Friday March 6th 2009
Singapore City, Singapore

[We cut into the arena and the fans are on their feet, cheering, thrusting their signs into the air. The theme to Exile blasts over the arena, as the camera pans away from the stage, over the ring, over the commentators and into the cheering crowd. The camera then pans around the arena to see the signs held by the fans, with the signs in an arrange of colours and messages. The director of the show picks out his favourite: "Singapore <3 Makaze!", "Let me feel Maya's boobs! Wait, she don't got none!" and "YUKU SHIRO!" are just a select few. The audience cheers as we an around the audience once more before we cut to JLT and Leah at ringside. They smile at the camera.] JLT: We're in Singapore and we're coming to you from across the globe as we continue our Asian tour! I'm JLT, and I'm joined by Leah, as usual! We have a very special show tonight! Leah: Ugh! I have major cramp in my foot. JLT: Leah, we've been warned. Keep it focused on the show! Leah: It's really bad. I swear it's because Tequila's dress code for her party was 'slutty casual' so I squeezed my beautiful feet into a pair of Louboutins and now I'm paying for it. It's really bad, I need a doctor out here! JLT: You do not need a doctor for cramp! Leah: I swear to God, I hate Asia. This place isn't even a country, it's like some weird...thing. Have you seen it on a map? And you know they've banned chewing gum? You can't chew gum here. What kind of fucked up country is this?! JLT: Anyway, Tequila has a birthday tonight but that's been overshadowed by the dramatic return of Yuku Shiro, who is back in a DU ring for one night only! Leah: Who? JLT: Oh stop it. Leah: I'll pretend to be excited. Imagine if Meggie beheads her... Singles Match Didgtiz vs. Suzie Woods As the bell rings the ladies square the ring as they begin to walk closer to each other. Didgitz wears a smirk as Suzie looks focus on how to take the young lady down. Didgitz and Suzie then lock up to start the first piece of action of this match up. Suzie tosses Didgitz on her back and pace back await for her to rise. Once Didgitz is back upon her feet Suzie runs back over only to lay her back down to the mat. As Didgitz lifts herself to her knees as Suzie runs toward her, swinging her legs around and delivering a swift kick to the side of Didgitz head. Thus knocking her back down on the mat. Suzie smirks as she goes for cover. Didgitz doesn?t give the ref the time to count as she kicks out. Suzie, drops down to the skull of Didgitz with a hard knee. She then lifts the body of Didgitz up and send her back to the mat with a suplex. Leah: Really who are these girls? JLT: Um?Diva-Stars? Leah: More that Bore and Boredom?where is Kibby and her stupid dog. They make better entertainment than this. JLT: I sense jealously. Leah: You can also feel my foot going up ya.. JLT: And back to the ring folks. During the words of Leah and JLT, the ladies both rise from their feet as Suzie connects a punch straight to the face of Didgitz. This knocks her to her feet. Leah: She sure knows how to go down well. JLT: What? Leah: I thought she like it every time she went down? She looks to be a little dazed after that one. Suzie drops a elbow to the face of Didgitz causing more pain to surface on the face of Didgitz. Suzie lifts her up and swings her to the ropes. Didgitz fires back with a clothesline and connects knocking Suzie down. Didgitz tries to quickly catch her breath as she then runs over and begins to stomp on Suzie?s body. Didgitz then pulls Suzie up from the ground and goes for a suplex, but it fails as Suzie reverses the move sending Didgitz to the ground not once, not twice, but three times with the move. Leah: Why isn?t she pinning. JLT: I think she wants to inflict pain upon the body of her opponent. Leah: Well this match is inflicting pain upon me. My eyes!! JLT: Whatever As the match continues Suzie picks Didgitz up as Didgitz fires back with a strong fist to the head of Suzie. Suzie backs up a little as the dazed Didgitz stand Suzie runs and gives her a fierce spine buster. She goes for the cover. 1... 2... Kicking and almost screaming Didgitz breaks free and pokes the eyes of Suzie only to get free to catch breath. As Didgitz uses the ropes to help herself up Suzie runs and dropkicks her right out of the ring. Didgitz hits hard on the outside, Suzie slides out and slams the girl face smack into the ground as she then picks her up and tosses her back in the ring. She rolls in after her, she climbs the top of the rope and then delivers the Pain of Life. She then goes for the cover. 1... 2... 3... The bell sounds as Suzie stands and raises her hand in victory. She then stands to her feet as the ref then raises her hand. John Roe: And here is your winner Suzie Woods!!! Suzie shoots Didgitz a look on the canvas and then struts out of the ring, eyeing up the fans before heading backstage, probably to have a beer. [The camera cuts backstage to Tequila?s birthday, which hasn?t started yet. The room is decorated with bright pink balloons, golden ribbons with ?Happy 32nd Birthday!? written in large banners but someone mistakenly has revealed her age to the world, so the 32nd has been blocked out with a permanent marker.] [Many divas stand around chatting, sipping from pink champagne as a waiter walks around with a tray full of untouched punch. [All of a sudden, ?Rolling Back The Rivers In Time? by Girls Aloud begins to play as Tequila makes her grand entrance. She struts into the room, wearing a ridiculously tight pink dress with her curls flowing and her boobs on display. Photographers stand and act like paparazzi, shouting her name as the room is encouraged to erupt into a cheer, but it?s only a half-hearted one from the divas who can be assed.] [Tequila looks unhappy, and scowls at the song being played. Barracuda, standing behind Tequila armed with a mini-wind machine which blows Tequila?s hair, is called over.] Tequila: What the hell is this? I asked for track 3. Barracuda: I know, they?re playing track 3. Tequila: Yes, but on Out of Control. I wanted track 3 on What Will The Neighbours Say?I wanted to make my grand entrance to ?Jump?, you stupid troll! [Tequila pushes Barracuda away, her big entrance being ruined by a horrible song instead of the poppers o?clock stormer she desired. Tequila clears her throat, and then smiles to everyone in the party, blowing kisses to her myriad of acquantances, many of whom shoot her looks.] Tequila: It?s my birthday! LOVE ME! [Holly Wentz approaches Tequila.] Holly Wentz: Sorry that we messed up the song, I don?t know how that happened but let me reassure you, that everything else has gone TOTALLY to plan! Tequila: It doesn?t matter. Where are my presents? [Holly freezes.] Holly Wentz: There was a?problem?with? [Holly?s voice trails of. Tequila looks furious, her eyes wide, eyebrows attempting to be sky high but failing to overcome Tequila?s botox.] Holly Wentz: Yes?umm?the presents have, umm? Tequila: WHAT, HOLLY?! Holly Wentz: They?ve gone missing! Don?t panic! We?re looking for them! We?ll find them! [Tequila places her hands on her hip, a waiter carrying a plate of nibbles walks past her. Tequila, infuriated at the mini cheese pizzas, shoves the man forward as he trips over, sending mini cheese pizzas flying all over Tiger Lily, and the man tumbling down to the floor, threatening to be trampled on by an array of razor-sharp Monolos.] Tequila: Barracuda! Where are you? [Barracuda rushes over, she notices Holly?s worried face and rolls her eyes.] Tequila: What happened to my presents?! Barracuda: Oh nothing, honey! Nothing at all! [Tequila?s eyes narrow, Barracuda fakes a smile and nods.] Barracuda: Everything is fine, and I mean fine. Totally under control, yeah, totally. Holly Wentz: We figured as you?re so popular, we?d give you all your presents at the end of the evening, that?s all. Barracuda: Yeah, that?s right. We actually have a present for you right now, look over there! [Barracuda points to the stage area, as Holly smiles and composes herself, trying to pretend everything is alright. Tequila, realises she?s about to receive a present, perks up and turns to the stage with eyes full of glee. Holly stands next to her, a proud look on her face.] Holly Wentz: We knew you wanted something special for entertainment tonight, so we contacted one of your favourite artists. It took some arranging, but they?re here tonight, all the way from the UK, it?s your favourite girl group! TA-DA! [Holly points to the stage, as the lights come to reveal 3 women standing there with microphones, Holly begins applauding which inspires the rest of the party to clap in gentle celebration. Tequila is unamused and clears her throat.] Tequila: There?s 3 white women on the stage? Holly Wentz: Yeah, there?s 3 isn?t there? It was amazing, they were available any time we wanted them. F[Tequila shoots Holly a death-stare. Holly smiles sweetly, patting Tequila on the back as Tequila?s eyes narrow at her personal bubble being invaded. Holly scowls, not understanding Tequila?s sour change of mood.] Holly Wentz: What? And they even waived their fee! They?re grateful to have you as a fan. Happy birthday, darling! Tequila: ?it?s Atomic Kitten. You?ve got me Atomic Kitten. [Holly smiles, and then realises that Tequila is seething and that she?s made a mistake. Holly then gasps as Tequila looks angry, folding her arms as Atomic Kitten begin to launch into ?The Tide Is High? to get the party started. Holly backs away, smiling sheepishly. Barracuda then gasps.] Barracuda: Ohhhh! Is there where Nuclear Pussy comes from? I always wondered about that. [Tequila turns her head slowly, pouting in rage and then sneers at Barracuda, shoving her out of the way and heading for the bar. Barracuda stands, her arm on her hip, as a staff members approaches her and whispers in her ear. Two divas approach her from behind, Maya Okosaki being one of them with Kitty Cummings at her side, who looks panicked.] Maya Okosaki: Barracuda. Is this punch?is it?home-made? Barracuda: No it?s from a bottle. [Kitty breathes a sigh of relief, holding her hand over her chest like she was about to have a heart attack. Maya looks at her knowingly.] Kitty Cummings: Oh thank god! Maya Okosaki: I told you! [The camera moves to elsewhere in the party and we see Krysta Taylor posting a giant picture of Holly Wentz, which explicitly states ?Holly? Stay away from the drinks table you fucking stupid clutzy bitch?. The camera turns and we see KibbyD chatting politely with Tara Lee who is holding DaisyD] Tara Lee: Welcome back! Me & Little Miss DaisyD have been having a super good time while you were getting better in the hospital. Weren?t we snookums?! Time to go back to Mommy! Kibby: Come to Mommy sweetheart! [Tara puts DaisyD on the ground and she walks with excitement back to KibbyD? but then turns and runs back to Tara Lee.] Tara Lee: Heh, she must?ve grown on me? Kibby: So it seems? [Tara picks up Daisy and hands her to Kibby.] Tara Lee: So? you feeling good? Kibby: Yea, so far. Although? [Barracuda walks up to the duo and interrupts the conversation.] Barracuda: Kibby, I have a message for you. Shane needs to see you in his office right away. Kibby: That boy? always wanting my tail? tell him I?ll be there later. Barracuda: The messenger said you have to come now. It?s urgent. Kibby: Why? Ohh? the birthday girl is preoccupied and he wants a quickie? [KibbyD sighs.] Kibby: Men. When will they learn? Fine, let?s go. [KibbyD walks off, as Barracuda turns to Tara who shrugs but sees DaisyD looking over Kibby?s should whimpering. Tara Lee gets a sad look on her face as Barracuda looks her up and down the scene cuts away.] Tag Team Match Henshin Belleza & Mercedes Vargas v Katie Kooper ? & Luna JLT: OH! This next match should really be exciting, don?t you think Leah? Leah: About as exciting as the last fifteen hundred you?ve said that about. Meaning, it?s not looking to promising. [Just as this is said the sound of "Marking Time, Waiting for Death" starts up as the arena grows completely dark, remaining that way until the song starts to pick up, as in flash of red lights, a figure emerges from a cloud of red mist, clad in her mask and ring attire, as she steps slowly down towards the ring, eyes completely focused on it, as she simply steps into the ring, walking over to a corner of the ring and simply standing, staying completely motionless, as the lights once again return to normal] John Roe: The following is a tag team contest. Introducing first. Henshin Belleza. Leah That bitch is scary! [Leah bluntly points out as Henshin rests in her corner, looking to not even care that her tag team partner is about to make an appearance (at least from what we can see of Henshin?s eyes). That?s when Face to Face" by Siousie & the Banshees starts from the PA system as Mercedes appears on the entranceway, hand on hip. Cheers, boos and catcalls soon greet her. Oblivious and yet satisfied with their reaction for several seconds, she flips her long hair, then makes her way to the ring. As she reaches the apron, she climbs to the turnbuckle, then turns her head back to show a determined expression-perhaps a message that her opponents will be in for a tough fight.] John Roe: And her tag team partner, Mercedes Vargas. ["Watch Me Shine" by Joanna Pacitti blasts as Katie comes up jumping around to the ring. She gets into the ring, climbs the top turnbuckle raising her arms. Then jumps down getting ready for the match.] John Roe: Their opponents, introducing first. The divas unleashed Rockford state champion. Katie Kooper! JLT: I just love Katie. She?s such a phenomenal champion. I know she and Luna are gonna put on an impressive show against these two. [The music of "Spice Up Your Life" by Spice Girls hits. The drum roll tumbles down and 6 silver pyros shoot from the ceiling and erupt on stage. "La la la, la la la la la la, la la la, la la la laaaa..." streams out over the PA and through the smoke, Luna skips out onto the stage. She's all smiles as she dances to the music. She then heads to the ring high-fiving fans on both sides of the aisle.] John Roe: Her partner. Please Welcome LUNA! [As John steps out of the ring the fans begin to cheer loudly, as JLT and Leah both begin to give their ?comments? on the match up at hand. Both Luna and Henshin decide to start the match out, though you see Luna not liking that too much. As Mercedes did pin her last week. The masked woman and Luna begin to circle one another before the bell even rings, and as it does Luna charges forward. Henshin dodges a blow jumping out of Luna?s way, only to run towards Katie knocking her off the apron and run back nailing Luna with a stiff shoulder block. Almost taking the Amazonian like woman off her feet, but she stays up. Henshin heads towards the ropes again gaining speed and hitting Luna with another shoulder this time successfully grounding her before she hops atop her mounting with forearms, as the fans grow wild over this yelling for Luna to get out of the punches.] JLT: Though it took quite some effort, Henshin was able to take Luna down. Though the fans aren?t liking this so far. They?re definitely behind Luna and Katie. Leah: I just want to see someone bleed. That would liven up my night. Hey do you have any change? JLT: For what? Leah: I ordered some nachos. JLT: Why do I even ask? [Henshin continues her assault on Luna, until we see Katie Kooper burst into the ring, grabbing old of Henshin?s beautiful hair and flipping over her head, whilst Luna scurries away just a bit for Katie to slam Henshin?s head right into Luna?s knees. Getting payback from earlier. The referee comes after Katie who obliges rather easily to his commands, feeling satisfied with her payback, just as Mercedes comes flying from her corner with an diving elbow drop, that the referee didn?t notice thanks to Katie being attended too. Katie sees the action going on, but Can?t do anything as Mercedes grips down on Luna?s hair grabbing her amrs and lifting upwards causing Luna to grit her teeth, in pain. As Mercedes drops her down and Henshin continues her previous assault.] JLT: The referee really needs to get a hold on this match. Katie and Mercedes have no reason to be in the ring at all. Leah: Stop being such a rainbow lover. Everything can?t be all pretty colors.? JLT: How does that have anything to do with being a lesbian? Though I?M NOT! Leah: You need to visit Dr. Phil. You have compulsive liars disorder! [As JLT and Leah continue their usual bickering, Luna has finally had enough of Henshin?s offense smacking her off of her with a huge forearm to the head and crawling up to her feet. Henshin stands giving an angered glance as the two begin to circle again Henshin getting ready to unleash forward, but is blind tagged by Mercedes who hops into the ring charging towards Luna. Luna is ready for her however, moving out of the way. As Luna moves, we see Katie Kooper sitting in the corner offering two feet into Mercedes face, as Luna charges back towards Henshin smacking her into the corner as she went to get out of the ring. Just then Katie hops down grabbing hold of Mercedes arm, and lifting her back to her feet, as Luna grabs hold of Henshin?s slinging both ladies into one another in the center of the ring. They both hit and fall flat to the ground as Luna and Katie both run back to that same general area, grabbing elbows and spinning in a circle (like ring around the rosie). Luna stops now leaping over the downed Henshin and turns back giving a cheerleader esqe stance as Katie places a foot into Luna?s cupped hands and Luna lifts flipping kate backwards in one of Katie?s signature moves (with Luna?s assistance) ?A long kiss goodnight.?] JLT: Impressive teamwork there by Katie and Luna you can definitely tell these two girls worked together this week. They?re phenomenal in the ring. Leah: *snore* JLT: Leah, wake up! [Luna now seeing the opportunity leans down giving the first pin attempt of the evening Over, Mercedes (whom she had to travel to reach). {1} {2} {Kickout!} JLT ?I really thought that was it.? Leah: ?It?s like in those movies, where you are praying they?re going to end, but then they play for another ten minutes. That?s how I feel right now. Oooh! NACHOS! [As Leah gets her snack, we see Luna climb up, now making it official for Katie to enter the ring, after getting her pin attempt on Mercedes. Katie comes in just as both ladies in the middle are climbing up to their feet. Katie offers a clothesline, and then another, taking them both back down before she goes after Mercedes who is up again and hit?s a beautiful flip neck breaker that gets the audience to their feet. As Katie goes for the pin attempt again.] [As Katie leans down, she?s suddenly met by a tackle from Makaze. Makaze slams Katie into the mat, as the referee calls for the bell, and Makaze begins to nail Katie with lefts and rights. Henshin seems to roll her eyes, and leaves the ring, storming backstage, but Luna tries to come to the aid of Makaze.] John Roe: Here are your winners as a result of a disqualification, Katie Kooper and Luna. [Luna grabs Makaze from behind, grabbing her by the back of the neck and lifting her up into the air like she was some kind of puppy. Mercedes objects to this, and after rising to her feet, she runs towards Luna from behind and nails her with a roundhouse kick to the back of the head.] JLT: Look at the power of Luna! She?s sticking up for what?s right! Leah: Yeah? Well something is sticking out in her neck that?s not right! [Travis Kooper runs into the ring and tries to protect his sister but Makaze intercepts him, her hand immediately heading for his lower regions as she takes a hold of his balls and squeezes really hard, smiling widely. Travis falls onto the canvas, writhing around in pain as Makaze picks up Katie?s championship belt.] [Mercedes, meanwhile, is beating down Luna with repeated kicks to the back of the head. Mercedes and Makaze make hostile eye contact, as Mercedes leaves the ring. Makaze then kneels down next to Katie and begins to repeatedly ram her own championship belt into Katie?s head, drawing blood. Makaze then stands up, satisified with her assault as Katie looks out of it. Makaze then uses her finger to write her name, in Japanese symbols, into the blood of Katie that is on the title belt and she smiles.] JLT: What the hell is up with Makaze?! Leah: I don?t know but I like it! [Makaze heads backstage, having ruined her rival?s match and her evening.] [The camera pans backstage again where we see KibbyD approaching Shane Rockford's Office, she stands outside the door and looks over her shoulder, unbuttoning her top. She then knocks on the door and pushes it open, and inside, we see Krysta Taylor leaning back in Shane's chair with her feet propped on the desk, as she smiles at Kibby.] Krysta: Hello Kibby, welcome back. I hope you've recovered well enough since your last match? Kibby: You're not Shane. Krysta: You're as sharp as ever. I asked you a question, have you recovered from your match, sweetie? [Kibby's eyes narrow. Kibby approaches the desk, as Krysta raises an eyebrow, tension running high.] Kibby: I sure have recovered...as you can see by my bangin' bod. It looks so much better than yours, doll. I'm back. One-hundred percent! [Krysta's tries to keep the smugness on her face but has the urge to beat Kibby welling up inside her. She removes her feet from the desk, Kibby sighs and folds her arms.] Kibby: Look, honey, I'm supposed to be meeting Shane in here. He's asked for me personally. So maybe you postpone your weekly 'keep-me-employed' blowjob to another time, k, hun? Krysta: You're so dumb, it's unbelievable. I was the one who called for you. I just disguised myself as Shane because otherwise, you wouldn't come. I know you and I hate each other, well actually, I just hate you and don't care what YOU think about me. But anyway, I'm getting off track. I have a proposition for you. [Kibby pauses, suspicion in her voice.] Kibby: What's that? Krysta: Well, honey. I've acquired some very interesting footage in my research here in DU. I overheard Shane on the phone, and it seems like he and Tequila have been covering something up. [Kibby appears intruiged, Krysta smiles.] Krysta: BUT! I know that you and I don't get along, and I'm not just going to help your trashy ass without me gaining something out of it. Quid pro quo, huh? [Kibby looks confused.] Krysta: It's Latin, you moron. If I let you in on this huge secret I've got, and it is big. I'm not bullshitting, it's complete fact. Then you'll owe me, and you'll owe me BIG. [Kibby sighs, her curiousity getting the better of her and she looks Krysta in the eyes and realises that the bitchy sparkle has disappeared and she's talking truth. Kibby then nods along. Krysta smiles, trying not to get too overexcited.] Krysta: Do you remember when that rope snapped? Kibby: You mean the malfunction that cost me the match? How could I forget? Krysta: The rope didn't snap. Take a look at this. [Krysta pulls out her iPhone, taking it from inside her bra, much to Kibby's disgust. Krysta then types into some commands, heading into her own recorded videos. The camera focuses behind the two divas, as we see a blurred woman with blonde hair and a ski mask walking on the rafters high above the arena. Suddenly the woman pulls out shears and looks down into the arena below. Below we hear the crowd below in the excitement of seeing KibbyD ascending the ladder and grabbing the final bag in the main event of Control of the Knife.] Kibby: What the hell... [The masked blonde woman waits just until Kibby is leaning her weight on the bag and cuts the rope. A thud is heard as the crowd erupts. The woman turns and runs away. She has on no shoes.] Krysta: I know what that looks like Kibby... but you can't assume... Kibby: That bitch is going to PAY! [Kibby runs out of the office as Krysta tries to stop her, but to no avail.] [The camera once again opens on Tequila?s Birthday party where the birthday girl is seen standing sipping from a cocktail, wincing at how strong it appears to be. Crystal Deymonaz stands next to her, her cut from last Exile by Meggie is wrapped in gauze and bandages. Still doesn?t prevent her drinking arm from operating at full capacity however. On the other side of Tequila, Barracuda Jones sits, approaching with a present in her hand and swinging it from side to side. Tequila squeals.] Barracuda: Look what was just dropped off last minute at the door! Tequila: GIMME GIMME GIMME! [Barracuda hands Tequila the gift. Tequila rips into it eagerly? she holds it up to the crowd where her picture is taken, along with a look of confusion on her face.] Tequila: A Letter and an Umbrella? Barracuda: It?s from Luna. [Tequila rolls her eyes. She reads the letter aloud, squinting as she feels a little intoxicated.] Tequila: Dear Tequila. I have read the stars, and you?ll be needing this, and you will reward me for from ?wentz? this comes. [Tequila looks up.] Tequila: That bitch is so stupid. And this umbrella, isn?t even fashionable. [Tequila opens the umbrella and just as it fully expands, the umbrella blocks Tequila from a wave to beverages which barrage straight towards her. Tequila puts her umbrella down to see Holly Wentz lying next to a dilapidated table and soaking wet from the spilled punch bowl and other miscellaneous drinks.] Tequila: Hrm. [Tequila shrugs and ignores Holly who starts apologizing profusely to everyone. The camera then pans to a corner of the room where we see Shane Rockford and the Unleashed Champion talking face to face. We zoom in and we start hearing them speak.] Meggie: ?since when do you let some drunken whore book matches for your show?! This whole ?haze? she is putting me through is ridiculous. And I hear she has someone lined up for me next week as well? And the week after that?! I deserve a fucking say in my matches Shane. Stop this or else? Shane: Or else what Meggie? Meggie: I?ll walk. I?ll take this belt out of Divas Unleashed and you?ll never see it again?. I?ll...!!! Shane: Alright? alright, calm down. What do you propose then? Meggie: Next week? I want a special guest referee. Shane: Who? Meggie: Of my choosing. Seriously? Last Woman Standing Tables Match? On an Exile in Asia? This isn?t a PPV and isn?t worth my time. Shane: Fine, you?ll get your guest referee. Meggie: Good? I?ll be in touch. [Meggie walks away, flipping her hair into Shane?s face before the camera cuts.] Singles Match Makaze vs. Veronica Valiant ? JLT: We have Makaze up next, fighting in her home territory. I still can't believe what did to Katie earlier! That was hideous! I don't know how this crowd can cheer her after that, I know they will though! Leah: Oh, it was just a little bit of blood. So what if Katie is in hospital now and Travis can't have kids? Let's move on. with our lives So isn't Makaze from Japan? We?re in Singapore, Jamie. Keep up. JLT: Yes, that?s why I said territory and not country. I'm not a fan of Makaze's anymore, that was just cruel, she's bitter at not being the champion anymore. Anyway, I'll try and focus on this match, this should be an interesting match as we?ve got the former Rockford State Champion taking on the current Askai Champion! Leah: I don?t know who I dislike more. VV or Makaze. Makaze?s name doesn?t roll off my tongue as well as VV does though so I might be rooting for Veronica in this match. JLT: You?re so fickle. Is that what you really base your decision on? A name? Leah: Oh honey, I never pay attention to any of this wrestling crap they do. ["The World Is Not Enough" by Garbage begins to play, the audience becomes shrouded beneath royal blue mood lighting, whilst blazing white spotlights illuminate the entire ramp. As the lyrics kick in, Veronica struts out from the back, and gives the local fans a mocking bow, whilst Jun Takada waits behind her at a respectful distance, with the Askai title held safely in his clutches.] John Roe: Introducing first...from Greenwich Village, New York, weighing in tonight at 129.9 pounds exactly... JLT/Leah: Huh? John Roe: The Divas Unleashed Askai Champion...VERONICA VALIANT! [Just short of the ring, Veronica stops and lazily extends her hand to Takada, who hands over her title belt with due deference. Veronica skips up the steps and pauses halfway across the apron to raise the belt above her head and offer a terribly insincere smile, which doesn't go down well at all, before she steps through the ropes and tosses the belt absently to the ref, then swipes John Roe's mic and waits patiently for her music to fade...] Veronica: Evening, all! Before coming out here tonight, it occurred to me that it's been a while since an assembled audience has had the pleasure of hearing my lovely voice, so you folks get the honours. [She pauses, and surveys the assembled faces; they don't look quite as honoured as she'd like them to. Veronica snorts with disdain, then shrugs.] Veronica: So...where are we this week, then? I forget. Is it Beijing? Pyongyang? Crowd: BOOOOOOO! Veronica: Guess not. Like it makes a difference; one unpronouncably-named town's the same as the next. Leah: I had the same thought earlier today. JLT: I still can't get over that '129.9' crock of - Leah: Oh, give it a rest. It's the Ozone! It really works! Just because you didn't have enough willpower to follow the plan properly... JLT: Then how come Veronica looks the exact same as she did a month ago? Leah: The camera adds ten pounds. JLT: We're at ringside! We're not watching her through a camera! [Veronica, of course, is completely oblivious to this bickering.] Veronica: So I'm guessing that most of you turned up to cheer on your hometown heroes, yeah? Like that Yoko Ono...wait, no... [Veronica glances to Takada at ringside; he holds up a card with 'YUKU SHIRO' written on it in large font.] Veronica: Yeah, Yuku Shiro. God, what a wide cunt...did you guys not hear all that crap she's been saying recently? [puts on a mock-scary voice] 'Everything you've heard about me - IS TRUE!' [back to normal voice] Well, all I heard about Yuku was something about being a goth dyke with an incredibly stupid nickname. I mean, 'Lady Fist'? You fucking kidding me? I'm sure I had that one for my Game Boy a few years back! [Veronica chuckles at her own 'joke'.] Veronica: But of course, it's not her I'm supposed to be worrying about, since Agent Orange is the lucky one who gets to beat the piss out of her tonight. Instead, I get the leftovers, in the shape of Little Mak. I don't know much about her, either - except that she can rock a massive wig when she wants to. But if she's back there right now praying to Buddha, or to Bruce Lee, or whatever imaginary construct you people choose to believe in, to guide her to victory tonight, here's some advice; your gods won't help you, Makaze. Neither will your people, regardless of how loud they cry, or your burning, seething rage for the Redhead. The only chance you've got is being better than me. And, sweetheart? I could break my own legs right now, and you STILL wouldn't be better than - [And "World Without Logos" kicks in, bringing the crowd to their feet and cutting Veronica off mid-sentence! She scowls, then reluctantly hands the mic back to John Roe so he can do his job...] [The arena flickers with blue and white light as "A World Without Logos" by Yasushi Ishii plays. Fog covers the ramp as Makaze appears at the top of the ramp wearing a random patterned kimono and holding a random BeGoths Collectible Doll. She taunts the crowd some especially the men as she feels her body up and walks with a sway to her movement on her way to the ring to a huge ovation.] [A sadistic smirk appears upon her lips as Makaze walks over to the steps and makes her way up to the apron, then she turns to face the crowd once up, and slowly licks over her lips with an evil smile still holding the doll. She then takes off the kimono and leaps over the top rope and moves to the center of the ring.] John Roe: And introducing her opponent...MAKAZE! [The lights go normal as she walks to a corner of the ring, proceeding to take her hands from feeling her body up to putting them at her side in a authoritative pose while up on the turnbuckle licking her lips. Soon walking over to her corner to put the doll aside and going to the middle of the ring to lap up the attention from the home crowd.] [Before action can begin, ?Perfect? by Mason vs. Princess Superstar interrupts the divas and attention turns to the entranceway. Krysta Taylor struts out, wearing a hip-hugging pink dress with a microphone in hand. She smiles at the audience who boo her, and then sticks up her middle finger. She brings the microphone to her lips.] Krysta Taylor: You two whores in the ring, pay attention to me. Holly Wentz is so damn retarded that I have to come and make this announcement on her behalf, and she was going to make the announcement on Shane?s behalf. He?s too busy fucking someone who isn?t his wife at Tequila?s craptastic party backstage. [Krysta smiles deviously, but the audience do not appreciate her joke as it is met with muted laughter. Her smiles dies on her lips and she looks disgusted with the crowd.] Krysta Taylor: ANYWAY. As we?re in Singapore, Rocko though it would be a good idea for you hos to get into the spirit of Singapore and honour this shitty country, he?s changed the rules of this match. So your match is now, shockingly, a Singapore cane match! Enjoy it bitches! I hope you kill each other? JLT: Wow! We?re getting a Singapore cane match! Leah: Yay! Things just looked up! [Krysta flips her hair, carelessly dropping the microphone on the stage to a large thud and saunters backstage. Makaze looks delighted with the decision while Veronica and Takada exchange glances. The referee is then handed Singapore canes from a stagehand, and he places two under opposite corners of the ring. He then calls for the bell.] [Makaze immediately turns around, picks up the Singapore cane and turns back to Veronica. Makaze wields it like a baseball bat about to strike an incoming ball but Veronica stares at her. Makaze then swipes with the cane but Veronica ducks and nips in between Makaze?s legs, ending up behind her as Makaze still has the cane in the air.] [Veronica yanks it from behind, causing Makaze to stumble backwards, Veronica then grabs Makaze?s neck from behind and plants into the mat with a reverse DDT. Veronica then picks up the cane, and heads over to the opposite corner. She picks up the other cane, holding two of them in her hands and then walks to the ropes, handing one of them to Takada on the outside.] JLT: That was a good tactical move from Veronica there, some good quick-thinking. If Makaze gets a hold of two canes, then- Leah: It would be paradise. [Makaze rises to her feet, holding her head as Veronica swings the cane, striking Makaze in the stomach. Makaze holds her gut as Veronica then uses the end of the cane to strike Makaze in the forehead, sending her stumbling backwards. Veronica brings up a boot, and places it on Makaze?s stomach and pushes Makaze backwards, causing Makaze to land in a standing position in the corner.] [Veronica then grabs the cane and approaches Makaze, holding the cane in the grip of each hand and begins to choke Makaze in the corner with her. She holds it for several seconds, as the referee seems unsure of the rules and whether choking is illegal in these matches. Veronica releases Makaze anyway and knees her in the stomach.] JLT: Veronica is really taking the fight to the Makaze, I think she?s seen Makaze?s work and knows how vicious Makaze can be. I bet she feels a little on edge facing Makaze, who is essentially DU?s hero in these lands. Leah: What about poor Maya? All that work she?s done. I like this side of Veronica. [Veronica then leans back with the cane, and aims to swing it straight at Makaze?s face but Makaze manages to duck and Veronica strikes the top turnbuckle. Makaze then quickly chops Veronica in the chest, as the crowd cheers, nailing her several times to disarm the champion. Makaze tries to snatches the cane from Veronica?s hands but Veronica refuses to let go of it.] [Veronica tugs on it from her side, while Makaze tugs it on the other. Makaze then has an idea and stops pulling so hard just as Veronica yanks the cane towards her, as Veronica falls backwards to land on her back with the cane resting on her chest. Makaze, with her hands still on the cane, manages to propel herself into a handstand from this move and then swivels around in the air to plant an elbow drop to the face of Veronica.] JLT: Ooh, nice moves from Makaze there! Leah: I?m surprised she can get so much air with those funbags weighing her down. [Makaze then covers.] [1] [2] [Veronica gets her shoulder up.] Leah: Do you think any of these people know who Makaze actually is? They?re just cheering for her because she?s Asian. That?s so racist and wrong. JLT: Who?s your favourite wrestler again? Leah: Crystal Hilton. JLT: I thought so. [Makaze then stands, adjusting her bra and heads to the opposite corner in search of the spare cane but finds it missing. She spots Takada with it on the outside, and begins yelling at him to give the cane to her. Takada shrugs as Makaze turns back to the ring to face a rising Veronica, still with cane in hand.] [Makaze approaches her, spitting in Veronica?s face and then chuckling as Veronica stumbles backwards, instinctively dropping the cane and using both hands to wipe Makaze?s spit from her. Makaze dips and picks up the cane and swings, striking Veronica hard across the face. Veronica falls to the canvas, seemingly out of it as Makaze then grabs the cane and walks over to Veronica on the canvas.] JLT: Makaze uses such underhand tactics. Spitting? Leah: I know, behind all of the bowing that these Asians do and all of the polite smiling, they?re just evil. Stupid tourists and their cameras, taking pictures of EVERYTHING. [Makaze stands over Veronica?s body, and uses the end of the cane and begins to jam it downwards, targeting Veronica?s ribs and particularly trying to plant the cane between each rib to strike the most sensitive area.] JLT: Oww! That has to hurt! Leah: Let me try it on you? JLT: No! [Makaze continues her assault, kneeling down to choke Veronica with the cane like Veronica had done to her earlier. Makaze then lifts the cane up, using both hands to ram it down onto the neck of Veronica with some painful blows. Makaze then grabs Veronica by the hair and drags her to the corner, arranging her in a suitable position.] [Makaze then signals to the crowd, who cheer for her, and Makaze is not used to this reaction so does it again, prompting a bigger cheer to Makaze?s delight. Before Makaze climbs up to the top turnbuckle, she places the Singapore cane under the corner and climbs to the top rope, ready to pull off an aerial move.] [As Makaze is climbing, Jun Takada slides in Veronica?s cane into the ring as Veronica holds it behind her side, playing possum and still trying to calmly regain her breath after Makaze?s savage assault. Makaze leaps from the top rope with a swanton bomb but Veronica holds the cane up into the air, as Makaze lands directly on it, snapping it half as she crashes through it as she half-hit Veronica?s body.] Leah: Ooh, go VV! Nice counter there, I never saw that coming! JLT: Neither did Makaze, I think she had that move nailed and Veronica was out for the count! [Makaze lies on the canvas, holding the small of her back which is now stinging. Both divas lie on the canvas, with Veronica clutching her forehead from the earlier shots. Veronica begins to climb to her feet, to booing from the audience who have started clapping for Makaze to get up. Veronica tosses the broken cane out of the ring, as the referee immediately calls for a replacement cane.] Leah: I wonder if they replacement boobs? Like if a diva busts her silicone all over the place, do the stagehands bring out a new implant for her? JLT: You are ridiculous. Leah: Nah, I see you giggling there, girl. [Makaze sits up on the canvas, but Veronica immediately nails her with a cane to the upper back. Makaze arches forward in response, as Veronica then quickly turns and heads to the turnbuckle, picking up the replacement cane and is now armed with two canes in hand. She turns around but Makaze has already found her feet and collides into her with a clothesline, knocking Veronica into the turnbuckle and causing her to drop both of the canes.] [Makaze then gouges at Veronica?s eyes, and nails her with a hard right to the face. Makaze props Veronica up onto the top rope, Makaze climbs up to join her and prepares for a frakensteiner but Veronica fights back, grabbing one of Makaze?s boobs and squeezes it sharply to the point where Makaze looks down at Veronica, and Veronica nails her with a fist, placed right under Makaze?s chin.] Leah: Right under Makaze?s chin, like- JLT: What, her boobs? Leah: No? Her throat? That?s a very uncomfortable place to be struck, that?s why I said it. Obviously. [Veronica then shoves Makaze as Makaze falls backwards from the top rope and lands in the ring. Veronica then leans down, picking up both the canes in her hands and stands up on the top rope. Makaze finds her feet as Veronica leaps from the top rope and brings both canes together to collide with Makaze?s head on either side.] Leah: Whoo! JLT: That looked painful! [Veronica then lands on top of Makaze, as the two smash into the canvas, and Veronica holds her position for a pin.] JLT: Veronica has the pin! Makaze seems knocked out cold! [1] [2] [3] John Roe: Here is your winner?VERONICA VALIANT!!! [Veronica stands with a smile on her feet, as the crowd boo her. She quickly exits the ring, reuniting with Takada, and heads backstage. Makaze lies on the canvas, as the camera cuts backstage to see a Travis Kooper, with an icepack on his crotch, smiling.] Leah: Travis is a hater. JLT: He must be pleased, Veronica served us some kind of justice. Another victory for Veronica there. Maybe we should call her Veronica Victory? Leah: No, that would be fucking stupid. [The camera cuts backstage to outside Tequila?s party, with the muffled sounds of ?It?s Ok? by Atomic Kitten being played live. Barracuda Jones approaches a nervous Holly Wentz who is pacing up and down, Barracuda wipes the sweat from her brow and whispers in a low voice.] Barracuda: Okay, I talked to some people and we?ve lost the presents. Then I was talking to Crystal. You know which Crystal I mean? Holly Wentz: What, Big Fat Crystal? Yeah. Barracuda: Well she says that she saw someone leaving with all of the gifts! It seems like they were stuffing them all into the back of the van, and the staff thought it was going to Tequila?s hotel but we called the hotel and they?re not there. Holly Wentz: Damn it! She?ll be furious! What are we going to do? I?m so nervous, she?ll fire me! She?ll fire people over this sort of thing! Barracuda: Well don?t worry, we?ll get the gifts back. Hopefully we can get her to pass out and then she won?t ask for her presents tonight and it buys us some time. I?ve been spiking her drinks all night, so she should be pretty drunk by now. [The camera immediately cuts back to Tequila at the party.] Tequila: Whooooo! What is UP peoples? LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT?S SATURDAY NIGHT! [Tequila raises her arms up in the air into a ?rock on? pose. Tequila stumbles on her feet, her eyes glazing over as some divas move away from her.] Tequila: Oi Crystal! Big Fat Crystal! Over here! [Crystal Hilton shoots Tequila a dirty look, and carries on talking to Joe Ragnal. A group of divas walk over, as Tequila starts high-fiving them. Totally Radd, Luna, Tracee Nguyen and Joe Ragnal look on as Tequila talks loudly at the top of her lungs.] Joe Ragnal: Are you drunk? Tequila: It?s my birthday, shorty, it?s my birthday. So I?ve been drinkings lotsa fabalush cocktails haven?t I? I?ve had them ALL! I?ve been wild tonight! I?ve had some Woo Woo, a Screwdriver, Between The Sheets, 69er, Sex on the Beach! Totally Radd: Oh yeah? What about an Orgasm? Tequila: No, I?ve never had one of those. [Tequila giggles, and then takes a deep breath before falling backwards, slamming into the floor and bouncing. The divas gasp and look on concerned, Barracuda then rushes in from outside and immediately begins to pick Tequila up, whose hair is now all messed up and covering her face, sticking to her lip gloss. Her face lights up with joy in a sudden realisation.] Tequila: ...did I skydive?! Tag Team Match Colleen Roades ? & Roxie Rebel ? (Rebel & Roades) vs Laura Seton ? & Tiger Lily John Roe: The following contest is a tag-team bout, set for one fall! Approaching the ring first... [?Centerfold? by Pink blasts out of the PA system as pink strobe lights start to come to life on the stage. Lily runs out onto the stage, raising her arms into the air. Two pink fireworks shoot high into the air, as Lily spins around and laughs, watching the pyro display.] John Roe: From the OC, California...TIGER LILY! [She then jogs down the ramp way, tagging as many of the fans hands as she can. She climbs the steel steps and immediately perches herself on the top turnbuckle. From there, Lily salutes the cheering crowd and backflips off the turnbuckle landing on her feet. She then circles the ring and waves to all the fans while she waits.] Leah: God, that girl?s like candy floss dripping with chocolate syrup. JLT: How, exactly? Leah: She?s so sweet she makes me feel sick. JLT: Wow, that was ALMOST a compliment! Good work, Leah! Leah: Thank y?all. No, wait, hang on...I?m confused... JLT: Lily?s getting ready for some tag-team action tonight, but it?s not with her Blonde Ambition stablemates. Instead, she?s paired up with ? Leah: The Jolly Green Giant! HA! I don?t even begin to understand that insult but it?s still funny. Cheers, Meggie. John Roe: And her partner... ?Someone said today...? [Laura throws the backstage curtains apart as she walks through them wearing a navy blue track suit with gold trim, the Stripped belt clipped around her waist. She takes a few steps then goes into a small crouch.] John Roe: From Oshkosh, Wisconsin, the Divas Unleashed Stripped Champion...LAURA SETON! KABOOM! Leah: Ear pain! [She explodes upwards, head leaned back, arms straight out to her sides as pyro blasts of red, then white, then blue, then all three mixed together go off behind her before while she nods her head in time with each blast.] ?But I'll find a way, I'll find another way of saying...? [Laura begins making her way to the ring on a slow walk, finally making it at ?...think about the lives we had together.? She puts her hands on her hips and lets out a deep breath before diving under the bottom rope and heading for the opposite and to the left turnbuckle...stopping midway to direct a hard glare at Lily, who swallows drily but doesn?t give an inch.] JLT: Regular viewers will doubtless have seen the uncomfortable relationship developing between Laura Seton and the Blonde Ambition girls; last week, in fact, the Monroes were so traumatised by Laura?s unreasonable attack on the Mistress that it was nearly impossible to extract them from under their beds... Leah: I still can?t believe they still live with their mom. So lame. JLT: They?re children at heart, Leah ? and Laura had no business treating them the way she did! Leah: Pah. If she didn?t, I would?ve. They need a good knock on the head or five. [Far from satisfied by Lily?s reaction, Laura hoists herself up onto the corner post and holds her arms in an ?L? shape ? then her head jerks sharply around to stare at Lily again, mouthing ?What??, though the word can?t be heard over the music. Just as ?Whatever Gets You Through Today? fades out, Laura hops back down ? and steps right up into Tiger Lily?s face, bellowing at the top of her lungs, easily loud enough to be picked up by the cameras ? not that much of it gets past the censors.] Laura: Hey, you *****! I said I?d ****ing **** your *** in the **** with a ****ing ***** if you **** this **** up for me, ****face! **** to your ****ing mother while I?m ****ing at it, too! JLT: Oh dear. Leah: Holy ****! [Lily, with her fingers jammed tightly in her ears, sticks her tongue out at Laura, which only serves to annoy the ?Queen of Wrestling? even more (is it actually possible for her to become angrier?), and it?s only the grace of God and the best efforts of the ref that prevent Laura from reaching across and wringing Lily?s neck. Thankfully, before things get any worse...] John Roe: And their opponents... ont familyFont size["Earth Angel" by Marvin Berry plays out of the PA as a motorcycle is heard. From a side of the stage comes Roxie Rebel riding on the back of a motorcycle with Colleen Roades in the side car. Roxie lip-syncs to the music as she holds onto her brother, Johnny, who?s driving, whilst Colleen gives an enthusiastic thumbs-up to the audience.] John Roe: From Pleasantville, New York, they are the Divas Unleashed Tag Team Champions...REBEL & ROADES! [Johnny turns left at the end of the ramp, letting his sister and cousin get off. Roxie takes off her pink leather jacket with her name on the back then tightens a hair scarf. She is wearing her black & pink singlet with white boots. Colleen pulls herself up and out of the sidecar, then reaches back inside it and takes out the Tag Team title belts, handing one over to Roxie, who takes it with apparent reluctance, scowling distastefully at the golden trinket. Colleen, in contrast, flaunts her belt with pride, like you should.] JLT: Rebel & Roades are pretty new to DU, but it didn?t take them long to claim the tag gold, and they?ve got the skills to keep those belts for a long time yet. Leah: ?Course, it helps when you keep getting booked in NON-TITLE matches... JLT: That?s hardly fair ? this is only their first team match since winning the belts at Control of the Knife! And you can?t just have title matches every week, the belts would be robbed of their prestige. Leah: Prestige? Shane bought those things for ten bucks apiece from Toys ?R? Us, then customised ?em with a couple permanent markers. The fact that nobody besides me has noticed just goes to show the kind of trash they?re letting in here nowadays... [Thankfully failing to hear Leah?s blatant lies (OR ARE THEY?!), Roxie and Colleen roll into the ring under the bottom rope. They size up the competition, whilst Laura and Tiger Lily are too busy keeping an eye on each other to reciprocate the gesture. Colleen shrugs off her sweater and tears off her skirt to reveal her ring attire, whilst Roxie simply leans back against the turnbuckle, expression unreadable.] JLT: Though it barely needs to be said, it seems Rebel & Roades will hold the advantage here when it comes to team play; Laura and Lily clearly don?t even want to be in the same state as one another, never mind share a ring. [The bell rings, and Colleen begs Roxie to let her start this one; thinking it over for a moment, miss Rebel acquiesces with a nod, stepping out onto the apron as Colleen starts to warm up, skipping back and forth on the spot. On the other side of the ring, Laura points dramatically to the apron with one index finger, then screams at Lily to ?stand the **** over there?. Lily responds by joining her hands together in a ?W? shape, before complying with the demand, slipping her heels off once she?s perched on the apron. Hurriedly, the ref gathers up the competitors? various title belts and hands them to the timekeeper, returning to his position just as Laura arrogantly marches forwards with one hand extended toward Colleen?s head, continuing to yell obscenities and generally lower the tone ? but she?s cut off when Colleen propels her across the ring with an Arm Drag! The impact barely fazes Laura, but the fact she was hit at all stuns her, and she remains stationary for a moment longer than she intended after rolling up to one knee ? and Colleen rushes in to deliver a Front Dropkick right to Laura?s face! And there?s a quick cover - ] [1] [Kickout!] [Laura rolls over, but Colleen captures her in a side headlock to prevent her escape. Laura snarls in frustration, but manages to get her legs under herself, and pushes both herself and Colleen up to a standing position. A few forearm strikes to Roades? midsection make her slacken her grip, before Laura shoves her towards the ropes; after the rebound, Colleen finds herself heading towards a stooped-over Laura, and quickly vaults over her, rolling her up into a Sunset Flip pin!] [1] [Another kickout!] [This time, Colleen grabs hold of Laura?s wrist, and as the lanky all-round athlete picks herself up, Colleen twists into an Arm Wrench, drawing a grunt of pain from between Laura?s gritted teeth.] JLT: Good work by Colleen Roades here, she?s managing to keep Laura off-balance and take that power game away from the larger woman. Leah: Pity; a little Hulk-Smash from the basketball psycho would go a long way towards keeping me awake. [Roades gives the arm another good jerk ? then Laura spins in the opposite direction from how her arm is twisted, relieving the pressure, and pulls Colleen in ? Sidewalk Slam! And a cover!] [1] [2 ? Kickout!] JLT: And there?s just one reason why Colleen had the right idea! Leah: If it was the right idea, why?d she just get flattened? JLT: Sometimes, even the best plans don?t work out the way you want them to. Leah: True, true ? I originally planned to have Li?l Kim as my broadcast partner. Instead, I get you. [Laura?s face breaks into her typical winning smile again as she rolls back to her feet and looks down at the dazed Colleen, before dropping a pointed elbow across her shoulderblades. Following through, Laura presses one knee into Roades? back, then twists her arm back into a Fujiwara armbar. Colleen shakes her head ?no? to the ref, and reaches out to the ropes with straining fingers, whilst Laura...ignores her, in favour of shouting across the ring at Tiger Lily again.] Leah: Altogether now...****! JLT: It would be wise for Laura to just ignore her, uh, ?partner? for the time being and focus on ? look! Roxie Rebel?s got hold of Colleen! [Whilst the ref is conveniently distracted by a ticked-off Tiger Lily trying to enter the ring, Roxie slips off the apron and reaches through the ropes, grabbing one of Colleen?s flailing legs and pulling it over onto the bottom rope. Naturally, Laura also fails to notice this, too wrapped up in her own problems ? and she?s surprised when the ref instructs her to release the hold, deciding instead to argue the point...right up ?til the count of 4, when she finally stands back up again with a growl of frustration.] JLT: Totally illegal move it may have been, but taking advantage of the discord between Laura and Lily was exceptionally cunning. Leah: ?Taking advantage? of Laura ? JLT: Do NOT go there. [Colleen pushes herself up to one knee, just in time for Laura to rush her and ? no, Colleen rolls forward on her shoulder, she?s up behind Laura ? released German Suplex throws the ?Queen of Wrestling? through the air and right down on her head! Still shaking the stiffness from her arm, Colleen quickly steps back over to her corner and tags in an eager Roxie, who dashes across the ring and viciously kicks Laura in the ribs with a shriek of triumph. Ms. Seton gasps in shock and rolls over onto her back, before frantically covering her face as Roxie stomps away at every reachable square inch of her body without relent.] JLT: Quite the contrast between the tag champs; Colleen gives her opponent due respect and plays a careful, technical game, whereas Rebel ? Leah: Is completely mad, yeah, we noticed. Is it just me, or is the freakshow population around here slowly increasing with each passing month? First there was the masked bitch, then these two, and that moon-fetishist...are we doomed to never see a proper divah again?! JLT: Overreacting much? And anyway, it?s their life, they can live it how they want. Roxie pulling Laura up by the hair now ? and Tiger Lily?s desperate for a tag... [Lily makes a wild lunge with one hand, but Roxie carefully keeps Laura outside of her sort-of partner?s reach, then whips her across the ring and catches her on the rebound ? Rockabilly Twirl! Roxie hooks the leg...] [1] [2] [Kickout!] [Roxie looks like she?s about to scream something rude in anger, but covers her mouth with one hand at the last moment; proper ?50s girls have manners, after all. She returns to her feet, then spreads her arms wide as Laura sits up, with her back to Roxie, trying to shake some cobwebs out of her skull. Slowly, Ms. Seton pushes herself up, still failing to notice Roxie lurking behind her...] JLT: Roxie looks like she?s got the Pleasantville Dream in mind; that could bring an end to this match real quick! [Just as Laura reaches a vertical base, Roxie...STRIKES!] [AND MISSES!] JLT: Holy copper-plated glove-slapping grandma, I barely even saw Laura move! Path: Toggle HTML Editor[Roxie blinks, then looks down at Laura, who abruptly did the splits after somehow sensing the imminent danger! (spidey-sense?) Then, just as quickly, the ballin? chick throws her head back, smacking straight into Rebel?s nose! Roxie stumbles backwards a step, clutching her face, giving Laura the time she needs to properly get back to her feet ? and counter Roxie?s next rush with the High Hurdle kick! Both girls are left laying on the canvas, with their partners urging them on, as the ref begins a knockout count...] JLT: Whichever team makes a tag ? Leah: - first will have the advantage. JLT: ...? Leah: You say that, like, every single time this happens. And so does everyone else in every other fed ever. Y?think I didn?t notice? [Roxie pushes herself up to all fours at the count of 3, and begins to crawl, at an agonizingly slow pace, towards Colleen. Meanwhile, Laura plants one foot firmly into the mat and hoists herself up, grudgingly...then gives Tiger Lily a long, hard look as the Blonde Ambition member continues to hop anxiously up and down upon the apron, arm outstretched and a pleading look in her eye. After a moment, Laura hobbles over to her team?s corner...extends her arm...] [...and gives Lily the middle finger!] Crowd: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHH! JLT: Of all the cheek! Lily?s willing to ignore what Laura?s done to her friends for the sake of this match, and Laura just threw her help right back in her face! Leah: At least she knows a retard when she sees one. That?s one extra fab point for Laura, bringing her total awesomeness rating up to...one. SaveCancelClo[Lily can only stare in open-mouthed shock and disdain as Laura seemingly commits herself to working this entire match alone. Behind her, Roxie tags in Colleen, who steps into the ring and rushes Laura ? but the ?Queen? once again demonstrates the eyes in the back of her head, swiftly turning ?round to sock Roades on the jaw with a brutal Discus Punch! Colleen hits the deck, but swiftly bounces back up ? to be hoisted onto Laura?s shoulders! Laura takes a quick run-up, then brings Colleen down into an Oklahoma Slam! Cover!] [1] [2] [3 ? KICKOUT!] [Laura gives the ref a despairing glance, before pulling Colleen up by the hair and dragging her over to an empty corner, throwing her roughly into the turnbuckle and then peppering her ribs with body punches. Though the shots connect with enough force to make Roades yell in pain, they don?t fly with quite the speed one might expect...] JLT: Now maybe Laura will realise how foolish she?s being; at this rate, she?s going to wear herself out to the point where she won?t even be able to stand up under her own power... Leah: Now THAT would be funny to watch. Keep going, lanky-skanky! [After around 15 shots, Laura ceases her bombardment and takes a moment to catch her breath, leaving Roades to spend some quality time counting the stars orbiting her head. Once she?s feeling a little more spritely, Laura buries her shoulder into Colleen?s midriff and heaves her up onto the top rope, then steps up onto the middle rope herself, and hooks Colleen ? no, wait, Colleen?s fighting back, striking the side of Laura?s head with repeated forearm shots! Laura?s wobbling and she ? no, she fights back with a hard right hand; Colleen goes limp and Laura attaches a front facelock then ? SUPERPLEX!] JLT: HOLY HELL! Leah: Yay for paralysis-inducing, career-ending injuries! JLT: ...You?ve crossed the line from obnoxious to genuinely heartless. Congratulations! [The crowd applauds as both Laura and Colleen are left stunned by the move?s impact. Slowly, Laura turns over, clutching her head with one hand, then pulls herself along the mat...] [Slowly...] [Aaaannnnnd...pin!] [1] [2] [3] [...You were expecting this, weren?t you? KICKOUT!] JLT: My god - ! [Laura rolls off Colleen and lays on her front, too tired and sore to complain ? at least for the moment. Colleen simply lays still, her chest rising and falling with each deep breath taken. Roxie glowers with impatience on the apron, desperate to bring herself back into the fold, whilst Tiger Lily seems to be at a quandary, unsure whether to offer support for her partner or run in and strangle her.] JLT: Both women are really feeling the effects of that Superplex, but neither want to give in, no matter how much their bodies may suffer... Leah: Not that their bodies were worth getting excited over to begin with. Colleen?s chest is flatter than week-old Pepsi. JLT: How long have you been waiting to use that line? Leah: Since eleven o?clock last night. It came to me in a dream... [With the help of the ropes, Laura regains her vertical base, then stares down at the struggling Roades with intense irritation that blossoms into terrible, terrifying rage in a matter of seconds. As Colleen finally starts to push herself up, Laura steps towards her slowly, flexing the fingers on one hand rhythmically...Colleen turns around ? and Laura grabs her by the throat!] JLT: You?ve got to be kidding me... [Alas, Laura is far from kidding, and after spitting in Roades? eye ? ew! ? she grips the roller-dolly by the back and lifts her up into the air - !] Crowd: *gasp of teh shoxXx0r* [But Colleen wriggles free! She drops to the mat, takes a step back ? and tumbles through the ropes to the outside!] Leah: Clutz! JLT: Maybe oxygen deprivation from the choking affected Colleen?s balance a little ? Leah: Or, maybe she?s a clutz, like I just said. [Laura stands back, hands on knees and breathing deeply, as the ref checks on Colleen, whilst Tiger Lily looks slightly sick at the carnage on display.] THWACK! [Then Roxie nails Laura with a Superkick from out of nowhere!] JLT: WHOA! Hey...wait a minute...can we get a replay of that kick? Leah: We do replays? Isn?t watching this shit once painful enough for everybody? JLT: Be quiet ? look! seChange [A picture-in-picture replay ? like in 24 ? appears, showing Roxie on the apron just as Colleen falls out of the ring. Before she steps through the ropes, Roxie seems to fiddle with the laces on her boot, then taps her toe against the ground a few times...] JLT: I knew it! She loaded her damn shoe! Leah: Trying to look taller or something? JLT: It makes the kick more dangerous, you twit. It?s an illegal move, one Roxie likes to call the Roller Rink Rock... [Of course, by the time the ref turns back around, Rebel is back on the apron and nothing seems amiss, except for Lily?s noisy complaints. After some urging from Roxie, Colleen pulls herself together and rolls back into the ring, crawling over to make a cover...] [1] [2] JLT: Not like this! [3] [...] [Nuts to that. KICKOUT!] JLT: Thank god! [Disappointment radiates off Colleen, and Roxie snaps her fingers in irritation, but they remain focused, with Roades quickly pulling Laura up by the hair and ensnaring her with the Take My Breath Away! Laura?s arms pinwheel madly as her lungs are slowly crushed; try as she might, Colleen?s grip proves to be unbreakable.] JLT: Colleen might have her here ? Leah: No she doesn?t. You just jinxed her. JLT: But...I didn?t mean to... [Uncannily, it?s at this exact point that Laura begins to retaliate with elbow strikes to Colleen?s cranium, rocking her head back...then finishing off with a smart European uppercut which forces Colleen to loosen her grip! Both women stumble backwards into their respective corners ? Colleen tags in Roxie ? Laura steps forward again ? Lily with the blind tag!] Leah: And now, the match dies a slow death. JLT: Whether Laura likes it or not, it?s Tiger Lily?s game now ? and she looks ready to tear the house down! [Roxie and Lily head straight for one another ? Dropkick by Lily takes Rebel down! Roxie rolls back up in an eyeblink ? and walks into a Hiptoss! She?s up again ? but the Snaggletooth kick makes sure she doesn?t stay that way! Lily salutes the crowd to a raucous reception, then runs for the ropes, vaults up onto the second ? LIONSAULT! The pin is made!] [...] [...Uh...1?] JLT: What the ? REF! Pay attention! Leah: He can?t hear you...even though we?re only, like, five metres away from the ring. You?re not as loud as you think, apparently. [The count doesn?t come, and Lily rolls off Roxie to stare at the ref in disbelief; the official?s away in her team?s corner, restraining Laura, who isn?t remotely happy about how she was taken out of the match. Tiger Lily rolls her eyes in frustration ? then takes a chop-block from behind, courtesy of Colleen Roades! After letting Colleen help her up, Roxie pulls Tiger Lily to her feet, and drapes her across her knee in a Backbreaker position, instructing Roades to head for the corner...] JLT: With no help forthcoming from Laura, Tiger Lily?s now just a victim to the numbers game. Leah: Well, it?s not Laura?s fault if Lily can?t count, is it? Lily?s an idiot, get over it... [Colleen props herself up on the second rope ? then dives off to deliver a sharp Elbow Drop that crushes Lily?s chest! The Tiger limply falls off Roxie?s knee, and Rebel hooks the leg, just as Colleen tugs the back of the ref?s shirt before rolling out of the ring. The ref finally turns around ? and sees the pin!] [1] [2] [Oh, I can?t be bothered joking around this time. KICKOUT!] [Roxie kneads her forehead in frustration, then stumbles back up to her feet and, whistling absently, fiddles with her right boot again while Tiger Lily uses the ropes to pull herself back up...] JLT: Not again! How can she keep getting away with this? Leah: Get away with what, a kick? Ain?t you supposed to be doing stuff like that around here? JLT: It?s a loaded boot, Leah. Leah: Of course it is, it?s got a foot in it. JLT: [groans] [Laura doesn?t even bother to try warning her partner about the imminent danger as Lily steps forwards ? and there?s the Roller Rink Rock!] SWISH! [IT MISSED! Lily ducked ? almost fell ? at the last moment, leaving Roxie with one leg hung up across the top rope, unbalanced; an easy target for Lily, who hooks Rebel?s head under one arm...and drives her headfirst to the mat with a DDT! Hook of the leg...] [1] [2] [3!] [3?] [...Nah. KICKOUT!] Leah: Really getting bored now. JLT: How? This is the height of drama! Leah: There?s not been one single slap in this entire match. Hence, boring. [Lily rolls off Rebel with a sigh of disappointment, and drags the anachronistic harridan to her feet once more ? then looks over her shoulder at Laura, who?s demanding to be tagged in again. Lily considers this...then sticks her tongue out at the ?Queen of Wrestling? eliciting a laugh from the audience.] Leah: What a baby. JLT: What goes around, comes around... [Tiger Lily smirks at Laura?s enraged shrieking, then hooks her arms under Roxie?s and joins them at the back - ] THUNK! [But Roxie plants one hell of a headbutt on Lily?s face! And another, and another, and another! Lily?s left seeing stars and counting missing teeth as Roxie forces her back into the ropes and clothlines her over to the outside! Tiger Lily lays out in front of the catwalk where KibbyD is seen running down the ramp! Roxie, eyeing Kibby coming down, grabs the referees attention away from Lily. As Kibby reaches Tiger Lily she leaps into the air and comes down on Tiger Lily?s face with both feet, nailing a devastating ?Facial Treatment?!!! The crowd erupts with boos as Kibby grabs Tiger Lily up by her hair and tosses her back into the ring as Laura smirks.] JLT: Kibby just nailed Tiger Lily in the face! Leah: She cost her the Unleashed Championship. She deserves it. JLT: What?! Leah: We saw the video earlier. A no shoe wearing blonde? obviously, Lily. [Roxie pulls Lily back up to her feet then tags Colleen back into action. Roxie shifts her grip into a side headlock as Colleen takes up position in front of Lily, and Laura...] JLT: Her partner?s getting double-teamed and Laura doesn?t even care! Leah: Eh, the blondie?ll probably enjoy getting...double-teamed. Uh-hur-hur-hur... [Lily can do nothing but struggle in vain as Roxie leaps forwards into a Bulldog, and Colleen raises her knees so Lily falls into a Lungblower!] JLT: It?s the Pleasantville Turn! Leah: What makes you think I care? [Roxie stands back as Colleen makes the cover...] [1] JLT: Where the hell is Laura going? [Laura?s just stepped down off the apron, and shouts at a hapless cameraman to ?get my ****ing belt?.] [2] [3] John Roe: Here are your winners ? REBEL & ROADES! PermissionsReadWriteExecuteUserGroup[The tag champs are handed their belts back as Colleen gives her cousin a one-armed hug that isn?t reciprocated. Meanwhile, Laura gets her Stripped title back, gives the unconscious Lily one last look, then shakes her head in disdain and heads up the ramp. KibbyD then slides into the ring and gets in Tiger Lily?s face screaming at her before she is pulled away by the referees.] JLT: All credit to Rebel & Roades ? but you?ve got to believe the result would?ve been different tonight if their opponents were on the same page. Or if KibbyD hadn?t come down. Leah: Only thing I believe is that I need a drink. Hold my seat a minute... JLT: I will not. Stop ruining the atmosphere with your appetite! Leah: Eh, screw you, hag. [We cut back to the party, where Tequila has displaced Atomic Kitten from the stage and there are some remains of Natasha?s hair on the stage from their forceable removal. Tequila stands, armed with a microphone, and seemingly doing a the hoola-hoop without the actual hoop as a backing track plays music. Tequila sings, completely flatly, into the microphone.] Tequila: If you see me walking down the street, STARING at the sky, draggin? my two feet, you just pass me BY, and it still makes me CRY, but you can make me WHOLE AGAIN? [Tequila applauds herself, but the audience doesn?t applaud and Tequila looks offended. She pulls lots of smiley, elaborate faces like she?s being recorded in slow motion (like the video) but many divas at the event just raise eyebrows at her. Tequila then brings the microphone to her mouth, a little too quickly and hard, and rams herself in the face with it.] [Tequila stumbles backwards, as divas gasp again. Krysta Taylor stands with her camera, videotaping every move and giggling to herself. Barracuda Jones shouts at her to get down off the stage. ] Tequila: Girlfriend, get up here and share this stage with me! Other[Barracuda refuses. Barracuda climbs to the mini-stage but Tequila refuses to leave it, Barracuda then begins to tug on Tequila?s microphone and hands, trying to get her to come down but Tequila resists. Tequila then finally shouts ?Fine!? but Barracuda doesn?t hear her and accidently yanks her forward, flipping Tequila into the sea of divas.] [The camera struggles to move through the sea of people, as Tequila lies on the floor on top of a black-haired diva. She raises her arms up into the air.] Barracuda: Tecks! I?m so sorry! I didn?t mean to! Are you okay? Tequila: I?m okay! I?m okay! Big Fat Crystal broke my fall! [Barracuda approaches her, embarrassed.] Barracuda: Shhh! We don?t call her that to her face! [Tequila then smiles wide, and her eyes begin to close, as she falls asleep, enjoying the comfort of Crystal?s warm back. Barracuda watches her intently, as Holly Wentz walks over and the two hold each other.] [Barracuda then claps her hands, turning to the divas in the room.] Barracuda: Okay, party?s over! Get out, everyone! You?ve had your fun! Drop any remaining presents off with Holly! [Holly begins to usher people out of the room, as Barracuda breaths a sigh of relief. She takes a seat near the stage, as Holly and some security guards force the divas to move into the hallway and suggests they disperse to a local nightclub if they want to continue with their party.] [With the room emptied, Holly and Barracuda stand. Holly looks around at Tequila?s decorations and the mess left by the divas, including some split drinks, small food and even a bra is left on the floor.] Barracuda: That was close. Holly Wentz: I know, she?s out for the count. She never snores like that if she?s conscious. Barracuda: We need to get her presents back. She might go into another coma if she finds out we?ve lost them! Holly Wentz: How? Barracuda: I?ll talk to some people. Shane will know what to do. He hasn?t been around that much tonight though, it?s his wife birthday, you?d think he?d be here! Holly Wentz: Yeah, I saw him talking to Meggie but he?s been with Kibby right? What?s he doing with her? Barracuda: I don?t know, but Tequila?s not going to be very happy about that either. [Barracuda sighs, the stress of the night taking it?s toll. Tequila continues in her sleeping slumber. Holly then approaches the food table, and begins to eat for comfort. Barracuda takes a seat on the stage, crossing her legs and running her hands through the air. All of a sudden, the sound of a throat being cleared is heard.] Crystal Hilton: IS NOBODY GOING TO GET THIS BITCH OFF ME?! Last Woman Standing Tables Match Meggie Skyfyre ? vs. Yuku Shiro [The camera pans around the ring which is now surrounded by tables already set up and awaiting bodies to be smashed through them. We pan onto the catwalk to see the infamous stack of four tables. "Stronger" by Kanye West blasts from the PA system bringing the fans to their feet as Yuku steps out onto the ramp way and looks around; after soaking in the cheers of the fans she tenses up and heads to the ring with a determined look on her face.] JLT: And there she is ladies and gentlemen, Hall of Famer and former Divas Unleashed, Stripped, and Tag Team Champion, Yuku Shiro. She hasn?t been seen in Divas Unleashed since the end of 2007, and now she?s making a special one-time appearance as a favor to Crystal Deymonaz, who wants to ?haze? current DU Champion Meggie. Leah: I?m so excited! We get to see Meggie make sushi out of Yuku! The Hall of Famers are a bunch of relics on menopause anyway. It?s all about the new blood! Speaking of which, I wonder if Yuku will spray blood when Meggie cuts her ass like the Crazy 88 did in Kill Bill. JLT: For someone who claims that the ?white man is keeping her down?, you are very racially insensitive. Leah: Shut up you redneck hillbilly! [Yuku nearing the ring hops on the apron, and looks around again before catapulting herself over the top ropes into the ring.] John Roe: The following contest is a Last Woman Standing Tables Match! Making her way to the ring from . [Once in the ring she walks over to a turnbuckle climbing the second rope and slowly raises her fist into the air as the fans cheer her on. Shiro taking in the crowd one more time hops down, and proceeds to bounces off the ropes as she warms up for her match. The sound of "Dangerous" by M. Pokora hits over the arena and the fans begin to boo as the video for Meggie begins to play. She walks out from behind the curtains brushing them by with her fingers, holding her Unleashed Championship over her shoulder and her sword in her hand. She poses with her precious metals and begins to make her descent from the stage to the catwalk. A bunch of fans try to touch her, but she stays in the center of the aisle where they can?t reach her, roll her eyes as she passes.] John Roe: And her opponent? she is the Divas Unleashed Champion? MEGGIE!!! [Meggie looks up into the ring at Yuku Shiro, getting a sadistic grin on her face. Yuku returns the glare. Meggie circles to the right side of the ring and pulls out her sword to the audience. She points it at Yuku before putting it back in it?s sheath and handing it off to a ring attendant. Meggie slides into the ring and as soon as she stands is met face to face by Yuku Shiro. The arena lights up as camera flashes go off, each of them embracing this rare photo opportunity.] JLT: Well, as you can see, each side of the ring has a corresponding table with it, set up next to the crowd barricade. File VersionsWarning: Restoring an older version will overwrite the current file without backing it up. New ArchiveArchive Name Back to Contr[The bell sounds as Meggie takes a step back from Yuku and holds her Unleashed Championship over her head. Meggie then brings the belt down to her chest and rubs her fingers along her gold-plated name, mouthing ?you?re old news Yuku??. Yuku?s glare tightens and Yuku kicks the belt into Meggie! Meggie stumbles backwards into the ropes and drops her belt. Yuku then runs and clotheslines Meggie out of the ring! The crowd cheers and Yuku takes a few steps back into the ring, basking in the cheers. Yuku sees the Unleashed Championship lying in the ring and she picks it up off the ground. Meggie looks up from the ground to see Yuku holding the belt up with one hand posing for all the flashing cameras.] [Meggie becomes furious at the sight of this and pulls a chair out from under the ring. Meggie holds the chair in hand and slides into the ring. Yuku, seeing the oncoming attack, drops the belt, and Meggie tosses the chair at Yuku! Yuku catches it! Meggie dropkicks the chair into Yuku?s face! The crowd boos at the pop, and Yuku stumbles back into the corner, dropping the chair. Meggie immediately runs into the corner and spears Yuku! Meggie then does a back handstand and runs up to Yuku again, nailing a monkey flip! Meggie gets to her feet and brushes her hair out of her face, satisfied at the little combo she just delivered, and revels in the mass amount of boos she receives.] JLT: Yuku started off the match showing why she isn?t ?old news?, but Meggie has quickly established just why she is the Unleashed Champion. Leah: ? Yuku?s a hag. Meggie FOR LIFE! [As Yuku gets to her feet, Meggie shoves Yuku into the ropes and then whips Yuku across the ring. Meggie bends over, appearing to set up a flap jack, but Yuku reverses into a swinging neckbreaker! Yuku and Meggie slowly get back to their feet and immediately the two divas lock up. Yuku knees Meggie in the gut, and pulls Meggie down into a powerbomb position! Meggie reverses into a fireman?s carry, lifting Yuku onto her shoulders! Meggie starts to spin around with Yuku above her, but Yuku reverses into a tornado ddt!] Leah: I?m so tired of all these counters. Meggie! Take the bitch out! JLT: Glad to see you?re providing unbiased commentary. Leah: Just because you get your rocks off by watching this trash doesn?t mean the rest of the world should suffer. I want carnage and hair pieces flying! JLT: You need help. [Yuku gets to her feet as Meggie tries to regain her composure after the hard hitting ddt. Yuku pulls Meggie up, but Meggie scratches Yuku?s eyes! As Yuku stumbles back, Meggie grabs Yuku?s arm and using the ropes nearest to her, hits a ?Springboard Arm Drag?! As Yuku hits the mat, Meggie immediately slides out of the ring and grabs one of the readily available flattened tables and slides it into the ring. Meggie puts the table up against the corner as Yuku gets to her feet, still favoring her eyes that Meggie scratched.] JLT: That was such a cheap move by Meggie. Leah: Yea? cheap like your plastic surgery. JLT: I don?t have plastic surgery! Leah: Oh? What? Seriously? Cause it looks like? really? That leather face is natural? [As JLT puts her head on the announcer?s table and sighs, we see Meggie pick up the chair that she brought into the ring earlier. Yuku gets to her feet, and Meggie tosses the chair at Yuku again! Yuku catches it again! Before Meggie has an opportunity to fully leap into the air and deliver a dropkick, Yuku nails Meggie in the head with the chair! Meggie goes down hard onto the canvas as the crowd starts cheering for Yuku. Yuku then lays another chair shot into Meggie?s back! The crowd pops again as Yuku tosses the deformed chair out of the ring.] [Yuku sees the table in the corner of the ring and pulls it out and begins to set it up! Yuku positions the table near the corner and then rolls Meggie onto the table. The crowd begins to stir at the anticipation of what is about to happen.] JLT: So? Leah? does this? give you? wood? Leah: What the hell was that? Was that your lame attempt at being a color commentator? What the hell is your problem!? You?re supposed to be white and boring, while I?m ebony and fabulous! Don?t ever try and be funny again. Ever. Ever! JLT: ?bitch. [Yuku begins to ascend the turnbuckle and the crowd starts to go crazy. Yuku then leaps off with a ?Shooting Star Leg Drop?!!! Meggie and Yuku crash through the table as the crowd goes wild! ] JLT: Holy crap! Leah: Nooo! [Meggie lies motionless in the wooden rubble as Yuku holds her back in pain. A replay is shown of the divas crashing through the table as the referee starts his ten count.] . . . [1] . . . [2] . . . [3] . [Yuku begins to scoot away from the table and Meggie.] . [5] . . . [6] . . . [The crowd start to boo loudly.] JLT: Oh no. Leah: Aw yeah! [7] . . . [8] . . [Yuku grabs the ropes and begins to achingly pull herself up. Felicity slides into the ring!!!] . . [9] [Felicity grabs Meggie and stands her up as Yuku gets to her feet. The crowd erupts with jeers as Felicity just flips the crowd off with her free hand. Yuku seeing Felicity, lets go of the ropes and prepares to attack. Felicity lets go of Meggie, who is now coherent but still can not stand on her own.] JLT: Why is Felicity out here!? Leah: Because she?s Meggie?s Starlet Enterprises partner and because she knows Yuku is washed up trash that shouldn?t be here. That?s why! [Felicity goes to clothesline down Yuku, but Yuku ducks! Yuku then kicks Felicity in the gut and hooks her into a suplex! She lifts Felicity? and holds her! The crowd goes wild, recognizing Yuku is about to nail her brainbuster ddt finisher, ?The Life Hammer?!!!] JLT: The Life Hammer! I haven?t seen that in years! [Felicity hangs in the air, but suddenly bends her legs and gains momentum, landing behind Yuku, with both women still standing!] Leah: And you ain?t gonna see it today either! [Felicity forces Yuku into a double underhook chickenwing, and nails a backsuplex? she holds on!!! Yuku?s in Felicity?s ?Extortion Lock? submission finisher!!!] Leah: yes? Yes? YES!!! [Yuku lies face first on the mat as she squirms in the submission maneuver. Her feet are on the ropes, but this will not break the hold, as Felicity isn?t even a part of the match. Felicity starts applying as much pressure as she can, causing Yuku to moan in agony.] JLT: This is ridiculous? Leah: This is fantastic! [Yuku?s starts climbing the ropes with her feet? she?s easing the pressure on herself! As she rises, Yuku is able to get her head off the mat, and she ducks under into a somersault position, breaking the hold.] Leah: Boo! [Yuku rolls to her feet just as Felicity stands and Yuku leaps into the air for a spinning roundhouse kick! Felicity ducks! Felicity hits a jawbreaker! Yuku falls backwards into a sitting position and Felicity goes for ?The Bitch Kick?! Yuku grabs Felicity?s foot! Yuku twists Felicity?s foot and Felicity falls to the ground as Yuku locks in an ankle lock! Felicity hits a horse kick like manuvere sending Yuku flying back into the ropes where she walks right into Meggie?s ?Assassionista?!!!!!] JLT: Oh my god! Meggie came out of nowhere with her new swinging leg hook, fireman?s carry slam, ?Assassionista?! Leah: It was marvelous! [The crowd boos at the move as Meggie uses the ropes to get to her feet, smiling Yuku?s limp body. Felicity and Meggie nod at each other as Felicity slides out of the ring to bring in a table as Meggie gets in Yuku?s face calling her a ?has-been? and ?washed up bitch?. Felicity grabs one of the folded up tables outside of the ring and slides it into the ring. Meggie gets up as Felicity comes back in and Starlet Enterprises begins to set-up the table near the turnbuckle.] JLT: Things are not looking good for Yuku Shiro at the moment. Leah: I doubt anything looks good through those eyes. JLT: What the hell is that supposed to mean? Leah: You know what I mean? I saw that cartoon documentary on Asian eyes. JLT: ?that episode of Drawn Together? Leah: Yea. JLT: You?re such a bitch. [The table has been set up as Felicity and Meggie walk over to Yuku?s body and lift her up. They walk her over to the table and lay her on it as the crowd begins to boo some more. Meggie ascends the turnbuckle as Felicity holds Yuku?s legs down on the table. As Meggie reaches the top of the turnbuckle, the arena lights dim as ?Diva? by Beyonce hits the PA system and the crowd goes wild.] Leah: Oh my god? JLT: It?s Star! [Meggie & Felicity stare up at the stage waiting for Star to make her appearance when suddenly Star appears from behind the announcer?s table and slides into the ring behind Felicity & Meggie! Star shakes the top rope, causing Meggie to land squarely on her crotch! The music shuts off as Star starts pummeling Felicity with fists as the crowd goes crazy with cheers. Star then nails her ?Supernova? on Felicity!!!] Leah: YES! YES YES YES! JLT: Star is back!! [Star gets to her feet and poses around the ring for the fans as Yuku is seen getting up from the table. Yuku not having much strength, immediately grabs Meggie by the throat and tosses her off the turnbuckle through the table!!!] Leah: I think I just came... [1] . . . [The count starts on Meggie being down as Yuku and Star eye each other from across the ring. Yuku slowly walks around Meggie?s body and over to her former rival Star as the two divas glare at each other.] [4] . . . [5] . [Star extends a hand towards Yuku and Yuku stares at it before looking out into the crowd who begin to cheer, eagely anticipating Yuku?s acceptance of Star?s help.] . [7] . . . [8] . . . [The crowd suddenly starts to boo loudly as Yuku begins to reach for Star?s hand. Yuku immediately retracts her hand from Star because of the crowd booing. Yuku then kicks Star in the gut and hits a DDT!!!] JLT: What was that?! Leah: Oh my god, second orgasm... I'm cramping! [9] . . . [The camera pans over to Meggie, who after using the ropes, is now standing!!!] JLT: The fans were booing at Meggie getting up, and Yuku took it as the fans not wanting her to accept Star?s hand. Leah: No? they just didn?t want Yuku to be a cheating whore. JLT: Meggie used Felicity! Leah: That?s totally different? Felicity was just in the ring for emotional support. They?re around each other so much, I?m sure they?re on the same cycle now. [Yuku gets up from hitting the DDT and looks over at Meggie who is staring Yuku down. Meggie limps towards Yuku and the two divas get right into each other?s faces. We see Felicity behind Yuku with a chair! Yuku must have seen Meggie staring at Felicity, because as Felicity swings the chair, Yuku ducks and Felicity NAILS Meggie in the face with the chair!!! The crowd hits the roof with cheers as Felicity looks on in horror. Yuku then hits a stiff kick into Felicity?s gut and Felicity drops the chair, just as Yuku lifts Felicity up for a second time into the ?Life Hammer?!!!!! Yuku doesn?t waste much time holding Felicity in the air as she brings the brainbuster down and nails Felicity?s head right into the steel chair!!!!!] JLT: Oh my god! Leah: Damn? [The crowd loves the move as Felicity lies motionless on top of the metal chair. Yuku shakily gets back up to her feet and as she does, Yuku is met by Star with ?Supernova?!!!!!] Leah: YES!!! My girl is back! You go! JLT: It was a misunderstanding? Leah: So?! Stars back! Yay! [As Yuku, Meggie and Felicity lie motionless in the ring, Star slides out of the ring and grabs a giant ladder and slides it into the ring. She then dusts off her hands and heads back up the ramp exiting to cheers by the fans as she high-fives the crowd on the way out.] Leah: You know? Star might as well have left a gun in the ring with a bunch of suicidal people? a giant ladder? four tables stacked and waiting at the end of the catwalk outside of the ring? do I need to elaborate this much more? JLT: Both competitors are laid out inside if the ring, Meggie being knocked down by an inadvertent chair shot by Felicity, and Yuku is down from a "Supernova" by Star. I can only guess who will be up first, and who could even dare attempt to drive someone yet again through a table. Leah: Well? while we await some sort of coherence from Meggie and Yuku, here are some highlights of the match thus far. I can?t believe we?re using this as filler? [?Divas Unleashed Replay? takes over the screen as several vids play from earlier in the match. We see Yuku hitting the ?Shooting Star Leg Drop? on Meggie through the table, Felicity?s arrival in the ring to save Meggie, Yuku countering Felicity?s ?Extortion Lock?, Star?s return, Yuku throwing Meggie off the turnbuckle through a table, Yuku DDTing Star, Felicity inadvertently hitting Meggie with a chair, Yuku hitting the ?Life Hammer? on Felicity onto a chair, and finally Star hitting the ?Supernova? on Yuku before sliding a giant ladder into the ring.] Leah: ?you know, we could have just showed these clips rather than the actual match. JLT: Yea, but then were would the excitement be? Leah: Who needs excitement? I just want the summarized version of everything. I mean come on, everyone has A.D.D. or A.D.H.D?. we can?t focus on this crap all the time! JLT: We?d probably also be fired since they wouldn?t need us anymore. Leah: ? I?m just kidding! Clips suck! We?re never going to show them again. Ever. My sugar daddy?s have been way too affected by this recession to rely on them for my new Posche. Drink Monster Energy Drinks! JLT: You whore! Stop trying to steal my ad spot! [Enough time has passed that Yuku and Meggie are beginning to stir. Yuku appears to be the first back to her feet, and she sees the giant ladder lying in the ring. The crowd begins to stir as she limps to the ladder and begins to set it up. Meggie is seen in the corner using the ropes to pull herself up. We also see some blood running down from her forehead from the chair shot given to her by Felicity.] Leah: Oh no! She?s bleeding! Crap? the one time I don?t bring a pad with me to the ring. JLT: ?we have bandages. Leah: Well? pads are funner to say in public because it makes men uncomfortable. [Yuku has gotten the ladder fully opened in the center of the ring and she then limps towards Meggie who immediately hits a Lou These press on Yuku and starts hitting Yuku in the face. Yuku rolls on top of Meggie and starts hitting punches of her own, before both divas tumble underneath the ropes out of the ring. Both divas appear to have gotten a rush of adrenaline as they jump to their feet and Meggie screams tackling Yuku into the steel steps!] [Meggie kicks Yuku a couple of times before grabbing a closed table and throws it ontop of Yuku! Meggie then dropkicks the table! Meggie seems to have worked herself into a fury as she grabs the table off of Yuku and slides it into the ring. Yuku the grabs Yuku by the hair and after bashing Yuku?s face against the apron, slides Yuku into the ring as well. Meggie gets into the ring herself and sets up the table and then smiles as she looks up the ladder. Meggie then walks towards Yuku, but Yuku hits a drop-toe hold, sending Meggie face first into the turnbuckle!!! Meggie bounces off the turnbuckle and Yuku hits a bulldog!] [Yuku then pulls Meggie up and lays her on the table set-up in the ring and looks up to the ladder. Yuku begins to ascend the ladder as the crowd begins to get on their feet.] JLT: Oh no, what is she thinking? Leah: ?She?s Japanese? she?s going all kamikaze on Meggie?s ass. That?s what they do. [Meggie sees Yuku heading up the ladder and sits up, knowing that should she go through a third table, she won?t be getting back up. Yuku is about to jump off the ladder, but Meggie then stands up on the table and begins to climb the ladder on the opposite side, causing the arena to stir with anticipation.] JLT: This is not good? [Yuku reaches the top of the ladder and then reaches over where Meggie is climbing and then grabs Meggie?s hair, pulling Meggie up! Yuku then bashes Meggie?s face against the top rung of the ladder! Meggie nearly falls backwards off, but Yuku keeps a firm grip on Meggie?s head and pulls her back to the ladder. Yuku then signals to the crowd she is going for the ?Ultra Life Hammer?. Yuku pulls Meggie up the steps and after punching Meggie in the gut starts to lift Meggie into the suplex! Meggie comes back down the steps! Meggie and Yuku crawl up to the second from top rung and Meggie hooks her arms under Yuku and tries to go for the ?Welcome To Hellywood?!!!!!] JLT: She?s going to do what Kibby D did to her at Control of the Knife!!! [Meggie turns to land the move through the announcer?s table, but Yuku headbutts Meggie! Meggie releases her hold, and Yuku then lifts Meggie into the ?Ultra Life Hammer? again!!!] JLT: Oh no! ol PanelWeb Site .htaccess Editor Archive Gateway Disk Usage FTP FileManager FrontPage Extensions Secure Server Server Information[Felicity who is on her knees inside the ring, pushes the ladder over towards the catwalk, sending Yuku and Meggie flying off the top of the ladder, through the four tables set-up on the ramp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The ?holy shit? chants start up as Yuku and Meggie?s bodies are shown to be completely covered by the four tables.] JLT: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god? Leah: ?I think I just orgasmed again... three times in one match. That's a record. Who needs a man?! . . . [1] . . . [2] . . . [3] . . . [4] . . . [5] . . . [6] . . . [7] . . . [8] . . . [9] . . . [10] [The bell sounds.] Leah: Who won? [The referee runs up the ring and talks to John Roe.] [A replay screen pops up, which shows the full detail Yuku and Meggie falling off the ladder through the four tables in slow motion. We see Meggie coming down on top of Yuku just before the duo falls through the tables.] John Roe: Here is your winner? MEGGIE SKYFYRE!!!!! [The crowd erupts in boos and the Singapore crowd begins to throw soda and beer cans into the ring at John Roe and the referee at the announcement of the decision.] Leah: Holy hell, we need to get out of here. [The arena suddenly darkens and on the Divatron these words appear.] Next Exile Meggie vs...... STAR Love, Crystal Deymonaz Brought to you by Sahara Epilogue Thanks to Chad for basically putting together most of the show for me, sorry results took so long! Thanks to everyone who contributed to the matchwriting process such as Craig, Meggie and Kibby! Hopefully you guys enjoyed the show, and it was great to have Yuku Shiro back for a one-time appearance so thanks for being up for that idea, and onto next week! -Card Subject to Change- Original Card Singapore Surprise! Friday 6th March 2009 Singapore City, Singapore Last Woman Standing Tables Match Meggie Skyfyre vs. Yuku Shiro As part of a shocking announcement, Crystal Deymonaz revealed Meggie Skyfyre's opponent this week would be none other than DU Hall of Famer Yuku Shiro, and in a Last Woman Standing Tables Match no less. It's the first time the two divas have ever fought, and how will Meggie fair against a returning legend who DU has not seen since early 2007? Will Yuku be able to waltz back into DU and earn a victory or will she be silenced, or worse, cut, by the Unleashed Champion? Tag Team Match Colleen Roades & Roxie Rebel vs. Laura Seton & Tiger Lily Rebel & Roades have done well in 2009, having captured the Tag Team Championships and earn victories over many of their contemporaries in the division but how will they fair against the makeshift team of Laura and Lily? After weeks of clashing between Blonde Ambition and Laura, will Laura be able to put aside the annoyances caused by BA to be able to team with Lily and hopefully earn her a victory? Singles Match Makaze vs. Veronica Valiant Veronica Valiant swept to victory by teaming up with Katie Kooper this week, but this week the Rockford State Champion and Askai Champion will clash in singles action. Will Makaze have further warnings for Veronica's previous partner Katie in this contest? Or will Veronica be able to continue in her rise to success? We're expecting a brutal match either way. Tag Team Match Henshin Belleza & Mercedes Vargas vs. Katie Kooper & Luna Last week, Mercedes and Henshin teamed up and managed to survive half of their team deserting them to gain a victory over Luna's team. Luna, having been pinned for the first time since her arrival in DU, is seeking revenge for this against Mercedes and has grabbed Katie Kooper to try and assist her in this crusade. Will Mercedes be able to cause another upset, or will Luna re-establish her dominance? Singles Match Didgitz vs. Suzie Woods Suzie Woods is somewhat of a thug, and so is Didgitz, so isn't this match just perfection? Didgitz has been looking to reaffirm herself within Divas Unleashed after a brief break and the same goes for Suzie. How will these two fair against each other when working in such similar methods? Or will they call a truce and decide it's better to team up? There has to be a winner though. Singles Match Kylie Logan vs. Shinjin Kylie Logan returns to Divas Unleashed to try and make a re-introduction, having previously debuted at the end of 2008. She has the honour of welcoming newbie Shinjin to the DU ring, with many eyes on Shinjin and what she is all about as always with the mystery surrounding a new diva. Who will emerge victorious in their first match of 2009? Plus + It's Tequila's birthday, and so she's having a party and is threatening to fire anyone who fails to provide one! Plus will Crystal Deymonaz have more surprises up her sleeve for Meggie? Plus Yuku is back for one night only! What else could possibly happen? Tune in to find out!