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Sunday 27th March 2005
Krysta Taylor: We interrupt this program to bring you a live interview from the uber-sexy me but also because there’s breaking news! I’m backstage here live at the scene of a horrific murder! Yes, that’s right! Someone has been murdered on DU television, it’s, heart wrenching! I’m going to do the brave thing and try to break into the bloodshed!
[Krysta bumps into the back of a medic who turns around and tells her to move away. Krysta gives him a look of disgust and rushes towards Azrael, flinging the microphone in her face.]
Krysta Taylor: Azrael! How does it feel to have your close friend viciously murdered in front of your very own Japanese eyes!
Azrael: Murdered? Amanda hasn’t been murdered, where’d you get that from? She’s just been attacked by the cowards of Double J!
Krysta Taylor: Think of the children! There’s a serial killer on the loose! Everyone lock your doors, and more importantly, stock up on plenty of tampons!
Azrael: Will you shut up and just leave us alone?
[Jade exchanges glances with Azrael as she tends to Amanda on the floor, Amanda gets to her feet holding her head, obviously concussed by the whole thing.]
Krysta Taylor: Oh my Lord! Live on DU PPV! We’ve just seen the first ever resurrection! Can you believe it viewers?! Amanda is back from the dead!
Azrael: I told you once…
Krysta Taylor: Are you the one who brought her back to life? Do you think you can now use your magical powers to find the pregnancy test thief?
[Jade’s foot suddenly flies out and strikes Krysta in the forehead making her fall backwards into the camera crew but the cameraman manages to film her hitting the floor. Amanda is then lead away by Azrael and Jade into their locker room, as we see Krysta holding her head on the floor and mumbling to herself dizzily.]
Krysta Taylor: But I was so close to marrying my latte, mummy…
-The Regime Advert-
Tag Team Championship Match
[Thanks to Sexy Amanda being previously attacked by Double J, Azrael comes to the ring to face the tag team on her own. She slides into the ring and spears Julie down to the mat, but Jessie instantly pulls her off and tosses her over the top rope. Julie grabs a chair and slides it into the ring, Azrael grabs the ring bell on the outside and slides back in. Azrael ducks out of the way of the chair shot from Julie making it hit the ropes and bounce back into her face. Jessie then snatches the ring bell and hits Azrael over the head with it.]
[Jessie and Julie dominate Azrael through out the match, even using her tag team championships to hit her over the head with. But Azrael is able to counter a chair shot on the ramp, and dropkicks Julie off of the side sending her to the concrete floor down below. Jessie drags Azrael to the stage, and whips her into the set but Jade comes from the back and assaults Jessie with a kendo stick.]
[They return to the ring, where Azrael battles in a handicap match with Julie and Jessie toying with Azrael before trying to pin her. Amanda comes from the back and interrupts a pin, Amanda then takes a metal armour case to the head of Jessie sending her out of the ring, and quickly pins Julie with her hands on the ropes. Widow Makers retain their championships.]
[After the match Amanda, Jade, Sakura and Azrael all stand in the ring, they raise each other’s arms and smile to one another looking like they’ve formed a stronger partnership, and the retaining champions leave the ring with their belts in their hands.]
[Annabelle Lee is backstage in her locker room, she is fiddling with her breasts in a full-length mirror. Pushing them up and adjusting her ring attire to them, she wears her championship belt around her waist and heads to a locker room. She pulls it opens and falls down to her feet in shock and holds her chest, with her breathing increased.]
Annabelle Lee: What the heck are you doing?
[We hear an echoed voice.]
Holly Wentz: I was looking at your, breas-belt, I was admiring your belt!
Annabelle Lee: You were looking at my breasts? What is with people around here, but you better get the hell out of my locker before I inflict some serious pain on your ass.
Holly Wentz: Can I feel your boobs? I want to know if they’re real or not?
[Holly giggles. Annabelle gets to her feet, she pulls Holly out of the locker by her hair and tosses her out of the room but she collides with the coffee tray sending it flying over it and to the floor, as she screams at the hot coffee falls all over her. Annabelle slams the door and we cut to ringside.]
Leah: I think Annabelle’s breasts are real you know, it’s not fair that Krysta Taylor started this whole fixation on them. Some women are just naturally big-breasted and just because DU is silicon valley does not mean that everyone has implants! Mine are real?
JLT: Yeah, right, sure they are. Red Bull really does give you wings, I drunk a can earlier and I flew to London to pick up a Harrods purse and now I’m back here for tonight’s show!
Leah: There you go! See, I’m glad we finally agree on something Jamie.
JLT: Well, I, also, well, don’t try flying at home kids! It’s dangerous. I know first-hand apparently…
Leah: Okay there’s agreement, and then there’s just plain bragging.
[The camera shows Mystika and Chester at a vending machine in the hallway
outside the locker room. She is putting in quarters, while her boyfriend is
pressing random buttons. She scowls and swats at his hands.]
Mystika: Chester! Stop that!
Chester: But the elevator doors won’t open…
Mystika: We’ve been over this before; this is a vending machine, not
an elevator.
Chester: But…but…
[She pushes the button for water and it comes tumbling out. She takes it,
opens it, and pulls a long sip. She smiles contentedly and puts the cap back
on.]
Chester: Are you ready for your match, Myssybabe?
Mystika: As ready as I’ll ever be. We’ll see how it goes.
[He rubs her shoulders and she smiles, closing her eyes.]
Mystika: I can almost feel that gold around my waist again…mmm, what a
tremendous feeling.
Liberty: And what a tremendous feeling it will be when I wipe your
retard-loving ass all over the ring.
[Liberty steps into the shot, followed by Ciara Demillo. The two stand with
their hands on their hips, glowering at the diva and her manager.]
Mystika: What a pleasant surprise.
Liberty: If I were you, Mystinka, I’d leave that idiot behind tonight. He
just causes trouble and I don’t want ANYTHING ruining the night I finally
get my hands on Divas Unleashed gold.
Mystika: Shove it up your ass, Liberty. He’s coming and that’s final.
Liberty: Then watch your back, girly. You’re gonna need a pair of eyes in
the back of your head.
[The two stare intently at each other before Liberty turns on her heel and
strides off. Ciara follows close behind. Mystika huffs and rolls her eyes.]
Mystika: Someone needs to get laid.
[The shot fades out.]
Rockford State Championship Match
[In a very close match, Lilith and Liberty immediately square off against each other as it turns into a Regime/Occult battle. Lilith and Liberty exchange the upper hand in the match, with Lilith and Annabelle often teaming up against their rivals during the course of the match.]
[Ciara Demillo comes down to the ring armed with a chair, she strikes Lilith in the back of the head and Liberty executes her finisher on the steel steps making the match become a three-way encounter with Chester looking on the outside. Mystika and Annabelle both execute their finishers on Liberty, and the battle turns to just Mystika and Annabelle for the title hunt.]
[Mystika uses an aerial move to ground Annabelle, when Ino suddenly climbs onto the apron saying she has something in her eye which distracts the challenger. Annabelle rolls up Mystika into a schoolboy pin but Mystika rolls backwards out of the pin, she stands up and executes her Kiss of Death superkick and leaps onto a pin. The referee counts Mystika’s pin, and she is crowned the brand new Rockford State Champion.]
Stripped Championship "Easter Special" Match
[In this Easter themed match, Laura comes to the ring and is immediately struck by an Easter egg that shatters over her head, Katrina then takes her out of the ring and tosses her into the crowd. Laura then comes back over as Kat returns to the ring, and she sits on the outside eating the eggs that are laid out on the table beside her.]
[Miss Perfect lifts up a small midget in a bunny suit and tosses him at Katrina to take her down with a body press, and the two fight with some high risk moves, and countering each other’s move. Laura looks like a zombie on the outside of the ring still, and remains there throughout the match.]
[Star and the Regime appears on the video wall, distracting MP for valuable seconds as Katrina attempts a pin. MP manages to scramble free and is able to use her finisher to secure a pin and victory over Katrina to retain her championship. Katrina gets up in frustration, and assaults Laura on the outside of the ring, slamming her body through a table.]
[“Dirrty” by Christina Aguilera plays as Andy Dick walks out from behind the
backstage curtain. He waves to the crowd and beams as he walks down the ramp
to the podium set up at the bottom.]
JLT: Andy Dick is here, America’s funny man!
Leah: You’re a funny man, too.
JLT: I’m not a man, though.
Leah: Sure you’re not.
[Andy adjusts the microphone and grins.]
Andy Dick: I’m pleased to be here to award the monthly honor to the diva who has
helped many a lonely man seek solace in the middle of the night, the diva
who turns my Hot-O-Meter past 10 and full on to 11, the diva who not only
sparkles and shines above the rest but makes Mariah Carey bitch to her
flying monkeys about being too much of a diva.
[The crowd laughs.]
Andy Dick: April’s Diva of the Month is…
[He opens an envelope.]
Andy Dick: MISS PERFECT!
[“Drama” by L7 plays as the diva struts to the podium. She takes the award
from Andy and flashes a bright smile. She says her thanks and the two head
backstage. The presenter sneaks a feel of her bum. MP glares at him and the
two escape backstage.]
JLT: Wow, MP! Congrats to her.
Leah: Why can’t I be Diva of the Month?
JLT: You’re not really a diva…
Leah: I sure am! I bitch, I complain, I cry, I pout, I constantly show
cleavage, I make headlines, AND I’m sexy.
JLT: …You’re also a pain in my neck.
Leah: How rude!
Unleashed Championship Match
[“Hip Hop Star” by Beyonce begins to play, as Star walks out with her championship belt tied around her waist. “We Hate Star” signs are thrusted into the air as the current champion walks to the ring already filled with Hope and Faith Clarkson who had made their way to the ring with no music. Star climbs into the ring, she hands her belt to the referee.]
John Roe: The following contest is scheduled for on-
[“The Watchtower” by Cult of Luna begins to play as Mya walks out accompanied by her partner Gabriel, with a look of happiness upon her depressed-stricken face. She stops on the bottom of the ramp, and addresses the ring.]
Mya: My fine divas, hello to you all. I’m so glad that this night has gone without any errors, it’s the best night I could have hoped for. We’ve had excellent matches, and a good show. This is why I’m such a legend in this company, I’ve brought DU to a whole new level and it’s bigger and better than ever. As this match is pretty match a little unfair to Star, with the Clarksons being former tag champions and that weasel Christine at ringside, I’ve made myself the special guest referee! Nobody can bring me or the Occult down-
[“Army of Me” by Bjork begins to play as the fans cheer at the video playing on the titantron as we see pictures and shots of Jaguar Yoshiko, before the woman herself walks out with her neck in a brace and a cane helping her limp out onto the stage, she has her signature sunglasses in position across her eyes as Mya turns around with a look of shock on her face.]
Jaguar Yoshiko: Mya, you have turned this company into a joke. My methods may have been uncharacteristic and traditional, but you have no way of running things, that is why DU has been so out of order and out of control while you have been running it. You think you could get rid of me? I’ll never go away from you, if you want a war, I’m going to give you one. If not chicken enough…
[Mya spits into her microphone.]
Mya: Of course I am! Bring it to the ring if you’re such a threat to me, I’m sure Star is shaking in her boots!
[Jaguar slowly begins to walk down to the ring along the ramp, she gets half way when Mya runs towards her taking her down with a clothesline. Mya begins to stomp on the injured Jaguar as Katrina and Charmion rush down the ramp to join in. All four Occult members stomp on the body of Jaguar, with Mya then leaning down and unleashing a flurry of punches into her face.]
JLT: This is crazy! How can they do that to her!
Leah: I don’t know, I’m just surprised she’s here! Oh wait, somebody else is here!
[Lilith comes from behind and tosses Hope Clarkson out of the ring into Christine, Faith turns and just exits the ring, walking out through the crowd. Star then uses her title belt to take Lilith down, striking her in her ugly face and begins to kick her. Suddenly from behind comes Miss Perfect with a chair to the back of Star, she then relentlessly pummels the back of Star until she’s finished. Miss Perfect then picks up her championship belt and the Unleashed belt and raises them up in front of the crowd.]
JLT: This is getting too chaotic, now Miss Perfect has taken out Star, what about the title match? Faith has left the ring!
Leah: I don’t know what’s happening.
[“Faint” by Linkin Park begins to play as Mya and the Occult stop stomping and look up towards the stage, Miss Perfect turns too and we see Star frowning from her painful position on the ring canvas. DU Owner Shane Rockford walks out in a suit, accompanied to by a scantily-clad Tequila who stands waving to the crowd. Shane has a microphone, and he cuts into it shouting.]
Shane Rockford: Enough is enough! This is getting out of hand, I’ve seen the Occult run DU badly since their sham of a victory, I’m the only one who can distribute power in this organization, and I’m taking back full control of my promotion from you anti-Christ degenerates right now!
[Shane looks on with a stare to Mya, who frowns and begins to punch Gabriel in the chest. Miss Perfect looks on with a satisfied smile, with both the championships slung over her shoulder, as we see Jaguar’s battered body lying in a heap on the ramp, and Shane Rockford winking at Mya to fade out of the pay per view.]
Brought to you by Rockstar Entertainments
Epilogue
Thank you to Ally, Brad and Kayin for their segments and contributions on tonight's show. I'm sorry that the pay per view is so late, and that the matches are recaps. Basically, I've had really bad personal problems this week and it's just been a very depressing time. I hope to be better now that things are back to normal in school, and other aspects of my life. But I hear all the time that how you guys have lives that I should respect, so I'm hoping that you can all understand when it comes to my personal difficulties.
Roleplaying judging was very hard in certain matches, and I hope you trust us to make the fair judgements and think of our poor judges for having to make such hard deicisions. I hope you enjoyed the show!
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