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Sunday 27th June 2004
[Backstage Star is seen walking along with two police officers and her tiara on her head. She approaches a locker room door marked “The Bod Squad” and gets one of her officers to knock. The door is opened moments later by Kristin Wallace-Hudson who smiles widely.]
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: Hey Star. What’s up?
Star: I thought every guy had been up you? Anyway, I don’t want to stay in your stinky presence for long. Now if you don’t return my belt, right now, then these officers will arrest you.
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: I don’t have your belt? Katrina does and Shane showed up the arena earlier and well, they haven’t been seen for hours. I bet they’re doing it right on your title.
Star: Gross! I don’t want green love juice all over it! Officers, arrest that woman!
[Star points at Kristin as the officers move in and clutch her arms, Kristin kicks as the officers turn out to be phoney ones who grab Kristin around the neck. Kaci flies into the scene with a baseball bat smashing them into the ‘officers’ heads as they fall to the floor. Kaci and Star then stare into one another before Star flips her hair and walks off in the other direction. Kaci turns back to Kristin.]
Kaci: Are you okay?
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: I’m fine. Star’s just an arrogant bitch. Kaci, I have some news which I hope you’ll like.
Kaci: Oh?
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: Well, me and Oliver had to go to the doctors as I had this virus last week and well, it turns out, we’re having a baby!
[Kaci gasps as Kristin smiles.]
Kaci: Oh my god, I’m so happy for you guys! I’m going to be an aunt!
Kristin Wallace-Hudson: Again!
Kaci: YAY!
[Kristin and Kaci hug each other as we cut back to Leah and JLT.]
Leah: I wonder who the father is?
JLT: …it’s Oliver?
Leah: How do you know?
JLT: “I’m going to be an aunt” then she said “Again!” was some clarification.
Leah: Interesting theory...
Stripped Championship
Leah: C’mon Baby! It’s time for the Stripped Championship.
JLT: I have been dying to see just exactually what the Divas will look like
in their French Maid outfits. This is going to be fun.
[The opening chorus of “The French Maid” begins to play as the stage is
bathed in bright pink light and fog. From behind the curtain steps Icenique
wearing a classic black and white maid’s outfit that is very, very short in
the skirt.]
JLT: DAMN! There is no imagination needed to see Icenique’s ass, it’s
just......
Leah: Hanging out there?
JLT: Yeah!
[From behind the curtain steps Tara Lee-Shiro in a lemon yellow maid’s
outfit, with a bustier that enhances Tara’s rather large breasts even more.
She strides down towards the ring slapping the hands of the fans as she
goes. Suddenly the music blasts with feedback and the arena goes dark.
"Brackish" by Kittie hits the PA system as light blue strobes dance around
on the stage. "She is not scared...to die...". Crystal steps out on stage
wearing a tight fitting black leather maid’s outfit and carrying a flogging
whip with her. Once she reaches the ring apron, she pulls herself up and
then leans her back against the ropes. She then falls backwards into the
ring and lands on her feet. Removing the Stripped Championship belt, she
holds it high over her head and glares at her opponents.]
Leah: Leave it to Crystal to buck the system.
[The bells rings and Crystal tosses her whip aside and charges directly
towards Tara who ducks a running clothesline, Crystal then runs directly
into a super-kick from Icenique. Tara quickly drops an elbow on the champion
and goes for the pin, but Icenique pulls her off and goes for one of her
own. Tara grabs Icenique and pulls her off of Crystal and delivers a
clubbing forearm to the chest. Icenique staggers, but boots Tara in the gut
and then locks in a DDT. Crystal however catches Icenique and slams her with
a stiff neck-breaker. Crystal stands and ducks a wild punch from Tara.
Grabbing Tara by the arm Crystal whips her into the ropes and bounces off
the opposite side. Both Divas connect with a clothesline sending them both
to the mat. With Crystal and Tara lying side-by-side Icenique climbs the
ropes and executes a diving splash, but both Divas roll out of the way and
Icenique crashes to the mat.]
JLT: All three Divas are down after a flurry of action. The pace they are
going is phenomenal!
Leah: Well that’s all fine and dandy. I just want to see who is going to use
what first. No one has even made an attempt at any of the cleaning items at
ringside.
JLT: Admit it. You just can’t stand a normal match.
Leah: Me?
JLT: Yes you!
[Crystal is the first to her feet and she goes towards the whip she brought
to the ring. She picks it up and immediately is clubbed from behind by Tara
with a double ax-handle. Tara goes to whip Crystal into the ropes, but
Crystal reverses and then uses the whip as a club and strikes Tara in the
chest with it, followed by a hard smack across the back which causes Tara to
drop to her knees. Crystal then nails a running dropkick to the face,
sending Tara to the arena floor. Crystal turns and is immediately dropped by
a high dropkick from Icenique. Icenique quickly follows it, by bringing
Crystal to her feet and locking in a suplex. Crystal however jams the whip
into the gut of Icenique, breaking the hold. Icenique staggers back, as
Crystal begins to whip unmercifully across the back of Icenique with the
whip. Crystal then drops the whip and sets Icenique up for a tiger bomb and
nails it! Crystal stands admiring her work when she turns and is leveled by
a shot from Tara with a ....]
Leah: A Swiffer Wet Jet! Oh My God, that had to hurt!
[Tara celebrates her move and then measures for another shot. Crystal rolls
out of the way just in time. Tara goes for another shot, but Crystal rolls
out of the ring. Tara slides under the bottom rope and begins to give chase.
Crystal reaches down and grabs a feather duster and tosses it in disgust
towards Tara. They turn the corner and suddenly Tara is leveled by a flying
form of Icenique. Icenique slowly gets to her feet, reaching down for Tara.
Tara slaps away Icenique’s hand and goes for a punch, which Icenique blocks,
and then quickly grabs Tara by the hair and slams her into the guardrail.
Icenique reaches over and grabs the electric cord from a vacuum cleaner and
begins to choke Tara out. Tara manages to rake the eyes of Icenique and
shove her away. Tara is then floored by a shot from Crystal and a silver
serving tray. Crystal then turns and levels Icenique. Crystal then reaches
down grabbing a broom and breaks it over the back of Icenique. Icenique
screams in pain, as Crystal rolls her into the ring.]
JLT: Crystal is not taking these girls lightly at all, but I must say I do
like the way that leather maid’s outfit is moving with her. I wonder where I
can get one.
Leah: Why don’t you take Crystal’s when this is all over. You know
Pre-Musked for you.
JLT: EWWWW!!!
[Crystal strides towards Tara. Crystal reaches into her boots and produces a
pair of handcuffs. She begins to mock Tara, whom is slowly pulling herself
up along the guardrail. Crystal slaps Tara across the face and locks one end
of the handcuffs to the railing, and then suddenly Tara begins to lay blows
unto Crystal and then drives her back into the railing with a vicious
shoulder block. After a second Tara stands up and backs away from Crystal
laughing. Crystal glares at Tara and goes after her only to be
stopped........by the handcuffs. Handcuffed to the railing Crystal begins to
curse and scream at Tara. Tara does an impression of a baby crying as she
makes her way to the ring. From behind Icenique reaches down and grabs a
handful of Tara’s hair, pulling her up onto the ring apron. Tara goes for a
punch, but Icenique blocks it. Locking in a suplex, Icenique brings Tara
into the ring the hard way. Outside Crystal is struggling to get free, while
tossing objects into the ring in anger.]
JLT: Crystal is effectively locked out of this match unless she can get free
somehow. And right now it looks as if Icenique has gained the advantage on
Tara.
Leah: Yay! Whoopee!
JLT: Please. There are days.
Leah: Get in line.
[Icenique quickly mounts the near corner and executes a perfect Swanton bomb
on Tara. She goes for the cover.]
[1]
[2]
[Shoulder up!]
Leah: That was so close. Not!
[Icenique gets to her feet and grabs a dustpan and turns to Tara only to be
leveled with a can of Pledge dust cleaner. Icenique drops to one knee as
Tara bounces off the ropes from behind and drives Icenique into the mat with
a bulldog. Tara goes for the pin.
[1]
[2]
[Foot on the rope!]
JLT: Another close call and Crystal is helpless to stop either of them from
getting a pin.
[Tara climbs up onto the near corner and gets set for a splash, when
Icenique climbs the ropes and flips Tara off with a hurricanrana. Both Divas
hit the mat hard.]
JLT: What a move! Who is going to get up first? Who will take advantage? Who
will....
Leah: Shut-up?
[Icenique and Tara get to their feet. Tara picks up a mop bucket that was
tossed into the ring. Icenique grabs Dust buster. They turn simultaneously
and nail each other. They both collapse to the mat and are not moving.
Crystal is irate outside the ring, still handcuffed to the railing.]
[Icenique falls to the ropes as Tara hits the floor, Icenique then turns and picks up Tara off the floor and nails a death valley driver slamming Tara into a trash can lid. Icenique then covers as Crystal tries to break free from the railing.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
Krysta Taylor: Here is your winner and NEW Stripped Champion…ICENIQUE!!!
[Icenique stands and celebrates as she holds her head and rolls to the outside of the ring with her title in her hand.]
[Holly Wentz is seen backstage with Jake EB Wild, Holly and Jake are drinking coffee when Holly misplaces it and it spills onto her top. Jake then gets out a tissue and begins to dab her breasts but Holly slaps him away. Felicity walks up sweaty with her cheeks rosy and her auburn hair shaggy, Jake questions her.]
Jake EB Wild: What are you so hot?
Felicity: I went for a run around the arena. I needed to clear my head and get my muscles working so I could give those lesbian hussies a beating. Oh and guys, I don’t want you interfering in my match. Even if Athena storms the ring and hits me with a giant dildo, still do not come down. I want to do this on my own.
Jake EB Wild: Okay, Felicity. We understand. Plus you’re choosing Val as your partner right?
Felicity: I don’t know yet. I’m thinking it over. I think we could have some fun with it, you know, break in a new member possibly. Anyway, I’m up next.
Jake EB Wild: Good luck!
[Felicity runs off jogging as Jake puts his tissue back onto Holly’s chest. This time the lesbian slaps him across the face, and Jake smiles.]
JLT: I love Miss Felicity's hair color!
Leah: Wait a minute...
Tag Team Championship Strap Cage Match
[The cage lowers onto the ring as the crowd cheers]
John Roe: The following contest is the Strap Cage match! Leather straps have been placed in the four corner of the ring and may be used as weapons during the match. A winner is decided by pinfall, submission or by one team entirely escaping the cage.
[The bell sounds as the cage is secured by the stage hands. The lights go completely out in the arena. A spotlight hits the ring and imprinted in the middle of the canvas is a red heart with the words Hope and Faith written in the middle. The heart spins around so all the audience can see it. The Video Wall comes to life with Hope and Faith Clarkson dressed in Catholic Schoolgirl Outfits. Words read above them: Don’t Let the Names Fool You. With that the two rip off the Catholic Outfits and blue and red pyros ignite the top of the ramp. The screen comes to life with images of Hope and Faith doing what it takes to win a match and scenes from their lesbian sex DVD’s that they produce. Some scenes were far more risqué than others. Hope comes out to the top of the ramp with Faith and the two walk to the ring with the Tag Team Championships raised high into the air.]
John Roe: Making their way to the ring from Kansas City and St. Louis, Missouri respectively... representing Pain & Pleasure, they are the Divas Unleashed Tag Team Champions... HOPE & FAITH!!!
[Hope & Faith walk to the cage door and proceed into the ring, handing their belts to the referee. Hope grabs a leather strap and lightly spanks Faith on the ass with it, as Faith smiles deviously as the Tag Champions embrace in a lesbian kiss.]
Leah: I don't want to see that!
JLT: ... Go Miss Felicity!
["Pretty Tied Up" by Guns and Roses plays over the sound system, and the lights fade until "the perils of Rock and Roll decadance" is heard as the first words in the song. Then with a loud explosion, the pyro goes off and Felicity is standing in the entranceway with her back turned. She then quickly turns around and walks to the ring, keeping a steady glare on Pain & Pleasure, who await her in the cage.]
John Roe: And their opponent... making her way to the ring from The Haven, representing Team X... MISS FELICITY!!!
[Miss Felicity walks around to the cage door, and Hope & Faith eagerly await her to enter the ring. Felicity slowly steps between the ropes and gets in the cage, as the referee closes it behind her. She looks to the referee with a pissed look as she turns around to see Hope & Faith standing right next to her, with straps in hand.]
Leah: I wonder what da bitch gon do?
[Miss Felicity suddenly decks Hope with a right hand! She then clothlines down Faith and runs up a corner, trying to climb out of the cage!]
JLT: I guess that works...
Leah: Run bitch! Run!
[Hope grabs the side of her head as Faith gets to her feet and runs after Miss Felicity. Faith grabs Felicity's foot and pulls her into the ring, and Felicity lands on her feet. Faith kicks her in the gut and then goes to suplex her, but Felicity reverses with a suplex of her own! Felicity jumps to her feet and is then NAILED on her back with Hope's leather strap! The shot echoes throughout the arena and Felicity falls to her knees with her back erect, as her arms tense up from the pain. Hope reels back and nails Felicity again! This causes Felicity to fall to the canvas, as her skin begins to redden.]
Leah: Damn...
[Hope lashes Felicity one last time as Faith gets to her feet and the Tag Champions pick up Miss Felicity. Pain & Pleasure then whip Miss Felicity into the corner and Felicity hits the turnbuckle chest first before turning around in the corner in pain. As she turns, Hope has gotten on her knees infront of her, and Faith runs across the ring and uses Hope as a stepping stool to launch herself into Miss Felicity! Miss Felicity then stumbles from the corner and Faith stands up and gives Felicity a stunner!]
[Felicity immediately flies back in the corner, and Hope signals for the "Hope Dies"!! As Hope appraoches Felicity, Felicity kicks Hope in the gut and hits the "Acid Drop"!!! Felicity's body collapses ontop of Hope's and the referee starts the count!]
[1]
[Faith immediately kicks Felicity off Hope, and picks up Felicity. She then whips Felicity into the ropes, and upon Felicity's return, Faith lifts Felicity onto her shoulders looking for a death valley driver! Felicity kicks off Faith's head however, and kicks Faith in the gut, causing her to double over! Miss Felicity then signals for the Styles Clash!!! Miss Felicity lifts Faith up, but Faith flips up and causing Felicity to tumble backwards, making Faith land on Felicity's chest. She pins!]
[1]
[2]
[Felicity kicks out. Faith pulls her up, and Hope has gotten to her feet. Pain & Pleasure each wrap Miss Felicity in a headlock, and nail a double DDT!!! They then grab leather straps and begin beating Felicity as Felicity crawls around in pain from the shots.]
JLT: This is getting sick. Look at her back!
[Suddenly, Valeria comes running out from backstage with a cast on her arm! The crowd cheers at her appearance as Valeria runs to the ring!!!]
Leah: She is not... oh my god. What a dumb ho! Goin in there with a broken arm. Shiiiit.
[Valeria climbs up over the cage, which causes Hope & Faith to quit their attack on Felicity. Valeria then leaps off the cage and takes out both Hope & Faith with a cross body!!! The crowd roars at Valeria's move, and Valeria is quick to her feet. She checks on Felicity before seeing Hope rise out of the corner of her eye, and immediately nails her with a clothline, with the cast! Faith grabs Valeria from behind and using Valeria's red hair, bashes Valeria's face into the cage!]
[Valeria then elbows Faith in the head, and using her cast, punches Faith! Valeria then runs and springboards off the ropes, and hits her finishing "Flame Thrower"!!! She pins Faith!]
[1]
[2]
[Felicity breaks the count!!!!!]
Leah: What in the fuck?
JLT: Uhh...
[Valeria stands up and looks at Miss Felicity, who smiles evilly. Miss Felicity then digs in her pants and pulls out the "Grace" mask!!! Valeria looks on in shock!]
Leah: AW HELL NO!
JLT: FELICITY IS GRACE?!?
[Valeria's eyes widen as she suddenly becomes cornered by Felicity, Hope & Faith. The three divas then begin attacking Valeria!!! Faith quickly grabs Valeria and slowly delivers 3 german suplexes on Valeria, completeing her "Faith Kills"! The crowd boos, as Miss Felicity pulls up Valeria's body and delivers the "Styles Clash"!!! hope immediately locks on the "Hope Dies" Figure Four lock, while Faith & Felicity lash Valeria with leather straps. Valeria immediately taps out and the bell is rang.]
John Roe: Here is your winners and STILL, Divas Unleashed Tag Team Champions... Hope & Faith Clarkson, PAIN & PLEASURE!!!!
[Valeria lies still in the ring as Holly & Jake run out from backstage. Hope, Faith & Miss Felicity drag Valeria to the cage door where Jake grabs Valeria and carries her away, flipping Miss Felicity off as he walks away as Holly cries. Hope & Faith hold their belts above their heads as the crowd boos.]
JLT: I'm speechless...
["Candy" by Kosaga Riyu plays. Sexy Amanda walks out clapping.]
Amanda: Great match there Hope and Faith. Now you didn't think for one second that you would get away from me no did you? Sorry girls, but I'm more persistant than you think. I will not rest until I have what I want and that is the tag team titles. Since you beat me at my debut match, Humiliated me in the mud and pretty much walked away with what I desire. I'm here to issue you a rematch for your tag team titles.
Hope: Sorry Amanda. You had your chance and lost.
Felicity: But since we had so much fun humiliating you and that Azrael girl in the mud. We'll give you that rematch. On the next Loaded me and Hope versus you and a partner of your choice in a tag team mud wrestling match. Oh there is one thing though.
[Amanda is confused by that statement.]
Hope: Before Exile last week before out match. We found a little sex tape of you having sex with another woman.
[Amanda is shaking her head in disbelief. She forgot about that tape.]
Felicity: So we want to see how good you are in bed with two women. So if you lose to us at Exile. Not only do you have to sleep with us.
Hope: But you must be our slave. If you lose and we know you will. You are to get on your knees in the mud and swear to a oath that you will serve our every desire. As Faith puts a collar around your neck. Making you ours. We don't want your partner though. We just want you.
Felicity: Till we decide you can be free or till your surprise partner wins back your freedom. So pick a partner that is better than Azrael. Because your freedom is depending on it.
Amanda: I will find a better partner and I will beat you. Wait a minute if I beat you. What do I get besides one of the tag team titles?
Hope: If you beat us then we'll become your slaves.
Felicity: Both of us become your slaves. Till you grant us our freedom back.
[Amanda is smiling from ear to ear.]
Amanda: You got a deal. Oh, if I win and I will, you two have to get down on your knees and take the oath as I place a collar around your necks. Trust me, you won't be free for a long time. It'll be nice to have some help around the house.
["Candy" by Kosaga Riyu plays as Amanda walks backstage, while Hope, Faith & Miss Felicity begin to talk in the ring as the cage is raised.]
[Star is in the parking lot, she walks up to a limousine which is steamy and bumping up and done, and then tries to yank open the door but it’s locked. She then screams and begins to kick the door shouting “Get Out!” as her bodyguards stand near by.]
[The door opens as Star falls to her butt on the floor. Tequila gets out with a towel wrapped around her upper half and snarls towards Star.]
Tequila: Your match is next, Starlet. So you better to get to the ring now before your lose your precious championship. If you lose tonight Star, I’ll make sure you won’t get another shot any time soon. Hurry up. I can hear it starting!
[Star gets off her coveted booty and runs into the arena, Tequila climbs back into her limo and slams the door.]
Unleased Championship "United Nations" Match
JLT: Here we are. We’ve arrived! This is the big one, the main event, el evento grando! Star faces 24 other divas in hopes of retaining her title, the countries the divas are represented are draw randomly from a lottery which is being set up on the stage.
Leah: Yep, and Tequila knew what she was doing when she made this match. The whole of DU has been pissed off by Star’s arrogant, royal ways and now they all will hope to dethrone her once and for all.
JLT: So this is how the match works folks. Two divas start in the ring, there is a one hour time limit and during that hour 25 divas will enter the ring. Their entry is selected by a lottery with the country flashing on the video screen, and their entrant time is also random.
Leah: You can win the match by being the last woman in the ring to pin your opponent. Eliminations are by pinfall, submission or disqualification only. Not like the royal rumble where it is over the top rope.
[We cut to the stage where a lottery has been put in with random balls, 25 at total, inside. Krysta Taylor then presses the button as the balls begin to shuffle and then suddenly one is selected, it is hoisted up and then rolls down a tube which reads the entrant. We cut to the video screen where the Israeli flag is seen as the background as “Israel” appears on the screen next to “1”.]
[Israeli music plays as Lilith is lead out from the back by a Muslim woman, a Jewish child and a Christian child. They walk Lilith to the edge of the flames as the Demon Goddess walks down to the ring and slides under the bottom rope.]
JLT: Lilith is the first entrant, that is the unluckiest number but it won’t matter to her. She is a monster. I don’t think anybody will want to come out after her!
[Italian music plays as two Roman clad warriors lead down Faith Clarkson to the ring. She smirks evilly toward Lilith, she then brings both of the hunks down into a kiss before kneeing them in the groins and running down to the ring.]
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