Sunday December 27th 2009
The 02, London, England

[We pan around a cheering 02 arena, as we just saw, and focus in on some of the signs the audience has made for tonight. "FDV ROCKS!", "Where's your husband, Cheryl?", "TEAM TARA 4 LYFE" and "Go Christine!" are a few that the director picks out from a sea of coloured card, as fans have become very aware of the opening tradition of crowd signs. The camera cuts to Leah and JLT at ringside, JLT is dressed to the nines whilst Leah is wearing a Victoria Beckham dress, her hair slicked back, leaping up and down for life as JLT sits down, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow.]

Leah: YES! YES! YES! AMAZING! AMAZING!

[Leah stands applauding, an expression of love outpouring from her face like she's just witnessed the greatest thing she's ever seen.]

Leah: I LOVE YOU CHERYL!

JLT: Hello an-

Leah: She's just fantastic isn't she? I mean, all FOUR of them are! I just love them, I mean, THIS is what America is missing. When Americans were asking who these girls were and why they were coming here, I just felt pity on them. I mean, if you don't have Girls Aloud in your life, what DO you have? I would rather kill myself than not have the Aloud. And Cheryl, I mean, she is just fierceness personified isn't she? I mean, the woman OUTSED POSH! POSH! Our POSH! Cheryl is not just the UK's Sweetheart...she's mine as well.

JLT: You finished?! Nobody wants to hear your syophantic bullshit. We don't like Girls Aloud...GET OVER IT. Anyway, hello viewers! It's finally time for Forsaken Destiny V, after all the waiting, we're now coming to you live from L-

Leah: 1984?!

JLT: What? No, London!

Leah: Oh, it had been so long I forgot what year it is. Has Obama been elected yet? Or can I still go on rants blaming 'the man' for holding me down? I mean, if Obama is in, I can't complain. I can't hate the man if I am the man, you know?

JLT: Well, I think it's Christmas time but what appears to have happened is that because Christmas was a while ago, most of the references have been removed?

Leah: Ugh, that pisses me off. Put the CHRIST back into Christmas, people! Stop hating! I seriously don't even remember what this show looks like but it happens every year. I think we should all be chyrogenically frozen whilst we wait for the next show to come along. So I think FDV will be a nice surprise won't it? Like, "oh yeah, I remember that..."

JLT: Leah, shut up. We have a great line-up of matches tonight and we're live in London, this is the first Forsaken Destiny to be set outside Las Vegas! There are some amazing matches come up, and I think this show will be historic!

Leah: Yeah, fucking prehistoric more like it. I mean, what are they doing? Do they just sit around playing with themselves or something? Come on. We're WAITING. Then all the time it's like "ooh, come and check out the new Kylie single, it's AMAZING LOLZ" and it's like...HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE US OUR SHOW FIRST YOU STUPID BASTARDS?!

JLT: Leah! It's here now, just calm down!

Leah: No, I won't calm down. Do you know how long I've been waiting to see Cheryl Cole in the flesh? Do you know, Diane? Do you? Do you know? Do you? AGES. You know what? This whole fiasco makes me want to leave.

JLT: Leave? But you love Divas Unleashed!

Leah: I do...but I'm not sitting here being taken for a mug by some limey dickhead over the pond who hasn't even got the fucking decency to give us a quick update.

Rockford State Championship No DQ Match
Katie Kooper © vs. Mercedes Vargas

JLT: Tonight, we bring it. Our first match is one that I’m sure fans would have lovingly waited all evening to see but we’ve got a surprise for you because it’s coming up first, and it’s the sequel to Katie Kooper vs. Mercedes Vargas with the Rockford State Championship on the line!

Leah: Yep, following their epic encounter at Divacide…this will be a disappointment. It will, I’m not going to lie.

JLT: Leah! I don’t think it needs to be a sequel to Divacide anyway because that match was a classic, where else could we see Katie dropkick a civilian on a bus and Mercedes’s face get ravaged by insects? That match was the starting point for this whole feud. Ever since that fateful night in San Francisco, these two have been waiting to step back into the squared circle and go at it once more!

Leah: I know but that’s the communist way. Mercedes was fuming after the last match, she was humiliated and serves her right. I bet it’s just killing her that Veronica Valiant has a championship and she doesn’t.

JLT: Well that may all change tonight. Let’s keep in mind that this is a no disqualification match and thus anything goes, and I’m sure Mercedes will be using that to her advantage tonight. We all know about Katie’s resilence though, she’s not going to give up that championship belt very easily, she managed to win it back from Makaze, and we all know how insane that woman is.

Leah: I think Katie is prepared because of that feud with Makaze, everything after her will seem like a walk in the park. I’m just praying that hot tamale of a man Travis comes out here with her.

["Watch Me Shine" by Joanna Pacitti blasts as Katie comes up jumping around to the ring. The fans erupt for her as Travis tries to rile the crowd up.]

John Roe: The following contest is a no disqualification match for the Rockford State Championship. Introducing first, hailing from The Bronx, New York; weighing in at 140lbs, accompanied to the ring by her brother Travis, the current champion...KATIE KOOPER!!!

[Katie, with title belt around her waist, gets into the ring, climbs the top turnbuckle raising her arms. Then jumps down getting ready for the match. "Face to Face" by Siousie & the Banshees starts from the PA system as Mercedes appears on the entranceway, hand on hip. In the other hand, she holds a steel chair.]

John Roe: And introducing the challenger, hailing from Buenos Aires, Argentina; at a weight of 148lbs and representing VVMV...MERCEDES VARGAS!!!

[Some cheers but mostly boos and catcalls soon greet her. Oblivious and yet satisfied with their reaction for several seconds, she flips her long hair, then makes her way to the ring. As she reaches the apron, she climbs to the turnbuckle, then turns her head back to Katie and taps the steel chair that she specially brought for the match. Katie raises an eyebrow, seemingly wanting to hold onto her title belt but before she can, the referee takes it.]

JLT: Mercedes has brought a chair for this match, she's thought ahead. I have to say, this crowd is going wild for this match, they're buzzing. It's a great way to open FDV!

[The referee turns to the camera and holds up the Rockford State Championship up to signify the match is for the title. Katie glances at it and stares at the gold shimmering under the light, almost like she may be looking at it for the last time and then refocuses, seemingly psyching herself up for the bout. Mercedes stands with a dumb smile on her face and a chair hanging from her hand, she winks at Katie, as Katie’s eyes narrow. The referee calls for the bell and the fight gets underway.]

JLT: How is Mercedes going to start this match with a chair? That’s not very fair but then it is no DQ!

Leah: I’d like to praise her for being smart but…I won’t.

[Mercedes then approaches Katie and holds up the chair, tapping the back of it and proving that it’s a steel chair and smiles once more. Katie begins to think about ways around the chair and getting it out of her hands and her body mimics this, swaying from side to side, trying to make Mercedes unable to predict which way she will go. Katie then stops and simply walks towards Mercedes as Mercedes lifts up the chair and swings at her but Katie falls backwards in the same manner as if she had got hit by the chair and quickly scrambles behind Mercedes’s legs to come up behind her.]

[Mercedes quickly swings the chair behind her as Katie ducks and backs away, seemingly unsettled by the fast move. Katie continues to circle her like she’s circling a bomb, seemingly uneasy as well, as a nervous tension bites the air. Mercedes then swings the chair at Katie but Katie catches it in mid-air and snatches it from her and simply tosses the chair in Mercedes’s face as it connects and Mercedes stumbles backwards, holding her nose. Katie then spears Mercedes down into the mat as the fans cheer and begins to nail her with right hands.]

Leah: Katie’s going to town on Mercedes, I wonder where the rush of emotion came from with these two women? Katie’s been sick recently too.

JLT: Yeah, so she’s defending her championship whilst being ill, I hope it isn’t anything contagious!

Leah: What, like Mercedes’s cooties?

[Katie then grabs a chunk of Mercedes hair and whips her into the corner and follows up with a running clothesline. Katie then props Mercedes up onto the top rope and nails her with a right hand and as Katie is climbing up to join Mercedes, Mercedes nails her with a punch to the stomach and elbows Katie in the face. Mercedes then quickly hops down from the top rope and heads outside of the ring. She passes the commentary booth, giving a dirty look to Leah.]

Leah: BITCH!

[Mercedes ignores her and picks up the ring bell and tosses it in the ring. Katie Kooper finds her feet and decides to watch Mercedes bring out the fun stuff. Mercedes then snatches the microphone from John Roe and tosses it into the ring, and picks up one of the Japanese commentary teams Macbook Pro laptops. Mercedes slides it under the bottom rope. Mercedes then looks around for more weapons but can’t seem to find any good ones, and then begins to shout at the stagehands who operate the cameras.]

JLT: Mercedes is fired up!

[Katie Kooper yells at her to get back into the ring as Mercedes slides back in. Mercedes picks up the ring bell but then Katie raises an eyebrow at her and shoots her a look, stating that she wants to wrestle for real. Katie then holds up her arm for a tie-up test of strength, as Mercedes obliges and the two divas lock hands. Mercedes pulls Katie into a side headlock but Katie reverses the move into a back suplex.]

Leah: Nice counter by Katie. She will be my sister-in-law soon you know. I wonder what Mr & Mrs Kooper are like? I hope it’s not…guess who’s coming to dinner!

JLT: Shut up!

[Katie then scrambles and picks up a microphone, she stands with a hand on her hand and pats the top of it to see if it’s on. Mercedes finds her feet slowly, holding the back of her head. Katie brings the microphone to her lips.]

Katie: Hey Mercedes, let’s tango!

[Mercedes turns around at the mention of her name as Katie slams the microphone into her head, as a deafening amount of feedback stems from the now wrecked microphone. Katie then covers her for a cover, as brother Travis looks on.]

JLT: That was a harsh shot! Katie has a pin!

[1]

[2]

[Mercedes gets her shoulder up.]

JLT: Mercedes is determined to win tonight and with this no DQ environment, I can see this match lasting all night!

Leah: Ugh, I bloody hope not. What the heck is Mercedes wearing? All yellow and shit? Hey Merc! Uma Thurman called, she wants her Kill Bill outfit back.

[Mercedes rolls over onto her stomach and touches the top of her head to see that an edge of the microphone clipped her forehead and she’s now bleeding. Seeing the blood seems to make her stronger, as she instantly leaps to her feet. Katie turns towards her but Mercedes leaps into the air with a ‘Coup de Grace’ spinning roundhouse kick.]

JLT: That came out of no where!

[Mercedes begins to lay boots into the head of Katie as she lies on the canvas, wearing her down. Mercedes then heads to pick up the ring bell and heads to the top rope, Mercedes climbs to the top and holds the ring bell in one hand. She leaps and transfers the bell to being under her knees as flies. She lands on top of it with Katie Kooper’s head underneath, as the fans chant for the move. Mercedes holds her knees from the move but has an idea as Katie lies motionless, holding her head.]

JLT: Ooh, these is getting vicious. I’m not sure if I’m going to like this!

Leah: I’m loving it!

[Mercedes then picks up the Mac laptop and fiddles around with it in her arms and then lays it down in the middle of the ring. She grabs Katie by her auburn locks and drags her across the ring so she’s laying facedown on the keyboard of the laptop. Mercedes then turns on the webcam feature and pulls the feed onto full screen, with the feed projecting Katie lying on the laptop almost like a mirror. Mercedes then mounts Katie’s back and begins to ram her head into the laptop, with Katie seeing what’s happening to her on the screen.]

Leah: Hahaha, this is classic!

[Mercedes continuously rams Katie’s head into the Mac until eventually the Macbook goes dead from the damage. Mercedes then turns Katie over from a cover, as Katie’s eyes glaze over after taking so many shots to the head.]

[1]

[2]

[Katie gets her shoulder up.]

JLT: I’m pleased to see Katie kick out of that move, Mercedes is just so cocky, but I hope Katie is okay. We all know what too many shots to the face can do to you.

Leah: Yeah, look at Jenna Jameson. She looks awful now, all those nasty hair extensions and botox…

[Mercedes looks on with slight shock and then resentment. She rolls out of the ring and pulls out a chair, sliding it into the ring and then looks under the ring and begins to throw more objects into the ring, such as a trashcan, broom, a fire extinguisher and then takes a step backwards as she sees a bicycle under the ring. She then decides she wants it and begins to tug at it, trying to free it from the mess under the apron.]

Leah: Why the hell is a bicycle under there?! What’s next, the kitchen sink?

[Katie Kooper has found her feet and charges towards Mercedes, leaping through the ropes with a suicide dive, taking both down near the catwalk. Katie then spots the bicycle and pulls it out and props it up against the ring post. Katie then brings Mercedes to her feet and tosses her into the steel steps. Mercedes hits them back first and ends up in a sitting position against them, Katie then runs towards her and delivers a dropkick to the chest of the Argentine, crushing her against the steel steps.]

JLT: This is brutal.

Leah: Thank you. Thank you for stating the obvious. You are USELESS.

[Katie then calls Travis over, as he bounds over like a puppy, and asks him to flip the bicycle upset down in front of the catwalk. He does as Katie heads back to Mercedes and begins to extract some revenge by nailing her with closed fits to the forehead, trying to open up the wound on her face and draw some more blood.]

[Travis calls out to Katie that the bicycle is done, as the bicycle sits upside down with it’s wheels in the air. Katie then grabs Mercedes by the hair and walks her over to the bike, she holds her head over the backwheel, and then calls out to Travis. Travis then begins to pump the pedals around, causing the rear wheel to spin on Mercedes’ forehead, and does it as fast as possible, as the wheel begins to spin faster and faster, causing more friction to the forehead of Mercedes as it begins to burn.]

Leah: This is genius!

JLT: That looks so painful! Mercedes is going to lose some skin, these two are really thinking outside the box!

[Mercedes tries to back away from the bike, her arms flailing, Katie eventually decides enough is enough and pulls back Mercedes head and shoves her into the bike, as she crashes down over it and lands awkwardly, with Travis leaping out of the way. Katie then raises her arms up in the air in a victorious manner.]

JLT: That has got to be stinging and hurting tremendously, I almost feel sorry for her.

[Mercedes holds her face, with more blood seaping out of a damaged wound now, but finds it difficult to stand with a bicycle on top of her. Katie then calls the referee out of the ring and tries to mount a cover but decides against it, enjoying seeing Mercedes laid out and trapped, and so plots her next move.]

JLT: Is it me or does it seem like these two women aren’t really that intent on winning…they just want to cause as much damage to each other as possible?

Leah: I get that vibe too, both would love to win but they don’t seem to be in a rush to end this match anytime soon. They want to kill each other. Well, I know Mercedes does. That’s what they do over there in Brazil.

JLT: Argentina.

Leah: Brazil!

[Katie steps back into the ring and picks up the trashcan and the broom. Katie then sits the steel trashcan so the solid end is facing upwards and begins to jam at it with the broom until she creates a hole. Katie then rips the steel from the end of the trashcan so it’s almost see-through and then lifts the trashcan up in the air and wears it like a body suit of armor. Katie has her broom still in hand and waits, crouching for Mercedes to step into the ring.]

Leah: What the hell? She looks like Optimus Prime!

[Mercedes has risen to her feet and glances into the ring to see Katie wearing that clobber and shoots her a ‘WTF’ look. Mercedes then rolls her eyes and approaches fans in the audience, with some shouting abuse at her face. She holds her hand out for some beer as a fan hands it to her and she holds it against her burning skin. A fan then takes a picture of Mercedes but Mercedes smiles at him sweetly and takes the camera from the admiring male fan and slips it into her bra for safe keeping.]

Leah: You know, if someone has just tuned in…

[Mercedes then picks up a steel chair lying at ringside, continuously sipping beer as she does, and then slides into the ring. Katie stands, armed like a homemade Transformers character, and challenges Mercedes to come at her. Mercedes runs towards her as Katie swings the broom but misses, Mercedes slides into the corner and picks up the fire extinguisher. She turns and sprays the foam all over Katie, blinding the air in the ring.]

Leah: FOAM PARTY!

[Mercedes then picks up her chair and as the air cleans, swings at Katie’s head, knocking her down to the canvas. Katie then tries to get up but finds herself stuck in the trash can and wriggles to get out but Mercedes immediately leaps onto the trashcan with both feet to hold her down.]

JLT: Katie did not think that through.

Leah: It’s hilarious though!

[Mercedes casually stands on Katie’s stomach as Katie fights to free herself, struggling to and with her ears ringing from the chair shot to the head, fighting another battle to stay conscious. Mercedes then reaches behind her ear, brushing her hair behind her, to reveal a cigarette taped to the top of her ear. She reaches down into her boots and pulls out a lighter. Mercedes then lights the cigarette.]

JLT: You can’t smoke indoors! It’s illegal! She needs to put, ugh, we’re going to get a fine, aren’t we?

Leah: Yes.

[Mercedes smokes the cigarette, standing there casually like she’s not even in a wrestling match. She blows the smoke out into the air and then glances down at a trapped Katie, almost like she’s suddenly realising she’s there. Mercedes then raises an eyebrow and drops to her knees near what would be the chest of Katie. Mercedes then leans down with the cigarette and stubs it out on Katie’s face.]

Leah: Jesus.

JLT: I cannot watch, that was…horrible!

[The fans boo as Katie immediately flinches, sending the cigarette flying across the ring and landing with the referee quickly using the fire extinguisher to make sure it’s out. Katie’s legs begin to thump the canvas from the pain, as Mercedes sits on top of the trashcan.]

JLT: It looks like Mercedes got payback for those stings she received back at Divacide!

Leah: Please Jamie, nobody remembers Divacide. They barely remember the card for this show.

[Mercedes then yells at the referee to count the pin, as Mercedes crosses her leg over the other and leans backwards casually, a smug smile on her face. The referee begins to count.]

JLT: Don’t tell me she’ll win like this, how smug!

[1]

[2]

Leah: Oh wait…

[Travis Kooper slides into the ring and clotheslines Mercedes, with the crowd cheering.]

JLT: And I guess that’s payback from Travis for kicking him in the balls!

Leah: I can’t believe my man hits women! Half of me is pissed…the other half is thinking about how exciting it will be to talk about his wifebeating on Maury!

[Travis shrugs to the crowd, seemingly feeling bad, as Mercedes lies on the canvas. Travis then helps his sister up and out of the trashcan, tending to her newly burnt cheek. Mercedes quickly finds her feet and picks up the broom, she approaches Travis from behind and nails him in the back of the head with it, knocking him down to the floor.]

Leah: …HOW DARE SHE! That is MY man!

JLT: He’s not your damn man! Mercedes needed to take him out sooner or later!

[Katie stumbles backwards as Mercedes swings with the broom at her head but Katie catches the broom in mid-air and pulls Mercedes towards her. Katie catches Mercedes in a side headlock, with the broom resting in front of Mercedes face, and then runs to the ropes, nailing a KatScratchFever stratusfaction and plants Mercedes face on the broom handle. Katie quickly covers.]

JLT: Katie nailed it!

[1]

[2]

[Mercedes gets her shoulder up at the last second.]

Leah: Ugh, why don’t these communists just give UP?

[Katie looks on in shock and then glances down at Mercedes with contempt. Katie then picks up the broom and crouches down in the corner, waiting for Mercedes to rise to her feet, as the crowd begins to stomp their feet in anticipation.]

Leah: You know, if you have a broom but you put 17 new heads and 24 new handles on it…are they still the Sugababes?

JLT: Will you shut up with that? We’re bloody sick of it. Anyway, it doesn’t look like Mercedes Vargas will be getting up any time soon! She seems to be drowning in that crimson mask of blood.

[Katie then abandons her plan, seeing as Mercedes is not moving, and instead approaches Mercedes and delves down into her bra, pulling out the camera. Katie then begins to take pictures of Mercedes’s yet again bloodied and savaged face, enjoying the glee of taking pictures and then slides the camera out of the ring.]

Leah: I bet those will be on Facebook tomorrow.

[Katie then begins to nail Mercedes with even more shots to her head and picks up the broom, and begins to choke Mercedes with it, pressing it down onto the floor with Mercedes’s throat trapped underneath. Katie then releases Mercedes and yanks her up to her feet, whipping her to the ropes, Mercedes bounces back as Katie nails her with the end of the broom, knocking her down into the mat.]

JLT: Ouch, right between the eyes!

Leah: …so, the nose, then?

[Katie then leans down to slap Mercedes across the face but Mercedes suddenly grabs her, rolling her up into a small package and grabbing the ropes for leverage. The referee counts.]

JLT: Wait! Mercedes has a roll up!

[1]

[2]

[3]

Leah: Noooo!

John Roe: Here is your winner…and STILL...Rockford State Champion…MERCEDES VARGAS!!!

JLT: Mercedes is the champion! That roll-up came out of no where and surprised the hell out of Katie, she was too shocked to react!

Leah: Oh please, Mercedes had the ropes too. I am not happy.

[The camera cuts backstage to Tequila’s VIP and invitation-only party. A room backstage has been decorated with purple ballons and silver strings, with a DJ who is currently spinning “Fight For This Love” by Cheryl Cole with Kathy Griffin dancing on the dancefloor as Makaze stands in the corner looking she’s going to kill her.]

[Various favourite stars of DU are present, with many of divas in Tequila’s inner circle and those who have yet to offend her being invited. There’s a special bar with a drag queen dressed up as Icenique serving the drinks, and next to that, Holly Wentz is sitting with her legs crossed on a stool, reading a book. Mystika approaches her.]

Mystika: What are you reading, Holly?

Holly: It’s a self-help book all about motivation. I’m reading it for Tequila because she can’t be bothered.

Mystika: Where is Tequila?

Holly: She’s over there, serving punch. You know, if she would only hone her emotional insecurities into her ring of responsibi-

Mystika: Yeah, whatever.

[Mystika approaches Tequila who is happily dishing out her own punch from a giant trash can to party-goers.]

Mystika: I hope you remembered to wash out this trash can before you put all this punch in it.

Tequila: Of course I did! I wouldn’t do that two years in a row…

[Tequila laughs loudly as Mystika then looks around at the party scope. Tequila glances down nervously and sees a teabag floating in the punch. She quickly leans down and pinches it with her fingers, tossing it over her shoulder. It hits Maya Okosaki in the back of the head. Maya turns around and begins stroking the back of her hair. Tequila briefly waves at her as Maya returns a confused smile, before Tequila turns to smile sweetly again, this time at Mystika.]

Mystika: You know, I have to commend you for inviting those 3WL people here tonight. It’s been nice to see them and I’m removed from all of this 3WL vs. DU business. I’m a legend in both places.

Tequila: I know, we should go mingle with them.

[Tequila and Mystika leave the punch station and approach Crystal Deymonaz, KibbyD, Tory Blaze, Strawberry and a 3WL star who are standing talking. Tory sips her punch.]

Tory: Nice punch, Tequila. It has an interesting tang to it.

Crystal: Tecky, I could really do with an herbal…refreshment, if you know what I mean.

Tequila: Well I don’t know about tea but we have Coke and stuff.

Strawberry: Oh shit, you guys got coke here?!

Mystika: Well, yeah.

Tequila: Yeah, this is Divas Unleashed.

[Tory pauses and then hesitates, stifling a small laugh.]

Tory: Isn’t…isn’t that a line from Clueless?

[Tequila and Crystal exchange glances when Angela Pontes joins the circle of intermixed divas.]

Tequila: Oh Angela! It’s nice you could make it. You know, I have to apologise for all this ‘invasion’ business. I like 3WL, I really do.

Angela: Well, thanks.

Tequila: You’re always welcome. I mean, I know if 3WL Athenas wanted come to DU then some people are going to be all "what about the strain on our resources?" Well it's like when I had this garden party for my father's birthday, right? I put R.S.V.P. 'cause it was a sit-down dinner. But some people came that like did not R.S.V.P. I was like totally buggin'…

[Tequila rolls her eyes, thinking about the stress, as Tory’s eyes narrow.]

Tequila: So I had to haul ass to the kitchen, redistribute the food, and squish in extra place settings. But by the end of the day it was, like, the more the merrier, you know? And so if the divas could just get to the kitchen, rearrange some things, we could certainly party with the Athenas. And in conclusion may I please remind you it does not say R.S.V.P. on the Statue of Veronica Valiant. Thank you very much.

Tory: …that’s another line from Clueless!

[Tequila turns to Tory, annoyed.]

Tequila: Okay, you know what?! CLEARLY you watch too much TV.

Grudge Match
Lilith vs. Luna

JLT: We have Lilith and Luna fighting next. This shall be a battle of the beasts, Lilith is iconic in her own right for her…behaviour and appearance and Luna has been quite controversial in DU. Two controversial figures, meeting tonight. This match is so perfect.

Leah: I think this whole thing started when Lilith kidnapped Luna and asked her to join forces with her in a tag team and Luna refused and then Lilith tried to kill her!

JLT: Yes, Lilith tried to burn Luna alive, she trapped her in her dressing room and set fire to it! Luna is not as mentally unstable as Lilith is, Lilith is just a flat-out psychopath.

Leah: With amazing fashion sense.

JLT: I am excited for this!

["This Is" by Grace Jones begins to play and the audience begins to boo as Lilith flashes on the stage, drenched in a cloak, and as the music hits, suddenly rips the cloak off to reveal herself. She smiles widely, putting her head forward to make herself look as demonic as possible, as she walks down to the ring, playing with her tongue at the fans in the front rows.]

John Roe: The following is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from the depths of Hell, weighing in at 200lbs...LILITH!!!

[The music of "Spice Up Your Life" by Spice Girls hits. The drum roll tumbles down and 6 silver pyros shoot from the ceiling and erupt on stage. "La la la, la la la la la la, la la la, la la la laaaa..." streams out over the PA and through the smoke, Luna skips out onto the stage. She's all smiles as she dances to the music. She then heads to the ring high-fiving fans on both sides of the aisle.]

John Roe: And her opponent, from Hilo, Hawaii; at a weight of 155lbs...LUNA!!!

[Lilith stands, peering down at Luna, with two inches of height over her. Lilith then picks to smile and lick her lips, as Luna’s eyes narrow. Luna then reaches back and strikes Lilith across the face with a fist. Lilith stumbles backwards, surprised by the power, and then returns the favour, punching Luna in the face.]

JLT: These women are fairly evenly matched!

Leah: Except Lilith is prettier.

[The two women then tie-up with Luna grabbing Lilith into a headlock, Luna wrestles Lilith into a fireman’s carry, holding her on her shoulders and then drops Lilith down into the mat with a ¾ neckbreaker. Luna covers.]

JLT: Luna wasting no time, that was a high impact move!

[1]

[2]

[Lilith gets her shoulder up.]

Leah: Lilith needs a victory tonight. I don’t know what she would do if she lost.

[Luna pulls Lilith up, finding it hard to grasp Lilith’s bald held, and whips her into the turnbuckle. Luna then follows up with a running body splash, crushing Lilith between the turnbuckle and Luna’s weight. Luna then places Lilith on the top rope and pulls her into a military press, hoisting her over her head. Luna then walks to the centre of the ring, smile on her face, but Lilith drops down behind Luna.]

JLT: Lilith’s countering!

[Lilith grabs Luna’s hair and swings her off her feet, tossing her across the ring and into the turnbuckle with a hair mare. Lilith then follows up with boots to the chest of Luna. Lilith places Luna on the top turnbuckle and climbs up to join her. Lilith pulls Luna into position and leaps back with an ‘Ashes to Ashes’ fisherman’s suplex from the top rope.]

Leah: Bam! Did you see the vibrate?

JLT: That was high-risk move but it paid off.

[Luna smacks into the canvas and Lilith floatovers for a pin, her eyes beaming.]

[1]

[2]

[Luna gets her shoulder up.]

JLT: Luna is much more popular than Lilith is, she should be able to feed off the fan’s energy tonight.

Leah: Lilith is more fashionable though, so you have to weigh it all up.

[Lilith pulls Luna off the mat, Lilith grabs her hand over Luna’s throat, looking to go for her variant of a chokeslam but Luna counters, grabbing Lilith’s throat as well. The two divas then stand, choking each other, in the middle of the ring, each intensifying their grip on the other.]

JLT: They’re going to choke each other out!

[Luna begins to lean backwards, trying to make it difficult for Lilith to maintain a strangehold, but Luna then shifts her way to pull Lilith down into the mat with an almost arm drag. Luna then ducks behind Lilith, pulling her into a sleeper hold.]

[Lilith then grabs a hold of Luna’s wrist and bites down onto it, trying to draw blood in her ‘Cyrosa’ move as her teeth sink into Luna’s skin. Luna shoves Lilith forwards as Lilith hits the ropes and bounces back. Luna catches Lilith, powerslamming her.]

Leah: This is what Clash of the Titans SHOULD have been!

JLT: Oh, are they making a new movie out of that? I bet that won’t be out for a couple of months yet.

[Luna holds her position for a cover.]

[1]

[2]

[Lilith gets her shoulder up.]

JLT: Lilith evades the pin! Luna is trying to get her with the element of surprise.

[Luna pulls Lilith to her feet but Lilith counters Luna, suddenly springing to life and batting Luna’s arms away as Lilith knees Luna in the midsection and pulls her into a suplex position. Lilith hoists Luna off the ground and into the air for her ‘Hellish Nightmares’ move, with Luna hovering in the air as Lilith tries to keep her balance and get the blood rushing to Luna’s head.]

JLT: Lilith is going for her finisher!

[Luna manages to counter, landing on her feet in front of Lilith, and with the suplex hold locked in, Luna hoists Lilith into the air and holds Lilith up there this time, waiting for several seconds, before countering the move and slamming Lilith down into the mat with a powerbomb, almost a variant of Luna’s ‘Eclipse’ finisher.]

Leah: Boo!

[Luna then presses both of Lilith’s legs to the floor and pushes her weight down on her, covering.]

JLT: Here we go!

[1]

[2]

[3]

John Roe: Here is your winner…LUNA!!!

JLT: Luna picks up the victory. That was an even fight but I think Luna overpowered Lilith in that one, and Lilith’s lack of ring activity recently didn’t help.

Leah: Yeah, better luck next time. Keep it fierce, doll, keep it fierce!

[Luna is not content with just winning the match, picking Lilith up once more and slamming her down into the canvas with another powerbomb. Luna then looks satisfied, the anger coming through on her face, and then leaves the ring, not giving any time to celebrate, as if this match was more important than fan appreciation.]

JLT: Aww, Luna looks emotional.

Leah: It’s probably just her hormone pills.

[Luna heads up the catwalk whilst Lilith recovers on the mat, being assisted by the referee who checks on her, as Luna’s silhouette disappears backstage.]

[The camera cuts backstage to the interview area where Krysta Taylor is standing with an angry look on her face, microphone poised at her mouth, and boobs on show.]

Krysta: Hello, tonight I'm going to interview myself. That's a first in Divas Unleashed as nobody has ever done that before.

[Krysta shoots the audience a smug look.]

Krysta: Ever since I arrived in Divas Unleashed, Holly Wentz has set about making my life hell. She's never won. But we both started our Rose Petals column together and she spent ALL of her time trying to prove she was better than me. Well, karma came and shot her in the face because I ended up taking the column over all by myself. ME. Yes. ME!

[Krysta flips her hair and begins to walk towards the entrance way of the stage which heads out into the arena.]

Krysta: Holly is a disgusting woman. Not only is she a lesbian who tries to seduce all of the divas who she runs into, she's just completely vicious. She has always been threatened by me, by my beauty, my talent, my connections, and everything else. She just wishes she was me, and tonight, I'm going to finally beat the shit out of her like I've wanted to do for seven years!

[Krysta smiles, she stands behind the curtain before the catwalk, literally broadcasting on the scene before she steps out for her match.]

Krysta: She thinks she can get away with trying to out-do me? Trying to steal all my interviews from me? Get away with spilling all that coffee? Have I ever spilt coffee? NO? You know why? Because I'm talented. How much do you think DU takes out of my salary to pay for all of her coffee disasters? TOO MUCH. In 2008, she set about a wicked, heinous, horrible and downright callous campaign and stole all of my interviews from under my nose. I was hardly on TV...but never again.

[Krysta seethes with anger as she stands in a little room just before the catwalk.]

Krysta: So tonight, Holly, I'm going to expose you for good. I just can't understand why DU employs you. You're useless. Nobody likes you. I mean, how could anyone like a woman who is just so...filled with hate?

[A door creaks open and Holly walks in with a giant smile on her face, a glass of punch in hand.]

Holly: Hi Krysta! I've got a lovely cup of punch for you. Just a token to say good luck for our match tonight.

[Holly offers the glass to Krysta as Krysta's eyes narrow, she snatches the glass from Holly's hands, almost ripping it, and then tosses it aside. She turns to the camera]

Krysta: You see?!

Grudge Match
Holly Wentz vs. Krysta Taylor

JLT: Well next up we have a match that has been brewing for almost seven years now as Holly Wentz and Krysta Taylor meet after an eternity of hating each other. It’s a rarity to see these two in the ring as they’re not wrestlers but the fact they are rival reporters is what caused this feud in the first place!

Leah: I know, do you remember Rose Petals? Me neither. That was where this all started, it’s a classic case of girl group politics. Krysta felt that Holly was overshadowing her in the column and thus went to management and got her fired. Classic move.

JLT: Well last year, Krysta almost spent six months off screen as all of the divas preferred to talk to Holly. Holly is lovely, I’ve been out to lunch with her and she is just such a nice person. Krysta’s a bitch, that’s why most divas refuse to talk to her, so I’m rooting for Holly in this match!

Leah: There’s nothing wrong with speaking your mind, I prefer Krysta’s outspoken approach rather than the brown nosing that Holly does. She’s such a kick-ass. She always gets the big interviews and never asks any hard-hitting questions. She’s like the Barbara Walters of DU!

JLT: This should be an explosive match irregardless, I know that Holly and Krysta have always wanted to rip each other apart and were not able to due to their reporter statuses and having to maintain a level of professionalism for the company…but tonight, there’s none of that, which is why I am intensely excited for this contest!

["Celebration" by Madonna begins to play as Holly Wentz walks out to applause from the audience, she looks nervous as she shifts down to the ring dressed in black. She has taped up her wrists, her hands and anything else that she wants to take precaution against due to her clumsy nature.]

John Roe: The following contest is a grudge match. Introducing first...HOLLY WENTZ!!!

[The crowd cheers for her name as Holly approaches the ring steps. She accidentally misses the first step, causing her fall up the stairs. She gives a nervous laugh, hoping that will be the only accident of the night, and steps into the ring. "Perfect" by Mason vs. Princess Superstar begins to play as the audience boos. Krysta struts out in a tight red corset which leaves very little to the imagination. Krysta works her time in the spotlight, posing like a pornstar on each side of the stage.]

John Roe: And introducing her opponent...KRYSTA TAYLOR!!!

[Krysta slowly makes her way down the aisle, soaking up the attention and pulling various sexy faces for fan's cameras. Krysta finally steps into the ring and the referee immediately signals for the bell and the fans cheer as the match is underway. Holly stands with her arms folded, seemingly upset at being forced to wrestle Krysta as Krysta begins to giggle at Holly, pointing and mocking her appearance as she relays her thoughts to some of the fans in the front row. Holly’s eyes narrow and as Krysta has her back turned, dissing Holly to a Krysta supporter in the front row, Holly charges at her from behind and leaps onto her back.]

[Krysta stumbles with Holly on her back and grabs Holly’s hair and yanks her forward as Holly lands on her butt on the canvas. Holly quickly finds her feet and charges towards Krysta, knocking her down into the mat and nailing her with mostly-missed punches to the face.]

JLT: I don’t think this match will be a Divas Unleashed classic.

[Krysta overpowers Holly and straddles her, grabbing her head and ramming it into the canvas. Holly tries to fight back and slaps Krysta across the face and tosses her off her. The two divas scramble to their feet as Holly seems to care less about her appearance but Krysta furiously adjusts her hair.]

[Holly approaches Krysta but Krysta kicks her in the gut and pulls her into a suplex position. Krysta then tries, and fails, several times to hoist Holly over her head but finally manages to deliver a sloppy suplex. Krysta then tries to cover Holly, hooking the leg but seeming to be so disgusted at the thought of actually touching her.]

[1]

[2]

[Holly kicks out.]

JLT: I was surprised that wasn’t the end, to be honest.

Leah: This is amazing…for all the right reasons.

[Krysta brings Holly to her feet and slaps her across the face. Krysta laughs and slaps her again but Holly instead fires back with a hard closed-fist right to the jaw. Krysta stumbles backwards. Holly then grabs Krysta and whips her to the ropes, Krysta bounces back and Holly swings for a clothesline but completely misses and Krysta stops, she grabs Holly by the back of the head and yanks her down into the mat with what can only be described as a hair pull.]

[Krysta then drags Holly by her hair over into the corner and shoves Holly into it, ramming her head into the top turnbuckle. Krysta then begins to slap Holly across the face repeatedly, turning Holly’s cheek bright red, but Holly manages to catch one of Krysta’s arms and pokes her in the eye.]

Leah: Have you seen those youtube videos called Botchmania? I think this match will have it’s own special tribute.

[Krysta holds her face as Holly awkwardly climbs to sit on the top rope. Holly then grabs Krysta by the head and tries to execute a tornado DDT but instead she forgets the tornado part and instead just plummets to the mat next to the turnbuckle and drags Krysta down in a vertical straight line.]

[Krysta lies in a heap, as Holly rolls her over and lies on top of her for what resembles a pin.]

JLT: And we have a pin!

[1]

[2]

[3]

John Roe: Here is your winner…HOLLY WENTZ!!!

[The fans cheer wildly for Holly’s victory as she stands up, battered and bruised from her encounter and climbs the turnbuckle and begins to celebrate her win over her rival by punching the air as the sounds of her entrance music fill the arena.]

JLT: Aw, Holly looks so happy!

Leah: Well she won but then could you really be happy with a match like that? What a waste of time, I could have been continued watching Glee on my iPhone.

JLT: It wasn’t a waste of time, these women have had such bad blood over the years and now it’s all finally settled!

Leah: I bet it won’t change anything except to make Krysta even bitchier.

[The scene cuts backstage to Tequila’s exclusive party once again, with Madonna’s “Express Yourself” blasting from the speakers with various divas helping themselves to punch and Madison Seton and Tori Marie dancing together with Gay Bandit doing his best Vogue dance. Talking and laughter are filling the room, mixed in some fake smiles and air kisses.]

[A knock at the door is heard and Crystal Deymonaz, the designated door-opener, walks over to answer it. Crystal pulls back the door to reveal the five members of Girls Aloud standing there and Crystal smiles. Girls Aloud say “hi!” in an excited unison.]

Crystal: Girls! Welcome! Come on in!

[Nadine, Sarah, Kimberley and Cheryl walk into the room and Crystal, not noticing the other member slams the door in Nicola’s face, leaving the pale ginger singer to look confused as the door almost hits her. Crystal smiles, welcoming the four ‘hot’ members of Girls Aloud into the room, with Nicola left out in the cold.]

[Gay Bandit spots Cheryl Cole and freezes.]

Gay Bandit: Oh…my…god. It’s Cheryl! It’s Cheryl Cole! OMG! OMG!

[Bandit begins to hyperventilate and starts to feel faint, as Madison and Tori tell him to relax as he falls to the floor. Crystal then calls over to Tequila to come and meet the girl band. Tequila races over, with Barracuda Jones carrying four glasses of punch and trying not to spill them.]

Tequila: Girls! It’s so lovely to see you, your opening performance was fantastic! We just love you here at Divas Unleashed!

Sarah: Aww, thanks. Where's the booze?

Tequila: Here, we have some punch for you. Are you enjoying the evening? Have you met any of the other divas yet?

[Tequila turns to Cheryl and Nadine, who are standing next to each other with a hint of tension, and Cheryl smiles as they both begin to speak with their British accents.]

Cheryl Cole: We met Laura at this sherbiz paoty an she was lovalee, coz despeet hor reputation she didden deck none a the paps ootside.

Nadine: Aym reuhally ehngray. Naht beycers ahf may drank burt beycers ahl thays peoypul hev bugger dressing rums theyn may. Aym un Gerrls Aloid dehmmut!

[Tequila nods with wide-eyes a fixed smile on her face. She slowly turns around with the same expression locked on.]

Tequila: …HOLLY!!!