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Sunday 24th October 2004
God rules the ocean and all the sounds,
[The arena is in darkness as the worldwide audience cuts to the Sydney Superdome. Fans are cheering, screaming, standing on chairs and some dabbing themselves with cold flannels at the anticipation surrounding the pay per view beginning any second. The sounds of gushing water are heard faintly, as a blue light strobes itself upon the stage.]
[The stage is designed as a circular structure with the video wall surrounded by two tall tanks vertically on either side with a gap at the bottom which is the entranceway. The tanks are filled with tropical fish, coral reeves and of course, water.]
[There is no sign of a ramp as the blue light fades, drum clicking is heard as the opening line of “Ocean Avenue” by Yellowcard is playing. The lights resume fully and the band are on stage as the fans cheer and applaud, the group break into their song which is sure to have featured on many teen movie soundtracks. The group then strike their last note of the song when rumbling is heard.]
[The lights begin to fade in and out, until they resume and the fans cheer. Suddenly the two tanks burst sending the water gushing out and roll down the stage to fill up the surrounding gaps. The water fills up the gap around making the stage seem like a moat as fans in the closet rows get hit by the tidal wave. The water settles as it is drained from the stage and put into the moat. The fans cheer, we cut to JLT and Leah who is sitting at ringside, Jamie looks scared.]
Leah: Hello and welcome everyone across the world tuning into Nautical! We’re coming live at you from Sydney, Australia for a climatic event to conclude out Oceanic tour! Not only will the sell-out crowd here witness this event, but you at home will too! I’m Leah, I’m from Germany, and I’m joined by Jamie L. Tyland, also called JLT, tonight!
JLT: Wonderful introduction Leah, already Nautical is underway with some awesome effects from our production team. That tidal wave looked like it was coming straight towards us! We have a history-making event tonight jam-packed with mouth-watering matches that you won’t want to miss!
Leah: That’s why we recommend urinating into your beer bottle and to tape your eyes open as not to miss a second of tonight’s action! That is the extreme measure you fans at home have to go to ensure you are getting your moneys worth, oh, and record this too! So you can play it over, and over, and over, and over again!
JLT: I think we’re high on the excitement, and we have every right to be. Tonight we see a barbaric encounter, five women face off in a five-sided plastic prism with the winner of that gruelling match then having ten minutes rest before taking on the monster Lady Devil Fist Yuku Shiro for the Unleashed Championship!
Leah: Ferrari, Katrina, Mystika, Nyssa and Razor will all face off; either of them could walk out of tonight as the brand new Unleashed Champion. Jaguar Yoshiko postponed this event on Exile, and she sneakily added the shock title shot afterwards. See, Jaggy-baby is crafty.
JLT: The Stripped Championship is also defended tonight, the feud of the summer: Icenique and Laura. Will Laura finally get to prove that she is right and win the match, which means Icenique will have attend AA meetings and generally clean up her act. However, to make this fair, if Icenique retains then Laura will be forced not to pursue or harass Icenique any longer. The match will be fought using the items that has joined them together, so vodka bottles and protest signs?
Leah: Maybe, Jamie, maybe! We also have a personal match with a tragedy at heart. Sexy Amanda and Azrael, currently tag division sovereigns, will take on dysfunctional Black Cherry and Erica Lopez to defend Jade’s honour. Jade attempted suicide due to a flagging career, and her Dark Inferno counterparts were quick to extract their emotions and revenge on the so-called “perpetrators”.
JLT: That is an emotional match, we also have a not so emotional one from an adult point of view. But it means the world to the teenagers of Divas Unleashed, as Shayla Walker and Lauren Langley go two on two with Carrie and Charmion. With the talk show host Ashley T. Bopper as the special referee. What’s the root cause of this match? Arguments over Josh Hartnett, insulting mothers and general teenage hormones causing them to be “right bitches” in the worlds of our British team-mate…
Leah: I hate Ashley, stupid accent. What I do not hate is the sign of rising talent, Jessie Lockhart, Julie Foxx and Trishelle Bryant all face on against each other tonight too. All making their pay per view debut, and Trishelle her DU debut, which I can’t wait to see. It’s always fun to look back this time next year and say “Look, they were only babies then.” Not literally. But you know.
JLT: I do indeed. I’m sure all the Australians know Eric Bana too, as the sexy screen star presents the Diva of the Month award in the evening, Krysta Taylor is standing by backstage with her boobs under her nose, and also, we’ve heard there is something happening in the parking lot, already!
[A limousine is seen pulling into the arena, the fans give a pop for this expecting some huge star to emerge. The door comes to a halt and the door opens as Kaci Russell falls out onto the floor on her back giggling and laughing with a Barcardi Breezer in her hand. She gets up and takes a sip from the bottle, from the limousine also steps Crystal cackling at Kaci’s fall. The fans cheer loudly as Crystal is seen for the first time in months. The two divas get up and hug. They walk up to the arena where Austin Mack is standing with a frown on his face.]
Kaci Russell: It’s a man!
Crystal: Has he come to spank us?!
[The two giggle. Austin interrupts them.]
Austin Mack: What are you two doing here? You’re not on tonight’s show, and by the stink of your nasty breath, you’re drunk too. What kind of employees are you?
Crystal: Hey, Mr. Powers, we’re sorry. I’m injured, I can’t help it! My friend here, Kaki, she invited me here! She has a mini-bar in her limo! HA!
Kaci Russell: And the best thing is, I don’t have to water it!
[The two laugh again, Crystal begins to spill her drink on the floor. Crystal then begins to argue with the bottle, before throwing it at the wall making it smash.]
Kaci Russell: If you ever come around here again, we’ll hunt you down, and kick your ass. You hear it? I mean, what? Was this a line from a movie where like Charlies Angels and then she says “I’ll hunt you down”- Oh! It was my Miss Congeniality!
Crystal: Oh awesome song! I love it, like when she’s walking along and they eat pizza, whoa, that is just!
Kaci Russell: Hehe! I know exactly where you are coming from Chrysler.
Austin Mack: Well I don’t! What the hell is wrong with you?! You turn up drunk and expect her serine highness Jaguar Yoshiko to let you into the arena? Oh no, no, no!
[Crystal and Kaci frown. Crystal adopts a British accent and a weird body shape.]
Crystal: Powers! This is the Queen let us in or I will chop off your head!
Austin Mack: You’re not going anywhere!
Kaci Russell: Oh for the love of…
[Kaci moves her arm forward and smashes the bottle over Austin’s head making him fall to the doors behind him and slides and fall on the side of them. Crystal begins to laugh hysterically before they step over his body and into the arena. Crystal then re-opens the door and speaks to an unconscious Austin.]
Crystal: Shagadelic baby! Do I make you horny? Do I? Do I?
[Kaci then comes from behind and grabs her Crystal’s top and drags her into the arena, they stumble and laugh. We cut back to JLT and Leah.]
Leah: Oh, my eyes are watering. They think he is Austin Powers, Jamie! That is so funny!
JLT: That is disrespectful, what kind of employees are they, Austin was right. I thought Icenique was bad, and they just assaulted him! He could be dead for all I know.
Leah: Lighten. Up.
Tag Team Match
JLT: Our first match of the evening is revolving about a hurtful issue. Jade who attempted suicide after a flagging period in her career here at DU has been absent for almost a month, and Amanda and Azrael wanted revenge on who they thought were responsible.
Leah: Which was Black Cherry and Erica Lopez who were forced into this match after a feud with each other, which is going to be interesting to see how they do as a team!
JLT: And if Jade’s honour can be defended.
[The lights dim and the pounding beat of "Not Listening" by Papa Roach blasts over the PA system and the crowd get ready as they know that's coming. After an explosion of pyro, Black Cherry makes herself seen to the fans and saps their energy through their cheers. She walks down the ring, ready to do whatever she has to do to get whatever she wants. She steps through the ropes and climbs one of the turnbuckles. She dismounts after looking over the crowd and gets down to business. Erica Lopez then walks out from the curtain to her music and walks down to the ring.]
John Roe: Introducing first from Essex, England and Miami, Florida respectively. Poison Passion and the Knockout Queen…BLACK CHERRY AND ERICA LOPEZ!
[Erica and Cherry stare at each other in the ring. Amanda and Azrael’s music hits as they walk out together, raising their belts and walking to the ring.]
John Roe: Their opponents, from Japan, they are the reigning Tag Team Champions…AZRAEL AND SEXY AMANDA!!!
[The two teams stand staring at each other, Amanda walks towards Erica when Black Cherry grabs Amanda from behind and whips her to the corner following it up by a clothesline and then bulldogging her to the centre of the ring. Black Cherry gets to her feet when Azrael flattens her with a clothesline, Erica comes from behind with a sleeper hold but Azrael leans forward sending her over and then kicks her out of the ring. Amanda also rolls out of the ring. Azrael brings Erica to her feet and nails some uppercuts before applying a headlock, Erica shoves Azrael to the ropes but Azrael comes back with a spear. Erica manages to fit her way back to the ropes with some harsh right hands. Azrael gets up and stares at Amanda before tagging in her co-champion.]
[Amanda and Azrael double kick Erica and suplex her into the canvas. They then pull her to her feet as Azrael hoists her high above her head and then drops her onto Amanda’s knee. Amanda then begins her up and pulls her up into a full nelson and slams her into the canvas, Amanda then begins to stomp on her. Amanda the kneels down and puts Erica in a front face lock before climbing onto her back and putting her in an armbar.]
Leah: Good team work from our champs.
[Black Cherry heads into the ring and kicks the back of Amanda’s head, Amanda gets off her cover and turns around when Black Cherry flattens her with a spinning heel kick. Black Cherry picks her up and executes a powerbomb onto her when Azrael leaps from the top rope onto her and Erica with a cross body.]
JLT: Why can’t we employ better referees to keep control of these matches!
[Erica then gets to her feet and runs to the ropes, Amanda gets to her feet when Erica leaps into the air and decks her with a right hand knocking them both to the canvas. Black Cherry then gets Azrael into her unprettier move and drives her into the canvas. Erica and Black Cherry then high five each other before Cherry slaps Erica across the face and clotheslines her down.]
JLT: What?!
Leah: They don’t like each other! Obviously Jamie, do your research.
[Cherry turns around and finds Sexy Amanda coming at her, Cherry picks her up but she turns in into a flying headscissors from one half of the tag champions. Black Cherry then swings at her but Amanda counters it into her finisher. Amanda then braces herself for the cover.]
[1]
[2]
[Erica manages to sweep the legs of Amanda making her drop out of the canvas. Amanda then climbs to her feet but Black Cherry whips her to ropes. Azrael is back up and heads towards Black Cherry but the Essex Girl turns and nails her with a superkick, Azrael then spins around and is caught by a harsh uppercut to the jaw by Erica who then drops onto a cover after a modified version of her finisher.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
John Roe: Here are your winners…ERICA “THE HAMMER” LOPEZ AND BLACK CHERRY!
[Erica and Black Cherry then begin to argue in the ring, Black Cherry is handed her belt and uses it to knock Erica with the head with it and stand in the ring. Suddenly a masked woman appears with a kendo stick and slams it across Cherry’s head. Erica then pulled to her feet and locked into a painful looking move making her land on her neck, the masked woman then begins to lay her kendo stick into both women before security chase her out of the ring fearing she is an obsessed fan. Azrael and Amanda look on smugly on the outside of the ring.]
Leah: Who the heck was that?
JLT: Well? I don’t know!
Leah: Cherry and Erica win though, just, if that woman had arrived moments before then it would be a different story.
[A car is seen pulling up next to the abandoned limo of Crystal and Kaci, the door opens and Laura steps out with a smile on her face. A man in a suit with a clipboard, huge glasses and buck teeth also does. He smiles and nods to Laura as they walk towards the entrance. The man frowns at the body of Austin lying with blood on it, Laura taps him.]
Laura: That’s always happening. It’s so G*d-damn appalling!
[The man shakes his head and he and Laura are followed into the arena and it’s corridors by our camera crew. Laura arrives at the door of Jaguar Yoshiko, she gently taps on the knock and smiles nicely at the man. There is no reply, so instead Laura knocks harder and begins to mutter swearwords under her breath. There is a final “come in” from Holly inside, the challenger for the Stripped title and the clipboard man walk in.]
[Jaguar Yoshiko rises to her feet and walks to the front of the desk, she and Laura shake hands, as well as the mysterious man next to her. Laura introduces them politely.]
Laura: This is George Winter, he is from the Athlete’s Health and Safety Committee. I’ve brought him here especially to see what shame Icenique and her friends are doing, he’s very concerned.
Jaguar Yoshiko: Nice to meet you. On my roster I ensure that they are all in good health, have a clear mind and know the rules of this federation!
[Suddenly there is a knock at the door, Laura rolls her eyes and clenches her fists. She walks up to it and yanks it open as Holly Wentz begins to walk in with four stacks of coffee.]
Laura: Ugh, you stupid b*tch! Why won’t you just f*ck off!
[Laura slams the door as screaming is heard as Holly is knocked out of the room. Laura turns back.]
Jaguar Yoshiko: So what can we do for you Mr. Willis?
George Winter: It’s Winter, actually. I’m here on business. I was very distressed by Laura’s call. I will also be aiding Icenique in getting clean of her intravenous drug use, alcohol addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.
[Laura giggles slightly covering her mouth with her hand.]
Jaguar Yoshiko: Certainly!
George Winter: Would you like to hear about my programs that she would be on? Or you could put any other diva on?
Jaguar Yoshiko: Yes, I would, thank you George.
George Winter: My most popular program is Listen, See, Do which in a short term is called LSD. It helps the patients to listen to what is wrong with what they’re doing, watch themselves on tapes, and begin to do something in changing their ways.
George Winter: My second is Personal Change Pays, also known as PCP, where it is a calmer course. It sees the people off their lives cut out and them surrounded by people of the same nature, and they cannot reach their loved ones, etc. until the program is complete and they have changed. This is a sort of, pull away and give back, method of teaching them what they are doing is wrong. Most of my patients do not see that they are committing sin, they think it is natural.
George Winter: I also have XTC, Xtreme Tyrannial Claim, where the patient has the power to do anything and am faced with choices. They are kept in a confined space where they can make two choices, to have a drug or drink, or to get something better and worth something more. We teach them that are better. Also GHB but that’s for the most shocking cases.
[Laura tries not to laugh, and Jaguar looks besumed.]
Jaguar Yoshiko: Well, I, there’s, George, they, they sound like some interesting programs! I’m sure the divas would love to take LSD!
[Laura bursts out laughing, George and Jaguar stare at her but she begins to mock crying. She speaks through an tearful voice.]
Laura: I just can’t believe it, all my friends! They need help; they used to be so good!
[Jaguar walks up to Laura and cups her face in her hands, looking at her through sunglasses.]
Jaguar Yoshiko: Laura, it is okay to be upset. I am upset. I feel very proud that you had the knowledge, sense and bring along a man to help. I think I respect you now, and it takes a lot for me to respect the filth in this federation.
[Laura smiles at Jaguar; she turns and opens the door with George Winter following. Jaguar smiles, Laura yanks the door open as Holly Wentz is standing their still frozen with steam pouring off her from the hot coffee, Laura sheepishly smiles at her as Holly opens her mouth to scream. We cut to ringside.]
JLT: The night gets more surreal as we progress, but Laura looking to charm Jaguar tonight bringing in the weird man. Did he notice all his programs were the names of drugs?
Leah: I don’t think he did, it’s cute someone so ugly is so naďve. Laura is playing a strategy in my opinion, she is trying to get Jaguar on her side and poison her against Icenique so if anything happens illegally in their match, Jaguar will support Laura.
JLT: Wow, an actually intelligent comment from you. I’m impressed!
Triple Threat Match
JLT: Next up Julie Foxx, Jessie Lockhart and Trishelle Bryant all face off in a triple threat match and all are rising stars here in DU. Trishelle is not only making her pay per view debut like her opponents, but also her DU one too! She looks to impress the fans here in Australia, as well as the management watching backstage!
Leah: Well, her name has impressed me. It’s pretty.
JLT: Don’t judge a book by its cover.
Leah: What book?
[The lights grow dim as the titan-tron shows us shots of
some Philadelphia neighborhoods. Shots that consists of old burnt cars,
abandoned warehouses, urban projects and then we see thugs hanging on the
street corner doing their thing. Next we see a convoy of Police Crusiers
racing to a crime scene followed by a subway train traveling at a fast
speed. Homeless people are seen laying about in alleys followed by a night
time shot of Trishelle wearing all black leaning against a project building
with the Puerto Rican flag painted on it. She looks right at us (Into the
camera) and then she begins walking towards the front of the projects where
we see a ton of thugs chatting, rolling dice and doing god knows what else.
They stare at her as she walks by and then pyros begin to go off as "Whats
Happenin" by Method Man and Busta Rhymes begins blasting throughout the
arena followed by the lights slowly coming back on. The pyros end and we see
Trishelle standing at the entranceway. Her wrestling attire is a pair of
Desert Storm style camoflauge pants that are baggy and sits just below her
waist showing off her thong, She wears a black tank top and and a black
bulletproof jacket/flak jacket over the tank top. She also wears black boots
along with black fighting gloves. Sometimes she will wear a different set of
attire which consists of a pair of tight fitting leather shorts, a
sleeve-less black leather jacket and black strap on leather boots. As
Trishelle makes her way down to the ring, she hi-fives some of the fans and
when she gets to the ring, she does her vertical leap onto the ring apron
and flips over the ropes and into the ring where she runs to the nearest
turnbuckle and hops onto it. She raises her hands embracing the cheers of
the fans before leaping back down and removing her flak jacket. She tosses
it to the outside and prepares for battle.]
John Roe: Introducing first, from Philadelphia, Pennslyvania, at a weight of 128lbs, making her DU debut…TRISHELLE BRYANT!
["I'm only happy when it rains" by Garbage erupts as Jessie Lockhart steps out from behind the black curtain. Jessie makes her way on down to the ring at this time to a huge ovation of cheers from the fans. Jessie waves to the fans before she heads on down to the ring.]
John Roe: Her opponent, from New York City, New York, at a weight of 104lbs…JESSIE LOCKHART!!!
[Julie Foxx appears on the video wall backstage, unconscious and knocked out by a mysterious attacker. A note is lying on her back, Trishelle and Jessie frown.]
John Roe: Due to Julie Foxx being unable to compete, this is now a singles match!
[The fans give a mixed reaction but cheer once the bell is sounded. Trishelle and Jessie circle each other, with Jessie nailing punches to the face. Jessie then whips her to the ropes, she nails a back body drop but Trishelle gets back to her feet and clotheslines Lockhart down. Trishelle then applies a headlock to Jessie, with Jessie pushing her to the ropes once again but with Bryant holding on to them this time as Jessie lands on her back from an attempted dropkick. Trishelle then runs forward grabbing the legs of Jessie and flipping over into a cover.]
[1]
[Jessie manages to kick out.]
JLT: Trishelle is fast, she knows Jessie is a threat and is taking her down.
[Trishelle gets to her feet and whips Jessie to the corner, she follows up with a spear. Trishelle Bryant then props her up on the top turnbuckle and executes a frakensteiner sending Jessie into the ring. Trishelle then tries another cover but Jessie has her foot on the rope.]
[Both women climb to their feet with Jessie getting an advantage by sweeping the legs away from Trishelle, Jessie then straddle Bryant and begin to pummel her with lefts and rights. Bryant shoves her off and both women get to their feet, Jessie kicks her in the mid-section and tries to nail a butterfly powerbomb but Trishelle counters sending Jessie over the top and landing on her back.]
JLT: See, Trishelle’s name is not only pretty but she is talented too. Maybe you should judge a book.
Leah: What book?!
[Trishelle then picks up Jessie from behind into an electric chair drop, slamming her opponent into the canvas. Trishelle then lifts up Jessie leg and slams it into the canvas, Trishelle then tries to cover.]
[1]
[2]
[Jessie kicks out, Dana Lockhart looks on from the outside with concern. Trishelle then runs to the ropes but Dana grabs her foot, this gives time for Jessie to counter. Trishelle runs towards her with a clothesline but Jessie ducks and nails an uppercut.]
JLT: The power of thy sister.
[Trishelle then falls to the ropes but Jessie grabs her into her hanging armbar leg scissors finishing move slamming her into the canvas. Jessie Lockhart then covers, with Dana aiding her sister by placing her feet on the ropes.]
[1]
[2]
[3]
John Roe: Here is your winner…JESSIE LOCKHART!!!
JLT: The Cerebral Queen has beaten Trishelle Bryant, thanks to her sister. I think the pressure on Trishelle was too much, her first pay per view, her first match, her debut, that could all be factors. I’m sure we’ll be seeing more of her in the future.
Leah: As we will Jessie!
JLT: I wonder what happened to Julie though?!
[Ashley T. Bopper and Charmion are backstage. Charmion is getting her hair put into braids by Ashley as they sit discussing Justin Timberlake’s six-pack. Carrie is sitting in the background reading the “Daily Death” newspaper.]
[There is a knock at the door and Lilith walks in with talk-show host Trisha by her side, and handcuffed. Trisha seems to have gone a little insane, as she offers everyone a DNA test.]
Lilith: Hush, Trisha. You’ll be back in Britain tomorrow, it’s the weekend, you’re not on yet. Charmion, whenever you’re finished failing me I wanted to say you better win tonight! I’m wishing you and Carrie got luck! I’ll be watching closely.
[Ashley tells Charmion she has to go, taking off her NSync t-shirt to reveal a referees one. We then fade to Shayla and Lauren watching the scene on a monitor in their dressing room.]
Lauren Langley: Ooh, don’t upset mommy Chamrion! Mommy this, mommy that! Her mom is so fat that when she went to sit in front of the tv, I missed the Olympics!
Shayla Walker: I know, Lilith is a nasty piece of work. On a serious note though Laur, I was thinking maybe you and I could become a full-fledged teen team in the future? We’re both young in our careers; it could be good for getting us to the top. Plus we would be history makers!
Lauren Langley: That could be cool, Erica isn’t going to me my partner anymore, and I’m unsure where to go. But I’ll think about it, especially if we win tonight.
Shayla Walker: That’s no problem at all!
[Shayla and Lauren high five. We cut back to the ever-loveable JLT and Leah.]
JLT: Shayla and Lauren look confident, which is always good.
Leah: You mean against the royals? Please! I’m loving the Hell-reigners. Hehe, get it? Hellraisers, reigners?
JLT: Are you just saying that because you know you’re going to Hell?
Teen Queens Match
JLT: Our next match is one I’m sure 13 year old boys have been waiting for. The chance to see their favourite teenage pin-ups all rolling around the ring! Of course, if you’re over 18 and find that sexy you are very, very disturbed!
Leah: Yes. Shayla Walker and Lauren Langley team up for the first time, they assaulted Charmion backstage and both were difficult guests on “Ashley Interviews…?”. Ashley is the special referee, and made a special friendship bracelet last week for Charmion. Princesses of Hell, Carrie and Charmion, are not getting along at this moment in time.
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