! [MorrisonPoe’s "Glitter Girl (Evil Side) Remix" continues through the sound system. The fans all stand awaiting Trish Newborn. Her video plays from past matches she has ever had. She comes out slapping the hands of the fans that came to see her perform, as she walks down the ramp, while pausing herself she just gets herself in the mental state of mind before getting inside the DU ring.] John Roe: Her partner, from San Diego, California; weighing in at 125lbs….TRISH NEWBORN!!! [She climbs the turnbuckle with the lights dim down. Blue spotlights dance all over the arena with the crowd cheering holding her hands up to the heavens, and blows a kiss into the air. Jumps down and hands the timekeeper her entrance attire.] [The arena flickers with blue and white light as "A World Without Logos" by Yasushi Ishii plays. Fog covers the ramp as Makaze appears at the top of the ramp wearing a random patterned kimono and holding a random BeGoths Collectible Doll. She taunts the crowd some especially the men as she feels her body up and walks with a sway to her movement on her way to the ring.] [A sadistic smirk appears upon her lips as Makaze walks over to the steps and makes her way up to the apron, then she turns to face the crowd once up, and slowly licks over her lips with an evil smile still holding the doll. She then takes off the kimono and leaps over the top rope and moves to the center of the ring.] John Roe: Their opponents, first, from Yokohama, Japan; at a weight of 104lbs, the current Rockford State Champion…MAKAZE!!! [The lights go normal as she walks to a corner of the ring, proceeding to take her hands from feeling her body up to putting them at her side in a authoritative pose while up on the turnbuckle licking her lips. Soon walking over to her corner to put the doll aside and going to the middle of the ring.] [All of the lights dim as white lights appears at the entrance-way as smoke slowly lets out. "Her Portrait In Black" by Atreyu then blasts through the arena speakers, just as the music plays, the white lights continuously flash on and off. Tracee Nguyen walks out through the smoke, followed by Deanna. As they stop at the top of the ramp, pyros go off behind them. As the pyros go off, the ramp lights up in white, slowly fading into red and back. They make their way down the ramp, both entering the ring, Deanna first. Tracee makes her way up each turnbuckle, taunting the crowd.] John Roe: And finally, from Texas; at a weight of 125lbs, accompanied by Deanna Nguyen, the reigning Askai Champion…TRACEE NGUYEN!!! [The referee calls for the bell as Makaze immediately runs over to the other teams corner and knocks down Katie Kooper, who was talking to Trish, from behind. Makaze then shoots Trish a stare and begins to stomp on the back of Katie. She grabs a chunk of Katie’s red hair and brings her to her feet, running and throwing her across the ring, leaving Makaze with a few strands of Katie’s hair in her hands.] Leah: Makaze is pissed! Love it! [Makaze approaches Katie, but Katie leaps up from her feet and clotheslines Makaze into the mat. A shaken and dazed Katie then heads to her corner, tagging in Trish. Trish immediately ascends to the top rope as Makaze finds her feet, Trish leaps off with a flying ‘Air Trish’ roundhouse kick, connecting to Makaze’s head and knocking both women into the mat.] JLT: Whoa! [Trish quickly covers.] [1] [2] [Makaze gets her shoulder up.] Leah: Makaze wants to win tonight, I bet she needs the cash to pay for ramen noodles or something Japanese like that. JLT: You don’t think things through before you speak do you? Leah: No, maybe I should? [Trish brings Makaze to her feet and begins to nail her with knees to the face, Trish then whips Makaze into the corner. Trish follows up with a running clothesline, and then props Makaze on the top rope. Trish tries to climb up to join her but Makaze gouges her in the eyes and boots her in the face, sending Trish stumbling backwards.] [Makaze then stands on the top rope, she flips forward with a ‘O-ba-kiru’ dragonrana, connecting to Trish and sending her down into the canvas. Makaze quickly finds her feet.] JLT: The translation of that move is Overkill! Leah: Ugh, her moves are all in Japanese. God, get with the program Makaze, speak American! [Makaze tags in Tracee Nguyen, Tracee approaches Trish and pulls her into a suplex position. Tracee then hoists Trish into the air, holding her for several sections before dropping her with a brainbuster. Tracee then floats over for a pin.] JLT: Here we go! [1] [2] [Katie breaks up the count.] JLT: Do you think the champions strategy is to pin frequently? It looks like they’ve been doing that a lot. Leah: That’s how you win matches, hello? [Tracee finds her feet, and shoots Katie a death-stare for interrupting the match. Tracee kneels and picks up Trish’s head, ramming it into the canvas several times before heading to the top rope. Tracee then glances over her shoulder and leaps backwards with a moonsault but Trish rolls out of the way.] [Trish then regains her composure as Tracee begins to stand, clutching at her knee, Trish comes from behind, grabbing Tracee’s head and running forward before planting her in the canvas with a running bulldog “Newborn Rising” finisher.] JLT: Trish nailed Newborn Rising! Leah: Newborn. Like a baby, hehehe… JLT: Great observation. [Trish covers Tracee, hooking the leg.] [1] [2] [Makaze breaks up the count.] Leah: Makaze looks like she would cut you. JLT: She’s doing well to co-exist with Tracee, there’s been no clash of egos yet! [Makaze stands only to be tackled by Katie Kooper who begins hammering away at her with rights and lefts, the Fiery Redhead then begins to tug at Makaze’s hair, trying to rip strands of it out like Makaze had done to her earlier.] JLT: Look at that explosion of viciousness! Katie and Makaze are going for it! Leah: Go on Makaze! Suffocate that bitch with your boobs! [Trish ignores the bitchfight at the side of her and yanks Tracee to her feet. Trish begins to nail Tracee with right hands and grabs her in a bulldog position once again but she’s knocked from behind by Makaze and Katie who are straddling each other and scratching at each other’s faces.] [This distraction allows Tracee to elbow Trish in the face, Tracee then knees Trish in the stomach and pulls her into a powerbomb position, hoisting her up and into a widow’s peak “South Texas Deathride” finisher to ram Trish into the canvas.] JLT: Tracee nailed it! [Tracee then hooks both the legs, with their partners to preoccupied with each other to notice.] Leah: She’s got the pin! [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here are your winners…MAKAZE & TRACEE NGUYEN!!! [Tracee stands up, with a smile on her face as she’s handed her championship belt. She places it on her shoulder and leaves the room but Katie and Makaze are still persisting in their fight, causing the referee to call for assistance from the back to break them up.] JLT: Makaze and Katie are still fighting! Leah: I bet Katie, like I, is pissed that Makaze won’t speak American. You show her girl! USA! USA! [ We arrive to another scene, where Bobbi Jackson is sitting in her locker room. She looks to be quite sore, as she tapes up some of her injuries, just coming from the hospital. She looks to pop her neck. Before she stares down at the unleashed title and she smiles. That’s before she hears a knock on the door, as she stands she looks reflectively, and then opens the door. Standing before her, a now brunette Meggie and David Fraley stand there. She looks at them with confusion before Meggie gives her a big hug. ] Meggie: Oh my god Bobbi. How are you feeling? [Meggie asked now before releasing the hug. A very strange occurrence for someone who had last week just bad mouthed the woman on live television. Though Bobbi hadn’t heard much of the news she supposed. Since she’d just come from the hospital and all. No one knew how much animosity was really between the two. Meggie could’ve just been making a show.] Bobbi: Still a little sore. [She gestured pointing to her neck and back area. Meggie looked a bit distraught at this and she gave a sad face, before she turned to David and grabbed what he was holding in his hands.] Meggie: Well look, I wanted to bring you a little gift and see how you were feeling. I know we have a match and all, but I don’t want any hard feelings between us. You know we’re like. sisters or something of that effect. Anywho, here you go. [She said with a smile handing her the bear, before Meggie grabbed her next item.] Meggie: And of course, don’t forget this. My Purple Passion tanning Oil. They are such hot sellers, but I got one just for you. A little token to help you bronze up, since I know the hospital hasn’t been getting you the amount of sun you need. Every true champion needs her tan. [Meggie said now handing her the bottle as well. Before Bobbi gestures for them to come in and she places the bottle of tanning oil and the bear on the bench, right beside where she had the unleashed title laying. Bobbi looks away for a moment and we see Meggie staring at the title, with fire in her eyes, until Bobbi turns around and we see her face change back to normal.] Bobbi: Thanks Meggie. You know it’s really great to have friends like you on the roster. Most people would be upset if they just lost a championship match, you know I know a lot of girls have been giving me heat for it. Calling me a paper champion and what not. [Meggie just laughed, a fake laughter of course, but it sounded sort of real. Enough for Bobbi to believe that it was genuine anyways, as David just stared at the two of them.] Meggie: Oh don’t be silly. It’s only the title I’ve been working a whole two years to get, and defeated two of the three people in the match. Really it’s no big deal at all. You did good, you‘re the champion. No hard feelings [The last hint in her voice didn’t say as much, but again it sounded sort of genuine, just how one would expect Meggie to be, so Bobbi didn’t feel a slight hint of anything behind her voice.] Meggie: Anywho sister friend, I’ve got to be going. Fel and I have to work out our wardrobe for the match. I hope you enjoy our gifts. Be sure to use the tanning oil, though. You’re looking a little pale. [Meggie said waving as she walked out of the room, just a few seconds later, before Linda came in, seeing Meggie walking down the hall.] Linda: what in the hell did she want? [Linda asked, as we see Bobbi playing with her bear.] Bobbi: she just brought me some get well soon gifts. Aren’t they awesome? [Linda just glared out the door, signifying the look was just for Meggie. Before sarcastically saying.] Linda: Right. Singles Match Henshin Belleza vs. Veronica Valiant JLT: Well, here we are, ready to go on a match I'm personally happy to see, Veronica Valiant up against Henshin Belleza, two talented new comers looking to make a name for themselves. Leah: Yeah, talented in bed…maybe…though I’m not sure about Henshin Bugaboo. Are albino’s good in bed? JLT: Why do you have to belittle every woman that steps into the ring? Huh? Leah: What’d I do? John Roe: Ladies and gentlemen, our next match is a singles competition scheduled for one fall… ["Marking Time, Waiting for Death" starts up as the arena grows completely dark, remaining that way until the song starts to pick up, as in flash of red lights, a figure emerges from a cloud of red mist, clad in her mask and ring attire, as she steps slowly down towards the ring, eyes completely focused on it, as she simply steps into the ring, walking over to a corner of the ring and simply standing, staying completely motionless, as the lights once again return to normal.] John Roe: Introducing first…from Coral Gables, Florida…HENSHIN BELLEZA! Leah: Ugh, I’m so over divas wearing masks. I bet Henshin has pimples the size of disco balls. JLT: I’ll have you know a lot of wrestlers wear masks. Leah: Yeah, the ugly ones! [As "The World Is Not Enough" by Garbage begins to play, the audience becomes shrouded beneath royal blue mood lighting, whilst blazing white spotlights illuminate the entire ramp. Once the lyrics kick in, Veronica struts out from the back, paying no attention whatsoever to the fans, with Jun Takada following behind her at a respectful distance, only darting to her side when one of her numerous phones or pagers goes off. Just short of the ring, Veronica will stop and lazily extend a hand to Takada, who in turn hands her a pen and a clipboard loaded with insurance forms, none of which Veronica bothers to read before signing them and handing them back. She hops up the steps, saunters across the apron and makes to step into the ring – but instead pauses momentarily, to gaze out over the audience in disdain. Then, finally, she steps into the ring, before stepping to her corner and reclining lazily against it. Not once does she spare her opponent(s) a glance during this.] Leah: Does Veronica plan on doing some business call during the match? How unprofessional! John Roe: And her opponent…from Greenwich Village, New York…VERONICA VALIANT! JLT: You know, both these women have been on fire since they debuted. I think you should show them a bit of respect. Leah: You know, maybe I’ll show them respect if they-- JLT: Shut up, its starting… [Henshin and Veronica both circle the ring with Veronica pulling up in a corner and stopping, looking over her opponent and hopping outside the ring…she gives Henshin a look of disgust, looks to the fans, and starts to walk up the aisle way…] JLT: Looks like Veronica thinks she’s better than this match…she’s taking off early… Leah: Yeah walk out of the match! That’ll get you noticed! JLT: Don’t encourage her, Leah. [Veronica walks up the aisle way and gets about half way before Henshin jumps over the top rope and lands on the floor, running up the ramp towards Veronica before she is promptly met with a surprise clothesline from Veronica.] JLT: And Veronica outsmarts her opponent to start off the match…not a good start for Henshin here… Leah: What a bitch move! I love it! Go VV! [The fans start to boo Veronica and she doesn’t care. She picks up her opponent and flings her into the crowd barrier and starts to put the boots to her gut. Henshin slumps to the ground and Veronica smiles at her accomplishment. She picks Henshin up again and bashes her head into the barrier before dragging her back to the ring…] JLT: Veronica is in firm control of the early goings and if it keeps up like this Henshin may end up in a hosipital… Leah: That would make this match epic. [Henshin is thrown back into the ring and Veronica rolls in after her. Veronica picks her up off the mat and slaps her straight across the face before backing her into the ropes and sending her to the other side. Veronica sets up for a clothesline again but Henshin ducks and latches on, kicks her legs up and goes for a school girl pin. Veronica goes down but rolls out before the referee can begin a pinfall. She releases the pin and stands up, ducking a Veronica punch and catching her with a German suplex to back suplex that sends the Veronica to the mat hard. Henshin stands up and starts to give the boots to Veronica before attempting another pin.] [1] [Veronica kicks out.] JLT: Looks like Veronica isn’t going down without a fight. Leah: Did Henshin really think she was going to get a pin this early? LAME! [Veronica looks stunned after the move and rolls out of the ring for a breather. Veronica insults the fans as she recovers from the quick move set by Henshin and Henshin stands in the ring, looking right at her. Veronica turns her back to the ring and Henshin hits the ropes, signaling as she runs and jumps between the ropes, and hits Veronica with a shoulder tackle from behind.] JLT: THAT had to hurt…Henshin’s over six feet tall! Leah: That’s like getting hit with a tow truck! [Henshin grabs Veronica and throws her into the ring with ease. Jun Takada then gets in Henshin’s face as the two exchange words outside of the ring.] JLT: Looks like Jun Takada decided to throw himself into the match. He keeps yelling at Henshin! Leah: But hey look at Veronica! [The distraction allows Veronica the opportunity to reach over the ropes and pull Henshin up to the ring apron by her hair. VV then hooks Henshin by the head and hits a hard suplex from the ring apron back into the ring. Veronica puts a few more boots to the head of Henshin before placing her foot on Henshin’s chest and stepping on her with all her weight. Veronica then pulls Henshin to her feet and drives her into the corner. From there, VV unleashes a thunderous chop to Henshin’s chest which garner’s a loud ‘whoo!’ from the audience.] Leah: Those chops sound brutal! Henshin’s ta-ta’s must be aching! JLT: I think Henshin has more worries on her plate than her ta-ta’s. [Veronica then grabs Henshin’s left wrist and sends her into the opposite corner there. This time she gives a bit back elbow followed by two more chops before signaling that she’s going to send Henshin for the ride again. Veronica starts to whip Henshin before it is reversed by the challenger and Veronica is sent in with enough force to cause her to flip over the turnbuckle but she catches herself on the ring apron.] JLT: Holy cow, look at the strength of Henshin! Veronica flipped over the turnbuckle like a pancake! Leah: Don’t make Henshin angry…you won’t like her when she’s angry… [Veronica is back up to her hands and knees…and uses the ropes to try to help herself to her feet. Henshin then climbs the turnbuckle and pulls Veronica on top of it as well. She then grabs Veronica and nails a Superplex from the top of the turnbuckle back to the mat canvas.] JLT: The first one up might have a great advantage here…this could be the match for whoever can get a pin first… [Henshin is to her feet first, wobbling a bit, barely standing…and climbs over Veronica for a pin.] JLT: We got a cover! Leah: Ooooh! [1] [2] [Veronica kicks out. Henshin has made her way back to her feet and looks to be getting a second wind. She climbs the turnbuckle but Veronica makes her way and boots Henshin in the face. Veronica then grabs Henshin by the legs and executes a unique slingshot like maneuver off of the top turnbuckle that sends Henshin flying into the mat. Veronica climbs to the tope rope scouting out for when Henshin gets to her feet. Veronica attempts a cross body on Henshin, who jumps up herself and catches Veronica straight in the midsection with a drop kick, sending Veronica to the ground in a heap.] JLT: That was a clever reversal by Henshin. Both these ladies really want the win. [Henshin locks onto Veronica’s waist and looks to powerbomb Veronica onto the mat. Veronica blocks it and tries to turn it around into a hurricanrana. She flips backwards and Henshin goes crashing onto the mat. Veronica then grabs her legs and covers.] [1] [2] [Henshin squirms out of the hold. Veronica slaps the mat in frustration from Henshins’ kickout and stands to her feet. She lays some boots into Henshin’s abdomen and pulls the big woman to her feet. Veronica then slugs her in the stomach and hits the ropes. On the rebound, Veronica goes for a clothesline but Henshin goes for a clothesline of her own but Veronica manages to drop behind Henshin.] [Veronica quickly performs a handstand, and hooks her legs under the opponent’s armpits; she then proceeds to flip forwards, driving the opponent into the mat with a rollover powerbomb to nail her ‘The Pink Slip’ finisher. She holds her position for a pin.] JLT: Wow! That move is always fascinating to see! Leah: You’re just easily impressed! [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here is your winner…VERONICA VALIANT!!! [Veronica stands up with a smug smile on her face with another victory under her belt, glancing down at the masked Henshin and raising her arms in the air.] JLT: VV’s building up an impressive streak! Leah: I really want to see what Henshin looks like under all that disguise! I bet she’s really ugly. [We pan backstage to see the sign saying “Shane’s Office” with words written over it in bright pink lettering, which changes the wording of the sign to “Tequila & Shane’s Official Office… It’s Officially Official.” A tall blonde woman stands with her back in the door way on her way out of the office. We hear Shane from inside.] Shane: It’s great to have you here, but try to keep a low profile for the time being until we get everything sorted out in legal. Woman: I will definitely keep a low-profile. Thank you so much for hiring me. See you later Shane. Leah: Fucking great. Shane hires ANOTHER Blonde… [The woman closes the door with a pink “Divas Unleashed Employee” folder in her hands and sighs contently. She begins to walk off down the hall, but as she turns a corner, Holly Wentz walks right into her, and Holly’s cup of water flies all over the place and all over the woman!] Holly: OH MY GOD! I am SO SORRY!!!!! [Holly searches around frantically for a towel as the woman tries to brush the water off of herself. Holly can’t find anything and starts digging in her purse, where she pulls out a roll of napkins.] Holly: I always keep these just in case. Woman: It’s okay, it’s only a little water… really, I’m fine. [The woman begins to walk away, but Holly is still trying to clean her off. The woman tries to pull away but Holly loses her balance as the woman moves, and Holly wobbles, and finally crashes into a large shelving unit. The unit then falls over, causing a huge domino effect, wiping out 6 shelves full of metal equipment that all come crashing to the floor. Holly looks on in horror as the woman’s mouth drops.] Leah: Surprise, surprise, Holly knocks over an entire room. [Shane comes out of his office as a large portion of the staff comes to investigate, and sees the woman standing there. Shane walks up to Holly and the woman shaking his head.] Shane: Luna, what was with that earlier? Luna: So much for keeping a low profile huh? Holly: Heh. [Luna turns and walks away quickly as Holly turns around.] Holly: Oh crap, now I need to go get more water! Tag Team Match Blonde Ambition vs. Lipstick Mafia Leah: Retards versus retards next! JLT: Leah! Leah: What? I speak truth. [Mistress is standing in the center of the ring which is has been done up with pink streamers wrapped around the ropes and pink balloons tied to the ring posts. Behind Mistress is Mr. Bunny who is seated comfortably on a steel chair. The crowd is cheering in anticipation wondering what the manager of Blonde Ambition has to say and eventually Mistress brings up her mic.] Mistress: Hi Everybody! Now everyone get on your feet and give a warm funzie welcome to the NEW DU Tag Team Champies and the most awesome barefoot chick ever! Put them together and what do you get? BLONDE AMBITION! [The crowd noise level gets louder as parade music hits and Tiger Lily comes out leading the Blonde Ambition Fan Club who are divided in two rows in a march. Once they’re filling the aisle Lily has the two rows line up on either side still marching place while she turns back to face the entry way and brings up a mic of her own which she retrieved from the back of her tights.] Lily: Come on Barbie Lets PARTY!!! [The crowd noise now hits fever pitch as ‘Barbie girl’ comes over the P/A system and the fan club breaks out into a dance led once again by Lily. Soon the Monroes with their tag title belts strapped around their waists come bouncing and skipping down the aisle giggling while ticker tape and streamers fall from the ceiling. Once they join Lily at the end of the aisle Lily hooks her arm with Courtney and the three members of Blonde Ambition head to the ring where Mistress has been dancing around with Mr. Bunny. The fan club follows and surrounds the ring still dancing.] [Once the music dies down Carley takes the mic from Mistress to address the crowd.] Carley: HIYA NORTH CAROLINA !!!! Crowd: HIYA CARLEY!! Carley: Last week was an uber special night for me and my sissy cause we won the tag team champy belts again!!! [The crowd gives a huge face pop before quieting down again.] Lily: Also, Carley and Court are your new Divas of the Month for January! YAY! Carley: Yeah! Me and my Sissy are the first three time DU Tag Team Champies!! [Courtney places her hands on her hips and looks scoldingly at her younger sister as she proceeds to correct her.] Courtney: No... No.. No Sissy! We are the first Three time Three time Three time Tag team Champies! Carley: Ooooh yeah right!….NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT SUCKAAAAAAA!!!!! [As she says this the four members of Blonde Ambition produce lolipops from their pockets much to the amusement of the crowd.] Carley: Now Lily will do the Lilaroonie!!! [Lily looks at the Monroes a little confused until Courtney whispers something in her ear and Lily’s expression changes as she understands.] Lily: Ch-ch-ch-check it out now! [Lily steps into the middle of the ring and proceeds to do her variation of the Spinaroonie to the delight of the crowd. Mistress then tries as well but completely botches though it doesn’t stop the girls from giggling and having a group hug as more pink confetti begins to fall from the ceiling...] [ This is when the sound of “If you seek Amy” interrupts the celebrations that are being withheld for the Blonde Ambition team, as Britany, Cassidy, and Autumn Leigh all make their way out onto the stage. Each Blonde girl looking quite beautiful, though all the fans seem to not like their way of entering, disrupting the blonde ambition ceremonies. Yet each girl in her own collective style manage to walk down the catwalk ramp, with fierceness in their moves. All wearing matching colored attire. Britany in a beautiful tank top and a pair of booty shorts, with pink boots. Autumn in a slimming black sports bra top and a pair of pink booty shorts with long socks and boots, and Cassidy, with A glowing pink bra top with black trim, a pink skirt, with stockings and very well matched tennis shoes. Each girl looked beautiful and definitely didn’t fit the wrestling profile, but then again, who does these days? ] John Roe: “Making their way to the ring, They are Cassidy, Britany, and Autumn Leigh, please welcome LIPSTICK MAFIA!” [Since the fans don’t know much about these girls, they aren’t sure whether to cheer or boo as the blondes duck their way into the ring and show some class by posing a few minutes at the ropes before entering the ring and standing in their respective corner.] Leah: I swear if we add any more blondes to the roster, I am going to go blind from the amount of ammonia hitting my eyes. JLT: I certainly don’t think so Leah, we have found in the past that several blondes on our roster are some of our best wrestlers. Like Lily for instance. Former Unleashed Champion. Leah: Yes, but you also have the bad side of being blonde. Ala Carley and Courtney. [ The ladies have all talked with one another and decided that Carley and Britany would be the first to enter the ring. The referee turns to the time keeper for the ringing of the bell. He nods in agreement with this and then lets the ladies begin the match. As the bell rings, Britany flips her hair making sure she looks perfect, as Carley just stares for a moment giving her an awkward smile, before she does the same thing. Not to be rude, but just saying that she too wants to be beautiful for this match. Britany however, doesn’t take lightly to this and she runs over to Carley and nearly takes her head off with a clothesline, giving the fans the early opportunity to begin booing her. ] JLT: Holy beejees that was a meanie shot. Britany should be ashamed. Leah: I happen to like that she did that. I’m definitely rooting for the mafia now. As long as they buy me some KFC later. [ Britany lifts Carley up onto her knees (by the hair) and places her foot into Carley’s back which makes her scream, not only from the intense hair pulling, but from the back pain as well. The referee begins counting and gets to four just as Britany releases slamming Carley’s head back into the mat. Of course still using her hair.] Leah: What a bitch. I really do like her. Though she ain’t got nuthin’ on me. JLT: She is very rude and using very cheap tactics. I like her hair and all, but she’s totally not making my good list. Leah: Like anyone cares about making your good list. [ Britany now drags Carley by the hair over to her corner and tags in Cassidy who looks to be ready to go, and as her hand is slapped, both Cassidy and Britany grip one another’s arms before using opposite sides of the corner ropes to hop up into the air and then both of them consecutively slam down on Carley with their bottoms, causing Carley to roll over trying to relieve her injuries from the move. As Lily and Courtney can be heard coaching her to get back to their side of the ring. ] JLT: Poor Carley. A cheap advantage and now she can’t do anything. Let’s just give Lipstick Mafia a benefit of the doubt. Since that was a pretty nice tag team move. Leah: Please these bitches aren’t L’Oreal they’re like Bare Minerals, they gonna take you down old school. JLT: Leah that made no sense. Leah: Do you want to get cut? Cause I will cut you. JLT: okay. . . [Cassidy now has grabbed Carley up to her feet and has slung her across the ring diagonally from her corner and runs behind her going for a big body splash, but Carley, barely moves out of the way, causing Cassidy to hit the top turnbuckle chest first. Carley then very quickly flips her over into a school girl pin getting the element of surprise, but it is quickly broken up as Britany French runs in and kicks Carley in the back of the head. ] [This is the moment when Lily has had enough, and she runs into the ring, taking down Britany and then running to the corner and taking down Autumn as well. Before she is caught by the referee and made to get out of the ring, in which she complies with nicely.] JLT: Lily has finally seen enough of this mess. She is dying to get into the ring. [Though Lily’s efforts were marvelous, both ladies that are legal in the ring right now still were laid out, though Cassidy was quite quick to get up. She now grabbed at Carley again trying to lift her up, but Carley gave a taste of her own little effort hitting her in the stomach, and as Cassidy tried to get her again, Carley did the same thing, causing her to back up. As Cassidy tries it again Carley slides under her legs and very comically head butts Cassidy’s buttocks area as she rises up. Carley then holds onto her head, before she runs over tagging in her sissy, instead of Lily who looked quite disheveled by this, as she still wants to tear into Lipstick Mafia.] JLT: Can you just imagine when Lily gets in there, she is going to be on a rampage. Leah: Oh please, she won’t take my girls down. I’ve got faith in them. [ Courtney now grabs her sissy’s hand as Cassidy turns around she is met with a double clothesline from the three time tag team champies. The girls then slide Cassidy inches from the ropes and both give a George of the jungle chant before they turn double cartwheels and hit the double elbow drop on Cassidy which brings the fans to life in their seats, along with the blonde ambition fan club, who have traveled to the blonde ambition side of the ring. ] Leah: Is it not cheating having at least have the arena in your corner, against three girls? JLT: The Blonde Ambition Fanclub is harmless. Leah: They’re biohazards to themselves J. They could hurt anyone. JLT: They aren’t really that dumb Leah. Leah: You really, wanna get cut don’t you? [Courtney now climbs the turnbuckle, seeing her golden opportunity, to try one of her newly learned flying moves that she’s been working on in the dollhouse. She smiles letting the fans know that something big is coming and as she leaps from the second tunrbuckle, she lands a nice looking leg drop, groping the fans approval. As she stands and gives a pretentious bow. Lily and Carley can be heard clapping from the turnbuckle, and the blonde ambition fan club cheer loudly from the outside holding up “GO COURTNEY!” signs.] JLT: Wow, what a fabulous new move. Courtney has been working hard in our dollhouse, along with Carley and Lily. They’ve all been fine tuning their skills during our enormous break. Leah: She stole that from the Dark Knight. Don’t you remember the guy with the weird make-up doing that off the top of a building? JLT: That never happened in that movie. Leah: Maybe it was his role in broke back mountain then. I always get them mixed up. Except well it wasn’t the ground he was landing on. JLT: LEAH!!! [ Courtney, now satisfied with herself, walks back over to her corner tagging In Lily who was more then anxious to get into the ring, the barefoot goddess approaches Cassidy, but is quick to find Miss Cassidy has been playing possum as she sends two of her sneakers into Lily’s abdomen area, causing her to fall backwards and to land outside the ring. As The blonde Ambition fan club run over to assist her. Cassidy then makes her way over to the corner tagging in Autumn Leigh who is the only lady to not have made an appearance in the match so far. She then with a grin on her face runs towards the ropes and takes a huge leap, grabbing hold of the top rope and falling into Lily and half the blonde ambition fan club taking ALL OF THEM DOWN!] JLT: OH NO! she just injured HALF THE BLONDE AMBITION FANCLUB! Leah: I think I know her from the block. Her weave is messed up though. I hope she made Lily Bleed! [ The girls each took moments to get up, though there were a lot of blonde ambition fan club members, yelling at autumn calling her a meanie, though it seemed to have been nice cushioning for her fall, as she climbed up giving all of them a bitchy grin, before jerking Lily up and sliding her back into the ring. The former Unleashed Champion groaned as she was rolled back onto the canvas, as Autumn climbed back onto the apron. She then made her way towards the top rope ascending it.] [Carley Monroe comes from behind to Autumn shoving her forward and causing her to crash down to the canvas. Carley then quickly hops into the ring and pins Autumn, hooking the leg. The referee too confused to care about the legal wrestler.] JLT: Carley has the pin! [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here are your winners…BLONDE AMBITION!!! JLT: What a match! Leah: I know, it was like watching a disease fight itself or something! [Carley helps Lily to her feet as Blonde Ambition celebrate their victory, and exit the ring to tend to their injured fan club.] Triple Threat Match Katia vs. Laura vs. Totally Radd John Roe: “The following contest is scheduled for one fall!” Leah: “What match isn’t?” JLT: “Let him do his job, Leah.” John Roe: “Introducing first, from Oshkosh, Wisconsin...the Queen of Wrestling, Laura Seton!” "Someone said today..." [Laura throws the backstage curtains apart as she walks through them wearing a navy blue track suit with gold trim. She takes a few steps then goes into a small crouch.] BOOM! [She explodes upwards, head leaned back, arms straight out to her sides as pyro blasts of red, then white, then blue, then all three mixed together go off behind her before while she nods her head in time with each blast.] “But I'll find a way, I'll find another way of saying...” [Laura begins making her way to the ring on a slow walk, finally making it at “...think about the lives we had together.” She puts her hands on her hips and lets out a deep breath before diving under the bottom rope and heading for the opposite and to the left turnbuckle.] “Whatever gets you through today...” [She hoists herself on to the middle rope and holds her arms in an “L” shape before hopping down and going diagonally across the ring to the next set of ropes and continuing the process on the other ropes, hoisting herself up to each different one at the ensuing “Whatever gets you through today...” lines.] [Upon getting down from the last set, which would be her corner for the match, she removes the tracksuit top, rips off the pants and throws them to the outside. She follows this by tying her hair into a small ponytail and pulls a thin headband out of her shorts and puts it around her head before stalking around the ring, awaiting her opponent.] Leah: “Could she hog any more camera time if she tried?” JLT: “Look on the bright side, Leah; she isn’t starting off with a promo tonight.” Leah: “Oh, and she so desperately needs a tiara or somethin’ nice to replace that sweatband on her head. I mean, hello? Sweat? Yuck." John Roe: "Next, from New York, New York...this is Totally Radd!" ["Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven blares over the arena's PA. Within seconds of words “Well, I'm not paralyzed”, Totally Radd emerges from the backstage. She artistically waves her hands in front of her before she pushes her right hand to her hip, sticking it to the side wildly. Then she, with little expression on her face, walks down with the ring while swaying her hips from side to side as her arms remain at the side tightly. The whole time, she ignores the crowd. Upon reaching ringside, she turns around and pushes her hip with her left hand. She lifts her right arm up diagonally while holding her wrist limp. Suddenly she snaps the fingers on her right hand. Just as she does this, a beacon of light highlights her from backstage. She whips around back to the ring and climbs the stairs while the beacon fades out. At the center she stops to gawk at the referee for his laziness in not holding the ropes for her. When he does, she enters and waits for the bell to ring while waiting in a corner as her theme dies down, ignoring Laura's Stare Of Death™.] JLT: "Radd, as ever, might as well be waiting for a cab to come pick her up, given how little effort she puts into her preparation." Leah: "Uh, excuse me, missy, but she DID get her hair done up all nice, which is more than can be said for Little Miss Grumpy in the other corner." JLT: "What, she's gonna win by beating people to death with her dyed, straightened tresses?" Leah: "It could happen. That's all I'm sayin'." John Roe: "And finally, from the city of Alexandria, Egypt...Katia!" [“Brick House 2003” by Rob Zombie & Trina suddenly blasts throughout the arena, and the crowd can now begin to expect the grand entrance of the elegant, yet evil Katia..Along side her is her manager Livia who's also as evil, Katia now walks out from the back and makes her way towards the ring, But before she reaches there she stops at the stage section and gives the crowd a little twirl of her latest outfit, Although she gets mostly boos out of it.] [Finally with Livia by her side the evil Katia begins to head to the ring waving to the crowd like she's the queen of the world. When both Divas reach the ring, Livia jumps up on Katias' makeup before the match can begin the apron and holds the middle rope for Katia who enters it ever so graciously, Once inside the ring now Livia begins to check on her hair, which is...evil.] JLT: "There's a lot of evil in that entrance..." Leah: "Don't you mean..." *sticks pinkie finger in mouth* "Eeeeevil?" JLT: "Sometimes, this job just feels like punishment for opening my mouth." Leah: "MWUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" JLT: *groans* "And there's the bell, with Katia and Laura tying up right from the off..." [Indeed, Katia and Laura lock up collar-&-elbow style, with Laura quickly slipping around behind Katia to tie her up in a waistlock, before bringing her to the ground and applying a side headlock - which Katia counters by yanking on Laura's hair. The well-rounded sportswoman instantly lets go and pleads with the ref to do something about it, but alas, the blind idiot never saw a thing. Katia, on the other hand, sees a distracted opponent, and giggles to herself as she folds Laura into a Schoolboy Rollup! Shoulders down...] [1] [DENIED! Kickout!] [Laura and Katia roll to their feet, and strike one another with simultaneous forearm shots; both stumble back as a result...and then pause, as something occurs to them.] JLT: "Hang on...wasn't this a three-girl match?" [This would seem to be what has Katia and Laura confused, as both hold up three fingers, then turn to one of the turnbuckles...where Totally Radd has been standing since the match began. She seems very interested in trying to get something out from under her nails. She does NOT seem very interested in her opponents. Not until they double-Hiptoss her into the centre of the ring and drive stereo elbow drops into her chest, anyway!] JLT: "Radd's paying the price for her negligence - " Dr. Leah-vil: "MWUAHAHAHAHAAAA!" JLT: "You're still going with that?" Har-Leah Quinn: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" JLT: "Anyway...Katia and Laura are just laying it into Radd right now..." [Radd, still on the mat, can do little but cover up and squeal as Katia and Laura repeatedly kick at her ribs, ignoring the referee's protestations. Then, Katia shouts something to Laura, who nods, before scraping Radd off the mat (with a spatula, perhaps) and guides her to her feet - before smacking the back of her head with the High Hurdle kick, knocking Radd straight back down! As the Raddical One rolls out under the bottom rope, Katia sees Laura's back turned again, and tries for another Schoolboy - but Laura's all wised up now, and grabs Katia's right arm, then sinks down, trapping Katia's head with her legs, forming a Triangle Choke!] JLT: "Skillful counter there by Laura!" Fred-Leah Krueger: "HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!" [An exasperated JLT takes a bottle of water and pours it down the back of Leah's top. She shrieks and jumps out of her chair.] JLT: "That's better, isn't it?" Leah: "F-f-f...uhh...ch-ch-ch!" *shiver* [Back in the ring, meanwhile, Katia has refused to give up - and after much wiggling, she just manages to get one foot across the bottom rope, prompting the hold to be broken. Laura drags Katia back up and whips her to the ropes, stooping over for a Back Toss - but she's telegraphed it, and Katia brings her down with a Swinging Neckbreaker. Then the modern-day Cleopatra notices Radd recovering at ringside, and storms over to do something about it, kicking through the ropes - but Radd catches her foot and drags her out of the ring, before tossing Katia headfirst into those big metal dividers used to stop the filthy masses from touching our image-conscious roster. (read: security barricade)] JLT: "Where bone meets metal, bone rarely wins!" Leah: "What kinda stupid line is that? You're like one o' them morons you get on daytime TV...what're they called..." JLT: "Talk-show hosts?" Leah: "Nah, the Japanese." JLT: "Uh-huh. Stupid, racist and drawling - good to have you back to normal, Leah. And Radd's making a beeline for Laura now..." [Radd has indeed re-entered the ring, and swiftly gives the rising Laura a kick to the spine, causing the overachieving athlete to cry out in pain - something which continues when Radd applies a Surfboard Stretch. Laura strains fruitlessly against the torque on her shoulders without success, before opting for a different approach, getting her feet under her and dragging both herself and Radd towards the ropes - which Radd responds to by letting go of Laura's arms and pulling her down to the canvas by her hair.] JLT: "Of all the things to focus on, it seems her opponents think Laura's hair is a weak point..." Leah: "She does kinda look like she's got weak roots in there." [Radd follows up by throttling Laura, hanging on until the ref counts 4, then goes for her Raddifyer armbar - but Laura shifts her weight onto her side, forcing Radd's shoulders onto the mat!] [1] [2 - kickout!] [Radd scrambles back to her feet, fuming, and rushes Laura before she's even fully up, jumping up and raising her knees, delivering a Facebuster that knocks Laura's lights out. Laura rolls out onto the apron just as Katia steps back onto it. Radd goes to take a swing at Katia, but gets her eyes raked for her troubles; and after backing off a few steps, Radd finds Katia springing off the ropes towards her, and gets taken down with a Tornado DDT!] JLT: "Chaotic Dreams! That could fell an elephant!" Leah: "Or Rosie O'Donell!" [Katia hooks Radd's leg...] [1] [2] [...nope, kickout!] [Katia screams in frustration, then starts stomping holes in Radd's still-tender ribs. However, Radd manages to catch hold of Katia's leg and pushes her over, before mounting her and starting to hammer away with vicious punches. After some clean hits, Katia loses her focus and can't defend; seeing this as a good opportunity, Radd runs to the ropes, vaults onto the middle one and springboards off, coming down hard on Katia's head with the Plastic Surgery kneedrop!] Leah: "NO! Her delicate cheekbones!" [Radd has a good laugh at the floundering Katia's expense, then decides to concentrate her efforts on Laura once more - but takes a shoulder thrust from the apron-stood athlete, prior to Laura bouncing up to grab her head with her legs and - ] JLT: "OHMIGOD! FIRST CLASS! That Hurricanrana just brought Totally Radd all the way over the top rope to the floor!" Leah: "Hehehe...concussion. Funny." [Radd, somewhat unsurprisingly, isn't moving, and Laura's rolling back and forth, clutching her left leg, which she presumably tweaked on the way down. Katia, meanwhile, is finally back up to her feet, but decides not to bother following her opponents to the ringside area, instead taking the time to remove one of the turnbuckle pads as the ref is too busy checking on Radd and Laura.] JLT: "When will we ever hire a referee that remembers to put in their contact lenses before our shows?" Leah: "Actually, I think they all have glasses..." JLT: "Oh. Why? That's impractical in so active an environment..." Leah: "Not to mention they're totally not flattering on faces like that." [As Laura pulls herself up, using the apron for support, Katia scoots over and drags her into the ring by - yup - her hair. Ignoring whatever the ref might say, she continues to pull, forcing Laura all the way over to the exposed turnbuckle and, with a laugh, rams Laura's head right into - wait! Laura braced her injured leg against the second rope, and drives a few sharp elbow strikes into Katia's midsection to break her grip. With Katia winded, the Queen of Wrestling hooks up for a front Suplex and lifts - but her leg gives out under the weight and she drops Katia back down.] JLT: "Laura's got a lot of willpower, but sometimes, your body just screams 'no', and - " Leah: "Is that like when your man's givin' you the bedroom eyes and you just don't feel like it tonight?" JLT: "Er..." [Katia runs for the ropes - ] [THWACK!] [Then collapses as something hits her square on the forehead. It's...] Leah: "SHOE! Finally, something interesting to talk about!" JLT: "Totally Radd just gained a measure of revenge!" [At ringside, Radd grins, and then slumps back to the floor, still dizzied. Katia touches her forehead, now bleeding slightly thanks to Radd's heel, then clambers back to her feet - to be met with a kneelift to the gut from Laura, who follows through by hooking Katia's head between her thighs, then lifts her up onto her shoulders...turns very carefully...then drops Katia with a Jackknife Powerbomb, falling as she does so! Luckily, she falls on top of Katia... [1] [2] [3] John Roe: "Your winner, by pinfall...Laura Seton!" JLT: "That Powerbomb had to have been hell on her leg, but Laura managed to notch up the win nonetheless." Leah: "I'm still more interested in that strappy heel than The Amazing Bore-O-Girl, thanks." JLT: "Fetish much?" [Laura rises up to one knee and gratefully lets the referee raise her arm, to a mostly warm reception from the audience. Totally Radd snaps her fingers in disappointment, but still manages a sneer at the expense of Katia, still KO'd from the Jackknife, before she trudges up the ramp, hobbling between heeled and unheeled feet, as Laura gently ascends the turnbuckle and does her 'L' pose for the crowd.] Backstage Joe Ragnal is shown with mic in hand and smile on his face something that has made him famous here in the Divas Unleashed. Joe places the mic up to his mouth as he begins to speak. Joe: Hi, I’m here with a young lady who is becoming quite the icon here in Divas Unleashed and out. She has made me one of the newest stars here on Divas Unleashed and well I’m pretty happy to be interviewing her for the first time ever since getting this gig. Everyone the Hottie with one hell of a body. Miss KibbyD! KibbyD is now shown on the camera smiling with Joe, she gives him a hug and a kiss upon the cheek. Kibby: Hi Joe how are you hun? She giggles and she places her hands upon her slim waist and awaits her question. Joe: I’m great, but Kibby you will be in action later on tonight for the Stripped Championship how are you feeling about this? Kibby: Well I’m alittle shock, since my feud with Meggie I haven’t been too much worried about a title. Now I guess I have to get my mind out of the gutter that is Tecky and worry about bigger things. Joe: So your not afraid of Crystal beating you? Kibby eyes widen as she looks at Joe. Kibby: Whoa, Joe…who said anything about Crystal beating me? I’m KibbyD I’ll burn the bitch with my hawtness if I have too. The only thing I’m afraid about is Crystal sitting on me and killing me. She so needs to drops some weight did you know that she has her own orbit? Joe: Um..no I didn’t. But okay it works, so what about you and Tecky is the beef over? Kibby: Listen, Tecky just needs spotlight so she wanted to mess with me for alittle no biggie. I crushed her little dreams in the music business, and well I slept with her hubby. Hell I would even end her career if I had the chance. Joe: You would end her career? Kibby: Um, hello…if you need any examples watch what I do to Crystal. Wait I might not have to do anything we have donuts tonight. Yay. Kibby giggles as she places her index finger up to her lip. Joe: Well.. Kibby cuts him off. Kibby: Joe, I’m sorry to cut this short but I do have to get ready. Go buy my album it number one, oh and congrats. Kisses! Kibby blows a kiss towards Joe as she leaves set. Joe watches her leave as he then shrugs his shoulder as we return to ringside. Tag Team Match Bobbi Jackson & Linda Ragnal vs. Starlet Enterprises (Felicity & Meggie) JLT: Well we have what looks to be quite an amazingly heated match up heading our way as our Divas Unleashed Champion, Bobbi Jackson, teams with Linda Ragnal, against Felicity and Meggie, aka Starlet Enterprises. Leah: Let’s see a replay from last Exile when Bobbi & Felicity tore it up! [A replay of last week’s match airs over the screen.] [With Felicity now lying on the mat Bobbi signals for the pedigree, as she lifts Felicity back up and easily tucks her head under her legs. She goes to grab Felicity’s arm, but instead finds herself being flipped over, The fans are about to boo as they see the start of the reversal, but instead of Bobbi landing on her back she lands on her butt and with a surprise twist flips Felicity over as well, tucking her legs for the pin.] JLT: And there you see Felicity losing, which I don’t think went over well with her. Leah: Homegirl is going to turn this into a total bitchfest. Felicity doesn’t like Linda either, remember that date with her retard fatherbrothercousinuncle? JLT: He’s not retarded… Leah: You spill wine on Felicity, you must be. JLT: Well, that does bring up the point that Felicity and Linda Ragnal also have a history as well, so this match should be very intense. [JLT shakes her head as the sound of "Bad Girl (At Night)" by David Spoon ft. Lisa Maffia begins to play, just as the fans begin to boo as both Felicity and Meggie make their way onto the stage. They look to one another first and then go to opposite sides of the poles under the DivaTron before flipping their hair back and scoffing at the audience. Felicity & Meggie come back center of the stage and descend down the ramp, each pausing momentarily for photo opportunities, before they continue with their model struts.] John Roe: Making their way to the ring, the team of Meggie & Felicity… STARLET ENTERPRISES!!! [Meggie pulls out her sword of it’s sheath, pointing it at a fan, getting it within inches of the fans nose, as Felicity stares on in amusement before she ascends the stairs and Meggie places her sword back in it's holder, sliding into the ring, letting down the rope for her friend, and then the two divas climb up opposite turnbuckles yelling obscenities to the crowd, before removing their overcoat revealing their ring attire.] Leah: What the hell is she doing with a sword? JLT: I believe it’s part of her new persona. You know, a lot of people have changed since DU has been inactive. Leah: We weren’t inactive; all these hoes were just recovering from all their plastic surgery. [“Just A Girl” by No Doubt hits the PA as Linda Ragnal walks out on stage. She locks eyes with Felicity, her pink ribbon in full view. She takes the ribbon off as she runs down the ramp and slides into the ring.] John Roe: Introducing their competitors… from Scranton, Pennsylvania… she is LINDA RAGNAL!!! [The crowd cheers as Linda’s name is announced. Linda goes for her standard “two fingered kiss” pose, but Felicity and Meggie immediately double team Linda from behind.] JLT: Bad move there by Linda, turning her back to Starlet Ent. Leah: I told you she comes from a retarded family… [Felicity grabs the back of Linda’s head by her hair and throws Linda down to the mat, while Meggie kicks away at Linda’s abdomen. Meggie & Felicity begin to yell at Linda, as Felicity gets down and starts punching Linda in the face, when “I Wanna Be Bad” by Willa Ford hits the PA System.] John Roe: And her partner… Divas Unleashed Champion, BOBBI JACKSON!!! [Bobbi comes out from behind the curtain with her belt in hand. Upon seeing what’s going on in the ring, she sprints down the ramp, dropping her belt as the crowd cheers her on.] JLT: And here comes Bobbi! Leah: You mean here comes Boobie… look at those! Just ridiculous… [Bobbi slides into the ring, but Meggie sees her coming and hits an elbow on Bobbi’s back before she gets a chance to completely make it to her feet. Felicity has pulled Linda up off the mat and tosses her into a corner. Felicity comes charging towards Linda, but is met with a foot to the face! As Felicity stumbles back, Linda flies at her with a clothesline, but Felicity ducks and kicks Linda in the gut trying to hit a DDT. Linda reverses into a suplex, sending Felicity over the top rope! Felicity crashes on the outside.] [Bobbi has fought Meggie’s attack off and has gotten to her feet. Meggie whips Bobbi into the ropes but Bobbi reverses and whips Meggie into the ropes. Meggie comes back and leaps onto Bobbi’s shoulders for an attempt at a hurricanrana, but Bobbi releases Meggie’s legs, causing Meggie to land on her feet. Before Meggie gets completely back up thought, Linda is able to run up from behind and nails a bulldog! She covers] [1] [Meggie kicks out with ease, and the referee gets Bobbi and Felicity into their corners. Linda pulls Meggie up, but Meggie reverses around and goes for a back suplex. Linda does get very high off the mat before switching around behind Meggie and going for a back suplex of her own. Meggie is able to hold her ground and grabs Linda in a headlock. Linda tries to worm out of the hold, but to no use. Linda then tries to stick her back leg out for Bobbi to tag, but Felicity calls out to Meggie and Meggie drags Linda back to the center of the ring. Meggie tags in Felicity who climbs onto the turnbuckle and kicks Linda in the face! Linda falls on her back, grabbing her face as Meggie exits the ring. Felicity gets in a few more kicks.] JLT: Linda got a pretty brutal kick to the face just now. Leah: Really? That’s your great commentary? Pointing out the obvious? That’s all you ever say, do you notice that? JLT: All your commentary does is criticize people. Leah: Maybe if there wasn’t so much to criticize I’d have something else to talk about! [Felicity has pulled Linda to her feet and whips her into the ropes. On Linda’s return, Felicity hits a snapmare and then a dropkick to Linda’s back. Felicity signals for the Bitch Kick as Linda slowly begins to turn around, but Bobbi grabs out towards Linda and gets the tag! Bobbi storms into the ring and goes for a clothesline. Felicity ducks, but Bobbi spins around and kicks her in the gut. She hits a quick snap suplex! She rolls back onto Felicity and starts getting a few punches in before Felicity flips her over and gets some punches in of her own. Bobbi is able to shove Felicity off of her and the two divas scramble to their feet. Bobbi is able to grab Felicity’s arm and lunges her across the ring into the corner. Bobbi follows in close pursuit and Felicity uses the corner to leap behind Bobbi, but Bobbi catches her! Bobbi immediately turns the move into a Death Valley Driver! Bobbi covers.] [1] [2] [Felicity kicks out. Bobbi pulls Felicity up and Bobbi tucks Felicity’s head between her legs, in an attempt for a powerbomb. Felicity ducks between Bobbi’s legs quickly, and then kicks Bobbi in the butt from behind, sending Bobbi stumbling over and catching her neck on the 2nd rope. Felicity leaps and gets the tag in on Meggie, who immediately charges into the ring and hits a huge knee to the back of Bobbi’s head as she lays against the ropes! Meggie, proud to see Bobbi choking on the mat struts in the ring in a circle and then goes back to work. She picks Bobbi up and hits a chop across Bobbi’s throat!] JLT: She didn’t even aim for her chest! Leah: She doesn’t really have a section of chest… she goes practically from chin to boob. [Meggie then runs into the ropes and comes back to hit a headscissors take down, but Bobbi reverses into a sidewalk slam! Both divas get back to their feet after a few moments and lock up. After a few moments of back and forth, Meggie isn’t able to out muscle Bobbi and gets whipped into the ropes. Meggie reverses on the rebound with a lou these press! After getting in a few punches, Meggie gets up and tags in Felicity. As Felicity gets in the ring, Bobbi gets to her feet and goes to tag in Linda, but Meggie grabs one of Bobbi’s feet, just before Bobbi gets to Linda’s hand. Felicity immediately runs over and knocks Linda off the apron, sending her into the barricade! Bobbi jumps and nails Meggie in the face with her other foot, sending Meggie down hard to the mat. Felicity waits for Bobbi to get up. Bobbi sees her and lunges at her, but Felicity hits a drop toe hold, sending Bobbi face first into the turnbuckle. Felicity then hits a school boy and then uses the ropes for leverage!] [1] [2] [Bobbi kicks out! Felicity, frustrated, picks Bobbi up by her head, but Bobbi surprises Felicity with an implant DDT! Bobbi covers.] [1] [2] [Meggie, who is still in the ring, breaks the pin. As Meggie gets to her feet, Linda flies into the ring from the turnbuckle and nails a cross-body on Meggie! Meggie & Linda roll out of the ring from the momentum of the cross-body as Felicity and Bobbi get to their feet. Felicity gets Bobbi whipped across the ring, and Bobbi comes back and nails a spear! Bobbi covers.] [1] [2] [Felicity kicks out at the last moment. Bobbi looks up and blows her hair out of her face. Outside the ring, Meggie has grabbed her sword!] JLT: What is she doing?! [Linda grabs the other side of the sword and tries to take it from her, but in the process the sheath of the sword comes off in Linda’s hand. Meggie smiles as the now exposed sword comes out and she takes a swing at Linda! Linda uses the sheath to block the swing, and then throws the sheath at Meggie before running the other direction! Linda yells to Bobbi who is already on her way out of the ring to stop Meggie. The referee, now seeing what is going on also slides out of the ring and immediately confronts Meggie, and orders her to give him the sword.] JLT: Somebody needs to get that away from her! Leah: This is like Kill Bill! I need some popcorn… finally, some entertainment from this show of hoochie mommas. [After a few tense moments the referee is able get Meggie to give him the sword, but while his back is turned, Felicity NAILS Bobbi in the back of the head with a chair! Felicity throws the chair into the crowd where it nearly hits some fans and tumbles in the aisle.] Leah: You know, Shane may want to watch Starlet Enterprises… holding swords to our fans noses… throwing chairs into the crowd… Felicity grabs Bobbi and pulls her into the ring. Meggie points the referee into the ring, but Linda seeing what happened immediately slides in before Felicity can lay down for a pin and knees her in the face! Linda starts beating Felicity into the corner but Meggie gets into the ring kicks Linda in the back of the head after springing off the ropes! Meggie then lifts Linda onto her shoulders as Felicity backpedals up the corner and onto the turnbuckle. Felicity flies off the corner clotheslining Linda off Meggie, nailing “The Heart Attack”! Felicity goes to cover Bobbi again.] [1] [2] [Bobbi kicks out! Felicity & Meggie both get very upset at this and both pick Bobbi up by her hair. Felicity & Meggie signal for their finisher, “The Stunning Radiance”.] Leah: Looks like this trash fest is over. Time to clock out bitches! [Felicity sends Bobbi into the ropes as Meggie ascends the top rope. Felicity lifts Bobbi into a spinebuster, but Bobbi reverses into a monkey toss! Linda has gained her footing and shoves Meggie off the top turnbuckle, sending her over the ropes and she lands in the crowd!!!] JLT: Holy crap! Meggie flew into the audience! Leah: We are going to get so many law suits… [In the ring Felicity turns around just in time for Bobby to nail the Pedigree! Linda, now standing, runs against the ropes and rolls into a senton splash, nailing Felicity with “The Tidal Wave”! Bobbi covers!] [1] [2] [3]!!! John Roe: Here are your winners… LINDA RAGNAL & BOBBI JACKSON!!! Leah: Aw, what the hell man… JLT: And for the second week in a row, Bobbi Jackson has claimed victory over Felicity. And… oh here comes Meggie! Leah: Starlet Enterprises does not lose quietly! Aw hell, she has her sword again… [Meggie slides into the ring as Linda & Bobbi are headed out, and Meggie runs and drop kicks Linda, sending Linda flying face first into the mat outside! Meggie then grabs Bobbi by the hair and pulls her back off the apron. Bobbi quickly jabs Meggie in the face, sending her stumbling back, causing her to trip over backwards ontop of Felicity and drop her sword. Bobbi kicks the sword out of the ring, but Meggie still has the sword sheath in hand. Meggie jumps to her feet and cracks the metal sheath over Bobbi’s forehead! The crack loudly echoes throughout the arena as Bobbi falls to the ground, blood flowing from her forehead. Meggie curses a few times as “Bad Girl (At Night)” sounds over the PA system. Meggie stands in a victory pose yelling “That belt is mine!” before Felicity shows her out of the ring and the duo walk back to the stage. Linda rushes back into the ring, where a dazed Bobbi looks around her, as the blood still gushes down her face.] JLT: Well, Bobbi & Linda have won the match, but I’m not sure if it was worth it. Leah: Win, lose, it doesn’t matter. Starlet Enterprises target is on that Unleashed title, and Bobbi is standing in their way. JLT: Well, if they can’t beat Bobbi, I don’t think they stand a chance. {“Brackish” by Kittie hits the PA System as the crowd gets on their feet. Flashes of The Femme Fatale begin to flash rapidly on the Diva Tron as Crystal Deymonaz comes running from behind the curtain, with none other than a bottle of Skyy Vodka in one hand and a microphone in the other. The crowd cheers her on as the music slowly begins to die down. Crystal basks in the cheers for a few moments before bringing the microphone to her lips.} Crystal Deymonaz: Hello everyone! As much as I would love to go into the crowd and molest every single one of you, I have business here tonight! So, the molestation will have to wait until afterwards… {Crystal takes a sip from her Skyy bottle.} Crystal: I came up with the brilliant idea a little while ago that I wanted to go on a road trip… but! I didn’t want to have to pay for it. So, after a little ingenuity, I came up with the following, and what will be the basis for my show! Take it away! {Crystal takes another drink from her bottle as the crowd cheers and the camera pans to the Diva Tron. We hear a male voice over as images of various Divas Unleashed divas flash on the screen.} Voice-over: Sure, everyone would have loved to have Barbara Walters interview each of our spectacular divas… but Barbara’s too stuck up. {The scene pans to Crystal laying on a pool table surrounded by empty bottles. She sits up and does a cheesy smile.} Crystal: So they picked me! Voice-over: Introducing “Drinking & Driving!” {Various video clips roll, the first being a large tour bus crashing into a tree. After a few moments, Crystal emerges from the tour bus, holding the back of her head with one arm and a bloody mary in the other.} Crystal: That was a close one… I almost spilt my drink! Who the hell put that tree there?! {The clip changes to Crystal walking with various divas including Barracuda Jones, Mystika and Laura.} Voice-over: Watch as Crystal & her friends interview Divas past and present on her road trip across globe. {Crystal is seen sitting in a Taxi Cab with an Australian flag on the front of the car, her production crew members in the back.} Taxi Driver: I’m guessing you’re Americans? Anthony: What gave it away? Taxi Driver: You’re annoying as hell. Crystal: Do people talk crap about me like this when I’m drunk? I mean, right next to me? Anthony: All the time, I always wondered why you never did anything. Crystal: It’s called selective hearing and it’s a very complicated disorder… but now that I’m almost sober and this guys is talking crap about me to me face… {Crystal kicks the taxi driver in the face with her boot as the video ends.} Voice-over: Airing exclusively online at divasunleashed.co.uk! {The camera returns to the stage where Crystal is looking into her Skyy Bottle which is now completely empty, as she turns it upside down, the crowd cheering the entire time.} Crystal: Aw crap, I’ve run out of alcohol, so I’ve got to go. Make sure to watch my show! {“Brackish” hits the PA system again as Crystal runs down the ramp and hands her Skyy Bottle to a fan before running back up the ramp, waving to the crowd.} JLT: Well, it looks a very entertaining new show is coming our way via the internet. Leah: Okay, number one, internet shows suck. Number two, Crystal is a drunk who should not be anywhere near a camera. Number three, she just gave a bottle of vodka to a damn teenager! JLT: Well, it is empty. Leah: Teenagers have no tolerance; they can get high off the fumes! JLT: Fumes? From an empty bottle? Leah: Oh, like you would know… [After the match between Meggie and Felicity. Bobbi and Linda come back exhausted as per usual. Bobbi walks into her locker room, holding her title with pride after the showcase and she stops giving off a full flip of the hair before sitting down. ] Bobbi: I am so glad to be back. That match was brutal. [Linda nodded in agreement as she grabbed a towel looking to head for the showers.] Linda: Yeah it was. I’m gonna head for the showers though. I want to head out pretty early. You coming? [Bobbi shook her head.] Bobbi: Nah I better get back to Michael. He’s probably worried sick, you know he didn’t know about all of this. [Linda nodded before giving her friend a hug and then heading off. Bobbi now turns looking at her bear and the tanning oil that Meggie had brought her. The tanning oil was supposed to be a self tanner, so Bobbi decided to go ahead and use it. She needed a Bermuda glow, especially after the way she felt.] Bobbi: Yum, this smells so good. Like wildflowers. [Bobbi said as she rubbed the oil all over. She soaked it up, for the five minutes, and then went to follow the order on the bottle, and washed it off at her sink, that’s when she saw it. The hairs on her arm, have tunred a bright yellow to match the color of her hair. This making her look like a blonde pinapple. She SCREAMS!] Bobbi: MEGGIE!!!! [Linda comes rushing in as well, and sees the fiasco, and she walks over to the bottle knowing exactly what happened.] Linda: This is not tanning oil. It’s bleach. [Bobbi now glares at the mirror, before the scene fades] Stripped Championship Donuts On A Pole Match Crystal Hilton © vs. KibbyD JLT: Here we are, the main event of our first show of 2009. It’s been a great comeback so far and now we have something very DU-ish to round the night off. Leah: Donuts on a Pole? Seriously, what morons think this stuff up? JLT: Crystal Hilton defends her newly won championship against KibbyD in a Donuts on a Pole match. The object of the male is that four donuts will be hanging from four corners of the ring, and the first diva to eat all of them, will win! Leah: Crystal has this in the bag, don’t you know that Kibby never eats? JLT: I think the match was made to reference Crystal’s so-called weight problems that you and Tequila are always going on about. The girl is 120lbs, she’s not even fat! Leah: Please, you seen that muffin top? It’s almost nuclear. JLT: What? Leah: Nuclear, like a mushroom cloud spilling over those high-wasted 1999-style leather pants. JLT: You need to get your head checked. [The fans rise to their feet with cheers and whistles as the cameras now move to the view of the entrance ramp as "Luv Addict" by Family Force 5 plays loudly over the PA system. Various model shoot captures are shown over the video screen of KibbyD as they then move on to show her and her dog Daisy also. Some in ring action captures of her wrestling.] John Roe: The following contest is the first-ever Donuts on a Pole match. To win the match, you have to eat the most donuts. Introducing first, from Houston, Texas; at a weight of 120lbs, accompanied to the ring by DaisyD...KIBBYD!!! [KibbyD steps from behind the stage curtains wearing her ring attire for that night. She flips her long blonde hair with her left hand as she taunts her fans up on the top of the ramp. She giggles to her-self as she struts her way down the ramp. She passes a ton of fans that want their hands slapped. With her Diva like ways she acts as if they are not even there. She walks up the steel stairs as she stands on the apron first before jumping off the rops and performing a split and sliding under the bottom rope into the ring. As she is inside the ring she taunts the crowd by blowing kisses she then moves to the turnbuckle as climbs and taunts the crowd again. She then jumps off and awaits her opponent in the middle of the ring.] [All of a sudden “Roses” by Outkast starts playing all over the Pa system. All of sudden two spot lights are pointed at the entrance way. Crystal emerges through the curtains and is greeted by multiple pyros that start shooting off one by one. Crystal is wearing a silver outfit with the pants and tanktop. The pants however are a little bit more tighter than most would actually wear them. On her tank top is written the words "Smell the roses" and on the seam of her tights is written "Rose Whip". Flashes from cameras can be seen going off one after another as she waves to the fans in the audience. To go with her whole silver outfit is a pair of matching silver and white wrestling shoes. Before she steps inside the ring she takes a silver rose that is tied around her shoes and gives it to a lucky fan. She finally makes it inside the ring and waits in a corner waiting for her opponent to come down.] John Roe: And introducing her opponent, hailing from Long Island, New York, weighing in at 120lbs, the Stripped Champion...CRYSTAL HILTON!!! [The referee calls for the bell as Kibby stands with her hands on her hips, pouting for the audience. Crystal wastes no time and rushes at her from behind, taking her down with a shot to the head, Crystal then begins to stomp on her head. Crystal brings Kibby to her feet and elbows her in the face and whips her into the corner. Crystal follows up by running towards her but Kibby drags her feet up and boots Crystal in the stomach.] [Crystal stumbles backwards, clenching at her gut, and approaches Kibby again. This time, Kibby wraps her ankles around Crystal’s neck and then uses the ropes to propel herself forward to execute a headscissors to send Crystal flying across the mat. Kibby then stands, flips her hair, and approaches one of the corners. She climbs up onto the top rope, and stretches upwards towards a donut.] [She yanks it down off the pole and tries to take a bite out of it but from behind, Crystal grabs her by her waist, dragging her down into the ring. The donut falls from Kibby’s hands as Crystal spins her around, pulling her into a fisherman’s suplex and planting her into the canvas.] [Crystal then searches the ring for the fallen donut, she spots on the ring mat and picks it up, taking a bite out of it and squirming at the custard filling. Kibby sits up, holding the small of her back, and turns to see Crystal getting the donut with a smirk on her face.] JLT: I guess that’s one donut down! I can’t believe I’m saying that! Leah: Crystal ate that off the floor, that girl is dirty! [Kibby stands up in a huff and approaches Crystal but Crystal smears the donut in Kibby’s face, as Kibby immediately leaps back in horror at her make-up being ruined. Kibby wipes the custard from her eyes as Crystal stands giggling, Kibby then lands Crystal across the face with a huge slap that resonates around the arena and knocks the champion to her butt.] JLT: Ouch! Leah: I love a good bitchfight. [Kibby then smiles, as Crystal stands and ties up with Kibby. Crystal whips Kibby into the corner and follows up with a clothesline. Crystal then nails Kibby with some forearms to the face and tosses the blonde to the mat, adjusting her position.] [Crystal climbs to the top rope, she stands and grabs a donut from the pole, detatching it and holding it in her hands and then moonsaults backwards, landing on Kibby with the donut still in hand. Crystal then sits up and takes a deep breath, aiming to bite for the donut but Kibby snatches it out of her hands.] Leah: I bet Kibby hasn’t eaten in two years. [Kibby then rolls onto her side, covering her mouth as she forces the donut in and chews. Crystal claws at Kibby trying to get the donut back but Kibby, like a child, keeps moving to cover her mouth. Kibby then looks up at Crystal and spits the remaining food at her, giving Crystal a face-full of chewed donut and jam.] JLT: Gross! Leah: Amazing! JLT: Well, Kibby has eaten one donut and Crystal has one. I guess this means they’re even, right? Leah: Why isn’t normal wrestling like this? It’s so much funner! [Crystal swipes her face, trying to get rid of the mess and is angry at having been treated in such a way. Kibby rolls to her feet, approaching Crystal from behind and spins her around, kicking her in the mid-section and pulling her into a ‘Envy Me’ facebuster to plant Crystal in the mat.] [Kibby then stands, rolling Crystal over and jumps on Crystal’s face with her “Facial Treatment” finisher. She smiles, having made Crystal’s face even more of a mess, and then pouts for the audience, pulling some very Paris Hilton-esque poses.] JLT: I wish Kibby would actually focus for once, she loses so many matches because of these mistakes. Leah: It’s who she is, she likes to pose. I blame Tyra. [Kibby then has an idea, and immediately runs to the remaining corners with donuts hanging from them. She tears down one of the donuts and then runs to the opposite corner, grabbing the other one. Kibby then stuffs both of the donuts down her bra, and smiles smugly, having seemingly prevented Crystal from getting them.] [Crystal has found her feet, holding her chin, and is angered. Kibby then struts up towards her, talking trash, but Crystal suddenly steps forward with a thunderous ‘Lights Out’ chick kick to the face of Kibby, knocking her down into the canvas.] JLT: Oww! Leah: I bet Kibby needs some rhinoplastery after that! [Crystal then looks around for the remaining donuts but doesn’t find them and frowns, staring at the referee and wondering if the match has finished. Crystal then rolls her eyes, and leans down to nail Kibby with fists to the face and brings her to her feet.] [Crystal then brings Kibby into a suplex position, pressing their chests together in preparation for the move and realises something feels odd. She then spots the tip of a sugar-coated donut poking out from Kibby’s top and immediately her hand dives in to her top in search of it.] JLT: Oh dear… [Kibby begins screaming, calling Crystal a pervert, but Crystal manages to free the donut and almost exposes Kibby in the process. Her lips curl in disgust at where the donut has been placed and she tries to sink her teeth into it but before she can, Kibby headbutts Crystal.] Leah: Vicious! [Crystal stumbles backwards as Kibby grabs Crystal into a Russian leg sweep position, but instead of holding her arm, she tries to bite the donut from Crystal’s hand but Crystal keeps moving it away. Kibby then executes the leg sweep, and rolls it over to straddle Crystal and frees the donut from her grasp.] [Kibby then stuffs the donut into her mouth, fully, and begins to chew on it, finding it difficult to hold all of it in and then swallows the donut in one big gulp. Kibby then smiles, but then holds her stomach, starting to feel sick.] Leah: Ut-oh, she better not puke on anyone again! [Kibby then stands up, placing a foot on Crystal’s chest to keep her down and removes the remaining donut from her bra. She holds it up and twirls it around to the arena to make a point of her going to win the match. As she lowers it to her mouth, Crystal grabs her leg, yanking Kibby forwards and causing her to fall on her side as Crystal quickly stands.] [Crystal drops an elbow to the face of Kibby, keeping her down, as she spots the donut having been propelled to under the bottom rope of the ring. She quickly scuppers over to it, and picks it up, dusting it off and splits it in half, stuffing half of it in her mouth and smiling to the referee, holding her hands up in the air.] JLT: All the donuts have gone! Leah: I bet these divas will need to starve themselves for a week to shed all the weight this food will have put on them! You know they only intake 2 calories a day! [Kibby sits up, eyeing her with a furious gaze. The referee then speaks to John Roe as Crystal finishes off the donut with a smug smile on her face, Kibby then begins to protest to the referee as John Roe makes an announcement.] John Roe: The referee has declared this match…a DRAW! Therefore, the Stripped Champion is STILL Crystal Hilton! JLT: Crystal’s kept the title! Leah: Her love of food did her a favour for once! [The crowd begin to give a mixed reaction, booing for the shoddy decision but cheering for a Hilton victory. Kibby then begins to attack the referee, slapping him on the head and knocking him down before booting him. Crystal rolls out of the ring, grabbing her Stripped Championship and hugging it to her chest as she raises it in the air.] JLT: Well that was…completely pointless? Leah: Shut up, it was classic. So DU! Brought to you by Sahara Epilogue Thanks to Chad, Craig, Karlee, Kibby, Meggie for writing matches and submitting segments! It's always you guys who help out and I'm grateful for that! I hope you enjoyed the show, 2009 should turn out pretty good for us, I just hope you can show us the same enthuiasm as the staff has as I don't feel like it's there as much apart from outside of about half a dozen people. Thank you for reading! -Card Subject to Change-