Sunday 8th February 2009
American Airlines Arena, Miami, Florida

[The camera cuts backstage to see Tequila walking to office, she sits nervously biting her pink nails, which used to be long but have now been chewed down to nothingness having spent the night pacing rather than her usual position of sitting on top of Shane’s desk with her legs crossed, a hazard for him as it prevents him from finding anything or doing any actual work.] [Inside Shane’s office, Barracuda Jones sits in the corner, watching the pay-per-view event unfold on a giant flatscreen TV. She makes a noise of disgust seeing the result of the last match, and then stares at Holly Wentz who is inching her way into the ring with a tray-full of coffee.] Barracuda: I can’t believe those oldies won. [Shane Rockford is on the phone, making plans for DU’s next trip to Japan. Tequila bursts into the room, flinging the door open and strutting in with a defiant look on her face.] Tequila: Okay peoples, drop everything! I have important news! [Shane hangs up his phone, Barracuda turns her attention to Tequila and Holly stands frozen with a look of dread on her face. Tequila’s eyes narrow.] Tequila: I said drop it! [Holly sighs deeply and lets the tray crash to the floor with coffee spilling everywhere, and Holly looks embarrassed and annoyed. Tequila smiles.] Tequila: Good, now clean that up. [Holly looks stunned and rolls her eyes, Tequila then smiles.] Tequila: I have amazing news! I just went to Kylie’s dressing room and her assistant told me that she’s coming here to meet us! Barracuda: Her assistant? You mean William Baker? Tequila: Yeah him, he’s a fucking pratt isn’t he? Barracuda: I KNOW! [Barracuda and Tequila smile at their agreement and then Barracuda excitedly approaches Tequila.] Barracuda: OMG! I can’t believe we’re about to meet the legend that is Kylie! Tequila: It’s a dream come true! [All of a sudden there is a knock at the door, and Tequila and Barracuda’s breath catches. They both approach the door quietly, clutching each other and then slowly open it, creating extra tension by peeling it back inch by inch. Tequila begins to gasp. Only to have the gasp die on her lips as Maya Okosaki stands in the doorway and Tequila sighs, annoyed.] Tequila: What the hell do you want? Barracuda: Yeah Maya, talk about a disappointment. [Maya looks confused but smiles sweetly, Tequila’s mouth curls in disgust at her niceness.] Maya: I came to talk to you about something, I know we’re heading to Japan and I have some exciting news. I managed to secure us a good deal! Tequila: I don’t give a fat rat’s Maya, we’re waiting to meet someone at our dressing room so why don’t you go away? Barracuda: Yeah, leave us alone. Go rub your face all over China or something. [Maya ignores their tones and continues in her innocence, Tequila and Barracuda both fold their arms, their faces having the same annoyed frowned expression.] Maya: Well, do you really want me to leave? It’s just I was speaking to my friend Kylie Minogue here and we agreed she could come to Japan with us and maybe open the first Exile? [Maya pulls Kylie Minogue into the shot, wrapping an arm around her shoulder as Tequila mouth drops and Barracuda looks like she’s had some kind of stroke as they stare at Kylie in awe. Barracuda begins to hyperventilate while Tequila tries to speak but finds her breath is stuttering and she can’t get the words out.] Tequila: I…I…I…I…. Barracuda: It’s… Tequila: I LOVE YOU KYLIE!!!!!!! [Tequila and Barracuda both then take Kylie from Maya’s clutches and bring her into their dressing room, leaving Maya out in the cold. They walk like they’re frail, holding onto Kylie for dear life.] Barracuda: I breathe you. I listen to you every day. Tequila: You are so amazing. Barracuda: I love you! Tequila: So do I! [Tequila looks like she’s about to cry as she hugs Kylie, and overwhelmed Kylie smiles sweetly.] Kylie: Well thank you, that is very kind. [Tequila and Barracuda continue their onslaught, their words barely coming out of their mouths.] Tequila: I have all of your albums…I was inspired by you…in everything! I can recite all of Impossible Princess…which was your best work, fuck the critics…back to back… Barracuda: I play Slow at least once a day... Tequila: I think “read my…BODY LANGUAGE” is one of the greatest lines in a song ever… Barracuda: I have Body Language and I actually liked it! Tequila: When you mixed "Free" into "Slow" tonight, I nearly wet myself… [Kylie smiles, politely.] Tequila: In short, Kylie, you are…the most fabulous woman on the planet! [All of a sudden, the sound of a throat being cleared is heard and the camera pans to reveal Victoria Beckham standing in the door-way, a hand on her hip.] Victoria Beckham: I thought I was the most fabulous woman on the planet? [Tequila and Barracuda look stunned, and Tequila’s eyes roll back in her head and she faints, falling backwards and slamming into the office floor. Barracuda gasps as she and Holly then circle around Tequila, trying to revive her.] JLT: I think that was a deadly case of too much fabulousness, huh? Leah: Definitely. Rockford State Championship Match Katie Kooper vs. Makaze © JLT: Next we have the eagerly awaited match for the Rockford State Championship, this is a feud that has been brewing for several weeks! Leah: Makaze’s just hatin' on Katie because she's a redhead. Damn Asian try-hard. JLT: How can she be an Asian try-hard when she actually IS Asian? Leah: She is one, don’t deny it. [The arena flickers with blue and white light as "A World Without Logos" by Yasushi Ishii plays. Fog begins to spew across the ramp, and the Miami fanbase begin to stir up some discontent...] John Roe: The following contest is for the Rockford State Championship! On her way to the ring first...from Yokohama, Japan, she is the current Rockford State champion...MAKAZE! [...and Makaze appears at the top of the ramp wearing a random patterned kimono and holding a random BeGoths Collectible Doll. She taunts (randomly?) to the crowd, especially the men, as she feels her body up and walks with a sway to her movement on her way to the ring.] JLT: Finally, after weeks of sneak attacks and run-ins, Makaze has to put her money where her mouth is – Leah: In a bowl of rice? JLT: - and either put Katie down like she says she can, or fail with honour! Leah: Uh, you mean ‘honor’. They don’t spell it with a ‘U’ in Japanese, doofus! JLT: But...the Japanese don’t use the English alphabet... Leah: They don’t? Heathens. [A sadistic smirk appears upon her lips as Makaze walks over to the steps and makes her way up to the apron, then she turns to face the crowd once up, and slowly licks over her lips with an evil smile still holding the doll. She then takes off the kimono, revealing burnished-gold tights airbrushed with oni designs, and leaps over the top rope and moves to the center of the ring.] [The lights go normal as she walks to a corner of the ring, proceeding to take her hands from feeling her body up to putting them at her side in a authoritative pose while up on the turnbuckle licking her lips. Soon walking over to her corner to put the doll aside and going to the middle of the ring to wait for her longtime nemesis.] Leah: God, she’s a total Godzilla-worshipping, raw fish-eating whore. JLT: Thanks for the comedy racism, Leah, I don’t know what we’d do without you. Leah: Damn straight. JLT: Probably suffer less legal troubles, amongst other things... [“World Without Logos” fades away as "Watch Me Shine" by Joanna Pacitti blasts into life, and Makaze’s face drops into a venomous scowl whilst the crowd cheer up significantly...] John Roe: And the challenger, from the Bronx, New York...KATIE KOOPER! [And Katie comes bouncing on down the ramp, hands in the air, raring to go. She exchanges high-fives with the fans in the front row as she dashes all around the ring – then stops and leans across the barricade for a group hug with a select bunch.] JLT: Katie made sure to bring her closest friends with her tonight for this, the biggest match of her young career! Leah: Aww. Somebody get me a sickbag...wait, who’s that? JLT: That would be Travis, Katie’s brother. Leah: I approve of the boy-toy. Bring it here! JLT: Hormones, Leah, hormones! Leah: Exactly – this is what I have them for! [She steps up onto the apron, then tears off her Kooper-branded sports jersey and sweatpants, revealing a simpler combo of sports bra and black skirt underneath, and tosses the discarded clothing into the crowd. Katie then vaults over the top rope into the ring, and starts hopping back and forth, mile-wide smile finally dropping as she locks gazes with Makaze.] [The bell rings, and both women begin to circle one another, Makaze throwing insults across the ring, which Katie admirably ignores. The Fiesty Redhead steps forward for a collar & elbow tie-up – but Makaze just boots her in the ribs, before rocking Katie back against the ropes with some elbow strikes, and whipping her across the ring. Katie rebounds, then hops over Makaze as the Asian sensation (or is that someone else?) lies prone on the mat; Makaze then leaps up again, but gets caught with a Clothesline after Katie’s second rope-bounce. Enraged, Makaze rolls to her feet again, only to be taken back down with an Arm Drag, which Katie holds on to apply a hammerlock, but Makaze twists out of it and floors Katie with a Clothesline of her own. Makaze pauses to get her bearings, then dashes for the side of the ring, hopping up onto the second rope and springboarding back into a Cross Body Press - ] JLT: Nobody home! [ - which misses as Katie rolls out of danger, leaving Makaze to crash-land on the mat! Katie winds up rolling all the way out to the apron, where she stands up, before vaulting onto the top rope – and flying across to strike the winded Makaze with a springing front Dropkick! Quick cover by Katie - ] [1] [Kickout!] [Katie quickly pulls Makaze up and traps her in a side headlock, which Makaze squirms in for a moment before clutching Katie by the thigh and lifting her up for a Back Suplex – but Katie flips straight over Makaze’s shoulders and lands behind her, before shoving her forwards, all the way into the ropes – THWACK! Reverse elbow from Makaze catches Katie right on the nose, and a follow-up Mule Kick knocks the Redhead down to the canvas, allowing Makaze to bridge her legs into a pin - ] [1] [Kickout!] [Makaze is thrown off by Katie, and the two roll away in opposite directions before rising slowly to their feet, more wary of each other now, as the crowd give a brief round of applause...] JLT: Both girls showing their grasp of smooth, classic wrestling technique here – Leah: Boooooooring. Make with the slapping and the hair-pulling already! JLT: That isn’t the be-all and end-all of this company, Leah. Leah: ‘Scuse me, what part of ‘Divas’ do you not understand the meaning of? [This time, when both girls approach each other, they successfully lock up, then strain against each other, jockeying for position, until Katie pushes the lighter Makaze into one corner. The ref starts to count, as Makaze is pressed against the ropes, and Katie lets go after 2 – only to be slapped across the cheek by Makaze, who then steps out of the corner and throws Katie back in her place, and starts unloading with stinging chops!] Crowd: WOOOOOOOOO! [The crowd’s enthusiasm prompts Makaze to stop short mid-chop, sneer at them, then rake Katie’s eyes instead. Katie cries out and doubles over, and Makaze seizes the opportunity by grasping the top ropes, boosting herself up, then bringing one calf crashing down on Katie’s head with a Scissors Kick! Katie sinks to the mat, and Makaze rolls her over with her toe before ascending to the top of the turnbuckle, dusting her hands off dismissively before diving down with the Satsujinki leg drop!] THUNK! [WHICH MISSES!] Leah: Ooh-yah! Booty pain. Totally sympathising with the freak-o-bitch here. [Makaze jumps back up to her feet, clutching her burning tailbone, before getting winded by a knee lift from the recovered Katie, who hooks Makaze into a front facelock, then lifts her overhead and drops her with a Suplex...then rolls to her feet and repeats the move...then does it again!] JLT: Three Amigos! Thankfully done with greater flair than CM Punk! Leah: Who? [Katie quickly drops an elbow across Makaze’s chest to follow up, then locks in a Sleeper hold, trying to wear out Makaze. However, Makaze’s still too fresh, and pulls Katie’s arm away from her throat, before standing and whipping the Redhead across the ring – but Katie counters, sending Makaze to the ropes instead – where Makaze holds on, refusing to bounce back to her opponent. Katie rushes her, but Makaze ducks and holds the top rope down, sending Katie tumbling out of the ring!] JLT: HOLY - ! I hope Katie did something to break her fall! Leah: Ah, who cares? All that’ll do is knock some of the ginger out of her head. It’s for the best. [Makaze takes a breather whilst Katie reels on the floor, clutching her back. Showing incredible resiliency, it’s only a minute or so before Katie grasps the apron and starts to pull herself up; unfortunately for her, Makaze notices, and kicks out at the Redhead through the ropes, knocking her back into the security barricade. Katie pries herself off it just in time to find Makaze on the apron, hopping onto the second rope and – ASAI MOONSAULT STRAIGHT DOWN ONTO KATIE! The crowd erupt as both women are left sprawled on the floor, the move taking a lot out of Makaze as well as its intended target.] JLT: Amazing aerial skill from Makaze! Leah: Oh yeah, knock yourself out, bitch. Smart move. [mock applause] [As the ref’s count reaches 6, Makaze staggers back to her feet, then drags Katie up and rolls her back into the ring, before quickly following her and making a cover...] [1] [2] [Kickout!] [Makaze shakes her head and yells ‘Baka!’ at the ref, before pulling Katie up again, and hooking her neck over one shoulder, then giving her a gentle, mocking pat on the cheek. She then runs for the corner, dragging Katie along for the ride, and hops up onto the top rope for the Kyouchou (Shiranui) – but Katie pushes her off and Makaze plunges to the floor – NO! She grabs hold of the top rope and stops herself, coming to rest on the apron, before swinging a right hand at Katie, who blocks it, and retaliates with one of her own. Makaze rocks backwards, but Katie grabs her by the hair and pulls her into another facelock, before lifting her up...and keeping her suspended in midair for ten, fifteen, twenty seconds...] JLT: Look at the amazing strength shown by – Leah: You really want me to start talking ‘bout steroids again? JLT: ...No, let’s just move on. And OUCH! [...until Katie drives Makaze headfirst into the mat with a Brainbuster! The impact causes Makaze to roll up to a seated position momentarily, before her eyes roll upwards and she slumps back down again. Pin!] [1] [2] [...Kickout!] [Katie looks disappointed, before pulling Makaze up to a seated position and running for the ropes, rebounding and rushing Makaze from behind, before grabbing her head and somersaulting over her, driving Makaze’s face down to the mat between her legs. Makaze rolls over onto her front, clutching her face, allowing Katie to grab one arm and roll her into a Mahistrol Cradle!] [1] [2] [3 – NO! Kickout!] [Actually, Makaze doesn’t so much kick out as roll over, wriggling her arm free and hooking it around Katie’s head before unloading on the Redhead’s pretty face with a barrage of rapid-fire rights, shrieking with rage over Katie’s pained squealing. This forces the ref to get involved and pull Makaze off, with more than a little difficulty, though eventually the Japanese spitfire acquiesces and stands back up. Katie, foggy-eyed and shaking slightly, pushes herself up to her knees, and brings one hand up to her face, before looking down at it, shocked by the crimson now staining her fingers; her nose is bleeding quite severely.] [The ref steps forward to check on Katie, who shakes her head at his questioning, determined to continue the match – and as soon as she sees this, Makaze dashes forward and hammers Katie’s head with a roundhouse kick! The smack of boot leather on skull echoes across the arena as Katie sinks backwards to the canvas in slow motion, before Makaze steps across to the fallen Redhead and stares down at her with a self-satisfied little smirk.] JLT: Somebody, just...call this match off, we need to get some medical attention for Katie Kooper right now... Leah: Yeah, please do, then we can get back to the more interesting Divahs. JLT: Are you really that heartless? Don’t answer that. [Makaze beckons the ref over as she places one foot across Katie’s chest for a supremely arrogant pin.] [1] [2] [3] [Makaze steps off and raises her arm in triumph - ] [BUT IT WASN’T A 3! KATIE GOT A SHOULDER UP!] JLT: How - ? Leah: Damn! How much longer do I got to put up with this for? [The ref refuses to raise Makaze’s arm, and explains why – prompting Makaze’s jaw to almost fall off in shock, before she tugs frantically on her own hair and swears loudly, before storming back over to Katie and planting her boot on the Redhead’s bust again – but Katie, somehow, isn’t totally KO’d, and grabs the offending boot just as it touches her! Makaze hops awkwardly as Katie rises slowly up to one knee, then swings her other leg around for an Enziguri; but Katie ducks her head under it, and with Makaze now laid out on her belly, twists the caught leg into an Ankle Lock!] JLT: Wow! What a shocker! Leah: Ah, the ginger one was fakin’ it. Been there. JLT: Actually, I think she’s just supremely determined to win this match – and Makaze had better hope she’s just as strong-willed! [Makaze’s hands frantically scrabble for purchase on the smooth ring surface, and she shakes her head at the ref even as an agonised scream leaves her throat, and then...Katie lets go?] JLT: Huh? I didn’t see Makaze reach the ropes... Leah: And here I was thinking it’s the blondes who are dumb around here. [Katie, though, merely has a different plan in mind; still wobbling slightly and clutching her head, she drags Makaze to her feet, then tosses her shoulder-first into the ring post! Makaze takes the hit without a sound, and slowly, achingly slowly, pries herself out of the corner and staggers backwards – right into Katie, who hooks her arms and lifts her over her shoulders, then plants Makaze with the Energetic (Vertebreaker)! Katie clutches her still-aching skull, and leans over – but doesn’t go for a cover, instead looking to ringside, at the concern etched in the faces of her brother and friends, and smiles tightly, before rolling Makaze out onto the apron, and stepping out beside her. Katie drags Makaze up to her feet and stares into her barely-awake face with a look of deep resentment, before forcing Makaze’s head down between her legs, hooking her arms, lifting her and – DIVING STRAIGHT OFF THE APRON WITH THE BEAUTFUL (ANGEL’S WINGS)!] JLT: OH MY GOD! Leah: NO! I dropped my handbag! [The ref is too stunned to try counting the girls out, as Makaze lies with a near-enough concussion and Katie’s injuries finally take their toll, leaving her motionless.] JLT: Seriously, now – get some medical staff out here! Leah: Move your leg, bitch, I know it’s under here somewhere! JLT: And...can someone bring out Leah’s backup handbag? She’s really distracting me... [As the ref’s count finally starts up, Katie awakens from her stupor, and uses the apron to pull herself back up, before staggering over to Makaze and pulling her up by the hair, then rolls her into the ring. Sliding in after her, Katie makes a cover...] [1] [2] [3...NO! KICKOUT!] JLT: My god, how much more can these girls take? Leah: As much as they get paid for...could you move your feet? You’re standing on my lipgloss. [Katie groans to the ceiling in dismay, before reluctantly standing up once again, and pulling Makaze up – but Makaze grabs Katie’s head and quickly sits down, causing a Jawbreaker effect, smacking Katie’s chin against her skull, dizzying the Redhead enough for Makaze to shove her into one corner and rack her up on the top rope. With a rude salute to the crowd, Makaze steps up top herself, and hops onto Katie’s shoulders - ] JLT: Hurricanra – WAIT! [ - but Katie refuses to be budged, and lifts Makaze back up...then THROWS her away with a modified Jackknife Powerbomb! Makaze is left sprawled on the mat, as Katie turns around and...soars into the air for A Long Kiss Goodnight!] [WHICH HITS SUCCESSFULLY! Katie can’t hook the leg, but the cover counts anyway...] [1] [2] [...] [3!] [The bell rings! The ref raises the hand of Katie Kooper! We have a new champion!] John Roe: Here is your winner...and NEW Rockford State champion...KATIE KOOPER! JLT: It’s over! Leah: At last! Ooh, there’s my bag... JLT: However much you may dislike Makaze, she deserves massive credit for her performance tonight...but the celebration belongs to Katie Kooper! [Katie sits up on her knees as she’s handed the Rockford State belt, which she stares at mutely for a moment...before leaping to her feet and punching the air with delight, provoking a massive cheer from the audience! As Makaze rolls gingerly out of the ring, looking thoroughly dejected, Katie slips out the other side and goes over to celebrate with Travis and her friends, who lift her up onto their shoulders and start to carry her away towards the back...] [The backstage area is always a riot. Interviewers fighting for T.V. time just seem to be all over. With the new addition of Joe, who can blame them for wanting to get as much time as possible. Krysta Taylor being one of them, is seen in a scandalous pink dress. With the roll of her eyes, she gives a smile as fake as silicone and begins with her usual onslaught.] Krysta: It’s about damn time these people had some real taste around here. You know as in, me, being the best. Joe is just Average, and well Holly speaks for herself. So now, that you’ve been graced with my presence please welcome my not so special guest and half of the Unleashed Champions, Meggie Skyfyre. [Meggie steps from the side, approaching Krysta with a wry smirk on her face. Apparently, the comments of Krysta’s not bothering her so much.] Meggie: Hey bitch, how are you? [Krysta just grins.] Krysta: I’m pleasant you two bit skank. Now tell us about, oh my God, yet another match with Kibby D. Who would’ve seen that coming? [Krysta gives a faux gasp, before rolling her eyes. Meggie followed the eye roll. Obviously equally annoyed.] Meggie: I know! I have trouble believing it myself, then again I’m the only person in this entire place that could make Kibby D entertaining. Call it my superior ability to look and wrestle better than anyone else. I make anyone look good. Even you Krysta. [Krysta’s eyes narrowed even though Meggie, simply continued talking.] Meggie: The match with Kibby is simple. It’s going to be like every other match I’ve had with Kibby, minus that one where she somehow got lucky enough to strip me down. The fans helped her, because everyone wants to see me naked. They’ve already had that opportunity with Kibby.You know five times in playboy. As if that doesn’t read S-L-U-T! [Meggie just shook her head, before continuing] Meggie: Fact is, Kibby can do all these other things and partially succeed. At least she tries. You know the boring T.V. show that comes on some time in the morning when no one is awake, so no one really cares what’s on. Then of course her horrible singing, not to mention her screwing every producer and director in the country trying to get a movie deal, but when it comes to this ring. To that Divas Unleashed ring. I’m the queen. Kibby’s going to find that out tonight, once she meets that shimmering sword to her skull. [Krysta suddenly begins to stare angrily at something in the background and just as Meggie took a breath and was about to continue, Holly stumbles onto the scene, nearly falling on Meggie and knocking over one of the lights projected onto the interview set, nearly hitting one of the divas before a stagehand grabs it and props it upright. Meggie moves as a reflex and lets Holly find her clumsy stature once again, Krysta turns to Meggie.] Krysta: Sorry Meggie, hold on. [Meggie and Krysta glance at one another before Krysta raises her voice at Holly, losing her anger.] Krysta: Am I going to walk around and rip your fucking lights down in the middle of an interview? Then why the fuck are you walking right through? Ah-da-da-dah, like this in the background. What the fuck is it with you? What don't you fucking understand? You got any fucking idea about, hey, it's fucking distracting having somebody walking up in front of Meggie in the middle of the fucking interview? Give me a fucking answer! What don't you get about it? Holly: I was making sure her tan looked good, I was looking at the light. Krysta: Ohhhhh, goooood for you. And how was it? I hope it was fucking good, because it's useless now, isn't it? Holly: Okay. Krysta: Fuck sake Holly, you're amateur. Meggie, you got fucking something to say to this prick? Meggie: I didn't see it happen. Krysta: It's the second time that she doesn't give a fuck about what is going on in front of the camera, all right? I'm trying to fucking do an interview here, and I am going "Why the fuck is Holly walking in there? What is she doing there?" Do you understand my mind is not in the interview if you're doing that? Holly: I absolutely apologise. I'm sorry, I did not mean anything by it. Krysta: Stay off the fucking set bitch. You and me are done professionally, I swear. [Holly’s feelings look hurt as Meggie just places her hands on her hips scowling at Holly, before Krysta speaks again, trying to calm down from her rant.] Krysta: Sorry about that, continue on with you hideous lecture. [Meggie just shook her head still with a scowl on her face.] Meggie: I think we’re done. I’ll just save the rest for the show. [Meggie gets and evil grin on her face as she exit’s the scene. Krysta stands annoyed, folding her arms and looking angry that her TV time has been cut short.] Krysta: I hate DU. Stripped Championship "Showgirl: Tribute to Kylie Minogue" Match Crystal Hilton © vs. Laura Leah: Speaking of gay icons, it’s Kylie time! JLT: Yes, we have an interesting match coming up next as we have Crystal Hilton defending her Stripped Championship against Laura in the first-ever ‘Showgirl: Tribute to Kylie Minogue’ match! The stipulation of the match is fairly straight-forward, it’s all Kylie-related weapons and the divas will be wearing Kylie outfits! This is nothing more than a Kylie lovefest! Leah: I wonder who booked this match? Oh yeah, Tequila. She’s going to be refereeing this embarrassment of a contest as well. I don’t like Kylie, I don’t know who she is. JLT: Well it’s not the staff’s fault that America rejects living legends who are global superstars and are huge everywhere except in the US. You know Kylie’s crown is only really challenged by Madonna? Leah: She does look better than Madonna, Madonna is a hag. This match should be fun though even though we’re not going to get half of the amazing references that come out of it. I’m rooting for mah gurl Crystal Hilton, she needs a win, otherwise she might end up comfort eating. She eats enough already! JLT: I wonder how things will go for Crystal, as Tequila is a friend of Crystal’s so I’m wondering if that will sway her judgment in this match. It’s not as if Tequila has been the most cordial, reliable referee in the past. Leah: She’s a dumbass. JLT: I’m rooting for Laura though. She’s challenged for this championship six times and now this is her seventh attempt, that’s awesome. I may not like her personality but I can’t knock her for her determination. Leah: I like her personality, apart from the basketball thing. Women who play basketball are so grossly unfeminine it offends my eyes. John Roe: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is the first-ever “Showgirl: Tribute to Kylie Minogue” match. The aim of the match is to pin your opponent and only weapons from the weapons tables around the ring can be used in the match, otherwise there will be a disqualification. [“Spinning Around” by Kylie Minogue begins to play as the audience cheer for the rifts of the song and Crystal Hilton’s name appears on the video wall. The song launches in full-on poptastic mode and Crystal struts out, raising her championship belt above her head and donning Kylie’s iconic outfit from the music video of the song. She stands in gold hotpants and a green top, but has replaced the heels with something more suitable to wrestle in.] John Roe: Introducing first, hailing from Long Island, New York; at a weight of 120lbs, she is current Stripped Champion…CRYSTAL HILTON!!! [Crystal twirls her hips on the stage, getting into the groove of the song and enjoying the attention, dancing to the ring to the song and playing up to her new outfit, embracing it. Crystal moves to the chorus of the song, raising her belt into the air on each corner of the ring and getting the crowd behind her.] [“Can’t Get You Out Of My Head” by Kylie Minogue interrupts the celebrations as the cheering turns to a mixed reaction of boos and small cheers for Laura. Kendra Wecker walks out onto the stage, dressed normally and urging Laura to join her. Laura begrudgingly walks out wearing a tight white dress with silver thigh-high boots. She stands and looks around, rolling her eyes at having to don such a ridiculous outfit and makes her way to the ring, frustrated at her lack of her usual entrance.] John Roe: And the challenger, from Oshkosh, Wisconsin; at a weight of 153lbs, accompanied to the ring by Kendra Wecker…LAURA!!! [Laura steps into the ring and is ready to fight Crystal but all of a sudden the lights go out and the arena drops into darkness for the special entrance of the special guest referee.] [The rift of “Better The Devil You Know” begins to play and the audience cheers as from beneath the stage, rising up, stands Tequila dressed head-to-toe in the Showgirl Homecoming outfit. Recovered from meeting her idol earlier, Tequila pouts and looks around, raising an eyebrow and allowing her hand to flow freely in the air, her fingers twirling, emulating her idol’s mannerisms.] [Unfortunately for the audience, Tequila is armed with a microphone. She brings it to her lips and begins to sing, swaying from side to side, delivering bum notes.] Say you won’t leave me, no more. I’ll take you back again. No more excuses, no more! 'Cause I've heard them all before... [Tequila winks at the camera and begins to walk to down the aisle to the ring, slowly pacing herself to the classic song and enjoying singing out one of Kylie’s famous hits and getting the chance to pretend she is actually Kylie for a few moments as she interacts with the audience.] JLT: Here comes the special guest referee, in full Showgirl regalia! Leah: I bet she wishes she could put Kylie’s skin on and just BE her. [Laura rolls her eyes in the ring, having endured enough singing, and attacks Crystal Hilton from behind, knocking her down to the canvas. The stagehands cut the music and resume the lights, as the match has begun, and Tequila looks angry. She slams her microphone down on the floor and struts to the ring in a huff, her giant headpiece shaking as her feet stomp the ground.] JLT: Laura has started this match, Crystal was too busy watching her buddy! Leah: Come on girl, focus! [Laura begins to nail Crystal with kicks to the back, and kneels down onto Crystal’s back and begins to pull her chin backwards in a submission hold attempt but Crystal elbows Laura in the face. Laura stands to her feet, as Tequila stands on the apron trying to figure out a way into the ring with the outfit she’s wearing.] [Laura spots her and is distracted, as Tequila then begins calling at her to come and open up the ropes for easier access. Laura reacts by giving Tequila the middle finger. Laura pulls Crystal up to her feet and hooks onto her waist, lifting her into the air and walking around the ring before planting her into the mat with a sidewalk slam.] [Laura then thinks about covering but Tequila is still having trouble entering the ring. Laura rolls her eyes, charging towards Tequila and grabbing her by the head and pulls her forward, flipping Tequila into the ring as she tumbles over the top rope. Laura then shouts “There!” at her, and slides under the bottom rope to the outside to the first table of weapons which are hidden under a sheet that has the Fever album covet art emblazed upon it.] JLT: Here we go, we’re able to discover the first of 3 weapons tables! I wonder what’s under there? It’s so impossible to predict in a match like this. Leah: Hopefully it’s a shotgun, so Laura can shoot herself and this whole ordeal can be over with. [Laura ignores the cover art and yanks away the sheet, revealing a table of smaller goodies including each of Kylie’s 10 studio albums in their CD case, a pink glitter-infested microphone, a silver thong, a rope and a black cowboy hat which relate to the song “Cowboy Style” and a bar of a soap, amongst an assortment of coloured wigs in all shapes and sizes. Laura rolls her eyes.] Leah: What’s the bar of soap about? JLT: Well, Kylie used to be on Neighbours. It’s a soap in Australia. Leah: Ah, see, DU is so clever. [Laura picks up a copy of the album ‘X’ as Crystal Hilton is making her way to the outside of the ring, she approaches Laura from behind but Laura immediately rams her over the head with the plastic CD case. Crystal Hilton stumbles backwards, as Laura picks up the glittery microphone and rams it hard over the head of Crystal. Crystal falls to the floor, motionless.] JLT: Jesus! Leah: That was awesome! Did you hear that? That microphone must have been live, it echoed all around the arena! It sounded like a car crash or something! JLT: Look at that microphone now! [Laura then looks at the microphone which has now split in half, and smiles. Laura then has an idea and drags Crystal Hilton to the ring post, yelling at her partner in crime Kendra Wecker to grab some of the weapons from the table.] JLT: Kendra’s getting involved. Leah: Who? [Laura hoists Crystal up, propping her against the ring post and then grabbing one of her arms as she slides into the ring. Tequila’s eyes narrow as she watches what goes on. Kendra hands Laura the rope from the table and ties Crystal’s arms behind her head, tying the cowboy rope in a tight knot.] [Laura smiles, satisfied with her work, as Kendra stands propping up Crystal to assist her partner but Crystal soon reacts by kneeing Kendra in the stomach and then using the same knee to hit Kendra in the face, causing Kendra to fall to the floor, clutching her chin.] JLT: Ha! Go Crystal! Kendra has no business interfering in this match, it should be between Laura and Crystal. It’s an unfair advantage. Leah: Tequila’s not doing anything about it, she’s too busy making sure her boobs are tucked under her chin, so I guess it’s allowed. Life is better when you break the rules, fuck society! Rebel! [Laura ignores the move, her experience telling her to plot her next move rather than tend to her friend. Laura approaches another of the covered weapons tables, this one covered with a sheet which has the ‘Light Years’ artwork emblazed on it. Laura rips it off and reveals an items relating to the show presentation of Kylie.] [The table features illuminatable tubes from the ‘Slow’ campaign, a four-finger ring with her name on it and resembling brass knuckles, two odd-shaped Daft-Punk style helmets, boxing gloves with KM written in silver glitter and a disco ball. Laura raises an eyebrow, searching over the items for what she can use.] JLT: There are such random items in this match. Leah: There’s so much glitter in it. It’s like there was a supernova of gayness and it just exploded all over this arena. If I go home with glitter in my hair, I swear, I swear…I will punk a bitch out. JLT: Yeah, that stuff gets literally everywhere. Trust me, I know. Leah: Eww, TMI Jamie. [She picks up the boxing gloves and puts them on her hands and approaches Crystal who is trying to escape from her tied-up position. Laura then begins to box Crystal, swiping at her face and whacking her with the glove. Laura then smiles, wary to keep her distance of Crystal’s feet and begins to nail her in the face with left and rights.] [Crystal becomes dazed, not fighting back and instead closes her eyes to try and regain her composure from the flurry of boxing shots. Kendra has found her feet and Laura mentions to her to get an item from the table. Laura takes off one of the gloves, and Kendra hands her the bar of soap. Laura then begins to smear the soap over Crystal’s face, scrubbing her in the eyes and trying to slot the soap into Crystal’s mouth but Crystal keeps it closed.] JLT: It’s ironic Laura is trying to wash Crystal’s mouth out with soap seeing as that’s exactly what Laura needs! Her and that foul-mouth of hers! There’s no need for language like that! Leah: Shut the fuck up bitch, I’m trying to watch this! [The ‘wash’ seems to revive Crystal and she immediately begins to kick Laura, Laura stumbles backwards and Crystal wraps her legs around Laura’s throat in a hurricanrana move, tightening the lock around Laura’s neck and trying to choke her out.] [Crystal then tries to break free from the tied-up position her hands are in, and Tequila comes to her aid from in the ring, untying the knot and freeing Crystal’s hands as payback for Laura letting her into the ring the hard way.] JLT: Tequila seems to be helping the champion, I guess for the sake of the match. There’s not much Crystal could do from that position. Leah: I disagree, you can tell she’s the type of woman who’s really into S&M, it’s always the nice ones who are. I bet she’s been tied up many times, that skank. How I love her. [Crystal then hurricanranas Laura down into the mat on the outside, she quickly finds her feet, the adrenaline flowing and clothesline Kendra Wecker down. Crystal heads to the weapons table, and picks up two of the Daft-Punk style helmets in each of her hands. She approaches Kendra first and rams the helmet down onto her head, knocking Kendra out on the outside. Crystal then approaches Laura, but Laura swings with a punch. Crystal ducks and swings the helmet at Laura, catching her on the side of the face and knocking her down.] JLT: Crystal is cleaning house, she’s mounting an offensive! Leah: Hehe, mounting… [Tequila leans over the ropes and yells at Crystal to bring the fight back in the ring as she’s missing out. Crystal grabs Laura by the hair, grabbing a chunk of her blonde locks and shoves her back into the ring as Laura lies on her back on the canvas.] [Crystal then begins to stock up on weapons, she tosses the paparazzi camera in the ring, along with the illuminated tubes from Slow, and the disco ball. Crystal then slides the ring with ‘Kylie’ written on it over the four fingers on her hand, serving as brass knuckles or knuckledusters for the reigning champion. Crystal smiles and approaches Laura, whose still lying on the canvas, grabbing her head and ramming her with fists to the forehead, driving the Kynuckles into Laura’s skin and threatening to bust her open.] JLT: That’s the same ring from the In Your Eyes video, apparently. Kylie punches the screen and we see those ‘Kynuckles’, do you think Crystal has been exploring Miss Minogue’s back catalogue ahead of this match? Leah: Nah, she’s from Long Island. She just knows how to hustle. I bet that’s how she beats hot-dog vendors if they refuse to give her extra mustard. JLT: Stop belittling Crystal, Leah. There is nothing wrong with her weight, she’s 120lbs! Leah: Stop belittling her? Belittle? Yeah, I wish she would BE little. [Laura remains blood-free, and Crystal is satisfied with her paralysis on Laura having downed her in the ring. Crystal then begins to explore the weapons herself, approaching the last remaining weapons table which has the cover for Impossible Princess emblazed on it. She whips the cover away to reveal a half-naked back-up dancer in tiny white briefs lying down on the table with a book resting on his rock-hard abs.] Leah: Ooh, hello! JLT: It’s a man! [Crystal recoils in fear for a second and then raises an eyebrow, as the sexy dancer sits up and begins to chat to Crystal. Crystal begins to flirt, despite with a face still covered in soap. The dancer then hands Crystal the book, which is a guide to reading Body Language.] JLT: Kylie is famed for her back-up dancers and their lack of clothes. Leah: That man is hot. [Tequila begins to yell at Crystal from behind her, furiously demanding her return to the ring. Crystal ignores her, batting her away by tossing the book in her direction and then tells the back-up dancer to get into the ring to help her with the match. The back-up dancer smiles and rolls into the ring, but is immediately blindsided by Tequila who approaches him and begins flirting herself.] [Laura has found her feet, and has picked up one of the illuminated tubes but conceals it behind her back. Crystal calls the back-up dancer over and the two link arms, with her informing him that they will executing a clothesline. Laura runs towards both divas and the back-up dancer and Crystal attempt a double clothesline but Laura ducks, Laura then swings the tube like a kendo stick and strikes the dancer on the head, knocking him down to the floor.] Leah: What does Laura think she has? A light saber? JLT: It looks like a light saber now, look! [The tube begins alive with an orange glow, the light lighting up Laura’s face like some horror monster. Crystal then grabs the tube in Laura’s hands and yanks it towards her, catching Laura in a side headlock. Laura still has the tube in her hand, as Crystal runs with Laura and attempts a running bulldog but Laura frees herself from the headlock at the last minute, and as Crystal leaps into the air, Laura wraps the tube around Crystal’s neck and yanks her down with it from behind, slamming her head into the mat.] JLT: Talk about a beheading! Leah: I bet Crystal has a concussion after that, hopefully she’ll remember to start Atkins or the O-Zone diet. I’m thinking about going on that diet. JLT: The one Tequila invented where you just eat nothing but air for two weeks and then nothing but red meat for two weeks so it ‘all balances out’? Leah: Yep, it’s effective. JLT: It’s insanity! [Laura then tosses the tube out of the ring, flinging it into the air like she was throwing a pitch as fans scramble to catch the piece of memorabilia. Laura then grabs Crystal, hoisting her over her shoulder and approaching the corner, placing Crystal in a tree-of-woe position with the champion hanging upside down, her hair dangling down to touch the mat.] [Laura then picks up the disco ball which is immersed in glitter, Laura smiles deviously and heads to the opposite corner to where Crystal is hanging. She then runs forward slightly and launches the disco ball like it was a bowling bowl as it thunders towards Crystal with great speed and slams directly into her face, as the crowd cheer the move.] Leah: Hahaha! Love it! JLT: That looked pretty painful! [Laura then raises her arms up in the air like she’s hit a strike, and smiles. Tequila helps up the back-up dancer, cuddling him against her chest as she strokes his face. Laura eyes her and motions for her to get the dancer of the ring, Tequila’s eyes narrow and she reluctantly rolls the dancer out of the ring, carelessly pushing him over the edge of the apron. Tequila then stands up in a huff, crossing her arms.] [Crystal’s body tumbles from the tree of woe position as Laura grabs Crystal by the wrist and drags her to the centre of the ring, rolling her over and pinning her. Tequila takes several moments to get a kneeling position, being weighed down by her giant headpiece.] JLT: We have a cover, the first of the match! [1] [2] [Crystal gets her shoulder up.] Leah: Crystal won’t want to give up this title, she had to eat her way to victory to beat KibbyD so she can easily beat Laura. Plus she has my support, which means she’ll win. Mah gurls always win. [The crowd cheer for Crystal’s resilience, as Laura looks annoyed and shoots Tequila a dirty look. Tequila stands and Laura’s brewing angry is evident as she clenches down on her bottom jaw but Tequila warns her not to attack the referee as she will disqualify the challenger, which only seems to heighten Laura’s frustration as she seems about ready to give Tequila a bitchslap like she’s never had before.] [Laura then brings Crystal to her feet, propping her up and knees her hard in the stomach causing Crystal to double over. Laura then runs to the ropes, bouncing back and charging towards Crystal but the back-up dancer on the outside, with new ties to Crystal, tosses a bunch of the wigs into the ring in front of Laura’s path as Laura’s feet land on them and she slips, awkwardly falling backwards to the mat.] JLT: Laura fell! Leah: I can see that, Sherlock. That was an inventive move from the delicious back-up dancer over there, do you think I should go get his number? JLT: Don’t you have a boyfriend? Leah: What he don’t know won’t hurt him… [On the outside, Kendra Wecker immediately takes offense to this and races around the ring to challenge the dancer but Tequila slides out of the ring, and demands both parties leave ringside as they’re messing with her focus. The dancer willing walks backstage as Kendra begins arguing with Tequila but Tequila motions for security to come and escort Kendra to the back.] [Crystal then shakes the cobwebs from her head, trying to regain herself after the bowling disco ball to the face. Crystal begins to stomp Laura in the stomach, she grabs one of the wigs and puts it onto Laura’s face backwards, so Laura has a face-full of hair which blinds Laura.] Leah: Look how better Laura looks when we can’t see her face! JLT: Leah, don’t be rude. [Laura stands up, trying to yank the wig off her but it appears the netting on the inside of the wig has become entangled in Laura’s hair, Crystal then crouches down and nails a hard ‘Lights Out’ chick kick to the face, knocking the challenger down into the canvas.] JLT: Talk about knocking out some teeth! [Crystal quickly covers, as Tequila counts fairly.] Leah: Tecky is counting! [1] [2] [Laura gets her shoulder up.] Leah: Bitch… [Crystal sits up, brushing the sweat from her brow and looks around. She spots the guide to Body Language book lying on the apron and heads to pick it up. Crystal then scales to the top rope, and perches as waits as Laura finds her feet. Laura turns to locate Crystal and Crystal throws the book like a boomerang as it flies through the air and smacks Laura dead in the face.] Leah: Haha! These are the moments that make DU worth working for… JLT: I don’t think Laura expected that. Crystal looks like she’s planning something big! [Laura stumbles backwards, holding her nose, but still heads towards Crystal. Crystal then stands and leaps forward with a dragonrana, landing on Laura’s shoulders and leaning backwards to execute the move but Laura uses her strength to counter, and lifts Crystal’s knees into the air and hoists her into a jackknife powerbomb “Perfection” style move.] [Laura then tosses Crystal forward, towards the corner as Crystal smacks into the turnbuckles and falls to the floor as Laura executes her finisher with a smile, and crowd cheer for the nasty impact. Laura then drags Crystal to the center of the ring and pins her, hooking the leg. Tequila counts.] Leah: Ouch! Laura practically broke Crystal in half! JLT: Here we go! Laura has the pin! [1] [2] [3] Leah: Boo! JLT: She did it! Laura is the new champion! After all her efforts, she IS the champion! John Roe: Here is your winner and NEW Stripped Champion…LAURA SETON!!! [“Love at First Sight” by Kylie begins to play as Laura stands with a smile filled with glee on her face, Tequila hands her the Stripped Championship as she hugs it to her chest and raises it up into the air, smiling at having overcome her six attempts and now holding the championship around her waist.] [Kendra comes down from backstage and slides into the ring, hugging Laura and the two celebrate together to a mixed reaction from the audience, as the appropriate lyrics of the song compliment Laura’s final becoming as the Stripped Champion.] JLT: Well done to Laura, there’s a good message to everyone out there. Don’t give up! She won the title on her seventh try and she deserves it for her perseverance! Leah: Poor Crystal, what happened girl? I hate that Laura won. That’s all we need, more reasons for her to be more arrogant. Where’s the sick bucket? [“It’s Kathy Bitch!” sounds over the PA System as “Gimme More” by Britney Spears begins filling the ears of the audience. Kathy Griffin runs out on stage arms flailing in the air as she yells along with the crowd. She performs some cheap poses before finally making her way over to the podium that is set up at the top of the entrance. Kathy smiles at the crowd as they cheers slowly begin to subside.] Kathy: Wow… HELLO MIAMI! [The crowd goes in to another frenzy as Kathy eats it up.] Kathy: I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am to be here tonight to present the Diva of the Month award. As you all know the “Diva of the Month” is a very prestigious award that basically means “I was the bitch of the month! My period was phenomenal!” [Kathy laughs at her own joke to the audience’s mixed reaction.] Kathy: I’m not sure if you all know this… but I also have won an award. Twice actually. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen my… Emmys? [Kathy pulls out her Emmy’s from the podium and holds one in each hand. She raises them above her head in triumph like a true diva.] Kathy: Yes! And I would have had a Grammy if that bastard George Carlin wouldn’t of bit the bullet. That is so rude of him to die, just to get an award. I would never stoop so low… well, now that I think about it, if you read that I’ve died, it’s because I’ve faked my own death. ANYWAY! Without further procrastination, here is your Feburary 2009, Diva Of The Month! [The arena darkens as a video montage of KibbyD takes over the video screen, showing her moments from the last month and playing her theme tune over the top of it, and finally crowning her position as the DoM. At the end of the display, Kibby struts out on stage and grabs her award off the podium] KibbyD: Thanks dolls! I love this award! And tonight, I’m going to prove why I’m the Diva of Month for February bitches! [Kibby’s music starts playing as Kathy and Kibby walk backstage, Kibby shoots Kathy a dirty look from behind and turns to blow kisses to the audience before exiting out of site, her new award in hand.] [Backstage, we see Kathy just after coming off stage from presenting the Diva of the Month award. She waves goodbye to KibbyD and wishes her luck before turning the opposite direction and heading down the hallway, carrying her Emmy’s in both hands. She reaches a locker room door and walks in. Inside we see "Team Griffin". We see Kathy’s Assistant, Jessica; Jessica’s Assistant, Tiffany; and Tom, Kathy’s Tour Manager.] Jessica: Kathy, you caught another gay. He refuses to leave. [We see Crystal Deymonaz and Anthony standing in the corner. Anthony lights up as Kathy walks through the door, but Crystal appears just to be annoyed.] Kathy: It’s fine… Britney should write about me. I’m a Mananizer! [Kathy walks over to Anthony and hugs him with her Emmy’s in hand.] Anthony: Can I have a picture?! With all of you?! Kathy: Sure! [The group gathers around and one of the camera crew men takes Anthony’s camera as they get ready for the picture.] Crew Man: Everybody smile! [Everyone except Crystal smiles as the camera flash does off.] Anthony: Thank you so much! Can I get one more with my two main hags?! Kathy: Sure! Whatever my gays need honey. Anthony: Yay! Crystal, say hello. [Crystal grumbles.] Anthony: Okay… what’s up your ass? Crystal: Kathy is stealing my gay away! It’s not fair! I stole you from Tequila fair and square! You can’t just run off with some lousy comedienne with bad plastic surgery! [The room gasps. Kathy hands her Emmy’s to Tom.] Kathy: Excuse me?! Tom: Oh no... Tiffany: Fag-hag fight! Jessica: Run! Kathy: I’ll have you know my plastic surgery was amazing! I have the pussy of a fourteen year old now! At least I don’t reek of alcohol and talk like I just inhaled helium! [The room gasps again. Crystal and Kathy get in each other’s faces and start yelling as Anthony grabs Crystal and Tom grabs Kathy. Anthony finally yells louder than both.] Anthony: ENOUGH! I don’t belong to EITHER OF YOU! I’m a human being, and whether I’m gay or not, I am my own person and no matter how much I adore either of you, I’m not being stolen, I’m not your hair and make-up artist and I am NOT YOUR PERSONAL SHOPPING BUDDY! GOT IT?! [Crystal and Kathy both start dying laughing.] Crystal: Oh please honey, you gays are so simple minded… Kathy: Seriously! I’ve built my comedic empire off of catering to your superficiality and lack of being an individual! Crystal: and you ARE my hair and make-up artist… and you are my personal shopping buddy… I don’t even pay you to do these things! [Kathy and Crystal put their arms around each other and walk out of the room. Crystal gives Kathy a drink of her vodka as the two women exit the room.] Kathy: Gays… they never learn. Crystal: I know, if we actually cared about them, they would have been able to get married a long time ago, hahahahahahaha. It’s funny that they have dreams that we can step on and make fun of. Kathy: Just like their mannerisms! [Anthony stands in the room as the rest of Team Griffin sit down.] Anthony: Are gays really just being played by celebrities? Are we just pawns in some sick game of manipulation? Jessica: Yea, pretty much. It’s okay though, the celebrities are total jackasses who we don’t listen to anyway. Undisputed Unleashed Championship "Control of the Knife" Match KibbyD © vs. Meggie Skyfyre © [The arena lights begin to flicker as the camera cuts to the ring. As the camera pans upwards, we see a sword (in it's sheath) descend from the top of the arena, hanging on a steel cable. As the sword ominously hangs above the center of the ring, we see the four Gucci Aviatrix Bags descend above the four turnbuckles. They stop descending twenty feet above the ring. The camera then cuts to outside of the ring where there have been several ladders placed around the ring, two giant 25 foot ladders, and four smaller 20 foot ladders.] JLT: Well Ladies & Gentlemen, it is now finally time for our main event. After this match we will once again have only one champion in Divas Unleashed, and that will either be KibbyD or Meggie Skyfyre. Leah: I’ve been waiting for this match all week. Finally I’ll be able to say we cut bitches in Divas Unleashed! JLT: The rules of this match are simple, you must open the bag that holds the Unleashed Championship inside of it and pull the belt out to be declared the winner. Leah: Simple my ass! There’s four different Gucci bags! Hanging 20 feet above the ring! And you can’t just grab one down, you need a damn sword to cut them down! Where the hell do you get SIMPLE from?! JLT: Nevertheless, the first to find the championship belt and hold it in thier hands will be the champion. Leah: … do you know what they have to do to get the sword in the first place?! It’s hanging higher than the damn Gucci bags are! Do you know how much those bags cost?! JLT: Sadly I do, they’re $1,500… Leah: WHAT?! I thought they were knock-offs for $300! JLT: Nope. Leah: We’re so stealing them when no one is looking. JLT: You bet your ass we are. [“Slap A Bitch” by Macy Gray begins to play on the PA system with the video accompanying it, as seen on the Exile a week earlier. Tara Lee struts out wearing a bright pink dress, kitten heels and her hair flowing like a hairdresser has slaved hours over making it look perfect. She puts her full lips and smiles, waving to the audience and strutting down to the ring, loving herself.] John Roe: Making her way to the ring, Tara Lee! Leah: What does this ho thinks she is doing? She better not be a guest referee, especially after all the glitter and feathers that are left all over the damn place from Tequila. JLT: I'm being told that Tara is going to be a guest commentator for the match. Leah: WHAT?! OH HELL NO… [Tara Lee makes her way over to ringside, blowing kisses into the audience as she makes her way. Just as she reaches the announcer’s table, she pulls out her trusty compact and makes sure everything is perfect before closing the case and putting it back in her bra.] JLT: Well, welcome to the announcer’s table Tara Lee. [Tara makes her way behind the table and makes sure to sit in between Leah & JLT, shoving both girls out of the way to put her chair in place. She starts to put on a headset, but can’t seem to figure out what to do exactly as technicians come over to help her.] Tara: …am I on? Yes? Hello! Testing? I’m not on? What’s wrong with this thing? Fix IT! [We hear from JLT & Leah’s headsets thudding and Tara begins to get fed up with the help and just holds the microphone in her hand. Leah finally grabs the headset and wraps it around Tara’s head correctly. Tara smiles.] Leah: You know, I love this entrance music of Tara’s, it really puts me in the mood to slap this… JLT: Leah… Leah: What? Tara, why the hell are you out here? Tara: Wow, you guys must take forever to set-up each show. But anyways, I’m here because after my return last Exile, I’m sure the fans want nothing more than to see more of well… me! [Tara giggles that annoying giggle she does as Leah rolls her eyes. The fans rise to their feet with cheers and whistles as the cameras now move to the view of the entrance ramp as "Luv Addict" by Family Force 5 plays loudly over the PA system. Various model shoot captures are shown over the video screen of KibbyD as they then move on to show her and her dog Daisy. Some in ring action captures of her wrestling. KibbyD steps from behind the stage curtains flipping her long blonde hair with her left hand as she taunts her fans at the top of the stage. She giggles to herself as she struts her way down the catwalk.] John Roe: Ladies & Gentlemen… the following contest is a “Control Of The Knife” Match, and it is to determine the Undisputed Divas Unleashed Champion… making her way to the ring, the Divas Unleashed Co-Champion… KIBBYD!!! [As KibbyD gets into the ring she looks up towards the sword and at each of the briefcases. Kibby begins going “eenie meanie minie moe” to each designer bag until she finally comes to a decision on the northwestern corner near the stage entrance.] JLT: It appears Kibby is already making her selection as to what bag she plans on going after first. Tara: I think that Kibby and I have a lot in common, I use “eenie meanie” for a lot of my decisions too. Leah: Shock. Awe. Surprise. [The sound of “Dangerous” by M. Pokora hits over the Arena, as the fans begin to automatically boo, once the video for Meggie begins to play. She walks out from behind the curtains brushing them by with her fingers. A bunch of fans try to touch her, but she stays in the center of the catwalk where they can’t reach her, while she stares at them as if they’re a disease. She then looks up at her sword above the ring.] John Roe: And her opponent… making her way to the ring from Swans Quarter, North Carolina… she is also the Divas Unleashed Co-Champion… MEGGIE SKYFYRE!!! [Meggie rolls inside the ring and the two divas get right in each other’s faces. John Roe breaks the two divas apart and holds the microphone in his hand between them. He raises the microphone to his face.] John Roe: Champions… the rules of this contest are as follows... [A diagram appears on the video wall, demonstrating the match stipulation.] John Roe: The first woman to open the bag containing the Divas Unleashed Championship will be declared the Undisputed Champion. To aid in cutting the bags from the ropes to which they are attached, a sword also hangs above the ring. Are both of you clear on the rules of this match? [Both divas nod. As John Roe calls for the bell, Meggie shoves the microphone into John’s face, causing him to stumble over and fall backwards out of the ring as the crowd boos! Kibby immediately tackles Meggie down and starts throwing fists and the match begins!] Tara: Poor John! Leah: I’m sure John’s taken more cylinder objects to the face than a microphone. JLT: And the main event starts with Kibby taking Meggie down and the battle is already intense! Leah: I mean seriously, he holds that mic like he was about to suck… JLT: LEAH! Focus! Tara: Well he does hold it like that… believe me, I would know. I’m a pro. [Tara smiles sheepishly and winks as inside the ring, Meggie has gotten on top of Kibby and has begun to bash her head into the canvas. Kibby is able to flip Meggie off of her and Meggie rolls into the corner. As Kibby gets up, Meggie comes charging and both divas take each other down with a double clothline! The divas quickly get back to their feet and lock up. Kibby starts taking charge and gets Meggie backed into a corner. Kibby then breaks the lock up with an uppercut and then starts kicking away at Meggie with a viciousness! As Meggie gets further down in the corner, Kibby begins to choke Meggie with her foot! Meggie grabs at Kibby’s foot to break the hold but to no avail. After several moments of Meggie choking, Kibby releases the hold, and as Meggie sits back upright, Kibby nails a dropkick to Meggie’s face!!! The crowd pops from the impact as Meggie reels.] JLT: A hard kick to Meggie’s face which was nearly a ‘Facial Treatment’ in itself. Tara: Totally ouch! Leah: You’re such a dictionary Tara. [Kibby slides outside of the ring and grabs one of the 20 foot ladders and slides it into the ring, much to the crowd's approval. By this time Meggie has gotten to her feet, as Kibby slides into the ring, Meggie uses the ropes for momentum and nails a bulldog on Kibby RIGHT ONTO THE LADDER!!! The crowd erupts while Meggie smiles at what she has done.] JLT: Kibby's head! [Kibby rolls on the mat grabbing her face as Meggie picks up the 20 foot ladder and leans it against corner. Kibby begins to get to her feet, still holding her face as Meggie comes up to her and kicks her in the gut. Meggie then looks as if she’s about to whip Kibby into the ladder, but Kibby is able to reverse at the last second into the ‘Rodeo’ tilt-a-whirl headscissors! Meggie goes down and Kibby immediately runs over to the ladder and slams it down on top of Meggie!] JLT: Both divas are using the ladder to brutalize each other, and the match has barely gotten underway! Leah: Let’s just hope they can get at least one of those bags down. All I need is one. Tara: Ooo! I want a bag too! Leah: Hands off bitch, I got the first pick. [As Meggie winces in pain holding her stomach, Kibby picks the ladder up again and sets it up in the center of the ring! She moves the ladder to underneath the sword and then returns to Meggie, who has begun to stand up again. Kibby runs and dropkicks Meggie, sending Meggie flying backwards over the top rope! Meggie lands hard on the apron, and then bounces off onto the blacks mats outside the ring! Kibby immediately starts climbing the ladder!] Leah: Yea Kibby! Bring mama a new Aviatrix! [Kibby scales the ladder as the crowd starts to make noise, seeing the first attempt of the night. As Kibby reaches the top of the ladder, it becomes apparent that she and the ladder are too short to reach the sword.] Tara: Oh no! She’s too tiny! JLT: Kibby is 5’5, and that ladder is 20 feet high. She would be able to reach that sword if she stood on the top step of the ladder, but she may lose her balance. [Kibby begins stretching from the 2nd to highest step, but is still not close enough to reach. Outside the ring, Meggie has grabbed the giant 25 foot ladder and slides it into the ring! Kibby, seeing Meggie advance, decides to move to the top step and reaches… reaches… she gets both hands on the sword (covered by the sheath)! Meggie knocks the ladder over that Kibby is on! Kibby is now hanging above the ring by the sword!!!] JLT: Kibby is hanging on for her life as Meggie throws the smaller ladder out of the ring and grabs the big ladder. Leah: Oh hell… Kibby’s swinging. How American Gladiator is that? Tara: Oh no! [As Kibby hangs onto the sword, she begins swinging herself as Meggie sets up the the giant ladder in the corner. Kibby tries to swing towards the direction of the bag opposite the corner of the ladder that Meggie is setting up!] Leah: What the hell is she doing? JLT: Kibby seems to be trying to wrap her legs around that bag! [As Kibby continues to swing back and forth above the ring, Meggie ascends the 25 foot ladder. As Kibby swings away from Meggie, she gets her feet wrapped around the bag hanging over the corner! The momentum of Kibby’s swinging is stopped as Kibby’s legs wrap around the bag, and her hands still hang onto the sword. Kibby is trying to position herself, around the bag, as if she is intending to sit on it.] JLT: It looks as if Kibby is trying to sit on top of that bag. Tara: She’s straddling it. Leah: I don’t even need to say anything do I? Anyway, what makes Kibby thing that thing can hold her fat ass? I don’t want no crushed bag! [Meggie has reached the top of the ladder across the ring and turns towards Kibby, who is still in the process of trying to get on top of the bag, when suddenly the bag swings out from under Kibby!!! Kibby’s body turns and swings towards Meggie! Kibby wraps her legs around Meggie’s head!!! Kibby’s trying to get some sort of sleeper on Meggie!] JLT: Kibby's using her legs to put sleeper hold on Meggie! [Meggie punches Kibby in the gut and leaps off the ladder, nailing her jumping powerbomb!!!!!!!] JLT: OH MY GOD! Leah: HOLY SHIT! [The crowd erupts as Kibby's back collides with the canvas and the arena lights up from camera flashes.] JLT: Meggie just folded Kibby in half! Leah: And Meggie’s taking advantage of the situation… [Meggie gets back to her feet after a few moments as the “holy shit” chants still echo throughout the arena. Meggie pulls the giant ladder from the corner to the center of the ring over Kibby. Meggie puts the bottom step over Kibby's neck, pinning Kibby's head to the mat! Kibby is barely moving after the powerbomb and as Meggie kicks Kibby in the face and begins to climb up the ladder.] JLT: I wonder how long it will be before Kibby recuperates enough to get back into this match, because Meggie has bought herself quite a bit of time after that powerbomb, especially now that she is pinned under the ladder. Leah: I just hope Meggie gets me my Aviatrix! [Meggie reaches the top of the ladder and grabs her precious sword. She smiles as she unlatches the sword, just before climbing down from the ladder. She holds the sword in Kibbys face and then jabs Kibby in the gut with the sword hilt! Kibby curls up grabbing her gut as Meggie moves the ladder back into the corner she performed the powerbomb from. The bag hangs around the third step of the giant ladder as Meggie ascends upwards.] JLT: And it looks like we’re about to find out what’s in the first bag! Leah: Yes! Be the Unleashed Title so I get my bag and get the hell out of here! Tara: I used to carry my dog in a bag like that. Leah: You WHAT?! You used a bag like that to carry around a pooping ankle biter?! Tara: Of course! My dog is high class. He didn't touch the same ground 'commoners' people. Leah: Blasphemy! I’m glad Chimera ran your stupid dog over with a steam roller! ...Oh god, you’re not seriously crying are you? [Tara begins to break down into tears over her dog as inside the ring Meggie pulls the sword out of the sheath, flashing the cold silver steel out into the open air. She sits herself on the top of the ladder and grabs the rope the bag is hanging from with one hand with a sick smile, slices through the rope with the other. She sets the bag in her lap and opens the bag with delight.] JLT: This could be it! We could have a new champion! [As she peers inside the bag, she reaches in and her facial expression quickly changes confusion. She reaches inside the bag and pulls out DaisyD!!!!! The crowd goes wild!] Leah: What the fuck?! JLT: It’s KibbyD’s dog, DaisyD!!!!! Oh no, look at Meggie's face! [Meggie gets a sick smile on her face as DaisyD whimpers. Kibby is seen getting up in the ring and she finally sees Meggie holding Daisy and begins to charge towards Meggie! Meggie then hangs DaisyD by the collar out over the outside of the ring!!!] JLT: Oh my god! Meggie wouldn’t! Leah: Whatever, that dog probably crapped all over that bag. Where the hell is Tara going? [Kibby begins screaming at Meggie to give DaisyD to her, but Meggie refuses. Meggie fakes dropping DaisyD, sending Kibby into a craze, causing Kibby to start pleading with Meggie to give DaisyD to her. Meggie points towards the exit, yelling “Leave!” to Kibby.] JLT: Meggie just told Kibby to walk out of the match if she doesn’t want her dog to be hurt! [After a few moments of indecision, Kibby refuses and charges towards the ladder! Kibby then freezes and looks on in horror as Meggie drops DaisyD!!!] JLT: OH NO! [The arena appears to gasp all at once as DaisyD falls…] Leah: Oh god! [… and Tara Lee catches DaisyD!!! The crowd erupts into cheers as the frightened DaisyD curls up in Tara’s arms, and Tara hugs Daisy. Tara rushes back to the announcer’s table with DaisyD.] JLT: Oh thank god… Leah: Ugh o. [Meggie looks on in disappointment, when Kibby grabs the bottom of Meggie’s ladder and ahoves it over, sending Meggie out over the ring, over the barricade, INTO THE CROWD!!!!!!!!!!!] JLT: HOLY HELL! Leah: We’re going to get so sued… how many times has Meggie been vaulted into the crowd now? [The crowd starts its second rendition of the “Holy Shit” chant as the giant ladder crashes outside of the ring along with the sword, sword sheath and bag that held DaisyD. Kibby slides out of the ring and eyes Tara Lee holding her dog, and Tara nods towards her. Kibby nods back and then gets back to work, grabbing the sword and a smaller 20 foot ladder before getting back into the ring with both objects. In the third row of the audience, we see Meggie stirring on the concrete surrounded by several empty chairs. Several fans are standing around her receiving medical attention as a couple of EMT’s stand next to Meggie checking on her. At ringside, Tara has returned to her seat and has gotten her headset put back on, while DaisyD wonders around on the top of the announcer’s table.] Tara: C’mere Daisy! C’mere! Leah: Oh great… now we have to put up with the mutt and DaisyD! Hah! I'm so hilarious... [Inside the ring, Kibby has set up the ladder in another corner, and has begun to climb the ladder with the sword in hand. As Kibby reaches the bag, she stands and begins to cut the rope with the sword. After struggling for a few moments, she finally cuts the bag off and she throws the sword down to the ring. She sets the bag on the top step of the ladder and peeks inside.] Leah: Please, something that doesn’t crap! JLT: And we could have a winner here! [Kibby’s reaction is one of confusion as she pulls out a copy of Tequila’s album “Soul On Fire”. Kibby rolls her eyes and throws it to the ground. She then pulls out a signed picture of Tequila, holding her “Soul On Fire” album. Kibby sighs and tosses the picture into the crowd. Kibby reaches in again and pulls out a bottle of tequila, with a photo of Tequila across the label, sitting on the beach in a sombrero. She smiles at the sight of this object however, when suddenly the crowd begins to make noise.] JLT: Well, I guess we know who was behind the placement of the items in that bag. Leah: Some self-centered whore who thinks of no one but herself… I mean I swear to god, OH! Kibby dropped the bag! See-ya bitches! Tara: Daisy-waysee! You’re so cutie-wootie! JLT: Look! Meggie’s back over the barricade! She’s sliding into the ring!!! Leah watch out! [Meggie stumbles over the barricade and we see her favoring her right arm. She slowly rolls into the ring, Kibby eyeing her every move. As Meggie gets into the ring, she looks up only to see Kibby fly off the ladder, smashing the tequila bottle over Meggie’s face!!! The crowd pops as Meggie goes down! The broken glass and tequila explode all over the ring from the impact, which leaves Meggie bleeding from her forehead and drenched in tequila. Meggie begins screaming as the tequila runs into her eyes and the blood and glass drip off of her face. Kibby triumphantly raises the broken glass bottleneck that is still in her hand, before throwing it out of the ring. Meggie pulls herself into a corner trying to wipe the blood and alcohol away from her eyes as Kibby starts moving all the broken pieces of glass into a pile with her shoe. Outside of the ring, we see Leah grab the bag that Kibby had just cut down as she heads back to the announcer’s table, laughing to herself.] JLT: It appears Leah has her new bag, but dear god, I don’t see how Meggie will possibly be able to compete in this match… and Kibby looks like she has even more devious thoughts in her mind as she starts scooping all that broken glass into a pile! Tara: Who’s there Daisy?! Ooo… what’s that!? That’s your tail! Yes it is! [Kibby seems to feel her pile of glass is now adequate as she confidently walks over to Meggie who looks into the camera at ringside showing her blood shot eyes that she has trouble opening. The glass appears to be gone, but blood still streams from her forehead. Kibby signals to the crowd she is going for her ‘Envy Me’ facebuster as the crowd begins to stir with anticipation.] JLT: Kibby’s signaling for a facebuster right onto that pile of glass! [Kibby reaches deep into Meggie’s hair and forcefully pulls her up. She drags Meggie over to the glass and kicks her in the gut and just as she is about to slam Meggie face first into the glass, Meggie is able to move backwards, causing Kibby to land on her ass, leaving Meggie doubled over. Meggie then stands and stares Kibby down before running and nailing Kibby in the face with her foot! Kibby falls to her back, and Meggie stumbles, discovering the sword the lay in the ring. Meggie gets a sickening smile on her face as she picks up the sword, as Kibby rolls over and gets back to her feet. Meggie gets to her feet and takes a huge swing at Kibby with the sword! Kibby narrowly dodges by ducking down, but Meggie slices the top ring rope!!!] Leah: Oh hell no, she is destroying company property now. But at least I got my bag! JLT: Leah! She nearly sliced Kibby in half! Leah: And?... I got a $1,500 bag bitch! I don’t care anymore! [Kibby spears Meggie down and gets on top of her, both with their hands on the sword which now lies above Meggie’s head. Kibby tries to pry Meggie’s hands away, but Meggie’s grasp is too first, so Kibby spits in Meggie’s face! Meggie headbutts Kibby! Kibby is stunned backwards, and Meggie uses the sword hilt to nail Kibby in the face again! Kibby falls backward completely onto her back off of Meggie. Meggie rolls away from Kibby with the sword in hand and both divas slowly get back to their feet. Meggie wipes the spit off of her face, and seeing Kibby rising, charges towards her with the sword again! Kibby rolls out of the way, but not quickly enough, as Meggie cuts Kibby’s thigh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] JLT: NO WAY! Leah: SHE CUT THE BITCH!!! Tara: Do you like kibbles Ms. Daisy?! Yes you do! Yes you do! [Kibby rolls out of the ring looking at her leg as EMT’s rush over. A red line of blood begins to drip from her thigh as Kibby begins to hyperventilate as she inspects her cut. Inside the ring, Meggie wastes no time and moves the ladder over to a third bag, ascending it as quickly as possible, sword in hand.] JLT: It didn’t look like Meggie caught Kibby with that sword too badly, but this match has been ridiculously brutal. Leah: I know this is like a fight in the hood! Without guns though… or the police… but with a sword… and ladders... and handbags. Actually, this is nothing like a hood fight. Tara: Oh my god! What happened to the ring rope?! Leah: Where the hell have you been?!? Ohh! JLT! Time for your bag! [Tara looks on in awe as the top rope of the ring dangles loosely. We see Meggie reach the third bag and cut it loose from the rope. She quickly opens it up.] JLT: Please, let this match be over. Leah: I knew you wanted Meggie to win! JLT: I just want this match to end. Both Meggie and Kibby need to go to the hospital. Leah: What, so they can be “out of action” and come back with new noses and boobs for you to masturbate too? Please, spare me the lies. [Kibby appears to not want medical attention as we see her outside of the ring scaling the apron! She quickly hops up the corner, her leg streaming little amounts of blood in the process. Meggie has let the sword drop into the ring but is having difficulty with the buckle on the bag. Kibby steps onto the ladder from the turnbuckle, grabbing the bag! Both divas are on opposite sides of the ladder in a shoving match for the bag!] Leah: Don’t hurt the bag! [Kibby lands a quick right hand to Meggie’s face and Meggie teeters. Meggie still grips onto the bag and Kibby’s reluctance to let go prevents her Meggie from falling backwards. Meggie regains her balance when both divas start stepping up towards the top step of the ladder. Meggie suddenly wraps her arms around Kibby and attempts to fly off backwards to nail her “Welcome To Hellywood” finisher!!! Kibby doesn’t budge! As the bag is held tight between the divas’ bodies, and Kibby lets go of the bag too, and wraps her arms around Meggie, angling herself with her back towards the announce table.] Leah: Move bitches! [JLT grabs Daisy off the announce table and jumps away as Kibby holds onto Meggie and leaps backwards with Meggie in her arms... The duo crash through the announce table with tremendous force as the arena lights up in camera flashes!!!!!!!!!! Kibby and Meggie lie motionless after the completion of the “Welcome to Hellywood”, as the third rendition of the “Holy Shit” chants start up. Just behind the collapsed table, Tara Lee sits in her chair, the carnage seeming to be wrapped around her.] Tara: Ugh! Rude!... Ooo! A Gucci Aviatrix! Yay! [Tara Lee reaches down and grabs the bag and hugs it as Kibby begins to look up and around her. Tara opens the bag and peeks] Leah: OH HELL NO! [Leah reaches over and grabs the bag from Tara.] Tara: Hey! Leah: I would die if you became the champion. [JLT hands DaisyD to Tara. EMT’s have begun to swarm around Meggie and Kibby, as Kibby already starts to crawl around as she looks for the bag. Kibby finally sees Leah with the bag and gets a crazy look on her face. Leah sets the bag down on the ground and Kibby begins crawling quickly towards it. Kibby reaches and bag and rips it open. She reaches in and pulls out the Unleashed Championship! It looks oddly flimsy though.] Leah: Kibby’s the champion! [Kibby smiles and hugs the belt and begins to get to her feet.] JLT: The match is over! Kibby has won! Tara: Kibby is the champion! YAY! [After much struggling, Kibby holds the belt close. Her facial expression changes. She then looks down at the belt. Then she realizes something isn’t right as the material appears to be styrofoam. She holds the belt out and it then becomes quite obvious… the belt is a toy replica. Kibby is furious. Kibby bigs the Gucci bag up again only to pull out a package of tampons and a package of maxi pads.] Leah: No way! JLT: It’s a toy belt! You know Tequila is laughing her ass off. Leah: I am too! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA… JLT: That means that the Unleashed Championship still hangs above the ring!!! [Kibby throws the bag down and hobbles over to the otherside of the ring which the final bag hangs above. It takes her a little while, but Kibby finally makes it around and is able to pick up another ladder and slide it into the ring. Her leg isn’t bleeding as badly as before, but she stays off of it as much as possible as she lies on the apron and rolls into the ring. Kibby gets to work setting the ladder up as outside the ring, we see Meggie shoving EMT’s off of her. Meggie’s face still bleeds as she looks around to see the Gucci bag, tampons and maxi pads scattered around the floor. She then looks up into the ring and sees Kibby setting a ladder up underneath the last Gucci bag. Meggie suddenly pulls herself up, but immediately falls back to the mats from the pain. Meggie tries again and lunges towards the ring, before finally crawling towards her destination.] [Meggie begins using the ring to pull herself up as Kibby finally finishes putting the ladder in place under the bag. Kibby then stumbles slightly and looks around the ring for the sword. Kibby spots it near the other ladder by the edge of the ring and limps towards it. Kibby bends over and as she reaches over to grab the sword, Meggie unleashes a fire extinguisher in her face!!!!!] JLT: Meggie just pulled that from underneath the ring! [Kibby stumbles backwards and falls over as Meggie rolls inside the ring. Kibby and Meggie get to their feet at the same time as Meggie aims the fire extinguisher again at Kibby! Kibby dodges to Meggie’s side! Kibby nails her ‘Russian Leg Sweep’ float-over into a pin!! Meggie lies on the mat as Kibby gets to her feet. Kibby eyes the ladder nearest to them (the one without a bag hanging over it), and begins to fold it closed. Kibby then stands the ladder up against the corner as much as she can with the top rope being loose. Kibby then gets behind the ladder and climbs to the second rope. Kibby then pushes the ladder forward riding it down and crashing both the ladder and her body on top of Meggie!!!!! Meggie appears to be in agony as the ladder crashes over her stomach and legs as Kibby rolls off the other side, holding her arm and cut thigh.] JLT: Kibby nearly sacrificing herself to keep Meggie down permanently this time. Leah: That worked really well last time. They totally messed up my elbow leaning space! [After a few second of Kibby trying to get to her feet, Kibby spots the last bag hanging above the ring. She looks towards Meggie and sees her down, and then spots the sword lying nearby. Kibby hobbles towards the sword and grabs it, before limping back to the ladder. She then begins to take step after agonizing step as the crowd begins to make noise.] [Meggie begins to stir! She begins crawling towards Kibby as she sees Kibby ache her way up the ladder with the sword in hand. Meggie reaches the bottom rung of the ladder, just as Kibby reaches the bag. Kibby uses the bag to pull herself up more, dragging her feet up the ladder rungs, one step at a time. Finally Kibby begins to cut the rope the bag is attached to as the blood from her leg drips to the canvas below. Meggie reaches the third rung. Kibby teeters on the steps as she starts sawing into the rope. Kibby still has a lot of weight on the bag, and as she sees Meggie climbing, she begins kicking towards Meggie. Meggie is still to far for Kibby to kick her, but she can climb up no further. As KIbby uses the bag to lean even more, Kibby and the bag suddenly fall off the ladder over Meggie onto the canvas!!!!! The rope has snapped from high above the rafters!!!] JLT: Kibby and the bag are falling! OH! And Kibby lands awkwardly on the bag!!! Leah: That fat bitch snapped the rope! [Kibby face plants into the bag, nearly performing an inverted DDT on herself. Kibby lies motionless on her stomach as Meggie takes another step off the ladder and moonsaults off!!!] JLT: Moonsault by Meggie onto Kibby’s back!!! [Kibby’s hands are still firmly on the bag as Meggie rolls around on the canvas. Meggie then seems to catch a big rush of adrenaline and gets to her feet. Meggie begins to pull the bag away from Kibby, but Kibby clings to it! Meggie suddenly lets go of the bag and grabs the rope that is still attached to the bag and wraps it around Kibby’s neck! Meggie starts choking Kibby to her feet! Meggie pulls Kibby up as Kibby’s face begins to turn red from the lack of oxygen going to her face! Kibby’s trying to fight… Meggie snapmare’s Kibby’s back into the pile of glass!!! Meggie leaps onto Kibby’s face nailing Kibby’s “Facial Treatment”!!!!!] JLT: Kibby’s back! Leah: Kibby’s face! [Kibby rolls over onto her chest, revealing several shards of glass sticking out of her back!!!!!] Leah: OH SHIT! [Meggie grabs the bag and rips it open. She pulls out the Unleashed Championship. The bell sounds.] John Roe: Ladies & Gentlemen… here is you winner, and the UNDISPUTED UNLEASHED CHAMPION… MEGGIE SKYFYRE!!! JLT: Meggie’s the champion!!! [Meggie falls over and clutches the belt to her chest as the camera closes in on her blood battered face. Tears begin to roll off Meggie's cheeks as EMT’s rush into the ring and get Kibby onto a stretcher, laying her on her chest. Meggie’s music plays over the PA System] JLT: Thank god it’s over. It’s finally over… Leah: Meggie’s the champion bitches! Tara: DaisyD! You can stay with me until momma gets better! JLT: Well done Meggie, I may not like much but she deserves the title after a match like that! Leah: I know, there’s nothing like cutting a bitch to show your dominance! God, I love DU! Brought to you by Sahara On Demand Epilogue Thanks to Chad, Craig, Karlee, Meggie for writing matches for this event and to those of you who submitted segments. I think the show turned out pretty well, we have all new champions and you can't really beat an event where that happens and we had 95% roleplaying so almost a full-card (damn you Crystal!) which hasn't happened in a long time! So I hope you all enjoyed the show and I appreciate you reading it, the first PPV for almost a year is done and dusted and I think it was a classic! -Card Subject to Change- <-Home->